


End of Darkness

by Tabitha Craft (Tabithacraft)



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst and Smut, Canon-Typical Violence, Civil War, Clarke Griffin - Freeform, Commander Lexa, Drama, Eventual Clarke Griffin/Lexa, F/F, Protective Clarke Griffin, Protective Lexa, Unapologetic Clarke, endgame Lexa/Clarke griffin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-12
Updated: 2016-02-15
Packaged: 2018-05-13 08:54:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 95,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5702497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tabithacraft/pseuds/Tabitha%20Craft
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Ark decides to take over Mount Weather and its missiles to rid the earth of the savage Grounders. Civil war erupts as Clarke and her cohorts decide to oppose this plan. Clarke and Lexa reunite to fight the Ark in a war for the right to live on earth. The story includes an unapologetic Clarke, civil war, friendship, betrayal, fighting, lust, sex and the all powerful Commander Lexa in love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You would blow the world to pieces for power?

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my new fic. This will be a multi chapter, 100 universe fic.
> 
>  
> 
> **Need to know:**
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>  
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> **The kiss never happened.**
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>  
> 
> **Clarke has some serious denial issues going on at first.**
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>  
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> **Starts some time after the season 2 finale.**
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>  
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> **This fic is a Clexa fic but it's got a ton of action and plot.**
> 
>  
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> **Bellamy and Clarke are friends but only ever friends and the story starts with him because he is in Camp Jaha and Clarke is off post season 2 finale.**
> 
>  
> 
> I will post a chapter a day. If I have time maybe 2. My aim is to have it done for the start of season 3. Everything thus far was written before I saw trailers (up to chapter 12:-)
> 
> I love comments. Comments are the reward we get, not for writing, but for sharing our stories:-)

**Chapter One**

'We eliminated the Mountain and we can eliminate the other Grounders too,' Abby banged a hand on the table to emphasize her point. Bellamy couldn't believe the words the crazy woman was muttering - did she want to doom them all?

' _You_ didn't eliminate anyone,' Bellamy argued forcefully and Kane looked between he and Abby.

'We will never be safe on earth so long as the Grounders are out there and being led by that...that _child!_ ' Abby's voice rose to emphasize her point.

'You can't seriously be suggesting what I think you are?' Bellamy was breathing hard.

'I'm thinking that we take responsibility for our people and their safety.'

'The same way that our ancestors did?' Bellamy knew his disgust was evident. The council was officially crazy.

'We have a chance to end the madness of earth,' Abby insisted. 'To start again.'

'She makes a point. The Grounders aren't civilized. They're brutal and savage and the Commander rules through tyranny,' Jaha argued and Abby shot him a look of appreciation.

'I'm not the Commanders biggest fan, but even I wouldn't call it tyranny,' Bellamy began but Abby jumped in,

'And what would you call it? She betrayed an alliance and ran away. She killed her guard when he was tied to a log, with a thousand cuts to his body and a brutal beheading. She rules with tyranny.'

'Are you actually interested in what I think?' Bellamy seethed.

'We have missiles now, the means to end them, now we've taken the mountain,' Abby turned to Kane, Jaha and the others who nodded.

'Perhaps we should issue an ultimatum?' Jaha proposed and Bellamy saw red,

'You're going to kill us all,' he told them all darkly, 'and Clarke, she'd not thank you for destroying her efforts for peace.'

'This will bring peace,' Abby told him. 'And we'll hold the power. Our people can live in peace.'

'Fuck this,' Bellamy stormed out of the Ark and headed straight to where Raven, Octavia, Lincoln and Miller were sat. He glanced over at Monroe, Monty, Jasper and Harper but was relieved that they were engrossed in conversation. What he had to say would have to be need to know.

'Bell what happened?' Octavia stared at him.

'We need to go find Clarke before the council kills us all,' he growled darkly. Lincoln frowned and Raven looked like she was about to say something loudly, 'keep yourselves quiet,' he sat down and for a few minutes stoked the fire with a stick. 'They're talking of going to war with the Grounders,' he didn't quite manage trying to sound as if he were talking about the weather, but he kept his tone neutral. Raven did not,

'They want to fucking die?' she asked, 'what's the big plan? Kill them all with a nuclear bomb, I mean that went so well the last time.'

'Pretty much. Abby talked about eliminating them with missiles. Look, we have to do something. We need to find Clarke, keep an ear to the ground here, make sure we stay in the loop and we need to warn the Grounders. I'm figuring the best way to do that without starting a war is to get Clarke to go to Lexa.'

'Lexa betrayed Clarke,' Raven's voice was low.

'Because she did what was best for her people. Don't get me wrong, you know how I feel about what she did and what that meant Clarke had to do, but if we want to stop the second apocalypse we're going to need help,' Bellamy leaned in.

'So what do we do?' there was no hesitation in the faces around him and as Octavia asked the question the others nodded.

'I have to stay here,' he didn't look best pleased. 'I need to stay in on the council meetings and I need to try and be the voice of reason. Lincoln, you have the best reason to leave. You and Octavia?'

'You can't be serious? They're considered traitors out there,' Miller stared at Bellamy. 'The Grounders may target them.'

'We'll do it,' Lincoln didn't hesitate and Bellamy felt a surge of pride at his sister's firm nod. 'When should we leave?'

'Now,' Bellamy answered quickly, the fear in the pit of his stomach increasing with every moment. 'Raven, can you pack them decent radio's? We can communicate by morse code if we need to, just send clicks with the button.'

'Ok,' Raven nodded.

'We'll go pack,' Lincoln stood and headed off, though Octavia hesitated.

'Be safe O,' Bellamy took her hand and she nodded.

'Where do we look Bell? If anyone knows where she might be, it's you.'

'Beyond Mount Weather is my best guess.'

'Ok,' Octavia nodded and kissed her brother's cheek, 'you stay safe too. And keep us all safe.'

XOXOXOXO 

Clarke hid behind the tree with her knife at the ready.

'I know you're there,' she called clearly. 'If you're going to kill me, you can go ahead and try.'

'Clarke,' Octavia called.

'Octavia?' Clarke's posture relaxed but not entirely, her knife still held in anticipation of attack.

'We've been looking for you,' Octavia stepped into the clearing where Clarke had been living, if the small fire and various items were anything to go by.

'I haven't been hiding.'

'You ran away,' Octavia all but accused, and Lincoln lay a restraining arm on her.

'I did not run away from my actions,' Clarke glared at her, 'I chose to take time to honour those I killed.'

'To honour them?' Octavia scoffed, 'you've been taking time to honour those you allowed to die in TonDC?'

'I will not apologize for what was done there, or at the Mountain. Saving people and ending tyranny has always had a price and those people paid it for all of you. I took the burden of their deaths and you should be thanking me,' Clarke took a step in Octavia's direction. Neither Octavia or Lincoln faltered.

'Thanking you for saving our people with the death of others?' Octavia emphasized the irony.

'Are you dishonouring the dead? Are you trying to suggest that their deaths were not noble? Their deaths were unfortunately necessary and they died to save us all. The mountain would have killed everyone of us - all our people. The mountain had killed tens of thousands of Lincoln's people. Each death that allowed the destruction of the mountain was the death of honour, because it ended the horror,' Clarke was clearly as angry as she was unapologetic.

'I don't speak ill of the dead, you know that,' Octavia huffed.

'But you seek to judge me for the decisions I made,' Clarke's expression was hard.

'Yes I judge you,' Octavia yelled, 'you could have saved the people of TonDC.'

'And I would have done,' Clarke spoke boldly, and took another step in Octavia's direction, her expression so fierce that Octavia faltered, just slightly before steeling herself. 'But if I had saved those people then the Mountain would not have fallen. Bellamy would be dead. Our friends would be dead. The thousand Grounders inside the mountain would be dead. We would be living in fear and fighting a war with the mountain that we could not win. With our bone marrow they could have left the mountain and they would have. They would have taken us all and annihilated the Grounders to take the earth for themselves. So yes I let them die.'

'Ok,' Octavia blinked several times as Clarke's words sunk in, the cruel irony not lost on the Skai warrior that Clarke was speaking of those who wished to take the earth.

'Now _you_ have come to find me. What do you want?'

'We need you to come lead our people,' Octavia stated and Clarke laughed bitterly,

'You came to judge me for the deaths I have caused and then to ask me to lead? I think you aught to sort yourself out Octavia.'

'Look, you did save my brother, and he's been on the council since you left. They plan to take out the Grounders with the mountain's missiles. They plan to take the earth for themselves.'

'My mother plans to destroy a civilization?' Clarke's face was in Octavia's, her eyes furious under her furrowed brow.

'Bellamy is undercover for now, though they know he's loyal to you so who knows for how long. He will be our ears inside until he finds someone better, but we cannot allow them to follow through with this Clarke. We can't.'

'Start at the beginning,' Clarke huffed.

'They want to take over the mountain and its missiles. They plan to move our people there. Bellamy is the only one of us with any access to information at the moment but he was so shocked he tried to talk them out of it, so I don't know for how long we'll know their plans. Your mother talked about ending the tyranny and savagery of the ground with the missiles and essentially starting again.'

'She wants to blow the earth to pieces to end savagery?' Clarke crossed her arms over her chest.

'Thats her plan,' Octavia nodded and watched as blond hair whirled around and Clarke began stuffing things into a bag, each movement jerky with her anger.

'I will end her before I allow that to happen,' Clarke stood tall and Octavia couldn't help but be impressed. She looked to Lincoln who had a similar expression on his face. Octavia watched as Clarke gave a low whistle and turned to stare where the sound of movements came through the forest. Her eyes widened at the sight of the beast before her - a tall, imposing black horse. Clarke patted his neck and shoved a foot in the stirrup before swinging herself onto his back.

'Where did you get the horse?' Octavia asked in obvious awe.

'I know how to trade,' Clarke shrugged. 'Not all despise me for my actions and I needed a horse. Some people are thankful. I wouldn't take advantage but if they wish to trade healing for a horse then I won't not say no.'

'He's beautiful.'

'Yes,' Clarke nodded, 'but he can't carry three.'

'You take Octavia and I will head to find Indra,' Lincoln spoke.

'We will meet you in TonDC. Ensure they fetch Lexa immediately from wherever she is. We will be there as soon as I have spoken to my mother.'

'Sha Skaiprisa,' Lincoln bowed his head and Octavia stared at him in shock,

'Lincoln it's Clarke,' her gaze flicked between the two of them as she wondered at Lincoln's use of a title meant.

'Clarke saved me and my people,' Lincoln announced before squeezing Octavia's hand and heading off.

'Come,' Clarke held out a hand and pulled Octavia onto the horse behind her.

XOXOXOXO 

The guards aimed their guns as Clarke rode up to the gate,

'Open the gates,' she shouted loudly and apparently someone recognized her as the gates were slowly opened. Clarke slid from the horse and then helped Octavia down. Octavia watched as her once friend released the animal without tying it up or bringing it into camp. She then strode with purpose towards the meeting room.

'Send the council to meet with me,' she barked to the approaching guards and when her eyes found Bellamy's she willed him to understand everything she couldn't say - that she was glad he was ok and relieved he had alerted her to the situation. His curt nod let her know that he did.

'So you're back, Princess,' he stated and she nodded,

'Apparently you people think you're going to blow up the world in order to control it,' she shot him a sideways look.

'Come on now, the idea has merit,' he shot her one back sarcastically and then hugged her tightly, breathing whispered words into her ear, 'we need someone else to be undercover, as they know I'm loyal to you. Raven has offered given her relationship with your mother. She's been angry and outspoken against the Grounders. I either leave with you today or I'll follow soon,' he released her.

'Got it. And thanks,' she flashed him a smile.

'It's nice to see you back princess. We missed you.'

'We?'

'Those that would fight this agenda.'

'Great.'

'Clarke,' Abby Griffin burst into the room, arms outstretched but Clarke physically spurned her affection and instead stood, hands on hips and yelled,

'You would blow the world to pieces for power?' she asked, her voice dangerous. Abby's expression hardened,

'Like my daughter I will do what is necessary for the survival of my people.'

'So instead of seeking an alliance which would surely be granted, you seek to obliterate, to cause death to those that do not fight you?'

'The Grounders are savages. We all witnessed what they are capable of and what an alliance means to them. They do not keep their word and they are violent.'

'You are the one that plans war,' Clarke pointed out, aware of Bellamy, Octavia and the other council members standing and watching the two of them. She acknowledged that Raven had entered with her mother and nodded along when her mother spoke, nothing too supportive but a general agreement being made. Bellamy was right of course - no one would believe that he would go against Clarke. They were a team and even when he didn't entirely agree, Bellamy was known to back her up.

'I plan to help the earth start anew. We need to bring civilization to the people here.'

'Through the savagery of war?' Clarke asked and she saw the faltering in Kane's mask even if her mother did not. She stored the information to be used if these talks did not halt her mother's insanity.

'The council and I have spoken. We destroyed the mountain, and we can destroy the remaining Grounders. We will then be able to live in peace. There can be no peace while they exist. We have seen their ways and we do not wish to live that way. And with the mountains technology we can get rid of this threat with no blood shed,' Abby stared at her.

'This is an unprecedented opportunity to create the life on earth we dreamed of, back when we believed no one lived down here,' Jaha offered.

'But people _do_ live down here and it is their planet as much as ours, more so perhaps. And let me remind you,' she stepped closer to her mother, her words low and full of seething anger. 'When you say there will be no bloodshed you speak of the blood of our people. You would take a hundred thousand lives which is more blood than I can imagine. If you choose to wage this war you will take my blood also, unless I manage to take yours before hand. This is your last chance.'

'My last chance?' Abby stared at her daughter momentarily confused. 'What do you mean?'

'I mean that if you want a war, then you have one. I will fight against you and for the twelve clans, and if you choose to eliminate us all with your bombs, well then you eliminate me.'

'You cannot be serious,' Abby scoffed, 'you're being a child Clarke. You honestly can't have a clue what you're saying here.'

'I know exactly what I'm saying.'

'The people are loyal to their chancellor,' Abby stood taller, 'and I will arrest you Clarke, make no mistake, if it means I save you from yourself.'

'I'd like to see you try,' Clarke glowered.

'Guards,' Abby nodded to the guards behind Clarke and Bellamy but to Clarke's surprise they merely stepped up behind her and raised their guns at her mother. Clarke was pleased that she managed to not let her surprise show on her face, and merely drew the dagger from her jacket pocket, and rested it at her side,

'We will leave, but if we are forced to leave then we leave as your enemies.'

'You would start a civil war, for _them_?' Jaha stared at her as if she were a mad person.

'I would start a civil war for us,' she declared, 'we have no hope on this planet if we choose to annihilate rather than negotiate.' Again something flickered in Kane's expression, though he did a better job of hiding it.

'The mountain is ours,' her mother declared.

'You think _I_ fear the mountain?' Clarke stepped forward angrily, her dagger slicing the air between them, 'I do not fear a place that houses the bodies of those I've killed. Each body, each spirit drives my decision to fight you over this.'

'You realize that you are threatening your mother?'

'And you are threatening your child!'

'Without Raven or Monty you cannot hope to disable the missiles at the mountain and Raven agrees with me,' Abby stared her daughter down. Clarke looked to Raven who gave a shrug,

'Sorry Clarke, but your mom's right.'

'Monty would never side against me,' Clarke announced and saw something in her mother's eyes, 'but you arrested him the second I came into camp, right?'

Her mother just shrugged. 'People need the protection of this fence, of the gate and you're deluded if you think anyone will leave with you.'

'We'll see,' Clarke stormed, and turned and headed outside, flanked by Bellamy and four guards who were apparently on their side. She looked to Bellamy and he held out a hand, assisting her climb onto some crates. 'People of the Ark,' she yelled and then Octavia whistled loudly, the people stopping what they were doing and turning to face her. She saw her mother and the other council members stood in the shadows watching her, 'the council plan to start war with the Grounders. They'll tell you your blood won't be shed. But the Grounders survived a nuclear war, they've survived bombs and wars and a radiation soaked earth. And now your council would try and bomb them out of existence. Don't be fooled - they will come. They will come and they will kill you for the blood you have taken. Even if you do not fear death you should fear the desire to kill all people so ours can claim the blood soaked soil. I will fight the council. I will fight my own mother, because this is wrong. This is their earth and we can't just claim it as ours. We shouldn't take through force but learn to exist alongside one another. Join our fight. You may die if you fight with us but it would be a noble death that sought to prevent tyranny and murder.'

She stared at her silent people and then jumped down from the crates and turned for the gates. She marched towards them, hearing movement behind her. She did not turn, would not, so it was unknown to her that just over a quarter of the people of the Ark were behind her. The guards made no move to open the gates and she nodded to her own guards who drew their guns.

'Would you like the first battle to occur right here, right now? I assure you that despite our lack of weapons we would win.'

There was silence,

'Open the gates,' she yelled at length and pointed her dagger at one man in particular, one whom she had seen weakness in, one whom she had once fixed up in the medical bay. There was a moment of indecision and then the gates were being opened. In a display of power Clarke didn't recognize herself she whistled and her horse appeared from the forest and in one fluid movement she was seated upon it. At once she turned the beast and assessed those who had followed her. She moved the horse through her people until she was before an old lady. 'Help her up Bell,' she knew he would have followed and a moment later the lady was seated behind her. 'Hold on,' she patted the frail arms that wound around her. 'We must ride ahead of the people,' she spoke to Bellamy. 'Make sure that the village is prepared to receive them.'

'You go,' Bellamy nodded.

'Keep them safe. They won't attack us now but we are at war. If you are met or attacked by any Trikru say you seek asylum and that Indra and the Commander will be expecting you. I hope that I'll manage to ensure no such meeting occurs.'

'Ok. Well done in there Clarke.'

'And you. Speak to no one but Octavia, Miller, Lincoln and me for now. Until we know who we can trust.'

'You got it,' he nodded.


	2. Best laid plans....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke arrives at TonDC to see Lexa, apprehensive about their reunion. Her feelings around the Commander confuse her as they make plans for freeing Monty from the Ark and securing the mountain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Need to know: there's one scene in this where Lexa is a little bit bold. I think in the show her kiss was wonderfully bold so I don't think it's to OOC. Clarke is...in denial. Not realizing why exactly she is behaving as she is...
> 
> Thanks for reviews - I do so love them! Just let me know what you think, what you want, don't want, loved, hated...it's super easy:-)

**Chapter Two**

Weapons were drawn on her approach and the guards eyed her wearily, though when recognition flickered in their gazes they seemed uncertain whether they should lower their weapons or bow at her feet. In the end their weapons hovered half raised and their heads lowered.

'Ai Klark kom Skaikru,' she spoke loudly and firmly, 'and I am here to form an alliance. I wish to speak to Heda. If she is not here then take me to Indra,' she held up her sword and dropped it into the weapons box deciding to keep her dagger. Announcing her name was clearly unnecessary but she'd done so anyway, wanting her intentions to be upfront.

'Klark?' one of Lexa's guards nodded to her stepping closer.

'Peyo,' she greeted him in return. 'I have news of a threat against your people. All your people and I must speak the Commander.'

Peyo turned and yelled in Trigedeslang to another warrior.

'He will take your horse and I will take you to Heda. She arrived not long ago. Lincoln managed to convince Indra to send for her, at your behest.'

'Yes, Lincoln was my messenger,' Clarke nodded, 'and my horse will be fine in the forest. Please help this woman. Take her somewhere she'll be cared for.'

'Sha, Skaiprisa,' Peyo nodded and Clarke handed the old woman to Peyo before slipping off the horse. 'Trust these people Dalla, they will take care of you. Ask for me if you are worried.'

'Thank you,' the woman nodded.

Peyo nodded to Clarke again and turned to head away as Clarke walked alone through the village to where Lexa's tent had stood, the destruction of the village still obvious, everything quieter than it once had been. Two of Lexa's guards flanked the tent opening and she stood before them.

'Skaiprisa,' they practically bowed and stood aside to allow her entry without questioning her presence. She took a deep breath, aware that she would be facing the girl she once considered a friend, the girl who had enamoured her with her simultaneous compassion and fierceness, the girl who had betrayed her and her people. She walked in with her head held high, though she momentarily wished for her dagger to be in her hand so she could hold it to the Commanders throat. Lexa was sat in an ornate chair, not her throne, though the seat definitely signified her power. Clarke knew she aught to be aware of all those around her, the other people that filled the small space, but for a moment she stared at the girl who had betrayed her and her people. Lexa was staring back, green eyes looking out from the black of her war paint, hair in a number of complex braids. She wore her full warrior clothes, tight pants and her buckled leather coat with her plates of armour. She looked formidable and stunning, the intricately patterned silver disc between her eyebrows adding to her beauty, to the intriguing complexity of her appearance. Clarke's heart stuttered, from nerves she assumed, but she ensured her head was held high and her expression was neutral.

'I see Clarke of the Sky People has decided to honour us with her presence,' the Commander's expression was one of cool indifference but Clarke had gotten to know her well before, or she thought she had, and there was something in the way her eyes lingered on Clarke's that took away from the neutrality she portrayed. The fact that her words were teasing Clarke found irritating considering how they had last parted.

'I assume Lincoln warned you of my impending arrival.'

'He ensured I was sent for but having just arrived I do not yet know why. I assume you have something significant to share if Indra saw fit to send for me with such urgency?'

'War,' Clarke stated bluntly. 'The Ark plan war against you. They plan war against all of you, against the entire coalition.'

'And you choose to warn us?' Lexa did not react beyond a tilt of her head as she continued to stare at Clarke. There was no teasing now, nothing beyond that fierce expression Clarke remembered so well.

'I come to fight with you. As do a hundred or so of our people. We have declared war on the Ark and will do what it takes to stop this madness.'

'You have declared war on your people?' Lexa narrowed her eyes. 'We could easily defeat them, you know?'

'They plan to use bombs, similar to those used on TonDC but more powerful. Perhaps those like they used when the world ended. So yes, we declared war on our people. They are the Ark and we are the Sky People and we will fight for the people of earth. We'll fight for you.'

'Gon we,' Lexa stated firmly as she turned to Indra, Lincoln and the two other warriors present.

'Sha Heda,' Indra nodded and led the others from the tent, despite her obvious disapproval. Lexa stood and walked towards Clarke.

'You were angry when I left you at the mountain,' she paused right in front of Clarke who resisted the urge to take a step back.

'I'm still angry and I have every right to be,' she held her chin high.

'It seems that you didn't need me or my warriors to defeat the mountain however,' Lexa tilted her head again, her eyes wide as she appraised the other girl,

'I didn't need you, no,' Clarke stared into those green eyes, hers full of defiance. 'It still would have been nice to know that my trust in you wasn't so badly misplaced.'

'My people are thankful for what you did.'

'Your people can keep their thanks over my actions. I do not wish to have thanks for the death I have inflicted. They may be thankful for lives I have saved, if they feel the need to have thanks.'

'So,' Lexa pursed her lips thoughtfully, 'you cannot trust me but you choose an alliance with me over your mother?' Her eyes were hard, as she stared relentlessly at Clarke.

'At the mountain you behaved with sanity to save your people, to lessen the spillage of your people's blood. My mother and the council would actively seek war due to a perceived threat, not an actual one. They seek to spill the blood of others and none of their own, and yet her reasons and methods aren't sane - fear drives them. I can't side with her when she's looking for power, when she seeks to kill rather than collaborate. I cannot side with her when she plans to kill the innocent because they were here first, because she does not understand the people. You know me well enough to trust my words are true.'

'And what are the terms of your involvement?' Lexa stilled in front of Clarke.

'You and I share all information. You will provide shelter and protection for those that side against the Ark. You will arm them and train them. You will support us as we seek information from those that have remained undercover at the Ark and do everything in your power to ensure that they are protected when the time comes. You will treat the sky people as _your_ people now and after we fight, from here on out we are one people, which means you cannot betray us again. You cannot betray me again.'

'I never wanted to betray you Clarke,' Lexa told her softly, putting a warm hand on Clarke's forearm causing her heart rate to spike which was ridiculous because Clarke refused to be intimidated by this girl, this girl who ran away from a fight and left her to bring down the mountain alone. Regardless of her brains decision her heart hammered hard and she felt stupidly hot and nervous,

'But you did,' she responded, steeling herself and tugging her arm free.

'I will do what it takes to rebuild your trust Clarke. I will start with agreeing to your terms. I will have my people organize shelter and food for the Sky People, and then when your generals arrive we will plan.'

'Thank you,' Clarke nodded and Lexa moved to the flap of her tent and spoke rapidly in Trigedeslang before coming back inside.

'Sit and rest Clarke. The old woman you arrived with is eating stew and happily awaiting the rest of your people.'

'Good,' Clarke nodded as she perched on the edge of Lexa's bed for the war table had not yet been set up. There was no way she would sit on the throne like chair. Staring at her hands she took a moment to reflect on the fact that just yesterday she had been alone and since then so much had happened. She had been reunited with her mother, declared war on the Ark, and here she was once again sat in a tent with Lexa, the Commander. She jumped a little in surprise when Lexa sat beside her.

'Are you ok Clarke?'

'I've been better,' Clarke rolled her eyes, because honestly Lexa could be a little over the top at times with her stupid questions.

'I know what happened at the mountain,' Lexa began again.

'And so do I,' Clarke muttered.

'Things like that...they change us,' Lexa began but Clarke turned to stare at her with something like disgust,

'You can save the heartfelt talk Lexa. I know that things like that change us. I was there. You weren't.'

'If you want me to apologize you will be waiting a long time,' she spoke stiffly, her back ramrod straight.

'I don't expect you to apologize,' Clarke was on her feet and pacing in front of Lexa, 'I hated you for leaving, loathed you, but I'm not stupid. I know why you left, I understand and maybe I can even admit it was the right thing, but me the person, not me the leader, I don't like you very much.'

'You don't like me?' Lexa stared at her, eyes widening ever so slightly, just perceptibly, in fact if Clarke hadn't been looking she would have missed it.

'No,' Clarke stated. 'I had thought we were friends and where I come from friends don't just abandon each other.'

'I had to do what was right for my people. I cannot behave on the whim of my heart. We may have been... _friends_...but they are my people.'

'I know that,' Clarke muttered. 'But I think you could apologize to me for being the collateral damage of your leadership.'

'So you do want an apology?' Lexa scoffed, suddenly indignant.

'Yes,' Clarke crossed her arms and glared.

'Well that won't happen. I will not apologize for the decisions I make as Commander and most especially not for those I make on the battlefield.'

'Fine. Just don't expect this alliance to be like the last. I'm not naive anymore and I will always remember what you are capable of.'

'And I will know to never underestimate you. We both have new information.'

'Heda,' Indra stood in the door to the tent, her expression dark as she stared at the two leaders glaring at one another.

'Speak,' Lexa nodded.

'The first of the sky people are arriving. I will ensure they have eaten and then we will meet. Skai Prisa, which of your people should come to the meeting?'

'Bellamy, Octavia, Miller and Lincoln. You must only speak of confidential matters with them. No one else.'

'Sha, Skai Prisa,' Indra nodded and looked to Lexa.

'We meet in an hour.'

'Sha Heda.'

XOXOXOXO 

'So you will no longer talk to me?' Lexa asked as they sat on chairs and ate around the meeting table that had been put in place.

'We will talk strategy with everyone,' Clarke focussed on eating the stew that had been brought in, stopping to drink water.

'Where did you go after the fall of the mountain?' Lexa asked.

'Why do you care?'

'I never said I cared, I just asked where...'

'It's none of your business,' Clarke snapped, losing her temper. 'What I did, where I went, how I feel, how I felt, all of it is just nothing to do with you or what is happening right now. Stick to stuff pertinent to the fight in front of us.'

'As you wish,' Lexa stared at her which Clarke ignored, choosing to eat in the subsequent silence.

XOXOXOXO 

'Bell,' Clarke caught his arm when he entered the tent, 'you had no trouble?'

'None. Hally fell and hurt her ankle but we were nearly here. Thanks for making sure they were expecting us - I think it made everyone feel better about their decision to leave the Ark.'

'Here,' Clarke gestured Octavia, Lincoln and Miller in closer. 'All that you hear in this room may only be discussed with those in this room. If you discuss it you must be absolutely sure that no one can hear. Never assume you can trust anyone,' she gave them each a look ensuring that they knew she meant both the Skaikru and Trikru. 'We trust but with caution,' she hissed and they nodded. 'Let's begin,' she turned to the table that had been set up for the meeting, taking a seat at the head of it, opposite where she knew Lexa would sit.

'To begin we must know all that you know,' Lexa ordered and Clarke nodded to Bellamy to begin. For some time he spoke and everyone listened, then Clarke spoke about her argument with the chancellor and the declaration of war if it remained the Ark's intent to bomb the Grounders.

'Do you believe that they will do this? That they would kill us all?' Indra asked after a nod from her Heda.

'I believe they will try. They are scared and as history has shown - fear drives the biggest atrocities,' Clarke stated and Lexa stared at her.

'If they have the mountain can they do it - launch the bombs?' Lexa asked.

'They have Monty - he was held in the Mountain and is familiar with the systems that control the missiles, some more deadly than that used against TonDC. I don't know who else might have the skill to use the system but it wasn't dissimilar to the Ark systems.'

'Is this Monty theirs or ours?' Lexa asked her dagger in her hand.

'Monty is loyal to Bellamy and I. He is probably one of the only people who could manage to launch the bombs for them. Though there may be others. They took him into captivity to prevent him leaving with us and we had to leave Raven, our mechanic who may be tasked with launching the bomb. She is trusted by the chancellor and is in a position where she can gain Intel but is loyal to us. Both of them must be protected at all costs.'

'I believe that we should set up a guard on the mountain immediately. Take it for ourselves,' Bellamy suggested, 'if we're there they'll have to fight us to get in.'

'Given our proximity to the mountain compared to theirs we may beat them there,' Lexa nodded her approval, 'Indra?'

'Sha, Heda?'

'Take fifty of our best warriors and ensure that you have control of the mountain. We will send reinforcements when they arrive from the clans. I want triple guards working to protect the village and I want a rider sent to all villages in proximity to the Ark. Then I want riders dispatched to each of the clans. We need the leaders and warriors here and soon.'

'Sha, Heda,' Indra bowed and left the tent.

'We need to free Monty. He can disable the bombs, wreck the system so they cannot be launched, even without him if they retake the mountain they may have success, so we need him to sabotage the system,' Clarke informed Lexa, 'and I don't like to think how they may get him to do their bidding. His best friend is still in camp.'

'And how do you suggest we free him?' Lexa and her warriors leaned forward, clearly interested.

'I don't know.'

'Well then we make a plan.'

'We can communicate with Raven. We have a radio frequency the Ark doesn't use and will use morse code. Hopefully that will allow us to plan accordingly.'

'Ok,' Lexa nodded. 'It is late, we meet again in the morning and finalize our plans.'

XOXOXOXO 

'Lexa I had an idea,' Clarke burst into the Commanders tent early the following morning, ignoring the almost protest of the guards. She held the privilege of being the Skaiprisa and she planned to take full advantage.

'Clarke,' Lexa greeted from where she was laying on her bed. Clarke ground to a halt, taken with how vulnerable and young Lexa looked as she lay resting. She pushed to sitting and looked to the space next to her. Clarke would have rathered sit at the war table but she acquiesced and sat beside the Commander who was wearing very little. 'Tell me your idea?' Lexa's voice cracked with sleep and Clarke frowned at the odd jump in her stomach. Ignoring it she persevered,

'If I created a distraction could you and your warriors free Monty? If you knew where he was? There are snipers on guard but you could enter through Raven's gate...it's a blind spot in security and Raven could switch off the electricity.'

'Of course we could rescue the boy, but what distraction do you propose making?'

'I will go to my mother to negotiate. To engage in war talks before battle commences. It will be seen as an effort to avoid conflict.'

'Will there be risk to you?' Lexa frowned and Clarke hated that she found her concern endearing, that even in her dislike of the other girl she found herself inexplicably attracted to being with her. The Commander stood and began pulling on her clothing, rinsing her face with water and using some brush and paste on her teeth.

'I highly doubt my mother will shoot me,' Clarke offered as she watched the other girl, entirely intrigued.

'And would you shoot her? Or are you a liability?' Lexa's face was blank and Clarke quickly retracted any and all thoughts of the Commander being endearing in any way.

'I came to you with the plans of the Ark. I declared war on my people. It is safe to say that I am not a liability,' she seethed desperate to punch the girl.

'So you could shoot her?' Lexa ignored her anger entirely as she attached her armour. Clarke was pretty sure very few people had witnessed the Commander as she just had - transforming from girl to the formidable Heda.

'Yes. I don't want to, but I could,' Clarke insisted truthfully.

'You are an interesting person,' Lexa walked through to the meeting area.

'Why does that sound like an insult coming from your mouth?' Clarke followed close behind and when Lexa turned unexpectedly they were much closer than Clarke anticipated, Lexa's warm sweet minty breath on her face.

'I never mean to insult you Clarke. I am always in awe of you,' she spoke softly and quietly with an intimacy that Clarke didn't understand. Her heart pounded in her ears as she stared at the commander, who's eyes bore into hers, before dropping to her lips. Clarke swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry.

'Commander, the Sky People are here,' a guard announced, his eyes flicking over both Clarke and the Commander. Lexa turned and stepped out of Clarke's body space and found her seat at the table, before digging the dagger she carried into the wood so that I rested on its tip.

'Let us hear their ideas and yours,' she announced.

XOXOXOXO 

The discussions were on going when shouts from outside drew everyone's attention. Lexa stood and marched from the tent followed by her warriors, then Clarke and hers.

'Heda, they fought us at the Mountain,' Indra was stood, holding a wound on her side, some of her warriors behind her.

'The Ark?' Clarke demanded.

'They were there already waiting for us with their weapons. They fired to kill.'

'And they will pay,' Lexa murmured darkly. Clarke moved to Indra's side,

'You were shot?'

'Yes,' the warrior hardened her expression.

'Then let me assist you. I am familiar with such wounds,' Clarke made to pull her towards the medical tent as Lexa slid an arm around her General.

'Heda?' Indra was clearly seeking Lexa's approval.

'Sha, let her help you,' Lexa helped the General onto the table as Nyko stood to assist.

'They have the Mountain Commander,' Indra stated again. 'They have it.'

'Then we will have to take it from them,' Lexa stood to full height. 'We will not let them win this fight, you can trust me on that.'

'Our death is at their fingertips,' Indra moaned as two guards held her still and Clarke sought to remove the bullet, listening all the while.

'They will hesitate while Clarke is with us. She has gifted us time.'

'And if they do not Commander?' Indra's eyes fluttered as she cried out.

'If they do not then I believe we will be too dead to worry,' Lexa's tone was blunt and Clarke's eyes flicked to meet hers which were once again fixed on the Skaiprisa.

'Monty will not do as they wish and I'm not sure the others will hesitate. It will take them time. Raven is ours and I believe Wick, the other engineer, he is fond of Raven. I don't know what lengths they will go to to gain control of the weapons and nor do I know whether the others with computer skills would manage to achieve control of the weapons for them. I do know that many of those who fell with the Ark are scared and that fear guides them.'

'We must try to free Monty then, and kill others you know with the skills needed to launch the bombs. These are our tasks. We must find out from Raven whether they are at the mountain yet. If they are then we can only achieve this by a full scale attack and if they are not then we must act fast to attack the Ark.'

'Ok,' Clarke nodded and returned her focus to Indra, listening as the Commander spoke in Trigedeslang to her wounded warrior before sweeping from the room. Clarke to a deep breath and focussed on her task.

XOXOXOXO 

'Commander,' Clarke stated as she moved freely into Lexa's tent later that night when she had finished with Indra and checked on her people. She flushed with embarrassment at the sight of Lexa stood only in her bindings and soft loose pants. Lexa turned to face her, face clean of war paint, apparently unembarrassed.

'Sha, Skaiprisa?' Lexa arched an eyebrow as if to mock Clarke's use of her title, to tease the blond girl with the use of hers. Clarke faltered, the teasing embarrassed her and she couldn't seem to drag her eyes away from Lexa's exposed skin, eyes following the tan skin, tracking the black tattoos all over it, the scars that somehow didn't detract from the perfection as she followed the dips and curves of Lexa's taut muscles. The tattoo across her ribs was intricate and Clarke was certain it covered her back but she couldn't see as Lexa had turned to face her. She followed each swirl and intricate pattern the black ink made, cheeks heating as she stared at the swell of Lexa's chest covered by her bindings. 'You may come closer if you wish to look in more detail,' Lexa stated and Clarke felt her cheeks heat even further as she dragged her eyes from Lexa's chest, entirely flustered,

'Why would I...uh...want to, uh, look closer...I have breasts myself and I...uh...'

'You were staring at my breasts?' this time Lexa actually smiled. 'I was asking about my tattoos. I thought you were staring at them,' it was a gentle unexpected tease.

'I was,' Clarke yelped, 'I thought you thought that...'

'Pleni,' Lexa stated softly with a small smile, 'you may look if you wish.'

Clarke stared at her momentarily unsure whether Lexa referred to her tattoos or her chest, but suddenly unsure whether it mattered because her expression was different to normal, warmer and less closed off. She looked beautiful with the light dancing in her eyes, her amusement at Clarke clearly apparent despite the stresses of the day. Uncertainly Clarke crossed the dirt floor to stand next to the Commander, her cheeks still red, her heart hammering brutally against her chest, but eyes inexplicably desperate to see more of the tattoos.

'May I see your back?' Clarke asked and Lexa nodded and turned. The white bindings covered some of the tattoo and Clarke was immediately frustrated with their presence because the design on Lexa's back, the swirling black lines on the tan skin, it was like a work of art and Clarke had missed art since she'd been on earth. The design covered the entire of Lexa's back, a mixture of swirls and straight lines, of arrows and nature. The majority of the design though was under the bindings and she huffed in frustration.

'What is wrong?' Lexa asked without turning.

'Your bindings are in the way,' Clarke stated and Lexa immediately began to remove them. Clarke's heart increased its furious beat and she felt a little light headed as the tent grew unbearably hot. 'Thank you,' she croaked, her voice rasping as the entire tattoo and the perfection of Lexa's back was displayed to her. It took Clarke a few moments to realize that her hands were clenched in fists at her sides with the restraint of not touching. She didn't understand why but she wanted to trail a finger over each line on Lexa's back, she wanted to feel if the Commander's skin was as soft and warm as it looked. The thoughts were confusing, but she pushed the confusion aside, with another huff of air she hadn't meant to release.

'Clarke?' Lexa questioned. 'If you plan to kill me, I suggest you get on with it.'

'Kill you?' Clarke stuttered the words in confusion.

'I have my back to you. I am aware of you warring with yourself and I can only assume it is with the desire for revenge,' Lexa did not sound overly concerned.

'We are allies,' Clarke whispered not trusting her voice. 'I do not seek to harm you, only save you all.'

'Then what causes you distress.'

'I wish to touch the lines on your back,' Clarke closed her eyes, waiting for outrage but none arrived.

'You may do so rather than suffer with restraint,' Lexa announced and Clarke drew in a ragged breath and raised a shaky pale finger to the warm skin, touching the centre of the design before following one of the lines out from the centre.

'It's beautiful,' she attempted to sound clear, calm, in control, but her voice still rasped and her words came out too quickly.

'It was designed for me when I became Heda,' Lexa stated, her breathing deeper than before and her back ramrod straight. Clarke focussed on the line, following the intricate turns and patterns it made before it dipped and curled around Lexa's ribs. Clarke hesitated, her finger stopping it's smooth trail as she became aware of soft plump flesh in her peripheral vision, so close to the top of her finger. Her hand dropped and she raised herself, suddenly aware of the manner in which she had been touching the Commander, of the intimacy and heat in the room.

'I uh...' she covered her face with her hands, not seeing Lexa reach for a tank and pull it on.

'You can uncover your eyes,' Lexa stated and Clarke did so, only to be met by the dark eyes of the Commander. 'Do not feel shame,' she told Clarke softly.

'I don't know what came over me,' Clarke admitted and although she recognized the feeling in the pit of her stomach as her hand ghosted over Lexa's skin she pretended she didn't, squashing the recognition into a box she planned never to open.

'You came to see me?'

'I saw riders come to your tent. I hoped they brought news of your armies?'

'The armies will arrive late tonight. My people make a space for them to rest. More still will arrive with the dawn. Several hundred will follow over the next few days.'

'Ok,' Clarke nodded, but hesitated to leave. There was comfort to be found in Lexa's presence despite the betrayal that still stung. It was almost as if Clarke could pretend Lexa had never walked away from her when they were together as she felt the calming strength the Commander exuded.

'Does anything more trouble you?' Lexa was once again softer, and she took a step towards Clarke, her hand reaching out and taking hers. Clarke's heart once more began to gallop and her stomach twisted. She snatched her hand from Lexa's,

'I merely worry that we shall die in our sleep.'

'You may sleep here if you prefer, then we would not die alone,' there was more to the offer than sleep, Clarke was certain, but she pushed that thought aside.

'I share a tent with Bellamy, I would not die alone,' she didn't understand her intent but she watched Lexa's reaction carefully, watched her eyes harden and her expression grow surly.

'You share with your General? You are the Skaiprisa - you should have your own tent.'

'Bellamy and I agreed. We prefer to share,' she felt a thrill run through her at the Commanders displeasure and was well aware of all her words implied, though not why it annoyed Lexa so much.

'Right,' Lexa gave a curt nod, 'Perhaps you should return to him. A warrior does not like cold furs.'

'Goodnight,' Clarke watched Lexa sit in her throne, dagger in hands. She seemed small without her armour, small, distracted and extremely angry. Her anger was obvious and made the small girl seem huge despite her dainty frame. She didn't respond to Clarke's wishes for a goodnight and so Clarke slipped from her tent and returned to the one she shared with Bellamy.


	3. Reaching a tenuous understanding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa talk about what happened at the mountain and make progress. Then Lexa gets jealous over nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some feedback would be good if you're reading. Thanks:-)

**Chapter Three**

The following morning Clarke watched the warriors arrive at camp as the sun rose. At least two hundred making camp with the one hundred who had arrived the night before. It was a lot of men and women, and she felt the stress ease some with their arrival. However, her awareness that they would probably march on the Ark or the mountain that day heightened her anxiety.

After the arrival of the armies, she had gone to the tent she shared with Bellamy. He was currently communicating with Raven, as Miller noted down pertinent information. Octavia and Lincoln were watching on, while Lexa and Indra waited impatiently. The tent was off limits to all except them, the Commander, Indra and Peyo. Bellamy put down the radio for a moment and looked to Clarke,

'Jaha is in the Mountain but your mother and Kane at the Ark. Jaha took Wick with him. Raven believes Wick to be on our side but he's hiding it well. Your mother wanted Raven to work at the Mountain, but Jaha suspects her loyalty to you. Monty is still on site at the Ark as are other technicians - apparently they feared we'd attack the mountain. They aim to move everyone else when Wick has the acid fog back online. They were unprepared for the speed with which they had to make decisions. Your arrival and declaration of war forced them to move quicker than they were expecting. They merely sent guns and enough men to hold the Mountain, and all in a big hurry. Raven said the majority remain at the Ark site. Monty is being held in the same cell where I was held.'

'Well then we have to get him out of there. If we make a full scale attack on the mountain it means nothing without Monty - he knows their systems better than anyone,' Clarke announced at once. 'But then again we don't want them fortifying the mountain further.' Lexa shook her head,

'We should wait. Tomorrow more of our army will arrive, those that travel further to get here, along with some of the clan leaders. The day after even more will arrive,' the Commander was looking at Clarke who bristled at this suggestion. Indra, who was sat, unable to move freely with her wound looked between the two girls, Miller stared steadfastly at the pad of paper while Octavia and Lincoln stood stoically along side them. Bellamy raised his eye brows at Clarke. 'We should position archers and your shooters in the trees between the Ark and the mountain and if they aim to get through before we attack then we can pick off those who carry guns.'

'If we go to the Ark now we already have an army of three hundred. We can make our point and distraction easily enough with that number. Then if we need to attack, if it comes to a fight, more warriors can join in and back us up,' Clarke stated and then frowned as Lexa shook her head again,

'That is not how wars are won Clarke,' she stated patronizingly and Clarke glared with indignation. 'I have a different plan,' she looked Clarke in the eyes, challenging the Skaiprisa who merely arched her brows, bidding her to continue. Lexa's gaze shifted to Bellamy, Miller, Octavia, Lincoln, Peyo and at last Indra. 'Only our most trusted must know. We will split into three groups. Only we shall know the details of the tasks of each in addition to two of my most trusted warriors.'

'What plan have you dreamt up?' Indra looked to her Commander with pride - clearly the need for secrecy reassured Indra that the plan would be good. Clarke rolled her eyes.

'Today we place a hundred warriors in the trees between the Ark and the mountain. We must keep some of our best shooters, but this gonakru will prevent the exile of those from the Ark to the Mountain before we can retrieve Monty, and if they try to move him they will take him from them. Once the Ark people are all inside the mountain our attack will be harder, especially if they have successfully accessed the missiles. We want their people on the outside so they are at risk, and to prevent them from using their missiles. Next, tomorrow, when more of our armies have arrived we split our remaining gonakru into three groups. We will then simultaneously attack both the Ark and the Mountain. The first group led by Indra will contain sky trained gunmen and our remaining archers to take out the guns on the doors of the mountain from a distance. Once they are down you will take the mountain with hand to hand combat. Clarke will lead the second army to the gates of the Ark. You will say you are there to formally declare war, as per the traditions and rules of the Trikru and the coalition clans dictate. Offer them a chance to surrender peacefully to limit the loss of life. There will be sanctions and penalties for their intended actions but they will not pay with their lives if they choose to surrender. You will have an army at your back Clarke. Will that be acceptable?'

'More than acceptable,' Clarke nodded, impressed with Lexa's plan. 'I do not fear for my life yet though if my mother chooses to persevere with this course of action, I know that the gap between us will be too wide to breach. Will you attempt to find Monty?'

'Yes. Do you permit Bellamy to come with me for this mission?'

'Of course,' Clarke looked to Bellamy who gave her a nod.

'There is risk involved. If we are caught inside their compound we will be killed.'

'Then you mustn't be caught,' Clarke stated. 'We will dress you in my clothing from the Ark so you blend in Lexa, and Bellamy needs a hat, some sort of scarf to cover his face. You need to act like you belong, so basically look cold, hungry and miserable.'

'Is that how the people are?' Lexa tilted her head.

'Yes,' Clarke nodded.

'Then you must ask Raven to find away to spread rumours of the Trikru camp, about life in it during peace times, or for those who are not warriors. Our punishments may be harsh, but for those who do not harm others life has peace.'

'That's a good idea,' Clarke nodded, and Bellamy began to tap out a message to Raven so she was aware of the plan. 'Make sure we know how many are guarding Monty and if any are working for us,' Clarke told him.

'Miller will use the radio to communicate with Raven and we will have more warriors in the trees around the entire perimeter of the Ark. We will leave tomorrow at midday when the Warriors have eaten and rested,' Lexa announced. 'We need to ensure your guns have bullets to fire, and that your people will work with my archers. Indra, the gona you choose for the trees must be given provisions, instructions and go. They shoot only those who are armed, and they bring leaders to me. The others need to be training,' she said the latter to Indra who nodded, 'Lincoln, Octavia, you will lead the attack in the mountain with Peyo. Indra, you will guide their plans for battle.'

'I can fight Heda,' Indra argued.

'I know you can, but I need you to stay alive and coordinate everyone. Can you do that from a horse?'

'Yes.'

'Then fight only if you must. Lincoln and Octavia can be you on the ground.'

'Sha Heda,' Lincoln and Octavia nodded and Clarke could tell how pleased Octavia was.

'When you take the mountain you must ensure you have warriors on each entry and exit and that the attack is simultaneous on each. Take out those that guard with sky people guns. Limit the blood loss of our people. You attempt to get into the control room, but you ensure that the Ark cannot retake the mountain from us. That means an outer patrol, an inner patrol and several guards outside each entrance and inside each entrance, and more outside the control room.'

'Sha Heda,' Lincoln nodded again, as did Indra and Octavia.

'Gon we, Indra put the groups together and will make sure they obey your command. I will be there soon. You speak details to no one only those in this tent or you risk death by my sword.'

Octavia nodded and with a quick nod in Clarke's direction she left with the others.

'Come,' Lexa tipped her head to the door, and she and Clarke left Bellamy and Miller to their work. They walked in silence through camp to Lexa's tent. Clarke followed the Commander inside. 'Are you happy with the plan?'

'You'll work with Lincoln, Octavia and Peyo to ensure the attack on the mountain is well coordinated?'

'You do not trust Octavia?' Lexa's brow furrowed. 'Or Indra?'

'Indra is injured and I know that pain can blur our heads. I don't know Peyo well enough, I trust him because you do. Lincoln can fight but prefers to help. I do trust Octavia, entirely, but she can be spontaneous and a little too impetuous. She will take her role seriously, but she is inexperienced and I would rather she benefit from your guidance. I do not fear for you when you ride into battle.'

'You don't?' Lexa looked up from the map of the mountain she had laid on the table.

'I can't imagine anyone beating you,' Clarke shrugged.

'So you do not fear my life will be lost?' Lexa did that thing where she tilted her head to the side and as always Clarke got the impression she was trying to figure her out.

'You are always so sure of yourself and I've seen you fight. You're incredible,' Clarke closed her eyes for a second and remembered how Lexa fought at the mountain. It had been as if she were unbeatable no matter what came at her.

'I fight for my people and I accept that one day my spirit will be released from my body. I do not fear it. It makes my actions strong and sure.'

'And that is why I don't fear for you when you ride into battle,' Clarke opened her eyes to find Lexa closer than she had been.

'Because you know my spirit will find a new home upon its release?'

'No, because I just don't believe you can die. You're too stubborn, too determined.'

'One might say the same of you Clarke, but I fear for you _every_ time.'

'Apparently you don't fear for my life enough to stay by my side and fight,' Clarke stated pointedly and Lexa turned her back on her.

'I wish you to always be breathing Skaiprisa.'

'You say that like you think I desire your death. I don't wish you to be harmed, I merely stated that I don't believe it will happen,' Clarke fixed Lexa with a look that spoke to the truth of this statement as the other girl turned back to face her.

'Is there not some part of you that would like to kill me for my betrayal?'

'I've already told you that all I desire is an apology Lexa. But you seem unable to give me one,' Clarke was becoming irritated.

'I won't apologize for the decision I made that stopped the spillage of my people's blood and assured their freedom,' Lexa stepped up to Clarke, her face a mask of stoicism.

'I know that,' Clarke growled, 'that's the whole problem. That's why I dislike you, because you can't accept that while you did the right thing for your people you did the wrong thing for mine, and for me. And we were friends Lexa. I thought that we...god, that we understood each other, and for betraying that which was between us you _should_ be sorry.'

'Clarke,' Lexa looked stunned, an expression Clarke had never seen on her face before - she was always so certain of herself. 'I lead with my head. I have to. We both have to. My heart desired to stay with you and I am very sorry that I could not listen to it,' she reached out a hand and cool slim fingers took hold of the blond girls hand, her thumb brushing over the smooth skin on the back of her hand. Clarke stared in surprise, unable to think of any words to say, heat pooling in her stomach that made her flustered.

'Wow, an apology,' she mumbled at last, whipping her hand from Lexa's in the hopes that she could clear her head and think.

'I'm not sorry I saved my people, that I made the deal, but I hated walking away from you and I am sorry for the pain it caused you,' Lexa did that thing where she stared into her eyes and then dropped her gaze to her lips. It made Clarke's pulse race and she couldn't understand why she was so captivated by this girl. It was as if even in her hatred and anger she was enthralled by her. But now she couldn't hate her, because she was sorry, and the Commander being sorry meant more than anyone else's version of sorry.

'Thank you,' Clarke croaked the words and this time when Lexa took her hand she squeezed her fingers back. Clarke was shocked when Lexa smiled,

'I am glad we are friends,' she stated.

'As am I,' Clarke shrugged. 'Now let's plan the numbers for each entrance to the mountain and then I'll go fetch my clothes for you. The pants may not fit, and it's best we know today rather than tomorrow.'

'Of course,' Lexa didn't release her hand and led her to the maps on the table.

XOXOXOXO 

Clarke entered Lexa's tent without protest from her guards, her sky clothes clasped in her hands, she placed them on a box as she entered. Lexa, Indra, Lincoln, Peyo and Octavia were examining the maps of the mountain, with Bellamy and Miller stood back from the table but listening in as they debated numbers and leaders for each group.

'Clarke,' Lexa looked at her for a long moment before returning her attention to the others. Clarke moved across the tent to stand next to Bellamy.

'How's it going?' she asked in a low voice, her mouth close to his ear so as not to interrupt the discussions. He gave her a look,

'She knows her stuff,' he told her, somewhat grudgingly, a small smile on his face.

'Yeah,' Clarke agreed. 'Then again she's been fighting since she was a kid.'

'How old was she when she became Commander?' Bellamy spoke in a hushed voice that matched hers, turning his body to Clarke, his mouth next to her ear, a hand on her arm.

' _En pleni_ ,' Lexa's harsh call came as her dagger struck the post above their heads, digging into the wood with the force at which she'd thrown it. Several people gasped and the tent fell to silence. Clarke and Bellamy turned to stare at her furious face, bewildered,

'What the hell did you do that for?' Clarke met her fury head on, pulling her own dagger from it's sheath on her belt.

'You cannot come into a war room and whisper together. Save your whispers for when you lie together at night,' Lexa fumed, the embodiment of rage,

'We were merely talking about the fact that you seem to know what you're talking about,' Clarke yelled, unaware of the others taking a step back.

'I do know what I'm talking about,' Lexa yelled back coldly, 'and I know well enough that when people whisper secretively during war talks it makes others suspicious.'

'After our talk earlier you really don't trust me?' Clarke was outraged and she surged towards the Commander, ' _you_ , the committer of ultimate betrayals, doesn't trust _me_?'

'How can I trust you when you're so angry at me?' Lexa became calm and it further enraged Clarke.

'You can trust me because I came to you about all this,' Clarke gestured around them. 'You know that I wouldn't betray you because the stakes are too damn high. And I am not that person.'

'People do all sorts of things when they are angry,' Lexa stated and Clarke wanted to punch her.

'Is it my anger that makes me want to punch you?' Clarke asked patronizingly and Indra stepped between them, sword drawn, apparently confident she could take the Skaiprisa even with her injury.

'Hod op,' Lexa cautioned her General. 'Gon we.'

'Heda,' Indra protested but Lexa silenced her with a hand.

'Gon we,' she repeated loudly and fixed them all with a thunderous look, 'go,' she ordered in English. Indra grumbled but ushered Lincoln, Octavia, Miller, Peyo and Bellamy from the tent, leaving only Clarke stood glaring at Lexa with her dagger drawn. 'You want to punch me?' Lexa asked.

'Yes,' Clarke took another step towards Lexa.

'Do it,' Lexa shrugged. Clarke didn't hesitate to throw her dagger on the table, draw back her fist and punch Lexa hard. It wasn't as satisfying as if Lexa had been resisting or had flinched but she followed it up with a second punch to the Commander's stupid face.

'You done?' Lexa asked, apparently unaffected by Clarke's fist.

'Not nearly,' Clarke punched her again resisting the urge to pull her hair because it was infuriating how little effect she had on the Commander who didn't wince or react despite the blood coming from her nose, and the new cut on her cheek. 'React,' Clarke yelled at her.

'What would you have me do Clarke?'

'Anything. Don't just stand there,' Clarke pushed against her shoulders, surprised by the strength the slight girl had when she didn't move back.

'You want me to react?' Lexa glowered, pushing Clarke against the central column of the tent, her forearm placed across her chest, holding her still. 'You cannot whisper in your lovers ear when we discuss war. People have been killed over less,' green eyes narrowed as Lexa's warm, fresh breath floated over her face.

'You act like I should just get over your betrayal and yet you overreact about the stupidest things,' Clarke huffed, breathing difficult with adrenelin from the fight and anger pulsing through her. She felt Lexa's proximity keenly and it was causing her heart to hammer in anticipation.

'I would rather that I overreact than you do something so stupid in front of someone who doesn't know you like I do.'

'So you were making a point?' Clarke asked furiously.

'You are a leader and if the people think you are acting with your heart they will not follow you. I only seek to protect you,' Lexa growled her arm still not allowing Clarke any movement.

'You think you know everything,' Clarke seethed.

'I know that you may get yourself killed if you don't think about your actions and how they might be seen.'

'I was talking to a friend,' Clarke spat.

'You whispered in the ear of your lover at a war meeting.'

'Why the hell do you keep calling him my lover?' Clarke asked though she knew she had insinuated it, or that something was happening between she and Bellamy.

'You share a tent and I know he means more to you than others,' Lexa increased the pressure of her arm and Clarke felt hot with indignation, because even if they were lovers she shouldn't be judged for it.

'So what if we are lovers?'

'Then save the sweet nothings for when you lie together at night.'

'Sweet nothings?' Clarke frowned, unable to understand the phrase Lexa had used and finding it irritating.

'Words of love,' Lexa growled.

'You threw a dagger at us because you were angry we were whispering words of love?' Clarke pushed at Lexa's arm, though she couldn't move it.

'You lead your people and you wish mine to respect you. They will not respect you when you display such weakness before them. They will not trust that you will do for them what you would do for him.'

'You're angry at me,' Clarke stared at Lexa, suddenly calm despite the thudding of her heart, calm at the realization that for once the Commander wasn't being rational because she and Bellamy were only friends and even if they weren't, Lexa knew Clarke would never favour him, not after sending him into Mount Weather,

'Yes I'm angry at you,' Lexa shoved her against the pole. 'When you risk death because you can't control yourself...'

'Can't control myself?' Clarke's voice was low, dangerous. 'Can't control myself?'

'You will end up dead.'

'No I won't,' Clarke yelled, 'and most especially not for speaking a quiet word in my generals ear.'

'But he is not just your general,' Lexa released her, her hands balling into fists.

'No, he's my best friend,' using her sudden freedom Clarke slapped Lexa hard around the face.

'If you keep hitting me, I shall hit you back,' she had Clarke's wrists in her hands so fast Clarke didn't register it happen, Lexa's body tight against hers as her back once again hit the central post of the tent. 'And when I hit, it hurts,' her eyes stared into Clarke's, cold and unforgiving.

'Are you angry I have a lover?' Clarke asked trying to understand what was happening.

'You may lie with as many as you like and I do not care,' Lexa growled.

'Then stop this ridiculousness. We spoke of nothing but your skill in military tactics.'

'And why could this not be spoken aloud?' Lexa asked.

'Because I didn't wish to interrupt,' Clarke stated. 'We are wasting time Lexa.' Clarke watched the girl close her eyes, her hands still holding her wrists.

'Fine,' Lexa released her and turned away from Clarke. 'Gon we.'

'Lexa we still have to discuss...'

'Gon we,' her voice was louder and her guards appeared in the tent, clearly prepared to remove Clarke if she did not leave.


	4. The Commanders tent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the dagger throwing incident Lexa calls Clarke to her tent in order to clear the air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not gonna lie - I'd love some feedback:-)

**Chapter Four**

'Heda asks for you,' the guard came late in the evening when Clarke lay mentally preparing herself for the following day. Bellamy, lying on his bed, shot her a questioning glance,

'You ok to go?' It wasn't a strange question considering the Commander had been throwing daggers earlier.

'The Commander doesn't scare me,' Clarke shrugged. 'Though I'm not sure I want to see her.' She hadn't given him details of their argument after the dagger throwing, but she knew Bellamy and the others were intimidated by Lexa, as was the Commander's intent. Well Clarke refused to be intimidated. She stood, regardless of the fact that she'd rather stay where she was, and began to follow the obviously impatient guard from their tent.

'Princess,' Bellamy's call halted her despite the guard's loud tsk. He beckoned her closer,

'What?'

'The Commander...' Bellamy trailed off, his voice hushed, 'I think she... _likes_ you.'

'I think you're deluded,' Clarke responded quickly because there was no way. 'She thinks you and I are in a relationship anyway.'

'She does? Why?' Bellamy frowned.

'I may have insinuated it to make her mad. The fact that we share a tent supports it.'

'And why would it make her mad?' Bellamy asked pointedly.

'Lexa likes focus...' Clarke began but Bellamy gave an amused smile,

'Yeah focussing on you.'

'This is neither the time or place for this,' Clarke huffed and turned to leave.

XOXOXOXO 

Clarke entered Lexa's tent without announcing her presence. Lexa was stood in Clarke's sky people clothes, except for a different pair of pants, probably because she had a different shape. It was odd to see the leader of the twelve clan coalition in clothes that were so at odds with who she was as a person. Clarke found her eyes trailing the tall, slim figure. She looked unthreatening, like any other sky girl, pretty -gorgeous really - like someone she might meet in the mess hall of the Ark.

'Clarke,' Lexa didn't turn but was apparently aware of Clarke's presence.

'You sent for me?'

'We leave in the morning. How do I wear my hair?'

'Your hair? Anyone could have helped you with your hair,' Clarke huffed indignantly. 'Anyone other than me.'

'It is our tradition to wear braids when we go into battle, and yet I do not think Ark tradition has braids. I would like a braid in my hair concealed in a way that will not raise suspicion,' Lexa ignored Clarke's protest.

'Octavia could have helped you,' Clarke crossed her arms. 'And Octavia was not punching you only hours ago, nor being yelled at unreasonably by you, nor having a dagger thrown at her.'

'I do not care for Octavia's help,' Lexa told her as she weaved further into her tent. Bellamy's words flew through Clarke's head but she pushed them out as absurdity, following Lexa.

'Fine, I'll help you.'

'It is not just for your help that I called you here.'

'So why did you call me here. I was in bed, you know,' Clarke glared at her.

'I did not wish to interrupt your time with Bellamy,' Lexa averted her eyes, 'but nor do I wish to go into a situation tomorrow where we must rely on each other with things as they are between us. That could lead to error.'

'Well no, I suppose that is not wise,' Clarke conceded her point, uncrossing her arms in a bid to look less defensive. 'Look, I'll show you how to do your hair but I'm not sure I have the energy for your style of heart to heart,' Clarke didn't quite understand her own actions as she crossed the room apparently eager to actually do Lexa's hair for her even though she could easily describe to Lexa how to wear it. She pushed away thoughts of why she wanted to touch the other girls brown locks, and allowed herself to move closer in an attempt to mend the cavern of misunderstanding and anger between them.

'Thank you,' Lexa seemed just as surprised and stared at her as she moved to sit on her bed. Clarke hesitated, her skin flushing at her own eagerness but determined to see it through. It was just that Lexa's hair could be done sat on a chair at the war table and not in the intimate location of her sleeping area. 'I am tired,' Lexa explained at Clarke's questioning glance over the location choice and Clarke nodded mutely. She kicked off her boots out of courtesy before climbing onto Lexa's bed behind the other girl. It was nothing she wouldn't do with Octavia or Raven, though it felt inexplicably different. This wasn't a girl from the Ark, or even a friend - this was the Commander of the twelve clans sat before her, submissive. A surge of power, a thrill, shot through Clarke as she knelt behind Lexa on soft furs.

'Do you have a brush?' she asked and Lexa hesitated as if translating the word.

'Sha,' she handed Clarke something that resembled a comb and Clarke hesitated for a moment before she began combing the knots from dark tresses, her hands sure but gentle. 'I am sorry,' Lexa stated at length and Clarke ceased her movements. 'For earlier. I feared for you and I behaved badly.'

'You're apologizing again?' Clarke paused, uncertain what this meant. The Commander was not a person who had to apologize for her actions and yet this was the second time Clarke had been on the receiving end of one of her apologies.

'Yes,' she said simply a soft sigh escaping her. Clarke liked the sound and because that felt odd, she resumed her brushing,

'Why?'

'I was angry,' Lexa admitted, reaching back a hand and stilling Clarke's hand with her own for a moment, 'I feared that your concern for Bellamy may lead to an avoidable mistake, one that results in harm.'

'I assure you I would do nothing to risk him, or you, or any of the people that fight for us.'

'But Clarke, at times you do risk yourself. I have seen it before several times,' Lexa's voice was soft, honest. 'And I do not wish for you to come to harm.'

'Right,' Clarke had no response because Lexa was right about her risking herself.

'I fear that for his safety you may risk yourself, as you did for the boy Finn.'

'I would give my life for Bellamy's,' Clarke stated and Lexa turned to face her, her expression one of pure rage, her hands balled into angry fists.

'Then you risk us all.'

'Wait Lexa,' Clarke reached out and caught a balled up fist, 'I would give my life for you too. It is who I am to sacrifice myself for others, right or wrong, but on our mission tomorrow I'll have in my head everything that matters. I will only ever do what is necessary for the success of our mission.'

'I saw with Finn that when you love someone you will do more than what is necessary,' Lexa stated.

'Lexa, Bellamy and I are just friends. We share our tent as friends. Our relationship is the same as my relationship with Octavia, though we are perhaps a little closer. We lead our people together. I'm not in love with him,' she watched a myriad of expressions cross Lexa's usually unreadable face, before the mask was back in place,

'Oh,' Lexa held her chin high as if she were trying to portray her strength and disinterest in such revelations. Clarke shrugged,

'I'm only telling you because it seems like it matters?'

'Only in relation to your focus,' Lexa stated coolly.

'Then be assured that my focus is good and sit still,' Clarke tugged her back down to the bed by the balled up fist she still held in her hand. Lexa sat, her back facing Clarke. In a silence that was heated for reasons Clarke didn't understand she braided Lexa's soft hair, a braid stating at the right side of her forehead and curling around her skull. Lexa handed her a piece of leather and Clarke tied the braid at the bottom. 'You look like a sky girl now,' she smiled. Lexa stood and stared in the mirror she had beside a basin of water.

'This is how you wear braids?' she returned to the bed and sat beside Clarke.

'Yes, one instead of many, though younger girls sometimes wear two - one on either side of their heads.'

'Only our warriors wear braids,' Lexa told her and she smiled,

'I know.'

'Will you do my hair tomorrow before battle?' Lexa asked and the question felt loaded though Clarke didn't know why.

'If you would like me to,' she nodded. 'I should go.'

'Stay a while,' Lexa demanded but it came across needier than was usual and so Clarke crossed her legs as she decided to stay.

'Ok, but I am not responsible if I fall asleep - I'm very tired.'

'I do not mind if you fall asleep,' Lexa shrugged, shifting on the bed until she was leaning against the headboard set at one end, significantly closer to Clarke than she had been, so close Clarke felt her skin tingle and heat up where their bodies touched.

'I'm still mad you threw a dagger at me,' Clarke announced into the silence.

'It wouldn't have hit you,' Lexa told her dismissive of her anger.

'You were angry,' Clarke began.

'As I have admitted. We have discussed why...'

'No, I meant that when we are angry we aren't always in control.'

'My accuracy is not affected by my emotions. And maybe...maybe my actions were caused by an emotion other than anger?' Lexa posed the thought as if it were merely a musing.

'What emotion?' Clarke frowned.

'Maybe I was jealous,' Lexa through out as if she were guessing herself.

'Jealous? Of what?' Clarke turned to stare at Lexa's perfect profile.

'Maybe I would like you to whisper in my ear?' Lexa arched an eyebrow, apparently teasing judging by her expression of amusement. She actually laughed at the way Clarke visibly flustered, brushing her hair from her face and shifting on the bed so she was leaning fully against the same headboard as Lexa, a little more space between their bodies as she tucked her hands into her sleeves.

'You're teasing me,' she accused.

'Maybe I don't want the betrayal that you feel between us any longer. Maybe I wish to be close as we were before the battle of Mount Weather,' again Lexa looked needier than Clarke was used to seeing her.

'We'll get there,' Clarke pursed her brow. 'We are getting there. But perhaps you should stop throwing daggers when you get cross...or jealous.'

'And perhaps you should stop punching me in the face, sha?' Lexa gave her a pointed look, a hint of amusement, and Clarke found her eyes appraising the perfect, smooth skin of Lexa's face for damage. There was a small cut on her cheekbone, and little swelling.

'It doesn't seem to have hurt you much,' she shrugged.

'No, it didn't. I feel you need some training,' Lexa smirked.

'I managed to beat Anya,' Clarke pointed out, put out by Lexa's amusement.

'You bested her in a physical fight?' the Commander clearly didn't believe it and Clarke felt more offended.

'Yes. After I helped her escape Mount Weather - by jumping off that damn. We worked together, then she left me, then helped me, only to take me prisoner, but I used one of the Maumon's darts on her and dragged her to the drop ship where she attacked me again. We had a fight and I won. Obviously before we made peace.'

'Ok,' Lexa hid her amusement behind her hand.

'What? What's so amusing to you?' Clarke glared.

'Well she had been kept in a cage? You escaped a mountain, jumped off a dam, you gave her a tranquilizer...you best her in a fight but not a fair one.'

'Any fight with an enemy is a fair fight,' Clarke felt her cheeks burn.

'Clarke, don't be embarrassed,' a cool hand touched her cheek and Lexa's eyes softened, 'Anya was a fierce warrior, feared by our enemies, to best her in any fight, fair or not, is something to be proud of.'

'We made our peace so I care not if I won only by luck, it still remains the only fight I've won.'

'As you say luck is inconsequential, if you won, you won. And you also won against the mountain Clarke.'

'Yes,' Clarke nodded, now able to talk of the mountain and not think only of death but also the life she gave back to so many, 'and now I have to win against the mountain again. It doesn't seem fair.'

'Much of life on earth doesn't seem fair,' for a moment Lexa's eyes clouded over and for a few moments there was silence.

'I should go,' Clarke began to move from the bed, realizing how weird it was to be sat there with the Heda, but Lexa's hand caught her arm,

'Ste,' she looked at Clarke with clear green eyes, 'beja,' and something twisted inside the sky leader, a strange feeling of disquiet and desperation that she didn't understand.

'So you do not wish to die alone, if the missiles come?' she teased softly and loved the pink that rose to Lexa's cheeks.

'I do not wish for you to go,' she answered instead. 'Friends can be close, sha? Like you and Bellamy.'

'I can sleep here if you wish,' Clarke offered and Lexa nodded.

'Beja.'

Clarke was tired and Lexa's bed was comfy and warm, and though it was a weird thought, the thought of sleeping next to the fearsome girl wasn't an awful thought. She peeled off her thicker top and her pants leaving her in her tank and underwear. She felt a little vulnerable but she wasn't sleeping in uncomfortable clothing, not on the eve of a battle when sleep was important. She looked at Lexa who was staring at her, eyes wide as they roved over her body, heating the skin they caressed. 'Is this ok? You asked me to stay, and if I'm to sleep I need to be comfortable?' she mumbled, nervous.

'That's fine,' Lexa averted her eyes abruptly and stood to undress. She peeled off Clarke's jacket, her pants and top until she was stood in bindings and her underwear. Her body was phenomenal and Clarke bit back a mixture of jealousy and the desire to touch. Every muscle screamed of strength and agility, and looked breathtaking under tan skin. Yet again she was mesmerized by the lines of black ink across smooth battle scarred skin. After a second Lexa pulled on thin short pants and began to unbind her chest. Clarke couldn't seem to tear her eyes from Lexa, from the slow unwinding of the material.

'Is it comfortable?' she asked and Lexa turned her head, a frown on her features. 'The binding?' Clarke clarified her eyes fixated on the movement of Lexa's hands.

'More so than your sky bindings,' Lexa tsked, her eyes taking in Clarke's appraisal of her.

'We call them bras,' Clarke couldn't help the small laugh, but her laugh died when the bindings dropped and she was staring at smooth skin, plump and round with darkened nipples. She sucked in a breath and tried, but failed, to drag her eyes from Lexa wondering what was wrong with her that she couldn't stop staring and wanting to touch skin so soft it contrasted wildly with the harsh Commander. Lexa arched an eyebrow at Clarke, who flushed wildly and looked away at the realization that she'd been caught staring, 'I should go,' she mumbled, flustered but Lexa dropped to the bed, still topless and tilted her head to one side as she appraised the flushed Skaiprisa. Clarke tried to stare at Lexa's face but her eyes dropped once more, and she blamed the other girls proximity, her powerful presence.

'I can help you try our bindings if you wish,' she offered and Clarke squeezed her eyes shut, 'Clarke?'

'You're very naked,' Clarke offered uncertainly and sensed Lexa lay back on the bed,

'Does that bother you?' Lexa asked. 'At night I like to lie free of clothes because I spend so much time tightly bound.'

'I'm not used to it,' Clarke muttered.

'You sky people seem to find stress in simple things,' Lexa mused, watching as Clarke's eyes opened.

'This feels more intimate than friendship,' she admitted, her eyes once again dropping to defined abs, smooth skin and God, that chest. She ripped them up to Lexa's face, her skin feeling hotter than ever.

'I shall put on a shirt,' Lexa stated, 'you seem so nervous it is fun to tease you,' Clarke watched Lexa pull on a soft tank, covering all that she wished she could still see, then the Commander was laying back down beside her.

'So you don't normally sleep unclothed?' Clarke was cross in her embarrassment.

'Actually I do - when I am intimate with a girl,' Lexa lay down and stared up at Clarke who remained seated, her expression fixed.

'But we are friends?' Clarke didn't even know why she was asking when clearly they were not intimate.

'Yes,' Lexa agreed, 'Come and sleep,' she encouraged and Clarke slumped down in the bed, a bed far superior to any bed she'd slept in since arriving on earth or even in the sky. Her muscles relaxed into the soft warmth and she didn't protest when Lexa's legs tangled with hers, even though it made her heart race which in turn made sleep impossible. Clarke stared at the the darkened tent, then turned her head and stared at the Commander. Her dark hair was still in its braid, her face clear of war paint and decoration. She looked young and beautiful, so effortlessly perfect with her arched cheekbones, her small nose and those lips, God her lips were beautiful, perfectly plump and they called to Clarke though she didn't quite get why. Lexa's eyes opened, looking shiny in the darkness, not their usual emerald green. 'Close your eyes Clarke, so we can be ready for battle.'

'I find it hard...to relax in your bed,' she mumbled.

'You do?' Lexa seemed oddly pleased and Clarke frowned,

'It's very hot and...' she didn't know how to describe her racing heart and clammy palms.

'Do you wish to return to Bellamy?' Lexa seemed to edge closer.

'No,' she hadn't meant to be so immediate with her response, but again Lexa seemed pleased.

'Relax,' she reached out a hand and tucked a strand of Clarke's golden hair behind her ear, running her hand gently over her head a couple of times. Clarke's heart raced harder and faster at the soothing gesture.

'I can't,' Clarke admitted.

'Do you fear for the morning?' Lexa's voice was so soft, so warm and caring which was simply not how she usually was. Clarke felt a yearning for the girl beside her when she spoke like this, a desire to melt into her and soak up everything she had to offer. She felt enraptured by the girl who could rule so many, who could be harsh and fierce, who made grown men quake in fear, and yet could speak with such care to her.

'I don't know,' she stuttered. 'I feel our plan is good but I'm hot, and my heart races and my palms sweat and I just...'

'Take deep breaths,' Lexa told her, and Clarke gasped as her cool palm was placed beside her breast and over her heart. 'Shall I remove some furs?' she was so close and her palm, despite its cool temperature, burned into her skin.

'No,' her voice rasped and God she needed something but just couldn't say what it was. She didn't want Lexa to move but thought she might combust if Lexa stayed as close as she was. It was heady and intoxicating and something she couldn't understand at all. Lexa spread her fingers and the strong, thin digits brushed up against the swell of Clarke breast and a strangled noise escaped her throat, a gasp, a sigh, a sound swallowed into the heat around her.

'It will be ok,' Lexa soothed her hand running up Clarke's body, to cup her neck, fingers pushing into the hair at the nape. They were so close, so close that Clarke could see shiny eyes and feel warm breath, and smell the fresh scent that seemed to come off of Lexa, that seemed to wrap around her and intoxicate her. Clarke wanted to shout that this wasn't nerves over the battle they would rage on the morrow, but she wasn't sure what it was, what was happening to her that would make her mind cloud and her body tremble, a heady need within her for what she wasn't even sure, just that being near Lexa both fulfilled the need and exasperated it. She stared at the Commander, soft and warm and so unlike the Commander that everyone else saw and found her hand moving to rest in her sculptured jaw, her thumb tracing over one arched cheekbone.

'Sorry,' she whispered suddenly aware of the intimate caress, snatching her hand from Lexa's face, shocked at herself.

'Do not be sorry,' Lexa also whispered, as if loud voices would break the intimacy and it _was_ intimate, more intimate than any moment Clarke had experienced in her life before then. 'I like you touching me.'

'You do?' Clarke asked with surprise which was probably misplaced because Lexa was indeed tactile with her.

'I like to touch you too,' Lexa smiled, an expression Clarke could only just make out in the darkness.

'What does that mean?' the question came out far more loaded than she intended so she was surprised by Lexa's small laugh,

'It means that I like to touch you,' to emphasize her point her hand slid to Clarke's waist beneath the covers, and sought bare skin under her top, her slim fingers grazing warmth, brushing up and across her ribs where it was splayed, soldering the silk of pale skin.

'I still feel angry with you,' Clarke breathed the words into charged air, the fear of impending battle, the power of the girl beside her, her loneliness and regrets all serving to increase the electric buzz in the air between them. But it was more than that. Clarke couldn't deny that Lexa intrigued her, everything from her brutality to her compassion, her beauty to the way she'd look at Clarke, eyes wide and gentler somehow than when she looked at others.

'You may feel angry,' Lexa permitted as she swirled her fingers in a caress across ribs. Clarke felt her heart stutter and her body reel physically from the sensation. It felt divine, heat surging, her stomach flipping and the pulse between her legs beating strongly.

'This is not how friends behave,' she offered weakly as Lexa's fingers continued their soft caress brushing erratically against the underside of her breast. 'Lexa,' the Commanders name was more of a breathy sigh, and it only encouraged the movements of her fingers, until her whole warm palm was cupping her breast, squeezing gently. 'Lexa,' the name was a plea and Clarke had no idea whether she wanted Lexa to stop whatever she'd started or continue.

'Friends can behave this way Clarke,' Lexa whispered, her breath floating across Clarke's face as she leaned closer, ever closer and Clarke wanted it, yearned for the press of beautiful plump lips against hers and she wasn't disappointed because the second the connected with hers, it was as though the world suddenly shifted into focus, as if suddenly Clarke could sense the whole earth within the kiss between her and the Commander. She found a soft moan rise unbidden from within her, Lexa meeting the sound with one of her own, a hum as she rolled her body half onto Clarke, a strong thigh slipping between the sky girls legs, pressing as she kissed Clarke harder, the kiss deepening with her tongue seeking Clarke's, tangling them together as she then rocked into the girl beneath her. Clarke was a mess, a needy, desire driven mess and her hands clawed at Lexa, trying to tug her closer, leg wrapping around her to pull her more tightly into her, to encourage her to rock again and build on the delectable feeling the movement created. But instead of yielding to Clarke's need, Lexa slowed the kiss, and she didn't acquiesce to her desperate need to have her rock against her again. She pulled her lips from Clarke's despite the Sky girls hands in her hair and clear desire to keep kissing.

'We must sleep,' she whispered and rolled off of Clarke and onto her back pulling the other girl against her, allowing her head to rest on her chest. 'Are you more calm?'

'Uh, no...' Clarke rolled from her arms, pushing away from Lexa despite her desire to stay and staring at her with extreme frustration.

'Have I offended you?' Lexa seemed honestly at a loss, and if anything slightly miffed that Clarke had put distance between them.

'You kissed me,' she stated and Lexa nodded,

'Indeed.'

'And touched me...'

'We established that I like to touch you and it seemed to me that you like me touching you too,' Lexa had rolled onto her side and with her hair pulled from its braid by Clarke's eager hands, looking like some silken halo, she appeared to be a goddess not unlike those in the myths Bellamy had told her.

'But why?' Clarke growled out in exasperation wanting nothing more than to roll her body on top of Lexa's and kiss her forever. It didn't make any sense. This girl had betrayed her, left her to what should have been a certain death and yet somehow Clarke remained in awe of her, enthralled by her steel and her softness. She should hate this girl, she had committed to hating her, to despising her and yet they had a common goal, an enemy for them to unite against once more and everything that had captivated her in the run up to their fight against the mountain, captivated her once more. Lexa intrigued her and it seemed that she intrigued Lexa, but why? And what did it mean? Did it mean anything? Was Clarke a warm body with which Lexa could let off steam on the eve of battle? Was that what Lexa was to her? Or were they just friends who flirted with the boundaries.

'Well I can only answer for me,' Lexa mocked softly, 'I like to touch you because you have golden hair and eyes like the sky on a warm sunny day. Your skin is soft and warm and appealing and I like how your mouth looks when you are set on an idea or course of action. Your face holds beauty I haven't before seen and your lips beg for my kiss. You have a chest that's luscious and calls for me me to touch it, to rest my face against it. I long to touch your legs, your stomach, between your legs because those parts of you are perfect to me.'

'Right,' Clarke answered shortly. _Just a warm body then._ Lexa frowned, apparently able to read Clarke's irritation. 'I've displeased you?' 'No, I just made a mistake,' she rose from the bed and reached for her pants pulling them on, before pushing her feet into her boots and reaching for her top and jacket, Lexa's eyes fixed on her. 

'What mistake have you made?' she asked and Clarke sighed.

'I should hate you, but I don't. I feel good when I'm with you because God, there aren't many people who understand the things I've done, who know what it's like to be responsible for the lives of others, and you do. I just...god Lexa...I guess I'm just not a casual sex person ok?'

'Clarke...' Lexa stood from the bed as if to stop her but Clarke held up a hand, backing to the tent entrance.

'It's ok, we're good. I'm ok for tomorrow and you're ok for tomorrow. It's all good.'

'Clarke...'

'Goodnight.' 


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa clear the air before Clarke marches to the Ark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey. I'd love some feedback in this. I have eleven more chapters written but it's touch to post if you aren't sure people are enjoying it:-)

**Chapter Five**

_'I should hate you, but I don't. I feel good when I'm with you because God, there aren't many people who understand the things I've done, who know what it's like to be responsible for the lives of others, and you do. I just...god Lexa...I guess I'm just not a casual sex person ok?'_

_'Clarke...' Lexa stood from the bed as if to stop her but Clarke held up a hand, backing to the tent entrance._

_'It's ok, we're good. I'm ok for tomorrow and you're ok for tomorrow. It's all good.'_

_'Clarke...'_

_'Goodnight.'_

XOXOXOXO 

'Princess?' Bellamy looked up in surprise as Clarke entered their tent after leaving Lexa so abruptly. 'I thought you weren't coming back?'

'I wasn't,' Clarke stomped across the tent and shucked off her excess clothing before slipping into her bed. It was impossible to control her expression, though she wasn't sure what it said about her emotions - she wasn't even sure what her emotions were, just that she'd wanted to be more than just a warm body, that not meaning more to the Commander made her feel all mixed up and confused, that despite the mixture of emotions Lexa caused in her, she still liked being with her.

'Did something happen? Do I need to kick her ass?' Bellamy pushed back his covers and sat on the edge of his bed, clearly sleepy.

'What could possibly have happened?' Clarke sent him a withering look.

'Come on Clarke, earlier she was throwing daggers at the two of us and I'm not the only one who's seen the way she looks at you...I'm pretty sure she wanted you to stay the night?'

'She did. She'd just love to use my body,' Clarke definitely didn't like that.

'Huh?'

'Well that's what you were insinuating, right? That she wanted to have sex with me?'

'Uh, yeah. If it means anything, I bet she'd be great in bed,' Bellamy waggled his eyebrows, trying to lighten the mood but Clarke gave him a look,

'I'm pretty sure you'd be great in bed, doesn't mean we aught to sleep together.'

'Ok, fair enough,' he lay back on his bed, leaning on his elbow so he could look at her.

'She just wants my body,' Clarke stated. 'And I can't do that.'

'Do you want her for more than her body, then?' Bellamy asked. 'I mean you were willing to stay, so at what point did that change. What made you leave?'

'Ugh,' Clarke grumbled, face buried in her furs, not able to explain the nuances of the evening and then analyze what they meant.

'Are you even attracted to her?'

'Night Bell,' she mumbled into fur.

'Night Princess,' he chuckled.

XOXOXOXO 

'Heda asks for you,' the guard stood at the entry to Clarke and Bellamy's tent, clearly expecting Clarke to drop everything and attend to his Heda's want.

'I'm busy,' Clarke stated as she sheathed her weapons on her person ready for her march to the Ark.

'Heda expects you,' the guard pulled out his sword, implication clear.

'Ugh,' she grumbled.

'Clarke?' Bellamy asked, basically offering to step in.

'Oh it's fine. We probably shouldn't go into this today feeling angry with each other.'

'As long as you're sure,' Bellamy stated.

'I am,' she grabbed the coat Lexa had given her before the battle of Mount Weather and buckled it up. She was about to follow yet another of Lexa's impatient guards when Bellamy called her back,

'Princess?'

'Yeah?' she moved across to him.

'You sure you're ok? We can talk more before you go see her? Answer some of those questions. You know, if you want?'

'You're sweet but I'm ok.'

'Maybe you should answer the questions, you know before you see her?' his dark eyes flicked over her face.

'I don't know how to answer them,' she admitted.

'Ok, well there'll be time to talk after.'

'Yeah.'

'We must go,' the guard tsked in impatience.

'Ok, ok.'

Clarke followed the guard through the village until she was at Lexa's tent. She glared pointedly at the guard she'd followed and walked past him and the two guards outside of the tent. Lexa wasn't in the outer bit of the tent and the meeting table was clear of all maps and plans, so Clarke didn't hesitate to walk through to Lexa's sleeping area, not given the girls behaviour the night before, she didn't think Lexa would have any problem with Clarke catching her less than fully clothed.

'Lexa,' Clarke stated as she found the Commander, her back towards the tent partition as she made her bed. It was odd to see her doing such a domestic task, especially dressed as a sky person. The Commander made no sign that she'd heard her, though Clarke had no doubt that she'd been aware the second she'd entered the tent. 'Lexa?' Lexa turned and her eyes were cold and unreadable as she marched out of the living area and sat on her throne - definitely a position of power over all others. Clarke rolled her eyes in frustration and followed. It wasn't as if Clarke had done anything wrong the night before, just chosen not to be Lexa's warm body of choice.

'Lexa, you asked me to come to meet with you,' she pointed out and watched Lexa finally locked her eyes on her.

'I did,' she nodded but said nothing more.

'Why?'

'I offended you last night,' Lexa stated bluntly. 'My desire for you was offensive, even though your body responded to mine.'

'I'm just not into casual sex as I said. For me intimacy needs to be about more.'

'More?' Lexa frowned.

'Yeah, I have to want the person,' Clarke began and Lexa's expression grew stormy,

'I understand,' she nodded and turned her face from Clarke who felt a sudden twist of guilt in her stomach at how obviously upset Lexa seemed to be, because she knew how her words sounded, even if she didn't mean them that way. Oh, Lexa hid it well, but Clarke had spent a lot of time with her and she saw the flash of hurt across her green eyes. Lexa took out her dagger and began to play with it, much as she had when Clarke first met her, only then it had spoken of power and now it seemed to be distraction from her own thoughts.

'Lexa.'

'It is fine,' she dismissed. 'You may go.'

'I'm not going anywhere,' Clarke hated the fact that she wouldn't look at her.

'I do not want you here any longer,' Lexa stated bluntly.

'I need to do your hair,' Clarke told her. 'I want to do your hair.'

'Why do you want to do my hair when you do not want me?' Lexa scathed.

'Lexa, come sit on your bed so I can do it,' she held out a hand and tried not to feel spurned when Lexa stood and ignored it, walking back to her sleeping area. Sighing she followed. 'Sit and let me do your hair.'

'No, I can do my own hair,' Lexa flicked her hand at her, 'Gon we.'

'Sit down and let me do your hair,' Clarke repeated obstinately, arms crossed over her chest and she could see how incandescent it made Lexa to be ordered around and ignored. 'You asked me to do your hair for you this morning and I'm doing it.'

'Fine,' she spoke through gritted teeth as she perched on the edge of her bed, back ramrod straight, expression fixed. Clarke kicked off her boots and climbed onto the bed behind Lexa, noting the tenseness of her shoulders and the way her body almost cringed away from her as she bumped against her. Sighing, she took the comb Lexa silently handed her and began to brush out the knots in her hair.

'You know, it's important that the other person...that they want me too,' Clarke wanted to soothe the hurt even if she couldn't explain why. Lexa said nothing and so she continued, talking too much as was usual. 'And I don't mean want me for my body,' she hesitated as Lexa's body grew even stiffer. She could have sworn the air had a slight frost to it and she couldn't help but feel she was making things worse. 'I just...I've done that before. Been intimate without really knowing a person and it just ended in disaster.' She watched Lexa's hands grip her knees, her knuckles white. 'Finn and I...we slept together and then it turned out he had a girlfriend.' Lexa whirled around so fast Clarke fell backwards onto her ass, landing in a rather undignified heap.

'The boy you risked the alliance for, the one you saved from his just punishment...he loved another?' her green eyes bore into Clarke's.

'I think he loved us both...you know in the end. But Raven..she was his girlfriend.'

'And you loved him?'

'Yes,' Clarke nodded. 'I think so.'

'You think? You do not know?' Lexa seemed unimpressed by this revelation.

'That's my point. I didn't really know him.'

'But you wanted him?' Lexa asked pointedly.

'Yes.'

'But you don't want me?'

'I didn't mean that, I just meant if I'm intimate it needs to be more than physical.'

'I know your body responds to mine, so I can only assume you do not want me as a person. Is it that you dislike me or is it that you feel I betrayed you and you cannot trust me?' Lexa asked and Clarke scrambled forward on the bed, trying to stand rather than continue lying sprawled before the powerful Commander.

'I like being friends Lexa,' she attempted but Lexa didn't seem to find her response adequate.

'It is ok, I understand,' she nodded curtly.

'No you don't,' Clarke felt frustrated. Everything seemed to come out wrong, or was received wrong. Lexa didn't get it because there was something about Lexa that made Clarke want to be around her. And despite her betrayal she did trust her. She liked being with the Commander because she liked her, because she was more herself with Lexa than anyone. The problem wasn't her, it was Lexa, and what she meant to the Commander - being used wasn't fun. And was she really ready for what something with the Grounder's leader might involve?

'Today our people fight. We fight for our right to exist on this earth. Our right to not be annihilated. You must face the Ark, your mother, and I must try and free the boy who can hopefully prevent something terrible from occurring. We need to forget this. We need to move on.'

'I don't want to forget this,' Clarke huffed, 'this is all a mess because you decided to take your top off in front of me.'

'I was getting ready for sleep. You did not need to stare at my body.'

'You didn't need to be so nice to me, to make me feel the way you did,' Clarke finally scrambled up and off the bed and stood practically nose to nose with Lexa.

'I like you Klark kom Skai kru. We are fighting this war together. You are my friend and we are allies. I wish for you to be close to me.'

'I know - because I have golden hair and a luscious chest and lips that beg for your kiss...'

'Do not mock me,' Lexa's voice was low and dangerous and Clarke actually took a step back, only to find Lexa advance on her.

'It's what you said,' Clarke defended hating the slight shake to her voice.

'You asked why I like to touch you when I said that. You did not ask about my feelings for you, or whether I like you, or anything more. We had already established our friendship and I was merely responding as to what it is that makes me enjoy touching you. I could have merely gestured to everything about you,' she spoke with authority, brokering no room for argument. Of course Clarke always had to argue,

'What are your feelings for me?' She tried not to show how intimidating she found Lexa at that moment, even in sky clothing and without any war paint or armour or even discernible weapons.

'I do not wish to discuss my feelings,' Lexa took another step towards Clarke who took another back, her back hitting the canvas of the tent.

'Are we friends?'

'What do you think?' Lexa managed to sound fairly mocking herself as she stepped right into Clarke's body space.

'This isn't how I am with other friends,' she gasped at the feel of strong fingers gripping her hips.

'Good,' Lexa nuzzled her face into the warmth of Clarke's neck causing her pulse to skyrocket and a burning heat to ignite between her legs that she was just desperate to have sated.

'Lexa,' the commander's name was a breathy sigh and Lexa hummed before biting Clarke's pulse point, then sucked the skin into her mouth.

'You sky people make everything so complicated,' Lexa growled as she crushed Clarke's breast in her palm, her thigh sliding between Clarke's shaky legs.

'It seems like you're the one making our friendship com..pli..cat...ed,' Clarke mumbled the words out, the last coming out in staggered syllables as she moaned, and Lexa ground her thigh against her.

'You question me. You think I treat all my friends this way? That I kiss them and seek intimacy? That I encourage them to sleep in my bed with their head on my chest? Brandwoda.'

'What does that mean?' Clarke found her hands on Lexa's hips encouraging her thigh to continue moving between her legs, her head dropping to one side.

'It means fool,' Lexa continued her assault, mouth moving heatedly across pale skin, thigh grinding into the Skaiprisa so she kept making that breathy sound and fingers pinching the nipple of the breast she clutched.

'Don't call me a fool,' her protest sounded weak as her body arched into Lexa's, her head moving to encourage Lexa's kiss to her lips.

'Heda,' the guards voice came from the outer part of the tent and Lexa made a noise of irritation.

'Sha?' she moved her strong thigh against Clarke again and stared at the Skaiprisa's closed eyes, at her teeth clamped on her bottom lip. Clarke was only vaguely aware of the conversation that then occurred in Tridegasleng her whole body simultaneously melting beneath the Commanders, her breathing erratic and uncontrolled, her skin hot and her heart thundering in her chest beneath Lexa's palm.

'The others are here to meet with us,' Lexa trailed her hand off Clarke's chest. Clarke's hand snatched at the Commanders and placed it back on her chest, her body needy. The soft laugh, impossibly girlish, forced Clarke's lids open and she was staring at the sight of a beautiful girl, dark hair a halo around her head, a smile on her exquisite lips and green eyes, dark with desire, fixated on her. Lexa gave a gentle squeeze and dropped her hand again, resting it on Clarke's hip. 'I think we should speak more, Klark kom Skaikru.'

'Yes,' Clarke nodded because indeed they should.

'You must decide if your mind wants what your body does,' Lexa explained.

'As must you,' Clarke moved her hands to Lexa's shoulders.

'Do I strike you as a person who wallows in indecision?' Lexa gave her a haughty look and Clarke couldn't help but smile, hand raising to cup the other girls cheek,

'No, you do not. But you said...'

'I answered your question. It is not my fault that your questions lacked depth, or that you ran from me rather than continue our conversation.'

'Stop,' Clarke grumbled because Lexa, it seemed, had a knack for ruining the moment.

'You do not order me Klark kom...' Lexa began, the rest of her sentence swallowed by Clarke's kiss, her tongue diving into the Commanders fresh mouth, the hand on that soft cheek pushing into thick dark hair so she might pull the other girl more firmly to her. It was only a couple of seconds before Lexa was returning the kiss, her tongue fighting for dominance against Clarke's, her body fitted to Clarke's as her strong thigh once more began to create a friction that had the Skaiprisa whimpering into the kiss.

'Heda,' the guards voice came again and Lexa's mouth was ripped from hers, a soft curse in Tridegasleng being hissed into Clarke's neck before Lexa stepped away from her and yelled curtly at her guard. 'Sha, Heda,' even Clarke could hear the deference in his voice,

'Now we meet with the others. Tonight you stay with me,' Lexa's eyes burned Clarke's and though Clarke had no idea if she was ready for a night with Lexa, nor even what said night would involve, she found herself nodding. 'Will you do my hair?' Lexa asked softly, and once again Clarke could only nod, as she watched Lexa grab her comb and then move to her bed. Clarke climbed on behind her and began to tame her soft hair, while also trying to tame her pounding heart and butterfly filled stomach. Lexa's kiss was still fresh on her lips and her body craved her touch. Her hands felt hot and longed for the feel of smooth tan skin. Swallowing, she began the braid, fingers moving slowly to ensure it was neat and pretty.

'Heda,' Indra burst through into Lexa's private section but the fierce general stopped short at the sight before her, head bowing as she backed away, muttering an apology. Clarke waited for Lexa's anger but none came, she merely handed Clarke the leather to tie the end off. Clarke slid from the bed and pushed her feet into her boots, sitting beside Lexa to tie them. When she was done she dropped her hands to the edge of the bed, her hand brushing Lexa's. Feeling uncertain she squeezed Lexa's cool fingers and then sought to thread their fingers together. Lexa allowed the action, her eyes fixed on Clarke.

'Come back today,' she whispered and felt Lexa squeeze her hand.

'You too,' she stood and pulled Clarke up with her. Through unspoken understanding they released each other as they pushed into the meeting section of the tent to finalize details before leaving.

XOXOXOXO 

Clarke held her body straight as she rode her large horse at the head of the army she was leading. She knew that Indra rode a horse at the back of the other army descending upon each entry to the mountain. That army would be fragmented out of necessity and all the more vulnerable for it. She thought of Octavia and Lincoln and swallowed doubt, because they had to achieve their goal or they would all face extinction. She thought of Lexa and the group of warriors she led through the forest, covert and hopefully undetected. She thought about Raven and all she risked to communicate with them, she thought of the girl ensuring the electricity was off and all that could go wrong if she failed to achieve this. Lexa and Bellamy would die if all didn't go to plan. They were all at risk. They were all at risk as they fought and yet they were all at greater risk if they did not.

They met no resistance as they approached the Ark though Clarke knew they were observed. She did not remove herself from her horse but she lowered the hood of her cloak so her hair, her defining feature, was clear to the guards who aimed their guns at her, the shouts of panic from behind the fence clearly audible due to the silence of the army following her. She had long debated how to approach this moment of interaction and she still wasn't certain and so she allowed her silence to intimidate. They all knew who she was and they all knew why she had left. Raven had informed them that they had more supporters within the Ark and that they wore a small scrap of sky blue so the Grounders might identify them. The people that didn't support her knew that she had fought three hundred grounder warriors and won. The people who sided with her mother's lunacy knew that she had been abandoned by the Grounder army at Mount Weather and yet she had still found entry and she had won, that she had defeated an entire murderous people and saved her own people. They knew and so she allowed the vision of her on top of a horse with two hundred silent warriors behind her, weapons drawn, to speak for itself. At length the gate opened and without a word she rode through it, flanked by twenty warriors - her own personal guard. The Ark guards pointed their guns at the Grounders but she had several armed guards of her own and they aimed their guns and swords in silent opposition. No one fired.

'Clarke,' Kane stood before her and she stared at him in silence. 'I am assuming you do not mean to slaughter the people it cost you so much to save and that you are here to talk.'

'It is the custom of both the Trigedakru and the twelve clan coalition that I come to formally declare war. Now is the time for negotiations and if they are not successful you, the Ark, will be formally at war with the Sky people, Trigedakru and the twelve clan coalition.' Her mind flicked to Lexa and Bellamy and their attempt to move unobserved through camp, she and the army needed to command attention. She raised her hand and in unison the army beyond the fence stomped their feet, the sound echoing around. She saw the Ark people shift nervously. At length she lowered her hand and the stomping stopped. Kane turned and spoke to a guard and the guard headed into the Ark. Clarke chose not to fill the tense silence with chatter but allow the anxiety within the Ark people to grow. A minute or two later her mother was stood before her, her arms crossed over her chest in a gesture of defiance.

'What is this Clarke?' her mother asked, her voice loud but her tone soft. Abby's eyes appraised Clarke taking in her Grounder attire. 'Clarke, surely you don't want to start a civil war just because you're mad at me? And I know that you're angry with me. This, however, is too much - I barely recognize you. If you want more control please be assured that the council will listen to your concerns, but you can't just come here with an army - that's insanity. You have to trust that we know what we're doing. We have been leading our people for a lot longer than you.'

'My presence here is insanity?' Clarke waited for the irony of her mother's words to hit her. 'I'm sorry but I don't generally follow the leadership of crazy people, so I do not trust you or the council,' Clarke stated scathingly, her face aloof. Her mother's face hardened.

'You say you're here to talk, so get down from that animal and talk,' her mother gestured angrily and as one the army resumed their stomping, one solitary battle cry echoing against the metal of the Ark. Clarke allowed it to continue long enough for her mother to take a hasty step backwards and then she raised a hand and as one the army became silent. With grace, she slipped from the horse and marched toward her mother, the twenty guards who had entered with her staying in position. 'What do you think you're doing Clarke? You're just a child and you risk us all with this foolish behaviour.'

It was the second time that day that Clarke had been called foolish and she stepped into her mother's personal space,

'It is not I who risk us all. You plan to use weapons that will wipe out the people who have survived on earth, survived war and radiation and a planet destroyed by the last trigger happy inhabitants. You plan to destroy everything.'

'I plan to bring peace to this savage land.'

'If it is savage then it is because that is what is necessary for survival at this time. It strikes me as odd that you see their close encounters with death as savage and would choose to use weapons which allow you distance, which allow you to kill without facing the death you cause. I believe that your guns and bombs are the far more savage choice.'

'They tie a person to a stump and cut them a thousand times and you call a swift execution savage?'

'If you do not witness the pain and anguish of the death you inflict, then how can life hold any value to you? Your plans to destroy thousands are testament to the fact that you do not wish to acknowledge the pain you will cause, that you do not wish to acknowledge the value in the lives you plan to take,' her voice was loud and each word resonated in the silence. Unexpectedly the Warriors at her back and those beyond the fence let out a fierce battle cry. When at last silence fell around them she spoke once more, 'Am I to assume that your plans remain the same?'

'I don't want to hurt you Clarke. I don't want to hurt any of our people,' Abby's voice had grown more desperate as she pleaded with her daughter, 'you're my daughter and I love you. I only want to make the world we waited so long to inherit the kind of place where we can live in peace, where our people can prosper. You aren't thinking clearly. You are not the child I raised but I know that somewhere, somewhere inside of you, you know that leaders make the unpopular decisions so the people don't have to, that they do what benefits their people.'

'Take it from someone who has committed genocide, that what you are considering does not come without cost,' Clarke meant her words as a warning but her mother pounced on them,

'What is so different between what you did and what I plan to do? Do you regret killing the mountain people?' her mother must have known that she did not, not that what she did at the mountain was as simply an issue of regret or no regret.

'I don't deny that I did the right thing, but the cost was high,' she merely responded.

'Well I feel the same. The Grounders are a risk to us, they are savage and they follow that girl, their Commander as if she were a god. There is no reason with them.'

'There is reason,' Clarke half spat. 'The Maumon - they could only survive with our deaths. They were truly savage because they ceased to see others as human and they tortured and bled people to death in order to exist. They were a brutal people and they could not survive without killing us. The same is not true of the Ark and the Grounders. The sky people who left with me have been welcomed into villages. They have been given a warm place to sleep, food in their bellies and clothes to keep them dry. They do not fear to be where they are because there is peace between them and those that host them. We have a chance for peace without annihilation, if you could manage to look past your ego. We have a chance to talk and trade, to live and learn. You seek only to destroy that which you don't understand rather than allow it to benefit you. Fear is what drives your actions.'

'You think I'm scared?' her mother's finger prodded her chest. 'You think I'm scared of an army that is led by children? You think I'm scared that my daughter will kill me? I gave birth to you and I know that this is not who you are.'

'I thought I knew you and who you were, but apparently I was wrong.'

'I won't give up on you Clarke,' Abby's chest was heaving with her anger.

'You should, because I would rather kill you than watch you infect others with your insanity and ruin this world.'

'This is but a small part of the world, Clarke. Our missiles will destroy only those that prevent us from creating civilization.'

'Just listen to yourself mom! You have only ever seen them at war. You know nothing of the civilization that already exists...'

'I know it has taken my daughter,' Abby interrupted, 'changed her beyond recognition. That it uses her against her own people.'

'They are not using me. The only person who has turned me from my people are my people. I know survival is important but should it really be survival at any cost?' Clarke thought she remembered her mother or someone saying something similar.

'You are being a hypocrite Clarke,' her mother yelled and everything about her mother's expression, her stance, they both reminded Clarke of being chastised as a child.

'The situations are not the same,' she defended.

'Oh grow up,' her mother's hand connected with her cheek with a sharp crack, her head thrown to the side as the sound reverberated around the encampment. Within a millisecond her guards weapons were aimed at her mother.

'I do not stand here as your daughter,' Clarke glowered.

'But you are my daughter and you are not behaving well. You used to respect the council knew best and you used to respect your parents. Now you're so inflated with your own sense of self importance than you don't even respect yourself.'

Clarke breathed deeply, and after several moments of tense silence she turned to Kane. 'This is your last chance to have peace,' she spoke loudly, clearly. 'Allow Monty to enter the Mountain and disable the missiles once and for all. Meet with the Commander and the other clan leaders and negotiate, begin to trade. Learn how to live amongst the people who call this planet home. Listen to them and start to trade for the things you need so you can move beyond living in the metal can that we were bound to in space. This planet is amazing, the people are amazing. There is so much potential.'

'Clarke you can't ignore the fact that I am chancellor,' Abby stood beside Kane who seemed to be thinking. 'The council has voted and we hold the mountain. Save yourself Clarke.'

'I will never sacrifice so many for the sake of arrogance,' Clarke's voice was loud and clear and the Grounders yelled their approval.

'You are being ridiculous and childish. I will take you by force if I must, but I won't let you die with the rest of them.'

'I will go nowhere with you and if you kill them, you kill me,' she hollered, absolutely incandescent.

'I will do what is necessary. As your mother it is my job to protect you when you fail to protect yourself.'

'You try and take me and the first battle of this war will occur right now,' Clarke warned.

'Your warriors know we have more than just missiles. Our weapons will rip your warriors apart. I am not so stupid that I start something I cannot finish.'

'And neither am I,' Clarke warned. 'They won't hesitate to kill you mom, and Kane, the entire council. They will kill every man, woman and child in this place if it means preventing you blowing up the planet.'

'So you would put their lives above those of your people? Some leader,' her mother scoffed.

'You twist everything,' Clarke was back in her mother's face. 'Without your plan to annihilate all others there would be no need for this conflict, no need to put one life above another, but yes, I would side with those who seek to preserve life rather than destroy it.'

'Then you will have to learn to trust that your mother knows best,' Abby ground out, her jaw clenched as her hand grabbed Clarke's wrist. 'You are staying here.'

'I'm not trying to go out and meet friends when I'm grounded - you cannot force this on me. You lost the right to dictate what I do when you sent me to earth to die,' Clarke growled and tried to free her arm but her mother's grip was a vice, her strong hand holding Clarke's weak one. 'Let me go,' she roared.

'I will not,' her mother made to drag her towards to Ark and at once Grounders surrounded them, the Sky people who made up her guard pointing guns at her mother, Kane and the guards around them, the Ark guards also aiming their weapons. Clarke couldn't have said where the shot came from, though she knew for certain that her guards weren't traitors, couldn't be because they were fighting for the lives of their families, for their survival. The bullet hit her arm and it occurred to her that it may have been meant for her mother, given their arms were in such close proximity. The Grounders roared and began their stomping, the energy palpable. Clarke was stunned, and she knew that while it appeared to be a simple injury, it really wasn't because the blood was spilling from her with a scary speed. She knew that if she fell to the floor it would be a blood bath for the Ark, there would be no mercy for any that supported her mother and she still wished to find a way out of this war for them all. The pain in her arm was immense but she breathed through it, staring at the blood falling onto her mother's hand that still gripped her wrist.

'Release me,' she stated.

'No...I...'

'One word from me and that army will come through the gate and they will keep on coming. Your bombs stand no chance, your guns will kill but a few and they will kill you all. I said release me.' Her mother's hand fell from her wrist.

'Ai yuj,' she yelled, telling the army she was strong in her limited grasp of their language. 'Hod op. Ai gonplei nou ste odon nowe.' Stop. My fight isn't over. They had to wait. Her part in the days tactics was not about battle, she was there to facilitate Lexa and Bellamy, both of whom risked death as the army did not know they snuck inside the Ark walls and they would be killed as people of the Ark. Clarke knew the sky people did not wish the death of their people, merely an end to the madness the council sought to inflict. Today was not the day for a battle despite the roaring of her army, despite her guards that were ready to kill. With strength she didn't think she possessed she raised her bleeding arm as a show of power and the army fell silent. She repeated her words, 'Ai yuj. Hod op. Ai gonplei nou ste odon nowe. Gon we.' She knew they must leave because despite her words, if she fell, they would take revenge. She didn't know who the gunman had aimed for but she had been hit and therefore in the minds of her army the Ark was guilty. Her mother seemed stunned and Clarke realized Kane was bellowing at her guards to lower their weapons, to wait.

'Let me help you Clarke,' Abby reached for her daughter but Clarke narrowed her eyes, questioning the merit of such a decision and her mother hastily withdrew her arm. 'You need medical treatment.'

'I will get medical treatment from my people,' Clarke stared at her mother. 'You have until sundown to surrender. If you surrender then your people may live. There will be penalties for your intended actions but you can prevent loss of life. If you do not surrender a state of war exists and people will die. Your plan to unleash missiles of destruction upon thousands is considered your declaration of war and it cannot pass without resistance. We did not wish this war. This is your last opportunity to avoid it.'

'Clarke you're bleeding. You need medical treatment.'

'Do you understand?' she asked and Kane nodded. Clarke turned without hesitation, aware of her guard swooping behind her, weapons aimed. She marched from the compound, angry, storming through the army that parted until she led it. She sensed her guard behind her and turned to them. 'Who fired?' she asked and she stared at the sky guards who carried guns. There were only four of them. 'I won't be angry but I need to know if they fired or we did. If you sought to hit my mom speak now. If you sought to hit me speak now and face the consequences.'

'It wasn't us,' Justin promised and Clarke appraised them all.

'The bullet came from the Ark, from one of them,' a large Grounder warrior who Clarke knew to be trusted by Lexa, explained. 'I saw the weapon but not who raised it. I cannot say for certain but your mother moved her body at the last moment. I believe the bullet was meant for her.'

'Ok. Have the gonakru spread out the through the trees, out of the line of fire. We wait here for the Commander.'

'Skaiprisa,' the large man bowed his head. His name was Jac she remembered. He spoke in Tridegasleng to the generals and they looked to her.

'Yes?' she felt weak.

'My generals will do as you bid. You still bleed. Let someone help.'

'Mochof Jac,' she nodded. 'Ensure no one is seen. They will know we are here but we need to maintain a visual without risk to our warriors. I will wait for the Commander.'

'Sha, Skaiprisa,' he nodded. Clarke dropped to the ground, sitting on a log before pushing the coat from her shoulders. She grunted with pain as she pulled it off of her wounded arm. The arm was broken and she was pretty certain the bullet was still in there which meant the wound could kill her if she wasn't careful, or leave her with a useless arm. She desired neither outcome, but had not anticipated receiving such an injury. With another grunt she removed her long sleeved top so she was sat in her vest, her body warm despite the cold temperatures. She looked up to see two warriors she didn't know staring at her. Without a word they dropped to the ground in front of her. One reached cautiously for her arm, examining the wound before he began speaking in rapid Tridegasleng to the other who produced a leather medical kit from inside his coat. Clarke didn't wince, despite the pain, as they smeared on a plant extract she knew to have cleansing properties.

'You need more help,' the one in front of her explained, his English broken.

'I know,' she nodded. 'Just wrap it. Tightly.'

'Sha,' he nodded, more of a bow really, and pulled out a roll of material which he bound around her arm. She knew it would be blood soaked in moments but lacked the power to do anything about it. 'Let me take you to our healer, or we will send for him.'

'I must see the Commander,' she grimaced, knowing they knew not where Lexa was. She slipped from the log and moved to a tree where she could lean, and then tried to fight the urge to close her eyes.


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke learns that the Ark still control the Mountain. She and Lexa plot their next moves and Clarke sleeps in Lexa's tent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would love some feedback. On the other site I use I got so much feedback for this, so anything would be helpful. A big thanks to those who have given me some:-)

**Chapter Six**

'Clarke,' her name along with the gentle shaking of her shoulder. It didn't matter that the move was gentle, the pain ripped through her arm like fire and she cried out. 'What's happened?' Lexa's voice was angry and she was yelling at the warriors who seemed to be defending something though Clarke didn't understand anything being said. 'Clarke,' her voice was softer when it was next whispered in her ear, a cool hand smoothing the hair from her face.

'Did you get Monty?' she asked dragging her eyes open to stare at beautiful green eyes.

'Yes,' Lexa nodded, her hand curling around Clarke's neck, 'the guards on duty to watch him were loyal to you. Raven did as promised. It was very easy with the distraction you provided. You were amazing! But you weren't supposed to get hurt Clarke,' her voice was warm and it made Clarke feel safe. 'I have been told they have until sundown to surrender. You have a kind heart Clarke.'

'I was hoping we would hear word that the mountain was taken. Then they would be forced to surrender.'

'I fear this war may become more bloody than we would like,' Lexa slumped beside her, apparently unconcerned about how she may be seen by her army. Clarke relished the feel of Lexa's strong body against hers and she took Lexa's right hand with her left, threading their fingers together. Lexa allowed it, despite how visible they were. 'I have sent for Nyko ai Prisa. You will be ok,' she turned and pressed a kiss to Clarke's forehead, 'when I find who injured you so, I vow I will kill them,' she promised.

'Hod op Lexa,' Clarke smiled despite her head falling to the shoulder of the Commander, the hard metal of her armour unyielding and yet comforting through the fact that it was Lexa's. 'We believe it was an Ark guard who aimed for my mother.'

'So I am not allowed to kill the person responsible?' she sounded sincerely disappointed.

'No,' Clarke squeezed the fingers between hers. 'Unless we find they were aiming for me.'

'Ok,' Lexa brought their joined hands to her mouth and pressed her lips against the skin at the back of Clarke's hand. It was almost a kiss, like a wisp of life incorporated into a dream, for her head felt foggy, and Lexa seemed close and yet so distant, as if Clarke could never quite reach her.

XOXOXOXO 

Clarke gasped as she became conscious. She was in Lexa's tent, in Lexa's bed and her arm hurt, burned really. Her head felt clear, though it was as though knives were in her arm.

'Lexa,' she called, needing to know what was happening. No one came and Clarke shouted again, 'Lexa? Bellamy? Anyone?' When no one came to her she used her left hand to push herself into a sitting position and then examined her right. She attempted to move her fingers and was pleased that they worked, even if it was agony. She wanted to know her arm was ok, to examine the injury and discover what had actually happened to it and what had been done. However, her arm felt of no importance compared to knowing what had occurred at the Mountain. Compared to knowing whether the Ark had surrendered. She needed to see Bellamy with her own two eyes, and Octavia, Miller and Lincoln. She needed to know that Raven was ok, to speak to Monty and ensure he was indeed loyal to her and that he hadn't been mistreated. Most of all she needed to see Lexa, and not merely in order to understand what was happening, or to answer all the questions she had, and knew Lexa had the answers to. She needed to see Lexa to reassure herself that the Commander was fine, that everything would be ok, that she wasn't lying alone in a tent in a world that had already been ripped apart.

Clarke stood and found herself shaky. She headed for the partition, half expecting to see Lexa or her friends beyond the material. The space was empty and as she moved to the tent exit she began to feel fear.

'Skaiprisa,' Jac, the man who had instructed the generals at her behest, was stood outside.

'Jac,' she took his arm. 'Where is the Commander.'

'She fights,' he explained, 'I protect you.'

'Where is Bellamy? Octavia? Lincoln? What's happening?'

'The Ark did not surrender and the Mountain...they had bombs that killed many. They did not take the mountain. Let me take you to Octavia.'

'She's ok?'

'Sha. She is hurt but alive. You hurt?' his eyes dropped to her shoulder.

'I'm ok. Confused but ok.'

'You sleep for many hours,' he led her through the village until they reached a large building. Clarke felt fear and anxiety coil in her belly at the sounds coming from it - cries and grunts of pain. It stank of death, this she knew as she entered the space. It was too warm and the coppery smell of blood hit her nose. Twenty makeshift cots filled the space and each was filled. Nyko was moving from patient to patient and Clarke knew she should help him, though doubted her arm would allow it. However, first she had to find Octavia and discover what had occurred. She moved down the aisle between the cots, bowing her head respectfully to each wounded warrior, noting that their injuries were bad but hopefully survivable. She had no doubt that twice the number lay dead and the thought made anger grow in her belly alongside her fear.

'Octavia,' she said the girls name, reaching for her hand with her uninjured left and holding it.

'Clarke?' Octavia stared at her and there was no doubting how pleased she was to see her. Whatever cavern had existed between them was now bridged.

'Are you ok?' Despite Clarke's burning need to know exactly what had happened she also needed to be reassured that Octavia was ok.

'I'll be fine. I was knocked unconscious by one of the blasts and I injured my arm,' she looked to her right arm and Clarke smiled,

'So we can feel incapable together,' she said and Octavia smiled back,

'Yeah I heard you got shot,' she pursed her lips a little, eyebrows arching, 'I heard you were totally bad ass, that you and your army made it easy for Bellamy and the Commander?'

'I wanted this to end without bloodshed,' Clarke admitted, 'I wanted to talk them down from this madness. My mom acted like I was a naughty kid who'd brought friends over for a party, totally disappointing her. Even with an army at my back ready to kill them for their plans she couldn't see that there must be a reason for people to feel as they do.'

'Apparently you totally showed her who was boss.'

'Well I'm glad that's what people think. So what happened? At the mountain?'

'The Trikru scouts, they'd seen people working outside the entries...but they didn't attack because those individuals were guarded and they were just meant to be observing. We were strong Clarke. We did everything we should have and it should have worked. We took out the guards with guns from a distance, we approached on foot and then the first bomb went off. You know a bit like the ones Raven laid? Then they were hurling these hand bombs into our army, all of them at each entry. They were these small round metal shapes and they would land amongst us and then just explode. We would have fought on but people were injured and because we had split between each entry there were not enough. Indra called the army back. We set up a perimeter and shot anyone who might come to lay more bombs. Thing is we don't know if they've all gone off or not. We don't know how many more of the ball bombs they have. We wanted the back up of the armies that arrived today.'

'So what is happening now?' Clarke felt sick.

'It got worse. When your mother didn't surrender, the army that accompanied you and Lexa, they maintained a perimeter. They were warned of the bombs and ordered to kill any that stepped outside the fence. No one has moved and so Heda, she thinks the bombs are something they made at the mountain, with mountain technology. With Ark people split between Camp Jaha and the Mountain, and our armies between the group is severed. The mountain may have bombs but unless Raven makes some, Camp Jaha does not. Unfortunately, they have managed to get the acid fog up - fuck knows how. I don't know what they did but maybe they had a spare tank or whatever. I know Raven thinks Wick is loyal but...'

'The fog is back up?' Clarke couldn't hide her devastation.

'Yes. If Wick is loyal maybe it was his way of saving us...latterly keeping us away from the bombs. Or holding his cover - you know as a proof he's not on our side. Maybe I'm making excuses,' she shrugged a little.

'So where is Lexa?'

'The army is huge now. Everyone knows the importance of this battle. There are warriors from every clan, even the Ice clan. They're making plans to take out Camp Jaha, and they plan to take one entrance to the mountain, covertly. If they get Bellamy into the mountain then he can turn off the fog - again,' Octavia tsked her displeasure.

'That's such a risk,' Clarke closed her eyes against the emotion but then opened them to look at her best friend's sister.

'It's do or die,' Octavia admitted, her face marred by a frown of worry. 'There is a battle now - who achieves their goal first. If we take Jaha and gain entry to the mountain before they access the missiles. There are so few of them in the mountain that if we take Camp Jaha, for them to destroy the twelve clans would be to destroy themselves. Raven says they took only one female to the mountain. I mean it would literally destroy them...they'd die out. If we hold Camp Jaha we can negotiate.'

'I need to see Lexa. Where is she? Jac said she's fighting?'

'She did. She joined us at the mountain but she concurred with Indra's plan to pull back. She, Indra and Bellamy have decided upon the best entry into the mountain. She then travelled to Camp Jaha to meet with Miller, Peyo and Lincoln and the clan leaders who have arrived.'

'Why haven't they attacked it yet? Put an end to this madness.'

'Uh...' Octavia hesitated and Clarke narrowed her eyes in question. 'You do know that Heda...she uh...wants your...happiness?' Octavia was careful with her words, attempting to say something without saying it.

'What's that supposed to mean?'

'She would not attack Camp Jaha, your mother, not without your express permission. She has silenced all calls for their blood and said we must wait for the Skaiprisa, for you. She awaits your word.'

'They must attack. What choice do we have?'

'It may mean certain death for our people, or the Ark portion.'

'Then it is a certain death they have caused,' Clarke answered with a hard voice. 'We can win a battle against Camp Jaha. They may have guns and bombs and the technology they so love to big up, but we have warriors who fight with integrity and bravery. We'll win - as we should,' Clarke fumed and jumped in surprise when the wounded warriors called their approval of her words.

'Go find Heda,' Octavia squeezed her hand.

'You feel better.'

'Skaiprisa,' Nyko stood beside her. 'How is your arm?'

'It hurts,' she gave him a weak smile.

'It is broken. The bullet broke the bone but I cannot set it. We must put it in a sling.'

'Sha,' Clarke nodded for she knew the truth, allowing Nyko to tie up her arm. 'You got the bullet out?'

'Sha and cleaned the wound, removed the splintered bone. I know that you would have done a better job but I hope we save your arm and that you can use it still.'

'You did great,' she reassured. 'Who can take me to Lexa?'

'Jac will take you,' Nyko nodded.

'Ok. Mochof Nyko.'

XOXOXOXO 

The army stretched a long way back from the perimeter of Camp Jaha, the warriors bowing their heads or stomping as a show of respect as Clarke rode between them, behind Jac on her horse. A tent had been set up a few hundred feet from the perimeter and Jac slipped from the horse only to turn and lift her down as though she was no more than a feather.

'Mochof Jac,' she said but he merely bowed his head. She walked towards the tent which was heavily guarded. She nodded to the guards who made no move to prevent her entrance. She pushed quietly through the canvas, almost silent.

Lexa had her back to her, while she, Indra, Peyo, Miller and Lincoln all discussed something at the table. There were two scary looking individuals, a man and a woman and Clarke had no doubt they were the clan leaders Octavia had spoken of. The Commander was dressed as herself once more, her armour and hair done to reflect her rank and importance to the coalition army. She looked strong, covered in mud, a splatter of blood on the thin, regal neck and for a moment Clarke stared at her, her body coiling with the now familiar desire she felt for the girl. She squashed it back, or tried to. It wasn't the time for those emotions, for thinking about her friend, ally, Commander in that way.

'Lexa,' she greeted, and everyone in the room but Lexa looked up and at her. After a beat Lexa turned, her face betraying nothing though Clarke watched her eyes look over every bit of her, zeroing in on the arm strapped across her chest, before meeting her eyes. Clarke couldn't tear her eyes from Lexa's, despite the silence that was stretching between them, as her green eyes stormed. At length Lexa stepped towards her, and a cool hand cupped her cheek.

'Klark kom Skai kru,' she offered. 'Skaiprisa. Ai Prisa,' her face was soft, caring. Clarke didn't know the direct translation of the last words but it wasn't hard to work out the general sentiment. 'How do you feel?'

'Like I got shot,' she placed her hand on Lexa's, the one that still held her cheek, and watched the commander's eyes flutter closed for a brief moment. Then she was pulling her hand away, turning it to take Clarke's and tug her to the table.

'Are you well enough to hear our plan?'

'Yes,' Clarke nodded.

'Klark this is Luna kom Floukru,' Lexa gestured to the older woman, whose face was kind but battle scarred. Clarke knew of Luna and had heard she was more inclined to peace - obviously her life had had a different plan. 'Luna, Klark kom skaikru, Skaiprisa.'

'Skaiprisa, I am pleased to meet you,' Luna bowed her head.

'This is Mantu kom Sankru. Mantu, Klark,' Lexa placed her body just slightly in front of Clarke, something possessive in the gesture and Clarke appreciated it for Mantu was observing her closely, eyes roaming freely across her.

'You are the Skaiprisa?' he sounded somewhat sceptical. 'I had heard of your youth and your power, even your hair of gold. I had not heard of your beauty.'

'Beauty does not define us, our actions do,' Clarke moved Lexa gently aside to grip the arms of both leaders. 'I am pleased you are here.'

'We cannot be anywhere else, for failure is death,' Mantu stated and Luna nodded. 'The Commander speaks highly of you.'

'And to me, of your beauty,' Luna teased softly, watching the Skaiprisa blush.

'What are your plans?' Clarke refocused the conversation, ignoring Millers look of amusement.

'Before we talk through our ideas I must ask...the people in Camp Jaha - they are your people. We must end this. Do you permit the end of this?' Lexa looked to her, as did the others. Indra's face was fierce as if she still expected a level of weakness from the Sky people, Miller looked distraught though his father had followed them and was safe, Peyo merely lowered his eyes to the plans as he waited for her decision. The two clan leaders waited without expectation.

'I do,' Clarke answered firmly. 'Let me hear your plan.'

'We do not attack the front gate,' Lexa began. 'We use Raven's gate. Our shooters and archers will wait in the trees. They will aim for those who have bombs, if they even have them. We will take the camp through numbers and force, sparing only those that wear the blue that marks them as allies.'

'It's a good plan,' Clarke nodded and Lexa seemed pleased, 'but I have a different one.'

'A different plan?' Indra's face let everyone know her opinion on that.

'Let the girl speak,' Luna gave Indra a sharp look.

'Sha. It is she who defeated the mountain the first time.'

'Speak freely Skaiprisa,' Lexa told her.

'Have they noticed Monty is gone?'

'No. Raven was awesome. She had a boy of similar size and shape take his place in the prison. The guards were loyal to you and so they council, they don't know anything,' Miller answered.

'And Monty is ok?'

'Sha. And loyal to you,' Lexa confirmed. 'Pleased to have been rescued.'

'Ok. So this is my plan. There is an old legend of Greece.'

'Greece?' Lexa frowned.

'A country that existed before the nuclear war. Maybe it still does. It was an ancient civilization, one of the first. They had a huge empire that they extended through war. It is a long story but they sought to take Troy, a walled and gated community that had never been defeated. Instead of bringing fire to the gates they built a wooden horse as a gift from the gods. The Trojans, they pulled that horse inside and spent an evening celebrating this clear sign that they would be victorious. Then they went to their beds and the Greek warriors who hid in the horse climbed out of it, silently slitting the throats of guards before opening the gate for their army. Troy fell.'

'Your people believe the gods would send a wooden horse?' Indra scoffed.

'Foolishness,' Mantu announced but Clarke shook her head, wincing at the pain it caused to radiate through her arm.

'No,' she stared at them. 'Listen. We have people inside that camp. We have Raven. We use her gate and sneak in, much as Lexa and Bellamy did to rescue Monty. A few of us dressed as people from the Ark. We arm the people inside that are on our side, and we covertly take out their guards and replace them with ours, without the Ark even realizing. Then when we attack the guards will turn their guns on the council and those that support this ridiculous plan. We can hold them prisoner.'

'They deserve death,' surprisingly from Luna, but everyone nodded except for Miller.

'And death will come to them, but I would not kill children who do not understand,' Clarke said clearly. 'And I would not risk those we didn't see who are loyal.'

'Would you kill your mother?' Lexa asked, words harsh but tone kind.

'The instigator of this lunacy I would kill. Of course I don't desire the death of my mom, but all she plans cannot be allowed to happen.'

'And if they fire on us?' Lexa tilted her head to the side.

'Then we fire back.'

'You cannot fight ai Prisa,' Lexa said softly, and this time she saw the look all Grounders in the tent aimed at their Commander.

'I know,' Clarke knew full well she'd be a liability.

'Indra?' Lexa turned to her trusted general.

'I like the Skaiprisa's plan. Even if it goes wrong we will have our army ready at both the front gate and Raven's gate.'

'When shall we do this?' Lexa turned back to Clarke who exchanged a look with Miller.

'Everyone is jumpy at night. If they hear us in the darkness, any hint of movement they'll shoot.'

'Just before dawn?' Clarke asked and Miller nodded,

'It's when the guard are most tired, most likely to sleep, we can blend in with people getting up.'

'And it gives Raven time to spread the word. Can we send her a message now?' Clarke asked and Miller nodded.

XOXOXOXO 

Clarke lay on Lexa's cot resting. She was surprised at her fatigue given that she had slept for so long. She was uncomfortable too and she feared for Lexa, Bellamy and Lincoln. The Commander had left after their meeting to discuss tactics for the Mountain with Bellamy and Lincoln. She would be back soon and Clarke longed for her return, certain sleep would find her if Lexa were by her side.

The soft movements of someone in the tent sometime later roused Clarke from her sleepiness and she reached for her dagger, swallowing her strangled cry of pain.

'Clarke, it is I,' Lexa's words were soft and after a moment she lit a couple of candles and perched on the edge of the cot, her hand hovering over Clarke awkwardly as if she wanted to rest it on her body but was unsure she should.

'How is Bellamy? And Lincoln?'

'They are fine. They will attempt to gain entry to the mountain tonight, in the early hours of the morning. They do not seek to be noticed. They will slip inside much like your wooden horse,' she smiled and Clarke couldn't help but smile back. Lexa got the story but not the nuances and that made her unbearably cute - for a Commander in armour, muddy from battle and with blood on her cheek. 'What?' Lexa clearly knew Clarke's brain was working hard as her blue eyes appraised her, and a blush rose to her cheeks under the grime of battle.

'Come to bed,' Clarke requested and saw Lexa swallow and her eyes darken letting Clarke know exactly what she was thinking. 'We need sleep. You need sleep,' she clarified because even though her mind had gone in the same direction it wasn't the time for that to happen. She wasn't even sure if she was ready for that yet.

'I am not thinking of sleep,' Lexa admitted the hovering hand landing on Clarke's thigh and searing the skin despite the material of her pants being in the way.

'Lexa,' Clarke couldn't help the breathy way she said the other girls name because her hand was so close to where a rhythm beat, a pulsing beat started by Lexa.

'I know,' Lexa swallowed again and closed her eyes, her palm moving up Clarke's leg before her long, strong fingers ran up the seam of her pants, right between her legs, trailing over the hammering pulse, right over where Clarke ached for her to stay. Lexa pushed her palm under Clarke's shirt and splayed it across her flat stomach. 'I know that this night is for sleep and for closeness, but I wish that it weren't.'

'It's early,' Clarke offered, suddenly not caring about readiness or fatigue, her eyes nearly black despite her hesitation only moments before. She put her left hand on Lexa's and pushed it south, just a little. Lexa smiled, her eyes dark and desperate but she easily resisted.

'When I do that I want all night Clarke. And I want you to want all of me. So I will wait,' she leaned forward and pressed her lips to Clarke's, causing a moan to escape from the girl beneath her. Lexa balled her hand, fighting the instinctive urge to claim Clarke as she was asking her to do, fighting her lust addled brain and remembering they were at war. Despite reminding herself of these things Lexa couldn't seem to stop kissing Clarke, especially not when Clarke wrapped her legs around her, attempting to draw her closer. Clarke could tell the moment that Lexa lost her will to resist, for her body shifted onto the cot, the Commander climbing on it to straddle her hips, her kiss hard and needy, hands smoothing under her top.

It was Clarke's fault. She reached for Lexa instinctively and the pain ripped through her. She couldn't help the soft cry and Lexa froze immediately. At once she was backing off of the cot and kneeling beside it, a hand on Clarke's head.

'I'm sorry,' she whispered pressing a kiss to Clarke's forehead.

'You're sorry I hurt myself because I was so desperate to hold you closer?' Clarke arched an eyebrow, attempting to lighten the situation because Lexa appeared some what devastated.

'I am not sorry you desired me close,' Lexa lost some of the worry. 'But you must heal. Nyko was worried about infection and further damage.'

'My body is so...so...Lexa,' she whimpered slightly and Lexa smiled,

'You think I am not similarly afflicted?'

'Please,' Clarke begged but Lexa shook her head,

'You must sleep and so must I. We rise early.'

'Can I at least watch you remove your armour and clothes?' Clarke asked with a pout and was overjoyed by Lexa's laugh. It was everything to her.

'Sha, though I do not sleep unbound when we are at war.'

'You're no fun,' Clarke's pout grew and with it so did Lexa's obvious joy.

'You would not have me ride into unexpected battle without a top on, entirely unbound?' Lexa faux scolded.

'Well now there's an image,' Clarke shut her eyes momentarily as she envisioned a topless Lexa riding a horse, cape billowing behind her. She found another moan on her lips.

'You are ridiculous,' Lexa laughed again, and Clarke couldn't help how proud she felt at causing the beautiful sound to spill from the Commander. Lexa stood and began removing her armour, eyes fixed on Clarke, watching blue eyes follow every movement.

'You are so beautiful,' Clarke couldn't stop the words spilling from her lips. Lexa didn't say anything but her cheeks turned red and her eyes fell from Clarke's as she focussed on her armour. 'I wish I could help you,' again the words came without thought, though they were true she realized. Lexa remained silent, and Clarke watched as she dropped the last of her armour to a chair before undoing her pants and pushing them off. Clarke didn't even notice her own tongue sneak out and wet her lips, or even the hammering of her heart as Lexa stood before her in a tank and underwear.

'You are making this really hard,' the Commander chided, her voice soft and amused.

'If I am not allowed to touch today, then I may as well look,' Clarke teased and Lexa conceded her point with a delicate shrug.

'You need rest,' she walked to the bed and lowered her head to Clarke's, blue eyes falling to soft lips which smirked before she stood, holding aloft the soft pants she'd retrieved from under her pillow.

'I believe it was you denying me what I wanted that had me leaving your bed the last time we attempted a sleepover,' Clarke offered up with a teasing smile and was yet again rewarded by a soft laugh,

'You think I don't know when someone teases me?' Lexa climbed onto the bed, over Clarke so that she lay against her uninjured side.

'I think you don't know when someone wants intimacy,' Clarke turned, rolling slightly onto her good arm so she could stare at Lexa. This desire, this greedy, physical need wasn't something she was used to. She'd liked Finn, but her focus had been strong and unbending. Lexa bent her so far that she couldn't focus. Clarke knew, from bitter personal experience, that Lexa's people always came first. That meant that whatever it was between them was second to the needs of her people. Of course Clarke was her people now, or so she had negotiated, but it was hard to believe Lexa would put a sky person over a member of the coalition, or a lover over any of her people. Not that Clarke would want her to. Part of her desire for the girl beside her stemmed from her utter loyalty to her people and the seriousness with which she took her role. She was amazing really, sacrificing the things she wanted for others and for the greater good. Clarke wondered where she and the sky people stood in the pecking order. Perhaps Lexa had a lot of lovers, or flirtations. Clarke knew she believed love was weakness. Or she said she did, but she didn't act that way. Clarke was pretty sure she knew what ai Prisa meant and she knew that the possessive "my" or "mine" in that phrase was a good indicator of Lexa's view of how things stood between them. Whatever Clarke had thought, all the things she'd misunderstood - such as being just a warm body, all the events she hadn't - such as the Mountain, there was something between her and Lexa, something that was consuming her rational thought, something that could shake her focus. Love wasn't a weakness, but for Clarke, Lexa was.

'Where did you go?' Lexa leaned on her elbow and brought her other hand to Clarke's cheek regaining her attention.

'You have to be ok tomorrow,' Clarke pushed herself closer, allowed Lexa to wrap an arm around her and pull her head to rest against her chest.

'Your plan is good,' she soothed, fingers combing through strands of gold.

'I need you to come back to me,' she struggled to put it into words.

'And I will ai Prisa.'

'Can the sky people join the coalition?' Clarke asked.

'That is a conversation for the table, not our bed,' Lexa explained calmly.

'But would you betray me and my people for the coalition?'

'Clarke,' Lexa chastised, leaning closer, hand moving from her face to rest on the hollow above the swell of her hip.

'Answer me, please?'

'No. We fight this war together.'

'We fought the last war together,' Clarke knew that Lexa was right, this wasn't the place for such a conversation but she couldn't seem to stop. 'You betrayed me then.'

'That was different,' Lexa was somehow managing to keep her voice soft, soothing.

'Was it?' Clarke was not. 'We fought a common enemy, we fought together. Our plans were made and you left me.'

'Not you Clarke,' Lexa squeezed Clarke's waist where her hand rested.

'This time what assurances do I have that you won't leave me and my people to die?'

'You have my word,' Lexa offered.

'I thought I had that before.'

'This time is different. If anyone is offered the chance to save their people and abandon the other it will be you.'

'Oh, so this conversation is pointless? You know I won't betray you and you...you simply won't have the opportunity to betray me.'

'I wouldn't blame you for abandoning us,' Lexa explained and Clarke felt the burning heat of anger throb through her.

'You know that I won't! That the stakes are too high. You're basically saying you won't betray me because there'll be no opportunity to do so.'

'I'm not,' Lexa insisted.

'You are. What if the council offered you control of the mountain and its missiles, offered their apologies in exchange for me and mine. What would you do?'

'You mean if they offered us a return to how it was only last week? Except the mountain would be under my control?'

'Yes.'

'I would take the deal,' Lexa frowned, not understanding why tears filled Clarke's eyes.

'So you would betray me?' Clarke interrupted.

'How is it a betrayal? It secures earth from the missiles. That is what you wish to do. It saves lives, reduces bloodshed and you and your people are back home.'

'I never said we'd be back home, I said we were part of the exchange.'

'They would not kill their own people,' Lexa shrugged, 'it is one of the reasons they have such a problem with us - think us savages. Your mother would not kill you.'

'Of course they would kill us. We are traitors, we've committed high treason. On the Ark they killed for the theft of food, for any minor infraction.'

'Oh,' Lexa dropped her head to her pillow. 'Then no, I...'

'Are you sure? Because a second ago you were handing me and my people to certain death despite all we'd done to help you.'

'I did not understand,' Lexa shrugged.

'Well then I'm glad we had this conversation in our bed, otherwise if that were offered you would have killed us.'

'All a leader can ever do is work with the information they have,' Lexa defended.

'I know that,' Clarke wished she could blink away the tears of frustration but they sat obstinately in her eyes. 'Do you not remember what I negotiated? In return for our help?'

'That you would be my people. That I could not betray you again,' Lexa stated clearly, her head creased with worry.

'And yet at the first opportunity to sell us out for your people, you said you'd do it. I want to be yours Lexa. I want my people to be yours. I want you to fight for them as you do for the others and if you are offered a deal like that I don't want you to hesitate to say no.'

'But it would end the war, which means I'd have to take it but...' Lexa said and Clarke rolled to her back.

'I should sleep somewhere else tonight,' was all she managed to say. 'A second ago you said you wouldn't take it...make up your mind and then let me know.'

'All I am saying is that this is a bloody and awful conflict. If I could hand you and the sky people to the Ark and gain control of the mountain and end it, then I would do so. However, knowing now that they would kill you, I would then merely threaten to blow them up if they did not hand you and your people back. Or I would take my army and claim you. I would betray them to win the war.'

'Claim me?' Clarke echoed, and Lexa went red.

'Yes, you,' her green eyes searched Clarke's face. 'Would I make a deal to save our people, all of us? Yes I would. Would I allow my people to die? Would I allow you to die? Nowe.'

'Nowe?'

'Never Clarke. You make me feel things I thought were weak, and yet when I feel them for you I feel strong. I feel like a god. I fight for my people, and I fight for you.'

'Lexa,' her name was mumbled, as she tried to shift closer. Lexa helped, wrapping an arm around her so her head was resting against her chest.

'I am sorry I upset you,' she soothed, kisses falling sporadically onto Clarke's head.

'I'm sorry I doubted you.'

'I understand why. But know that your people are mine, that you are mine and I will fight until my death for your survival.'

Up next : the world goes to hell...


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so the world went to hell in about three chapters worth, so I've split it into three chapters:-)
> 
> I would love to know what you think, and any and all theories of what may be coming...I have worked so hard on this and the next two chapters so feedback would really be great!
> 
> Thanks, Tabxx

**Chapter Seven**

Clarke awoke to find her face resting against the soft swell of Lexa's extremely perfect chest. There were certainly worse places to awaken, though Clarke hadn't yet found any better. Her whole body lurched at the thought of turning her face into the girl beneath her, of nipping her skin, and pushing her face into soft flesh. She wished her arm worked so that she could wrap Lexa in her embrace. Instead she swung her leg around the girl, pulling her close with the strength of her thighs. Lexa let out a soft hum, arms reaching up to hold Clarke closer.

'How did you sleep?' she asked the drowsy commander, well aware that she was waking her a little before necessary.

'Hmmm, good,' Lexa smoothed her hands over Clarke, carefully avoiding her wounded arm. 'You must always sleep in my bed.'

'Must I?' Clarke smiled in amusement.

'Hmmm,' Lexa agreed, face nuzzling the warm skin of Clarke's neck, soft kisses landing like the flutter of a butterfly's wings. 'You are soft and warm and smell so good,' Lexa murmured sleepily, hands finding the bare skin at Clarke's waist.

'I'm pretty sure I smell of dirt, blood and sweat,' Clarke mused but Lexa was apparently not interested,

'You smell of flowers, of fresh air and mint.'

'You chew mint leaves and so I do too,' Clarke answered arching her neck to give Lexa more room. 'Though I would love it if you could get my people and me toothbrushes and paste like you use?'

'Sha, of course,' Lexa pressed an open mouthed kiss to her neck clearly not interested in such mundanities, clearly far more interested in trailing her hand up Clarke's body in order to squeeze her breast, and pinch the nipple.

'Lexa,' the moan filled the pre dawn air and only spurned Lexa on, her body rolling half onto Clarke's, ever careful of the Skaiprisa and her injured shoulder, but apparently needy in the dawn hours, one thigh slipping between Clarke's, allowing for a perfect, delectable pressure, one returned by Clarke's thigh, resting against Lexa, so that when the Commander rocked her body, they both let out a sigh of relief. Clarke's left hand circled around Lexa, trailing over her back and down to her strong ass, feeling both skin and the material of her underwear as she pressed her hand there, encouraging Lexa to rock once more as she lifted her leg just enough to increase the pressure against her. Lexa didn't respond with words, just a breathy hum against Clarke's throat, as she trailed kisses down that slope of skin, her body rocking and her strong hand holding Clarke's breast, kneading softly.

'You wear too many clothes,' Lexa grumbled as her kisses met the fabric of Clarke's top.

'You want me to ride into battle without a top?' Clarke mocked flirtatiously.

'You do not ride into battle,' Lexa growled and raised herself up, holding Clarke's old shirt in her hands and ripping it up the middle.

'Fuck,' the little used curse slipped through her lips as Lexa stared down at her with dark eyes, two hands finding her breasts, slipping inside the cups of her bra, as she rocked harder against the girl beneath her. Her body was then once more descending to lie against Clarke's, her mouth latching onto a nipple as one hand trailed down and forced its way into the back of Clarke's pants. Clarke's body felt foreign to her. She was hot, the fast beat of her heart pounded throughout her and she couldn't think clearly, couldn't focus on anything but the need to have Lexa keep moving against her. She wanted the Commanders skin, sought it with her one good hand, smoothing over it, pinching, squeezing, using it to tug her closer, to encourage her to move, to keep pushing her body towards it's selfish goal, towards a euphoria at odds with war. Her hand slipped into Lexa's underwear, squeezed her ass, before travelling up and finding a cloth covered breast, smaller than her own but absolutely wonderful. She held it in her palm, squeezing harder than intended and Lexa moaned.

'Nodotaim,' she urged, rocking harder, faster.

'Hmmm,' Clarke agreed, having no clue what she meant.

'Again,' Lexa rasped and Clarke squeezed again, finding the hardened nipple and pinching it, rolling it, as Lexa continued to move. Clarke's body was so close, and it seemed Lexa was too, her breathing coming in short pants, her hands greedy and less careful as her lips found Clarke's and kissed her messily, 'Clarke,' she moaned her name and it was enough, Clarke's body tightening deliciously, everything feeling like it was centred between her legs where Lexa's thigh pressed,

'Lexa,' she urged and then her body fell, like it was sinking into quicksand, her head thrown back and a cry on her lips as the feelings rippled through her. She felt amazing, like a god, but she wanted to see Lexa come, wanted to see the Commanders face and so she forced her eyes open, only to be met with black eyes of the girl, as she rocked one last time before throwing back her head, a moan and curse words on her tongue, her body impossibly tight against Clarke's as she then lay fully against her, her face pressed tightly to Clarke's neck, her ragged breaths in her ear. For several moments they lay, breathing harsh, limbs entwined, then Lexa moved and pressed a long kiss to her lips. Clarke didn't know what to say and so she said nothing.

'Mochof ai Prisa,' Lexa moved her face to Clarke's chest, nuzzling her bare breast.

'Mochof ai Commander,' Clarke teased with a soft laugh, gasping when Lexa's teeth bit her nipple.

'You are mine, my princess,' she trailed kisses across pale skin.

'If I am yours, are you mine?'

'I wish to be yours, more than you know.'

'Then your wish is granted,' Clarke smiled, running her fingers through dark hair.

'You cannot grant such wishes in war, and most especially not after this moment. War does not allow for clarity of feelings and nor does the euphoria of intimacy.'

'Am I then to doubt your desire?'

'I have desired you from the moment I first saw you, and have wanted you since we first spoke. You cannot doubt me.'

'You're so sexy when you tell me how you feel.'

'And you are so mocking,' Lexa chided, unamused.

'I'm not mocking you. When you say things like that my stomach quite literally clenches and my heart beats harder for you.'

'Clarke...' Lexa raised her head and stared at her, eyes full of emotion,

'Heda,' Indra called softly from the outer part of the tent. Lexa scowled but called to her General,

'Sha?'

'We must leave soon,' she entered the sleeping area, eyes landing on the two girls, though she seemed unsurprised to see her Commanders head covering the Skaiprisa's bare chest. Indra averted her eyes and Lexa pulled a fur over Clarke. 'I am sorry. I shouldn't have entered.'

'We were awake,' Lexa pushed herself off of Clarke pressing one last kiss to her lips, standing and pushing off her sleeping pants before pulling on Clarke's old sky clothes again. 'Are the people who will enter the Ark with me ready?'

'Sha. And Miller has spoken to Raven only minutes ago. She has confirmed the time for the electricity to be turned off. Everyone has been reminded of their moves once inside the compound and which guards they target.'

'Ok, good. Give me one minute,' the Commander looked at Indra who nodded and exited the tent.

'I can't believe she walked in on us,' Clarke covered her face, feeling the cot dip as Lexa sat beside her, moving her hand away.

'She has always had permission to enter freely. She is the only one and will not talk of what she saw.'

'She still saw,' Clarke complained, but threaded her fingers through Lexa's. 'Help me put on a shirt so I can wait at the perimeter of the camp. I'll feel better once I know you're in and distributing weapons.'

'Ok,' Lexa pushed the fur from Clarke's body and ran a finger over each breast as she repositioned the cups of her bra. 'I want you so very much,' she murmured against her chest.

'When this is over,' Clarke reassured wrapping her arm around Lexa as she helped her to her feet. Gently, Lexa undid the sling and Clarke lowered her arm. Lexa found a tank of hers and pulled it onto Clarke, helping feed each arm into the holes before retying her sling. 'Thanks.'

'Wait,' Lexa moved to a trunk and dug around before pulling out a long leather cloak that was lined with fur. She secured it around Clarke. 'So you are not cold.'

'Thanks.'

'I must go. You have the final say while I am absent. Indra knows this, and Mantu and Luna will accept it. When Nia, the Kwin of Azageda arrives, you may have more trouble. She is part of the coalition but you cannot trust her.'

'Ok,' Clarke nodded.

'You trust me?'

'Yes, I trust you. Look after your self ai Heda.'

'And you ai Prisa,' Lexa pressed a gentle kiss to her lips before exiting her tent and joining those chosen for the mission.

There were eight of them who would slip into Camp Jaha. Lexa, wearing Millers old beanie hat and Clarke's clothes, looked unrecognizable as the Commander. There were five further Trikru warriors in the team, smaller and slighter individuals, in addition to Monroe and another of the one hundred Cam. As they moved silently through the forest Clarke followed with Miller and Indra. At the edge of the trees Lexa turned to Clarke.

'Give us the signal when the clock is at five.'

'Ok,' Clarke nodded and watched as Lexa and the others moved in shadows across to Raven's gate crouching down beside the wire of the fence waiting for her signal. 'Has Raven made contact?'

'Not for ten minutes.'

'Check with her,' Clarke requested as she stared at the minute hand of her watch inch onto the three minutes to twelve.

'Nothing,' Miller shrugged. 'Maybe she has ears on her. Didn't stop her turning of the electricity last time. She has it looking like she's playing with scrap she said. Tapping on a radio might be more suspicious.'

'Ok. One more time,' Clarke watched Miller tap into the radio, listening to the tapping in response.

'All go for five sharp,' Miller confirmed and so Clarke watched the seconds tick by and then as the minute hand hit the twelve, she waited a further thirty seconds and then raised her hands and her eyes.

There was absolute silence and Clarke watched the movement at Ravens gates. At first it was hard to see anything and she thought that they were perhaps already in. She'd just sighed a sigh of relief when the sparks lit up the dawn. The sparks sent her heart racing and her mind into a blind, unthinking panic, a panic that doubled when she saw something, a dark shape, fall backwards from the fence. Clarke wasn't sure how she managed to not cry out, to not yell Lexa's name and start screaming, for she had no doubt that it was Lexa and she was absolutely certain that she was dead.

She didn't need to tell Miller to contact Raven as she sped across the distance between her and Lexa. She didn't stick to the shadows, she didn't care of she were spotted and shot, she only cared about reaching the group who had dragged the body behind a bush. Monroe was hyperventilating but Clarke didn't even see her, or the Trikru who were speaking in hushed, stressed whispers, an uncharacteristic panic in their eyes. All that they said meant nothing to her. She only cared about Lexa, who was on the ground, eyes shut, deathly still, skin pale.

'Monroe,' she whispered harshly and the girl looked at her, face wet with tears and shaking, 'pump her heart now,' Clarke had immediately began pumping on Lexa's chest with her one hand. 'Monroe,' she spoke louder in her panic, but Monroe nodded,

'Ok,' she put her hand where Clarke's were.

'Pump hard five times, then I'll blow air into her mouth, ok?' Clarke had to make her heart beat, had to make her breathe.

'Ok,' Monroe nodded as she pumped.

'You,' she gestured to one of the Trikru, Dalton she thought his name was, 'tilt her head back gently.'

He nodded and at once tilted her head back and as Monroe finished the compressions Clarke sealed her mouth over Lexa's and blew. When Monroe restarted compressions she turned to Cam.

'Go and get Miller. Make sure he's carrying the Ark guard baton his father gave him. Go now.'

The boy didn't even respond just ran for the tree line as Monroe continued pumping and Clarke breathing for Lexa.

'Please Lexa, please,' Clarke didn't even know that she whispered the words over and over, smoothing dark hair between her fingers as Monroe pumped her heart.

'Oh fuck,' Miller cursed as he saw the Commander lying still on the floor, everyone poised around her in silence. Clarke breathed into Lexa's mouth and then held out her hand,

'Give me your stun stick,' she barked in a whisper and Miller placed it in her left hand. 'Ok, after the next time I breathe for her everyone take your hands off,' she instructed. Monroe finished her compressions and Clarke breathed into Lexa's mouth and when she pulled back she pressed the button and pressed it to Lexa's chest. The body of the Commander jolted and Clarke dropped the baton and reached for her wrist. 'Nothing,' she rasped after a moment and Monroe began compressions again. 'After my next breath hands off,' Clarke said again and breathed for Lexa before grabbing the baton, pressing the button and then pressing it to Lexa's chest again. She dropped it once more and reached for Lexa's wrist.

'Faint pulse,' she said and burst into tears, 'double check for me...Miller. Someone double check,' she begged through tears. She held her hand on her head trying not to do a lot of things such as cry harder, panic, burst into the Ark and kill them all. She had to try and breathe though because her chest hurt, and it was hard to drag air into her lungs. The Trikru stared at Clarke, and then at the Commander who's chest rose and fell, then back at Clarke, a look of awe on their faces that Clarke couldn't see.

'There's a pulse,' Miller confirmed.

'Carry her back to her tent carefully. Stay in the shadows. I'm going to hold her wrist all the way. If I say stop, you stop and Monroe you pump her chest and I'll breathe for her. Miller bring the baton and find out from Raven what the hell happened.'

To Clarke it felt like it took hours to make it back to Lexa's tent, each second soaked in anxiety that Lexa's heart may stop again. In reality the journey only took a few short minutes. Lexa's pulse remained, along with a gentle rise and fall of her chest, the only two things Clarke cared about. She allowed the Trikru to worry about the safe route. She was relieved that most of the army slept, all aside from those on guard and she was pretty sure that the Trikru warriors knew exactly when to keep their mouths shut.

'Put her on the bed,' Clarke half barked as she hunted through her stuff for a torch she knew she had. She moved to Lexa, sitting beside her and holding her hand for a moment as she watched her chest rise and fall, unsure whether her heart stopping again should be a concern or not. With a sick dread in her stomach she looked to Monroe, 'you need to shine this light in her eyes when I hold back her eyelids back, ok?'

'Why?' Monroe nodded.

'To make sure her brain's not dead,' Clarke learned across and reached for Lexa's eyes, ignoring the people crowded around her as she raised the lid and Monroe shone the torch into it. She slumped with relief as the pupil reacted. She repeated it with the other eye and again the pupil reacted. 'Monroe,' Clarke looked to girl. 'Watch her. You and Jac,' she looked for her grounder guard who appeared from the mass of bodies filling the tent. 'If she stops breathing you pump her heart Monroe, and Jac - you breathe for her. Ok?' They both nodded.

'What happened?' Indra's sharp angry voice filled the tent.

'The fence wasn't turned off so she was electrocuted when she touched it,' Clarke didn't move her eyes from Lexa.

'Electrocuted?' Indra frowned.

'Electricity passed through her body and stopped her heart, sent it into fibrillation.

'She's dead?' Indra was horrified, eyes wide, jaw slack.

'No, she's ok, we pumped her heart and breathed for her until I shocked her heart back into beating. Like my mother did for Lincoln. She's ok,' Clarke hoped that she wasn't lying.

With one last look at sloping cheekbones, smooth skin and beautiful pouting lips she moved so that Monroe and Jac could sit beside Lexa. She turned to Indra,

'We must talk,' she nodded to the tent exit, then turned to the others in the tent. 'Everyone out except Dalton. You come find me in Millers tent if she stops breathing. You know where that is?'

'Sha,' he nodded.

'Immediately,' she said and he nodded once more.

It felt so wrong to leave Lexa when all she wanted to do was lie by her side until she awoke, or hopefully awoke, but they had bigger problems. Clarke swallowed her fear and panic down and turned to another Trikru guard, Arlo.

'Arlo, please get Lincoln, Peyo and Octavia if she is well enough. Also Mantu kom Sankru and Luna kom Floukru. I shouldn't have to tell you to speak to no one about what has happened, but please do remember the importance of silence?'

'I understand,' Arlo nodded.

'I need all of them, or as many as possible in Millers tent, as quickly as you can.'

Miller and Indra followed her as she strode from the tent and walked the short distance to his. They moved inside and she looked around. It was small with only a cot and a table where he and Bellamy sat to radio Raven.

'Anything from Raven?'

'Not yet,' Miller had been tapping non stop on the radio.

'What the fuck happened,' she sunk to the cot, not caring about appearing weak in front of Indra, Indra who knew more than others about how Clarke felt for the Commander. For several long moments she focussed on her breathing, rising only when she heard the rustle of the canvas, stealing herself. She watched as Peyo helped Octavia in. The girl had been brought to the perimeter camp the day before. She looked pale and worried,

'They're saying that someone is dead?' she whispered, and Clarke felt annoyed at the lack of discretion. Octavia moved into the tent standing way too close to Clarke who just needed space.

'Lexa was hurt but she's ok. She isn't dead,' she responded though she had no idea how alive she actually was.

'What happened?' Peyo shook his head. 'How is Heda?'

'Alive,' Clarke barked. 'Raven confirmed that the electricity would be off and it wasn't. She was shocked and her heart stopped but she's ok.'

'Will her spirit have left her?' Indra's frown irritated her.

'Not a chance,' she stated with such certainty that Indra nodded,

'Heda is strong,' she agreed.

'Not a word of what happened at the fence to Mantu or Luna. Anything from Raven? Or from Lincoln and Bellamy?' Clarke looked to Miller. Miller's dad was positioned near the mountain where he would communicate with Lincoln and Bellamy. Messages would be relayed to Harper at the midpoint in TonDC and then back to Miller.

'It was stupidly easy. They have this guard Max guarding the tunnel doors. Idiot, Bell knew him from the Ark - power hungry and mean, but an idiot. Those guarding the tunnels have to head in opposite directions up the tunnel every fifteen minutes. Bellamy and Lincoln they put some bottles of Grounder...I mean Trikru,' he flushed slightly at the slip, 'alcohol there with some of those hallucinogenic nuts ground up in it. Max, he sees the bottles on a walk and doesn't hesitate to suggest a drink with his guard buddy. An hour later and Lincoln and Bellamy, kitted out in Ark guard clothing are radioing in for a toilet entrance. Doors open and they're in. They even radioed and said they were back on guard. Smoothest damn thing ever. The entrance wasn't land mined exactly like the Commander thought, I guess they decided it was too risky as the tunnels might collapse.'

'So they're in,' Clarke felt relieved and worried, because she really didn't want anything to happen to either of them but she did trust them.

'What do we do now?' Indra looked to Clarke. 'We must still take the Ark,' her words were forceful.

'Not the way we planned,' Clarke frowned, as Millers radio sounded with dozens of clicks. 'What's she saying?'

'Shhh,' Miller shot her a look and they all waited in silence as Miller noted down Ravens messages.

'Nathen,' Clarke beseeched when the clicks became less frantic and then those coming from Raven stopped all together.

'She's sorry. Someone saw her with the radio and she had to run. They know she's a traitor.'

'Fuck,' Clarke swore, at the same time as Indra cursed in Tridegasleng.

'Oh it gets worse.'

'Worse than Raven in danger? She's our person on the inside...our way in.'

'She's turned the electricity off so we still have a way in and she's safe, hopefully. She's sneaking out, so maybe get someone to meet her,' he looked to Peyo who nodded and slipped from the tent without a word.

'You said it was worse? How is it worse?' Clarke looked to Miller who was sweaty and looked quite ill,

'The missiles. They're online and the Ark has control of them.'

XOXOXOXO 

All hell had broken out in the room, tempers flaying as people made suggestions that were shot down with anger and contempt. Clarke needed to bring control but she felt a panic similar to them all. Mantu and Luna had arrived shortly after Miller's revelation and been informed that Lexa was in TonDC, and then told the catastrophic news. Luna was calm, urging them to focus, but Mantu flipped out, his anger the driving force behind the negative and panicked energy in the room.

'This gets us no where,' Clarke bellowed. 'Raven will be here any moment and we will discuss things further with her.'

'We need Heda,' Mantu glowered.

'Her departure makes no sense,' Luna also frowned. 'I thought she planned to sneak into Camp Jaha?'

'She did, but given what occurred with the fence it is just as well she did not,' Indra shouted.

'What we need is to calm down. Do you not trust the Commander?' Clarke stood tall, her voice menacing. 'She knows what she's doing and if she seeks to aid our allies in the Mountain then that is where she should be. We are here and we have information we need to work with. Seeing who can yell the loudest does not solve this situation. Let us think.'

'Sha, Skaiprisa,' Luna nodded and even Mantu fell to silence as the flaps to the tent were pushed aside and Peyo entered, Raven behind him. She was muddy, thin and she looked devastated.

'Raven,' Clarke stood at once and hugged the girl as tight as she could with one working arm. 'Thank you, thank you so much.'

'Was it the Commander?' she breathed into Clarke's ear.

'Yes but she's ok, I hope she's ok,' she whispered back.

'I'm so sorry Clarke,' Raven stepped back and covered her eyes.

'You have done so much for us, don't be sorry,' Clarke reassured. 'Do you need food? Water?'

'Ren brings some for us all,' Peyo announced.

'Can you tell us what happened?' Clarke asked gently and Raven nodded. Raven was led to the table which now had more than two chairs and was sat gently into one. 'Raven this is Mantu from the Sand clan and Luna of the Boat people. We are expecting further leaders tomorrow. They are trusted. You've met Peyo and Indra.'

'Hi,' Raven gave them all a look but when she spoke, she spoke to Clarke. 'Some man loyal to your mom has been watching me for days, but the guys an idiot. He's done the whole intimidation thing, verbally threatening me, calling for people to arrest me as a traitor but they had nothing. He cornered me this morning when I left my tent to get to the gate. You radioed to confirm and at that point I was fine, the gate would have been off. Didn't realize this asshole was following me. He saw the radio and called to the guards outside the councils sleeping area. They began to chase me, but of course they were between me and the gate switch. I'm so sorry.'

'It's ok, everyone is ok. You're ok.'

'Well the electricity is off and hopefully they won't notice so you can get in but it's a risk I guess.'

'You did great,' Clarke reassured her.

'I, uh, I found who shot you,' Raven stated and all eyes in the room swung to Clarke's arm.

'Friend or foe?' she arched an eyebrow.

'Friend...I think,' Raven rubbed her face. 'It was Murphy.'

'Murphy?' Octavia scowled.

'He said he was aiming for your mom. Put up a pretty convincing Murphyesq argument as to why he thinks she's a fucking lunatic. Hard not to believe him when I feel the same. I gave him the radio because he was there and I was caught and it was a chance. I don't knew whether we can risk using it or not. I wanted to believe him Clarke and he did help me get away, caused a distraction, sent the guards the other way. He doesn't know about the gate, I bet he thinks I'm hiding in camp. I kept everything secret.'

'Who is this Murphy?' Mantu asked. Clarke was quickly learning that many Grounders would listen and then ask questions unlike her Ark counterparts who seemed keen to interrupt frequently.

'Murphy - how to describe Murphy. He's untrustworthy because he is loyal to those who give him the most power. He has murdered some of our people, and is badly power hungry. He's dangerous. But he was with...with Finn, a Sky boy who shot innocents at a village and he tried to stop him and yet...another time he returned to our camp with a fever designed to kill us. He has redeeming qualities but it's very hard to trust him.'

'Maybe we can use him?' Luna suggested and Clarke nodded before catching Raven up to date on plans thus far, and the status of Bellamy and Lincoln's mission.

XOXOXOXO 

Clarke raised her head from the ongoing discussion about how best to proceed, feeling as though she were floundering despite playing an equal part with all those involved, including Mantu and Luna. At a cough from the tent flaps they all fell silent and Clarke turned to see the Trikru warrior from Lexa's tent stood there. She thought she might faint, all blood draining from her as an unearthly fear gripped her heart which inexplicably hurt, as though it had been severed in two.

'We need you for a moment Skaiprisa,' he stated and she nodded, swallowing thickly as she caught Indra's eye. Trying to stop her body shaking she left the tent.


	8. Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Earth continues to go to hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so this chapter...well it's important...and difficult. I spent a lot of time writing it and am unbelievably nervous about posting it...
> 
> Things to remember:
> 
> 1/They didn't kiss before the battle of Mount Weather - not super relevant to this chapter but keep it in mind.
> 
> 2/Head over heart
> 
> 3/There's always a reason - for every thing that occurs in this story there is some sort of relevance - sometimes huge, sometimes tiny.

**Chapter Eight**

_Clarke raised her head from the ongoing discussion about how best to proceed, feeling as though she were floundering despite playing an equal part with all those involved, including Mantu and Luna who had both queried the whereabouts of Lexa. Clarke didn't want to cause panic and so she had lied, said that Lexa was travelling to the mountain to assist Bellamy and Lincoln. At a cough from the tent flaps they all fell silent and Clarke turned to see the Trikru warrior from Lexa's tent stood there. She thought she might faint, all blood draining from her as an unearthly fear gripped her heart which inexplicably hurt._

_'We need you for a moment Skaiprisa,' he stated and she nodded, swallowing thickly as she caught Indra's eye. Trying to stop her body shaking she left the tent._

Clarke followed the Trikru warrior from Miller's tent without speaking, the thudding of her heart too loud. She felt sickness rise in her stomach and she thought she might fall but the man gripped her arm,

'She's awake,' his joy and relief were evident. 'I didn't mean to scare you. I know you said come if she dies, but she asks for you and I...'

'You did the right thing,' she quickened her pace until she was running the last few feet and entering Lexa's tent. She moved quickly through to the sleeping area, ignoring both Monroe and Jac, eyes only for Lexa who was sitting up in the bed, skin pale. 'Lexa,' she called and the commander looked to her. Clarke wasn't entirely proud of her next move, though she didn't blame herself. She climbed over Lexa and onto the cot so she was kneeling beside her, as she then pressed her face into her warm, fresh smelling neck. Lexa wrapped an arm around her, face pressed against her neck as well.

'I'm ok,' she whispered, 'you saved me, again.'

'I nearly didn't manage to,' she admitted only aware there were tears in her eyes when Lexa rubbed a thumb under one brushing away the wetness.

'Gon we, beja,' Lexa said softly to Jac and Clarke was only vaguely aware of Jac leading Monroe from the tent. 'Clarke I'm ok.'

'Your heart stopped.'

'Jac said you breathed for me and the girl, she beat my heart for me.'

'Yes,' Clarke burrowed deeper into Lexa's neck.

'Clarke, tell me what went wrong?'

'I think I just need to revel in your aliveness for a moment,' Clarke lay down, tangling her legs with Lexa's, resting her head on her chest where she could listen to the steady beat of her heart and then sighed, 'Raven was discovered. She ran to escape them, she managed to disable the fence but too late for you. She's with us now. She left her radio with someone we hope is loyal. The person who tried to shoot my mother, or so they say.'

'Who?' Lexa clearly wanted to look at her, but Clarke couldn't make herself leave Lexa's arms just yet.

'Murphy.'

'That traitorous thug shot you?' Lexa growled.

'Shhh, calm,' Clarke urged pressing soft kisses to her throat.

'That does not make me calm,' Lexa pointed out and Clarke could hear her smile.

'Murphy's changed a lot Lex - he tried to stop Finn at the village. He doesn't like me but he hates my mother and the council, and he looks up to Bellamy. Raven wants to trust him, and I guess we could, though I doubt that the way in which he might help won't be the way we want him to?'

'It is very easy for him to say he shot you by mistake. Perhaps he really is good at convincing people he is on their side.'

'I would say that is a true assessment. But he helped Raven escape, and that does go in his favour.'

'Doesn't mean he's on our side,' Lexa's arm tightened around Clarke and she let out a sharp breath as the Skaiprisa nipped at the skin on her neck.

'So we don't trust him but maybe we can use him to double cross the Ark?' Clarke looked at her for a moment, before kissing her jaw,

'Maybe,' Lexa nodded, arching her neck to make things easier on Clarke. 'Tell me of Bellamy and Lincoln.'

'I told Mantu and Luna you were with them,' kiss, 'we will say you got as far as TonDC when you were informed,' Clarke stopped her kisses and buried her face back in Lexa's neck for a moment, overwhelmed by the situation.

'Informed of what?' Lexa asked and Clarke looked at her, her face serious, distressed.

'That the Ark has control of the missiles.'

'They have control of the missiles?' Lexa echoed and Clarke sat up properly, her eyes remaining locked on Lexa's.

'We hope that they can't use them as we have the Ark separated off and they would risk their people, but we're scared they'll use them on a village or town to make a show of power, to bargain for the rest of their people. We have to go in to Camp Jaha the way we planned Lex, but I'm not sure how Jaha will retaliate in the mountain should we take the Ark. He may fire the missiles in a last act of rebellion. Every way I work it they fire the missiles and we kill the Ark. We won't give up our hold on the Ark if he doesn't give us the missiles and vice versa. He must know that he has alot of the power, but we have some too. It's a mess and no one can agree on what we should do.'

'Ok Clarke, it is ok. I am ok to come to meet with everyone. We must discuss this further,' Lexa nodded. 'Though I wish to change my clothes. These smell of death and I cannot meet the other clan leaders dressed like this.'

'You didn't die,' Clarke clung a little tighter. 'And you smell like Lexa.'

'I'm pretty sure I need a bath but I'll settle for clean clothes.'

'I want to help you change. Don't make me leave you,' Clarke hated how needy she was but Lexa did die. It may have been for only a moment but she was dead.

'Help me?' Lexa arched a perfect brow and Clarke felt her cheeks burn. 'I am able to dress myself. Aside from a burn to my hand I am feeling ok. I'm only tired but there is no time for tiredness.'

'Your hand?' Clarke sat up and stared at the Commander, reaching for her hand and seeing burnt fingers. She must have looked crestfallen because Lexa shook her hand free,

'It is only small. You were more concerned with my heart than my hand.'

'I will bandage the wound,' Clarke announced.

'One handed?' Lexa seemed amused.

'Yes. And I want to help you dress not because you need help but because I wish to touch you, to be close.'

'You want to touch me?' Lexa was most definitely amused.

'Yes,' Clarke sat up and stared down at the commander.

'Why?' Lexa asked with a smirk.

'Because you have a beautiful, strong body with these abs of steal, and dark hair, these amazing green eyes and lips that beg for my kiss. Your breasts are perfect and I long to press my face against them and run my hands up your bare thighs...'

'Pleni,' Lexa half growled. 'Again you mock me,' Lexa had a laugh on her lips but it didn't fall, because her feral, desire heavy eyes were fixed on Clarke as she pressed her thighs together,

'I am teasing you,' Clarke curled back into Lexa who held her tightly. 'But it's all true.'

'We better not be dead when this war is at an end, because I wish for you to do those things,' she whispered into Clarke's ear. 'I have many things I wish to do with you.'

'Good,' Clarke pressed one last kiss to Lexa's throat before rolling off her her and clambering awkwardly off the bed. 'We must go.'

'I know,' Lexa stood and pulled off her clothes until she was stood only in bindings and underwear, and her eyes fell to Clarke who was staring at her like she was a predator and Lexa her prey. 'You may not touch Clarke or the whole world will explode for I will never leave this tent and I will keep you here with me.'

'I want to touch but I don't want the world to explode. Although it did shake a little this morning and that wasn't bad at all,' Clarke smirked as she watched Lexa smile as she unwound her bindings, Clarke's tongue sneaking out to moisten her lips as she fought the desperate desire to step right into Lexa's personal space. Clarke focused on the skin Lexa revealed, wondering at the beauty of it. She wanted to touch her so very badly, a desperation she hadn't before felt for another. She had fallen for people before, but never before had it been so entirely overwhelming. She had forgiven Lexa for everything that occurred at the mountain. It still caused her fear but she trusted the other girl entirely and she only felt right, whole, when they were together. Clarke stepped nearer as the binding fell and Lexa gave her a look.

'You mustn't,' she stated and Clarke nodded, both hands balled into fists, even the one strapped to her chest. Lexa retrieved a new binding and fresh underwear and Clarke watched, stomach clenched, heart pounding and distinct wetness between her legs as Lexa pushed off her underwear. The hair there was neat and dark and Clarke was consumed with the desire to drop to her knees before the Commander and push her face between her legs, something she had never done before, but was extremely appealing. It was a feral, base instinct that brought a moan to her lips. Lexa's head snapped to her as she pulled on her new underwear.

'What's wrong with me?' Clarke asked, stepping closer. 'I want you so much.'

'Then you know how hard I find it to resist you.'

'We might die Lexa. We may all die. Please,' she boldly reached for the Commander and trailed her hand between her legs, feeling dampness there that had her biting her lip in a bid to control herself. Lexa moaned but her hand caught Clarke's wrist.

'It would be a shame if we died because we were too busy doing what we want to do most just in case we die.'

'I know,' Clarke resisted Lexa's grip and placed her hand on Lexa's side, trailing it up before looking to her, 'just once, beja?'

'Sha,' Lexa's breathing was harsh as Clarke raised her hand until she held soft, beautiful, plump flesh in her hand. She squeezed, a little harder than she liked but Lexa had seemed to like it hard that morning. Clarke wasn't disappointed when the Commander moaned and her eyes fluttered closed. Emboldened she squeezed again and then pinched a dark nipple, before leaning forward and pressing her face against the other perfect breast. 'Clarke,' Lexa's voice was deep and needy, but she took a step back, her eyes shut as she sought to control herself. Clarke's hand and face fell from Lexa's body and she stared at the other girl, who finally opened her eyes. 'We must go.'

'I know,' Clarke nodded and took a step back. 'No touching like you said.'

'Sha,' Lexa nodded also talking a step back.

XOXOXOXO 

They had been debating for a long time Jac appeared at the tent entrance.

'Heda, Nia, Kwin kom Azageda,' he stated and Lexa nodded, her expression hardening just slightly. Clarke longed to comfort her, well aware of the strains in Lexa's relationship with the Queen, but she knew Lexa would not want to appear weak and so she sent her a look, one she acknowledged with a nod.

The woman entered with a burst of air, her whole presence one of import, a long cloak, dark hair in some complicated arrangement, and the whole combat gear thing the Grounders rocked, all amped up by fur. She was older than Clarke had imagined, a woman closer to her mother's age than Lexa's and she seemed to be just as power hungry in Clarke's opinion. She couldn't help but feel the Queen tried to hard to look more powerful and important than Lexa but failed because it was too overstated, too grand, and Lexa exuded a natural strength and power. Greetings were made and then the Queen turned to those from the Sky.

'You must be the Skaiprisa, Klark kom Skaikru,' she tilted her head as she appraised her. 'I have heard much about you.'

'And I you,' Clarke stated a little pointedly.

'And we are to trust that you truly do not support your people? I have been told it is your mother who drives this plan?'

'I do not support genocide. I do not support killing thousands. I support reason.'

'Then I shall try and be reasonable,' the Queen appeared amused.

'These are my people,' Clarke gestured, 'Miller, Octavia and Raven.'

'It is good to meet so many of these newcomers,' the Queen stated, though it didn't sound entirely sincere, and strode to the table. 'Tell me where we are and what must be done.'

Indra spoke at length about where they had reached and the issues they debated. She was mid sentence when the radio Miller held crackled to life,

'This is Abby Griffin, Chancellor of the Ark. We have missiles pointed at all major towns for one hundred miles. Send Clarke to the gate to talk.'

Lexa strode to the table furious and grabbed the radio from Miller's hand,

'I press this?' she asked and he nodded. 'This is the Commander. You have missiles but we can still kill you all. You can not kill my army without killing yourselves because we are too close. Give me one good reason why we should not come and kill you all?'

'My finger is not on the trigger, but I assure you there are twenty good reasons not to kill us all at Jaha's fingertip in Mount Weather. You kill us and you slaughter your people,' Abby sounded just as angry. Lexa looked to Clarke, a question in her eyes. Clarke nodded,

'Clarke will come speak with you to end this madness but she will not come alone. I will also be there.'

'Just Clarke,' Abby's voice stated with finality and Lexa actually growled which Clarke found ridiculously arousing, despite the utter tenseness of the situation.

'I'll go,' Clarke wasn't scared of walking into the enemies nest - she'd done it many times.

'You talk outside the gate,' Lexa barked, eyes fixed on the Skaiprisa.

'Deal,' Abby stated and the radio went dead.

'I believe we know who Murphy was aiming for,' Lexa stated as she turned to Clarke. 'He gave the radio to your mother.'

'Perhaps he was trying to prompt some peace talks?' Clarke offered.

'He cannot be trusted,' Lexa thundered.

'No, I know that. I'm just saying we don't know for sure what happened,' Clarke coughed then, suddenly aware of the others in the tent staring between Lexa and her.

'No. Here, you take my dagger so she knows we are with you, that we stand together.'

'Heda,' Indra began to protest but Lexa silenced her with a glare.

'I'll be fine,' Clarke could see the worry in Lexa's eyes, eyes that flicked over her face.

'Beja, ai Prisa,' she whispered, her hand finding Clarke's and placing the dagger in it.

'Ok,' Clarke nodded and moved to the exit aware that Raven was talking to Octavia, about her and Lexa she was sure, as all of them followed her. She stopped abruptly and whistled for her horse, waiting.

'What?' Raven asked and Octavia just shrugged with a smirk,

'Wait till you see...' she trailed off as the large horse trotted up.

'Clarke, you literally become more awesome every day,' Raven stated.

'Should you really ride with your arm?' Octavia fretted.

'Yes,' Clarke looked to Lexa who put her hands on Clarke's hips lifting her enough so she could slip her foot in the stirrup and swing her leg over. Clarke leaned forward and patted the horses neck, 'don't get enough time these days do we,' she cooed to the animal. She turned to Lexa who looked amused,

'You're fond of your horse,' she smiled.

'I am,' she nodded. 'Fond of you too,' she placed her hand on Lexa's. 'I'll see you soon.'

'We'll have guns and arrows on you I promise,' she turned her hand palm up. 'I promise Clarke.'

'Ok,' Clarke nodded and moved her hand to the reigns.

XOXOXOXO 

'Hi mom,' Clarke stared at her mother, ignoring the guns pointed at her from behind her mother on the platforms surrounding the gate.

'How is your arm Clarke? Are you ok?'

'My arms ok. Murphy shot me you know?' she watched her mother's expression tighten. 'I wouldn't blame him though because there's a small chance he was aiming for you.'

'I see you're still acting like a child,' Abby rolled her eyes.

'Well according to you I am one, so I figure why not?'

'Will you at least get off that ridiculous animal?' Abby's hands were on her hips.

'Can't do that with one arm mom,' Clarke pointed out.

'So I have to talk up to you?' Abby was less than impressed.

'I guess so,' Clarke arched her eyebrows.

'You planned this,' she shook her head in disgust.

'Funnily enough I didn't plan any of this mom,' Clarke sighed. 'I just wanted to stop you killing thousands of people.'

'Look Clarke, come back to us. Bring those who left with you and we can end this. The Grounders can do nothing because we have control of the missiles. They have no control Clarke. We've won.'

'Do you still plan to use the missiles?' Clarke stared at her mother.

'Surely you can see where I'm coming from now? How many were killed when they tried to take the Mountain? You're prolonging the inevitable. We cannot live on earth with these people. This is cleaner, kinder. We can spend the next twenty years at war or we can accept the inevitable. Think about it...'

'I have thought about it,' Clarke narrowed her eyes. 'We're at war because I've thought about it. Have you? Have you really, really thought about it?'

'Clarke this will never end. We'll be fighting forever. No peace can exist between us and these people . They are brutal and savage, and they'll all die whether it is one by one or all at once. Think of what we can do with the earth when they are all gone. It will be as we dreamed for all those years in space. The chance to forge a new existence, a new civilization, better than all that have come before.'

'Do you really believe a better civilization can be forged through the deaths of so many? Can you really build a future for our people on the blood of others?'

'Blood will be spilled Clarke. It's either theirs or ours and as a true leader I pick theirs. Our people aren't safe, and those people,' Abby gestured as she grew angrier, 'they're our enemy. In any war there are winners and losers, those who survive and those who die. Your blood doesn't need to be spilt Clarke.'

'So I wouldn't be punished for my crimes? My people wouldn't be punished?' she stared down at her mother who's face hardened.

'You could avoid death but treason cannot go unpunished,' Abby stated. 'But this isn't the Ark and we don't need to kill our people.'

'Just theirs,' Clarke stated pointedly.

'Think about it Clarke. You've led these people down this path. Is what you're promising them really attainable? Can you really hope to assimilate with these violent people? They wage war after war. You are responsible for those lives Clarke and I'm offering a way to save them.'

'So we'll have our lives but not our freedom?'

'Yes. And perhaps freedom will come?'

'You promise me that?'

'I promise to do what I can,' Abby told her. 'You're my daughter and I love you.'

'I love you too mom. But you can't just promise me. What about Bellamy? Octavia? Raven?'

'I can't save everyone,' Abby looked at the ground and then up at Clarke, 'So will you come?'

'Can I do anything, say anything, anything at all that will stop you firing those missiles?'

'Come home and we'll talk.'

'Do you mean that?'

'I want you to come home Clarke, more than anything. Prison is better than dead and yes, we will fire probably those missiles eventually because even though you can't see it, it's the right thing to do.'

'Right,' Clarke nodded, 'When?'

'When I have you safe.'

'How can I be safe? Our people will put me and all the others on trial. I face certain death for treason.'

'There is a chance,' Abby shrugged. 'I am chancellor.'

'I have to go,' Clarke stared at her mother, 'I'm sorry.'

'Sorry?'

'I may have to kill you to end this and I'm sorry. You're my mom.'

'Clarke,' Abby yelled. 'Think about it.'

'Ok, I will,' she lied to buy them time. 'Goodbye mom.'

XOXOXOXO 

Lexa met her at the tree line, the other guards, leaders and Skaikru at a distance. Clarke swung her leg over the horse and leaned down allowing Lexa to reach up and pluck her off the horse. She sunk into warm, strong arms, head on the Heda's shoulder.

'Are you ok?'

'No. She plans to fire the missiles Lexa. She won't be talked out of it - she is obsessed that we'll never be free from danger if she doesn't. She wants me to return to her, me and the others. She says we may avoid death but she lies, she just wants to break our alliance with you. I know that she will not order my death but it will be done, and the others don't stand a chance. I think she wants to try and save me and punish the others. You say everyone has a weakness and for my mother I'm it, right? This wasn't a talk to find peace, she was trying to save me. With or without me they'll destroy us eventually. I said I'd think about it to buy us time, so we have to come up with a plan. We have to.'

'We will, Clarke, we will,' Lexa held her close, before tilting her head and pressing her lips gently to Clarke's, a soft, tender kiss that should have been over quickly but lasted way longer than Clarke would ever have expected considering the other people who could surely see. Lexa's hand held Clarke close as their tongues tangled. 'I will not let her do this Clarke, trust me?'

'I do,' Clarke could only stare at Lexa, wanting nothing more than to reconnect their lips and stay in her arms forever. 'I trust you more than anyone.' Lexa closed her eyes briefly, before pressing a soft kiss to her forehead.

'Let us go plan a way to defeat them,' Lexa nodded.

XOXOXOXO 

'We are getting nowhere,' Mantu banged his hand on the table in anger.

'He is right Heda,' Luna slumped in her chair. 'They have the power. They do not need to kill us in order to kill our people and once they do that the war is over.'

'It is a huge risk to fire the missiles,' Clarke stated, 'they know we will take the Ark and kill their people.'

'They know we will not kill them if they threaten the missiles,' Indra stated in frustration.

'We are going round in circles,' Lexa stood and Clarke couldn't help but think she looked magnificent. Powerful and strong and far from dead. 'We have to stop thinking this way. Look at what we have,' she began to stride and all looked to her in deference. Clarke had wondered at such a young, smallish girl being the leader of such a physically big people, but it was clear that when Heda spoke, her people listened. 'We have Bellamy and Lincoln in the mountain, Sha?'

'Sha Heda,' Indra nodded.

'So we can maybe take the mountain. That is good. We have Monty who can control these weapons for us, destroy them. And we have a way into the Ark?'

'Sha, but that is all we have.'

'We have an army that is far superior in both size, strength and honour.'

'Sha, Heda,' the response came from Indra, Peyo and the other leaders present. Lexa paused and Clarke could literally see her thinking,

'We have one more thing,' she stated and everyone waited with baited breath, 'we have the Skaiprisa and the Sky people.'

'Lexa?' Clarke couldn't hide her shock, eyes wide. She felt floored as Lexa sucked in a breath without looking at her,

'The chancellor wants her daughter. She has a weakness and we should exploit it. We trade the Skaiprisa and her people and land for disabling the weapons at the Mountain permanently, for peace,' Lexa didn't look at Clarke who was staring in shock, aware of Raven, Octavia and Millers wide eyes fixed on her.

'Is that enough?' Mantu asked as Indra clarified,

'The Skaiprisa?' though she was silenced with a glare from her Commander. Indra and Peyo exchanged looks.

'We are in a stalemate. If we have run this through all it's circular trails and so have they. If they kill our people we kill theirs. The Skaiprisa and Sky people are all we have to bargain with, and they will need their people to survive - some have skills they need and revenge is a powerful motivator. They cannot use the missiles without certain death for the Ark. They know this and this stalemate cannot last forever. We will give them what they want - land, their traitors and the Skaiprisa. They would be foolish not to take it and end this. The weapons will be destroyed before we exchange and that will be the end, though I imagine they will fear an attack on the Ark and will keep their smaller bombs, but still, the threat will be over,' Lexa finished, her eyes finally flicking to Clarke who was staring at her in bewildered incomprehension. Clarke had feared this in her worst nightmares but Lexa had reassured her. Except that she hadn't, she'd said she would take the deal - very clearly, despite Clarke's protests. She did say she would claim Clarke back, but her expression didn't look like she was planning to claim anyone back. And it wasn't the Ark offering the deal, Lexa planned too. It scared Clarke that there was no softness in Lexa's expression. Lexa did not look like she cared at all. She looked scary as hell, fiercely determined and completely and utterly detached from the agony that was surly etched on Clarke's confused face.

'They'll kill us. You know that,' Clarke rose from her chair staring at Lexa.

'It is a potential solution and we'll offer the deal,' Lexa ignored her. 'It is perhaps the only one. The Chancellor is weak for her daughter. She wants her back even if only to be the one to kill her or to try and save her.'

'How can you...' Clarke was too shocked to do more than gape at Lexa, everything collapsing in on her.

'You are not as weak as I thought,' Nia stared at the Commander in surprise, nodding her agreement to the plan. 'I thought that you favoured the girl...'

'Only her beautiful body,' Lexa shrugged dismissively and Clarke snapped, pulling back her fist and swinging to hit the Commander with full fury. Lexa caught her arm easily and swung her around, gripping her firmly against her body, her arm squeezing the wound on Clarke's shoulder so that pain rippled through her and tears sprung to her eyes.

'Contact Harper, tell her we've been betrayed,' Clarke yelled at Miller, as she struggled against Lexa's vice like grip. All at once the Grounders, ever loyal to their Commander, grabbed at the Sky people. Seasoned warriors against those who had only been on earth for months. Only Octavia put up a fight that resulted in injuries to their enemy, and even then she risked death and knew it, eventually submitting so she might fight another day. 'How could you?' Clarke scratched at Lexa's arm, never ending her battle to escape the woman.

'You gave me the idea Clarke,' Lexa stated, her tone cruel. 'When we lay in bed together, your head on my breast, you remember, sha?'

'You're scum. I hate you,' Clarke tore at the skin beneath her hand.

'Maybe you hate me now but not this morning,' Lexa sounded almost amused and Clarke swore her heart broke. 'I always have told you head over heart.'

'You're a liar, an evil, vindictive liar. You say head over heart but you have no heart.'

'I am a leader,' Lexa all but yelled pulling Clarke harshly, jolting her shoulder without consideration so that Clarke gasped with the pain.

'Stop hurting her,' Raven yelled.

'So if it was all for my body what's with all the ai Prisa crap?' Clarke's voice broke in her fury.

'We all say what we want to get what we want,' Lexa shrugged.

'I though your people had honour,' Octavia seemed as outraged as Clarke. 'We have bled for you, risked our lives for you, betrayed our people for you...'

'Save your breath O. She won't be swayed,' Clarke found the hand which Lexa had burned and dug her nails into it. She felt the shudder of pain through the Commander and her arm loosened. Clarke swivelled, but didn't use her freedom to run - there was no point running, instead she used it to hit the Commander once more and spit in her face, 'I will never forgive you for this,' Clarke vowed.

'You make the mistake of thinking that I will seek your forgiveness,' Lexa responded coolly, outwardly unaffected by Clarke's hatred, as she pulled out her dagger from where it was still nestled in Clarke's holster and in one swift move held it against Clarke's throat. 'Put them in holding. Have the rest of the Sky people rounded up and in-prisoned. Kill those who would resist.'

'Tell them I ordered no resistance,' Clarke shouted. 'Don't kill them.'

'We're already dead Clarke, what does it matter?' Octavia stared at her leader.

'It matters,' Clarke gasped in pain as Lexa shoved her to some large mean looking guard who dragged them from the tent.


	9. 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Abby may be out of character - but the earth changed them all. Also - this is fanfiction - authors have to be able to change some stuff or there's no story. The 100 isn't entirely realistic but it's fun and dramatic, and tons of shit happens and our two girls in love are in the thick of most of it - isn't that why we all love it? Lexa isn't perfect, Clarke isn't perfect and I'm not. One thing is for sure - war isn't perfect.
> 
> Feedback is good. Also check out my new fic - Unsung Heart:-)

**Chapter Nine**

'Clarke, are you ok?' Raven watched the chained Skaiprisa who glared at the ground within the dark room that was slowly filling with bewildered, angry Sky People, all with questions, too many questions, questions Clarke didn't want to answer. Raven moved closer to Clarke, the only person chained.

'No,' Clarke hissed with passionate anger. 'Not at all. She'll pay for this, you know? Don't ask me how but she will.'

'Your arm is bleeding Clarke, pretty badly,' Octavia approached her telling the people filling the room to wait for a moment with their questions. Clarke felt angry, outraged really, and didn't even know how she could admit to her people that they had once more been betrayed by the Grounders. It would surely shift the allegiance of most to her mother and her sick plan of annihilation. She ignored the general hum and focussed on her friends.

'I don't care about my arm,' Clarke seethed. 'How could she do this...she...she...is this a dream? I'm so confused.'

'You had something with her, didn't you?' Raven asked bluntly, 'I mean more than just physical, more than just sex and leadership?' The physical had, after all, been pretty obvious when Lexa kissed Clarke after her return from her meeting with her mother at the gate. Octavia just rolled her eyes, and punched Raven softly in the arm,

'Don't make Clarke feel like a fool, she had us all fooled. I would have sworn Lexa was in love with her.'

'I am a fool,' Clarke's head flicked to lying in Lexa's bed, the soft, flirtatious teasing, Lexa's thigh between her legs, Lexa's mouth on her breast. It had to be a dream. She had been a complete fool, listening to, and worst of all believing, the assurances made on soft furs. Lexa herself had told her that bed was not a place for such conversations and yet she had pushed for them, thrown her affection at the Commander, begged for her touch and to touch her, sought comfort in her arms and done what she could to make her laugh and though it had felt like something, apparently it was nothing. Clarke burned with shame, shame that she had sentenced people who had followed her to death through her ill placed trust. 'I lay in her bed and touched her, and let her touch me. I trusted her even when I had doubts. I let her...fuck, I let her sway me. She was sweet and kind and she seemed so sincere and...'

'I trusted her too, Clarke,' Octavia reassured softly. 'I just can't believe she was acting. Her eyes...when she looked at you...I would have sworn she felt for you.'

'I guess there's a reason she commands the twelve clans,' Clarke muttered sourly. 'I have to speak to everyone.'

'Clarke we support you. The fact that we've been betrayed doesn't mean we did the wrong thing, you know that right?' Raven squeezed her hand but frowned at the appearance of her friends.

'You look kind of pale, are you ok?' Octavia stared worriedly at the blond girl.

'I think they broke my arm again...or have hurt it worse than before,' Clarke didn't think, she knew. When they had put the chains on her they'd pulled her arm from her sling and she'd blacked out from the pain as the man had twisted it harshly. The fact that blood dripped down her arm in alarming amounts did not bode well, clearly the stitches had ripped, perhaps worse.

'Let's deal with that, then speak to everyone,' Octavia was comforting.

'No, I speak now,' Clarke stood, brushing the dirt from her, the chains clanking from her wrists, the pain so excruciating, she stumbled. 'We have been betrayed,' Clarke spoke loudly and the Sky people fell silent. 'The Commander plans to trade us for the destruction of the weapons the Mountain controls. We are the price of saving the world and we will save it. In this war we are the only ones who have acted with honour. It may be the end of our people,' Clarke closed her eyes. She didn't believe for a second that the Grounders wouldn't kill them all once they had the weapons, though perhaps her mother would be smarter than that. 'But we have acted with honour. I'm sorry, really, really sorry. I wanted to save the world and you joined me. You're paying the ultimate price and it is not something you deserve, not any of you. The Ark started this and the Grounders are ending it and we are just collateral damage. If I could, I would die for you all, so you all can live but I fear that the world will not rest until we are all dead.'

The people stared at her in silence.

'I'm honoured to die with you,' Miller stated suddenly, the shy boy stepping forward, his voice confident as he squeezed her left hand. One by one the people added their agreement. Either with nods, words or a squeeze of her hand, as they settled down in their prison. Clarke had expected anger at the Grounders and there was some, most were just relieved that it would be over, that a plan they morally opposed would be thwarted. What Lexa had done to destroy her faith in humanity, her people valiantly restored. Clarke didn't care that she was crying as she received the support of each person who had followed her, they deserved her tears.

'Let me fix your arm,' Octavia urged when Clarke swayed on her feet again, a pool of blood growing in the dirt beneath her.

'I'm not sure there's much you can do,' Clarke whispered.

'Let me try. They need you. I need you.'

'Ok,' Clarke allowed Raven and Octavia to help lower her to the ground. 'You need to find something like a stick, something straight and hard to bind to it as a splint, make my arm straight again. I'm not sure what's bleeding, but the best you can do is tie something around my arm tightly. I'm not sure it'll work, but you can try.'

'Let me shout for them. They'll help you because they need you alive,' Octavia urged, 'you know that.'

'I will accept nothing from them,' Clarke hissed as Miller left to search for something to bind her arm and something to use as a splint.

'This is a lot of blood,' Raven used her outer shirt and held it against Clarke's arm, ignoring her cry of pain. 'I know the girl messed with your heart but you're bleeding out here.'

'I don't care,' Clarke hissed, broken heart beating a slowing rhythm.

'Clarke, please,' Octavia beseeched but in her head Clarke heard, Clarke, beja in Lexa's voice, the Commanders dark eyes filling her minds eye, and the shame flooded her once more, shame and a pain that had nothing to do with her arm.

'No,' she said with all her remaining strength going into that one word. 'Nowe.'

'Nowe?' Raven asked.

'Never. It means never,' Octavia stared at the pale leader, her skin clammy and cold. 'She's loosing too much blood,' she said as Miller returned with the belt of one of the Ark guards who had followed Clarke.

'There's nothing in here to use as a splint,' he said exasperated. 'Everyone was stripped of weapons or anything that might be used as a weapon. At first they didn't realize what was happening, and trusted the Grounders. They willingly handed them over and followed the Grouders here. You weren't the only one to trust them completely,' Miller told Clarke but she didn't answer, her head tilted to one side and her eyes closed. 'Clarke?' he shook her gently, watching as Raven wadded her extra shirt into a more flat shape covered the wound and tied it to Clarke's arm, pulling the belt tight in a hope to stem the bleeding. Clarke was clearly unconscious because she didn't react.

'If she lives her arm may be useless, or lost,' Octavia smoothed a lock of blond hair from her face which was smeared in blood. The whole of Clarke seemed to be smeared in blood.

'They'd keep her alive, you know they would,' Miller turned to Octavia, 'Clarke's mom won't make any deal if Clarke's dead, won't even consider it.'

'Then let me die,' Clarke croaked, conscious again, her teeth gritted against the pain.

'Then what have we fought for? If you die and the deal falls through, what's to stop them blowing the world apart? I know they betrayed us, but we followed you to save the world and if that's what we achieve, then I'm willing to die,' Octavia was vehement.

'They won't hand us over until they have the mountain and Monty has disarmed the weapons. My life isn't important. The Grounders will probably kill the rest of them anyway. This risk they took was foolish and the deal is even more foolish. If the Ark accepts it, they will all die,' Clarke's words were rapid, bitter, ramblings really, 'and our people won't relinquish complete control. They're all double crossers. The world will fall apart, I promise.'

'Think about us Clarke, think about Bellamy in that mountain, Bellamy and Lincoln, they need you to fight, I need you to fight for them,' Octavia pleaded and Clarke's mind was suddenly full of her best friend and the one Grounder she really believed in, and her guilt and shame grew. They were in the mountain, unaware of the betrayal. They fought for the Grounders, as the Grounders turned their backs on them and their people. Octavia waited in prison as her lover and brother fought for the freedom of those who held her hostage.

'Fine, ask for help and if they offer it, I'll take it,' she seethed, as pain and dizziness ripped through her again, 'I fear you may be too late,' she felt tired and the pain was being replaced by a numbness she was sure meant death. Raven was on her feet in a second and pounding on the door of the prison, yelling loudly.

'Clarke is dying. She'll be dead if you don't get her help. You people are morons if you don't think her mom will want proof she's alive. Are you listening?' she paused only to be met with silence. Octavia joined her at the door,

'The Skaiprisa will die. You're bargaining ability is greatly reduced without her and you know it. You have us but there are many more loyal to her and anger drives revenge.'

'You people are stupid if you think they'll leave that mountain and let you destroy those missiles without seeing Clarke first.'

'She destroyed the mountain and as thanks you plan to let her die in this prison? You idiots broke her arm and she's bleeding. It won't stop. Her heart is barely beating. Get her help. Tell your stupid commander and I'll bet she orders medical aid. Anyone as vindictive as her knows that you need Clarke,' Octavia yelled loudly. The door opened abruptly pushing both girls over and Indra stood there backed by many carrying weapons. Octavia caught Ravens eye and urged her to fight them but Raven looked pointedly at the two in the back who carried guns, guns that would kill them before they could move.

'If you lie I will kill you both myself,' Indra bellowed but looked around the room for Clarke.

'Here. Some idiot decided to chain her to the wall,' Miller shouted, cradling Clarke who was once more unconscious. Indra turned and yelled in Tridegasleng and at length a key was thrust in her hand. She strode towards Clarke and stared at her, her face betraying nothing as she uncuffed the girl and moved her broken arm across her chest before scooping her into her arms, and striding from the prison with her.

XOXOXOXOXO

The world had a dreamlike quality. Clarke could hear voices but her head was foggy, lacking clarity and focus. There were voices but she didn't know who spoke. Her eyes would not open and the undream like pain brought a scream to her lips. Clarke wished for Lexa but felt that it was wrong but couldn't think why, just that it was wrong to want the other girl to hold her and comfort her. Lexa made her feel safe and yet she was sure Lexa didn't represent safety any longer. She tried to focus her head, tried to think and the betrayal filled her head, her people held in a prison to be exchanged for peace. The shame and rage filled her before someone snapped something in her arm and she fell back into blackness.

Thoughts entered her head once more, dreams really, of soft hands and careful touches, of a girlish laugh and eyes that looked at her like the world stopped and ended with her. She squashed that image down, beat it and herself for thinking it. She forced her eyes open and looked around the room. It was empty accept for the small cot on which she lay. She wasn't bound but she couldn't seem to sit despite her best efforts. She moved her left hand to her right and was relieved to feel her arm was still there. She had no idea how Nyko had saved her and she knew her use of the arm would probably be limited or non existent. Not that she'd need it for long. Sure, her mom would make sure Clarke was alive before surrendering the mountain but she would kill her. She had killed her husband and she'd kill Clarke to maintain order and control. Maybe it wasn't her plan but it was what would eventually happen.

Clarke tried again to sit but she was clearly weak and couldn't get off the bed.

'Don't try and sit, you may fall,' Lexa's voice as she appeared through a doorway. Clarke was filled with so much rage and hatred that in fury she tried once more to sit, willing her body to do as she bid, until she was sat and pushing to standing. The world swam and her vision flickered like the stars back in space when she'd spun in a circle, and then she was wrapped in Lexa's arms, struggling against her as she was laid gently back on the cot, 'I did warn you,' gentle hands smoothing over her hair.

'Get away from me,' she hissed, and tried to hit her with her good arm, ignoring the pain it caused in her bad as her body jolted. Lexa merely caught her wrist, the strength in the Skaiprisa wholly inadequate to hurt the Commander.

'Clarke,' Lexa said her name like it was an endearment and it only fuelled Clarke's rage, a she tugged to free her arm from Lexa.

'Don't say my name like that. Don't look at me like that. In fact don't look at me at all. I hate you,' she tried to crawl up the bed but she was weak and couldn't even manage to sit.

'Clarke,' Lexa tried again, voice soft and caring - upset.

'Save your words for someone who cares.'

'The man who broke your arm is already dead. I killed him myself. Indra told him not to harm you and he wished to show off,' Lexa said as if this might somehow be impressive to Clarke, cause the girl to forget the depth of her betrayal. She did manage to sound impressively incensed at the man's behaviour.

'Why would you care? I'm dead anyway. You've made sure of that,' she snarled.

'Clarke,' Lexa sat on the edge of the cot, both hands grabbing at Clarke's good one and gripping it, thumb smoothing over her skin. 'I hated hurting you. But it had to be real - you remember when we spoke. I told you I would make the deal but claim you back and I will.'

'Don't feed me more lies,' Clarke refused to look at her.

'I would not betray you Clarke. Ai hod yu in,' Lexa's voice cracked, as though she were the one in pain.

'I don't even know what that means,' Clarke rolled her eyes because what should she care about Lexa's pain.

'I love you,' Lexa's eyes were fixed on Clarke, just waiting for blue eyes to meet them. When they did they were glazed and hard,

'Love? Love is weakness, is it not?' she scathed in response, turning her head away from pained green eyes. She didn't want to see Lexa hurt, to be swayed by this girl again.

'Nia...she is a traitor to the coalition,' Lexa explained, 'I saw one of her people when I was in the Ark rescuing Monty. They have a mark on their necks, a look to them. I needed to be sure and Indra, she confirmed my fears when she said some of those who threw the bombs at Mount Weather were Azgeda. I could not tell you my plan which I only formed after you met with your mother - I thought you would remember our talk, I hoped but in that moment your sense of betrayal had to be real, ai Prisa. She had to believe I was unaware of her duplicity. She will only be caught in her treachery if she believes I don't know. I couldn't be gentle, or kind, or explain what was happening. She aids the Ark. She supports their plan in order to seek protection for her clan. She planned to help them survive earth once the rest of us are gone, or worse take control of the missiles for herself. I believe the Ark will take my deal and once she is caught in her trap Nia will be defeated and the North will not cause so many problems. I will unmask the Queen as a traitor and she will pay the price she has long since been owed for her crimes. As of now she sees us as a broken alliance. She thinks you hate me and she will come to you. Offer you protection in exchange for preventing my taking the Mountain. She has convinced me that Monty should be put with you all in holding. Then she will come and convince you, she would suggest that with you in control of missiles you can keep peace in the region, I am certain. You will see Clarke. I'm sorry I didn't tell you and I am so, so sorry that I hurt you,' Lexa pressed her forehead to Clarke's hand, the hand she was clutching and Clarke ineffectually tried to push her away as she stared at Lexa, eyes suspicious, the sick feeling in her stomach still swirling. She hurt, she felt sick and weak and Lexa was convincing. Vehement in her claims, desperate in her desire to be believed.

'I guess we'll see,' Clarke muttered and looked away at the same moment Lexa looked up.

'Clarke, ai Prisa,' Lexa knelt by the bed. 'Who else do you wish to hear this from. Shall I get Indra? I will do whatever it takes so you believe me. I have killed the man who hurt you and I'm sorry that I gave you any pain. I didn't want to hurt you but if I had been careful of you it would have been taken as weakness. You must understand my people Clarke.'

'Yeah, I understand them alright. One minute I'm the Skaiprisa and they're thanking me, and then next they're nearly killing me.'

'They were not supposed to chain you. None of you were to be hurt and that you nearly died...Clarke,' Lexa's eyes were scrunched up tight, her face pained, her eyes actually full of tears.

'The problem is I can't tell if this is just an act,' Clarke wished she could leave.

'You think this morning was an act? That when I kiss you it means nothing?' Lexa actually sounded pissed about it.

'Like you said, you favour my body,' Clarke glared with hatred, and yet it was hard to deny all those moments, the teasing, the passion, the way Lexa looked when she laughed, and her eyes when she stared at Clarke.

'I wanted to tell you,' Lexa looked so distraught that Clarke hesitated with the insult on the tip of her tongue, 'More than anything. I tried even. I...I spoke to you about Nia. I promised you I'd claim you back and I will. I even made sure you trust me. I won't let you die. I won't let my people die. I promised you and I promised them.' Clarke stared at her. She'd said my people. Not your people or the Sky people, and Clarke noticed. She couldn't forgive, couldn't make herself vulnerable to being wrong again about Lexa, but she noticed.

'I can't believe anything you say, anything you do. I thought...I thought there was something...more between us, but as you said, a warrior doesn't like cold furs,' Clarke turned her face from Lexa, swallowing her emotions. 'I wish to go back to my people.'

'Clarke. This isn't easy.'

'What did you say the last time, head over heart? Can't be that hard when you don't have a heart,' Clarke closed her eyes.

'If I don't have a heart it's because you have it,' Lexa said shrinking back from the bed slightly.

'Well that's a line if ever I heard one,' Clarke kept her eyes shut.

'It is the truth. The Trikru don't want this, none of us want this, least of all me, but this will save them and it will rid us of a traitor. Think back to last night Clarke. You asked me and I didn't lie...I said I'd take the deal to stop the conflict. You have always known I would do whatever it takes. You know me. I did it to you once before so you shouldn't be surprised. But this time is different, as I promised. I will save you Clarke. I need you,' Lexa spoke earnestly and when Clarke opened her eyes the other girls face was open, and full of emotion. Clarke wanted to trust her.

'So you wanted the element of surprise. You wanted the queen to believe I was truly blindsided, which I was. You wanted her to think the alliance was truly broken and that we were vulnerable to her. But you didn't know my mom was going to beg me to come back. You didn't know that. So why, why when you rescued Monty did you not tell me that there were Azgeda there? Or when Indra returned from the Mountain? Why didn't you tell me we couldn't trust them?'

'I did,' Lexa dropped to her knees. 'Clarke I did. I told you we couldn't trust her. Before we joined them after my heart stopped. I told you.'

'You didn't say - "Clarke the Azgeda work with the Ark," did you?'

'I wished to protect you. I cannot hide my feelings for you well and the queen - she is an excellent manipulator. They are traitors and the only way to catch them was to play the game. To act at innocence. You are wonderful Clarke but your face betrays your emotions. If you had known everything, the moment you met her she would have known too.'

'I think you underestimate me.'

'I do. But I love you and love isn't rational. Love is weak.'

'Right,' Clarke wanted to believe Lexa, desperately. She didn't want to be the fool, the person who trusted too easily and rushed to aid the people who had betrayed them once before without even a back up plan.

'Clarke, beja,' Lexa reached for her hand and Clarke allowed her to take it, closing her eyes for a few moments, 'I made sure you trust me. I hate that I hurt you, both physically and inside. It sounds stupid but I did it to protect you. She had to believe you hated me. The thought of you losing your head by her sword...I cannot think it. It can't happen.'

'I...I want to go back to my people,' Clarke opened her eyes and stared at the Commander, hating everything she loved about her. A small frown marred her pretty face.

'You aren't well enough Clarke. It's too risky...'

'I don't care. Take me to them,' she hissed and Lexa stood with a reluctant nod and sat beside Clarke and turned to scoop her into her arms. Clarke flinched and pushed at her,

'Hell no.'

'You will fall without my assistance,' the frown grew.

'Then find someone else to assist me,' Clarke glared at her, her eyes catching sight of Lexa's burnt fingers which were a reminder of her desperation to save the Commander, her absolute heart break when she had thought her dead. She felt so stupid, so naive, and yet...part of her believed Lexa. Last time there had been no real apology, just the lesson on head over heart and yet this time, this time she was begging, pleading and desperate, but Clarke couldn't just forget that moment when Lexa turned on her, hurt her, as though it hadn't happened.

'Clarke...'

'Find me someone else,' she needed time and space to think.

'Sha, Skaiprisa,' Lexa nodded.

XOXOXOXOXO

'Why am I not surprised?' Clarke muttered as Indra entered the room.

'You need help and I'm your help,' Indra scowled.

'And you're as thrilled about that as I am,' Clarke raised her left arm so she could put it around Indra's shoulder and the woman could scoop her into her arms. 'At least I'm going to be real easy to kill when the time comes,' she muttered as dizziness had her head falling back. Indra took a moment to allow her to settle herself.

'You shall not die, Heda will not allow it,' Indra stated as they began to walk across the room.

'Ha, Heda is the one who hands me to my killers.'

'Your mother will not kill you.'

'My mother will be forced to kill me, much like Heda had to kill Gustof. You know she didn't want to but it was punishment for a crime everyone knew he'd committed.'

'She will not let you die,' Indra repeated.

'I'm pretty sure she told you to say that,' Clarke growled.

'I have known Heda since she was three years old. She was a rebellious child, but she learnt earlier than most to deny herself the things she wanted for the needs of others.'

'I know, she rules with her head and not her heart - I'm kinda sick of hearing about it to be honest. And you know what? If you honestly expect me to believe she feels anything for me in that icy heart of hers after betraying me twice then I'm the fool you have always thought me,' Clarke was still angry and embarrassed. She was also ashamed by her ragged breath, the weakness of her own body unexpected, especially when she was being carried and it was only movement from the person that helped her causing her fatigue.

'I will move slower,' Indra stated and Clarke nodded. 'She was young when she was called to lead, only a child and yet she made decisions that brought us to the near peace we have today. She has dealt with difficulties that others have not faced. I was with her when she received Costia's head in a box. A girl she had loved, something she had taken for herself. She was different after that, until you anyway, but I know what you saw in her. What I considered weakness, you saw as a strength. Heda has compassion. She sees more than that which is right in front of her. To me you were a silly little girl who accidentally managed to kill three hundred warriors. To Heda you were a mystery. You intrigued her and rightly so. I was wrong and Heda was right.'

'I guess that's why she's the Heda,' Clarke was droll, wondering if there was any point to Indra's story that she was busy feigning disinterest in.

'Then I found you in her tent...'

'Half naked, yeah I know,' Clarke burned with embarrassment about that, after all did Indra had seen Lexa's face on her bare chest.

'No, sat behind her on her bed braiding her hair. She betrayed you and then turned her back to you. She awarded you an honour and an intimacy. She was showing that she trusts you, that she holds you above others.'

'I braided her hair,' Clarke rolled her eyes, 'I think the nakedness was a bigger intimacy.'

'Stop acting the fool,' Indra tsked. 'You are angry and cannot see reason. The Azgeda work with the Ark. Heda made a decision based on your meeting with the Ark chancellor and it had to be real. Do you think that after giving you her dagger, the ultimate sign of her allegiance, she wanted to then hurt you and betray you? The Kwin will come to you. You will see. And Heda will save you, because she does hold you above all others - she will not deny herself this time.'

'I guess we will see,' Clarke arched her brows and watched the guards stand to attention. Before they reached them Indra stared at her hard,

'If she does not, I will save you Skaiprisa.'

Clarke had no time to be surprised because the guards were entering the prison and Indra was moving forward with her, standing there before the Sky People. Carefully she placed Clarke on the ground and moved out with the guards, the door slamming behind her.

'Clarke,' Monty was at her side in a second. 'Are you ok?'

'Not so much, though it is good to see you,' she murmured aware of the shouts and cries and movement of bodies as people became aware she was there.

'Clarke, thank fuck you're alive,' Raven took her hand.

'Barely. I think I need to sit,' she admitted. 'And we need to talk.'

'Right, corner by the pit toilet isn't popular,' Raven nodded, as Octavia gave her a gentle hug. 'Ok big guys,' Raven nodded to Monty and Miller, 'the three of us have big bad battle wounds so you need to help Clarke.'

'Sure,' Miller immediately stood beside her and scooped her into his arms and carried her toward the corner that smelt less than fresh.

'Have you had water? Food? How long have I been gone?'

'Yes, yes and several hours,' Miller smiled, his face filled with concern. 'Are you ok?'

'Ok? I...' she trailed off wondering where to start. They needed to know, these four at least because if Nia came it would be with them she negotiated. She had seem them at the meetings and knew they were of import. Not that she expected a visit from the Ice Queen, she was merely preparing for the slimmest chance that Lexa was telling the truth.

'What happened?' Miller asked again and this time Raven shot him a look,

'Give her a chance. She's half dead and heart broken.'

'Lexa was there when I woke up,' Clarke couldn't stand them talking about her and spoke to stop them.

'I hope you hit her,' Octavia said.

'I tried. Kinda really am half dead here though so it didn't really happen.'

'What did she say?' Miller asked.

'That she's sorry, that she didn't mean it. It was all an act because the queen of the Azgeda is working with the Ark and now she thinks we are no longer in an alliance with the Grounders. Apparently she will come and try to win us over, to get us to do her bidding in return for our freedom. Lexa said she saw Azgeda in Camp Jaha and Indra saw them at Mount Weather - of course neither told me.'

'You believe her?' Monty asked.

'I mean you know her,' Octavia pressed.

'Do I? I don't know what I believe. I want to believe her because then I wouldn't feel so stupid, so foolish and naive, so ridiculously heart broken. I wouldn't feel so guilty about convincing all these people to fight for them.'

'They were fighting for you Clarke,' Raven said gently. 'And you're not a fool.'

'I'm inclined to believe Lexa's telling the truth. Why bother lying?' Octavia offered.

'Another game? Another act of deceit? Who knows,' Clarke turned her face from them for a moment,

'She was right though, if Nia is double crossing her, then you had to look really angry. You couldn't have acted as you did. Nobody would doubt that you were scorned and that you were sincerely pissed,' Octavia offered.

'Well we've been here for hours and I've not seen Nia come near this place,' Clarke growled, her mind in turmoil. 'Who knows if the Ark will even take the deal.'

'They'll take the deal,' Raven shrugged, 'they're starving in there Clarke. People are cold and miserable and each day more people talk against the council and this madness. Others become angrier with the Grounders. It's volatile and they need an end. Jaha can't fire any missiles because the retaliation will be the death of everyone inside the Ark and then it really is extinction for everyone. And we can't take the Ark, not without them shooting missiles. It is a stalemate and this is a way to break it.'

'So the Grounders retreat, my moms precious missiles are destroyed and we're returned for trial? And what then? You think the Grounders won't kill them anyway? The Ark will argue to keep something to enforce the deal to be kept.'

'You're right,' Octavia said.

'Unless they don't have to,' Monty tilted his head in thought, 'look bare with me on this, ok? Let's just say the Ark and the Azgeda are working together. The Ark receives the offer of this deal from Lexa - us, destruction of the weapons and land to live on peacefully. It's a good deal for all the reasons Raven said. Especially if the Ark is working with the Azgeda, because then they know that the Azgeda have access to us, to me, and that we're probably extremely angry at being betrayed again. With the Azgeda working with them and us, perhaps they think we can resist the destruction of the weapons. I mean, maybe that meeting with your mom at the Ark gates, maybe that was an effort on her behalf to push Lexa into betraying us, so that this could occur. So we would be more susceptible to her plans. We've been betrayed why wouldn't we work with the Queen and the Azgeda to get Lexa back? Surely after this betrayal it would make sense. Maybe this was your mom's plan and they don't plan to surrender the weapons at all. We're being used as pawns in the war to achieve their goals. Surely half the people in this room would now argue we keep missiles because the Grounders are double crossing bastards?'

'That's...that's fucking brilliant,' Raven slapped him on the back.

'If it's true,' Clarke groused, thinking. Monty's theory made a lot of sense, though it seemed to underhanded for the mother she knew. Then again her mom had changed a lot since arriving on earth. She'd been so angry after the bombing of TonDC and yet now she had these awful plans. The mountain had changed her, earth had changed her - it had changed a lot of them, and Clarke was no exception.

'Clarke, I love you I do, but you have to get over this. It is not your fault. None of this is. Worst case scenario Lexa is a double crossing bitch who deserves to die, which is probably going to happen, best case scenario, she's all in love with you and doing everything she can to save you and us and the world all at the same time,' Octavia shrugged. 'Either way, you need to fight. You're our leader and we need you. Be angry but focus that anger.'

'Ok,' Clarke nodded. 'Ok. Look, lets fan out, make sure everyone is ok, that nobody needs anything, then help everyone rest. We have nothing we can do until Nia comes to us or we're handed to the Ark.'

'And if Nia comes to us?'

'We double cross that bitch. I'll hang onto my anger for that.'

XOXOXOXOXO

'Ahh, what time is it?' Clarke asked from where she lay, uncomfortably between Octavia and Raven, her body cold despite the body heat.

'Too early for you to be waking me up,' Raven grumbled.

'Clarke,' Miller was evidently also up.

'Hmmm?' she queried, opening her eyes, only to see an imposing figure staring down at them, tall and foreboding, the very embodiment of death, if you asked Clarke. Her heart began to pound and she felt treacherous because it pounded not in fear but relief that it seemed Lexa spoke the truth.

'Klark kom Skaikru,' the voice was low, not a whisper but quiet authority.

'Nia, Kwin kom Azgeda,' Clarke acknowledged.

'We talk now,' Nia waited expectantly.

'What are you waiting for?' Clarke asked, 'if you wish to talk, talk. I am the one in prison and unable to escape your words.'

'You are lying down.'

'I lack strength to do more,' Clarke answered curtly and Nia's eyes narrowed.

'Why?'

'You people broke my arm again and my bullet wound bled a lot. Don't worry, they patched me up enough to keep me breathing,' she scorned and Nia tilted her head to the side before dropping to her knees amongst the group. Clarke was vaguely aware that around her Raven was awake, Miller and Octavia were too primed not to be. She wasn't sure of Monty.

'Why don't you get the hell out of here?' Raven glared.

'Because I wish to speak with the Skaiprisa and her people,' Nia stated. 'I think you have been wronged.'

'You do huh?' Clarke gave a derisive laugh, 'because you seemed pretty impressed when that bitch double crossed me.'

'We all play our parts,' Nia merely stated. 'And now I play mine.'

'You honesty want me to believe you're not in full support of the Commander? That you don't desire the death of all intruders? There isn't a clan that doesn't want those missiles destroyed.'

'Are you trying to tell me that after this deception from the people you tried to help, that you do not feel that perhaps there is merit in your people's plan?' Nia spoke softly, warmly and the tactic surprised Clarke.

'My people are those that fill this room,' she stated. 'And two men stuck inside Mount Weather unaware of the duplicity of you awful people.'

'I understand your anger, I do. But I can save you - if you let me,' Nia had lost all of her posturing and she sounded sincere. It was eery and sent a chill down Clarke's spine.

'Save us?' Clarke scoffed. 'How?'

'Yeah, cuz it seemed like you fully supported Commander bitch face,' Raven snarked.

'You must speak quietly,' Nia urged as if she were genuinely worried for them.

'Why? We are all sentenced to death,' Clarke glowered, pleased that no one gave anything away.

'Look...I have a long history with the Commander. We know each other well,' Nia looked down at her hands and sighed, 'you can't trust her. I know that and my people know that. I think you know that too. You gave her your trust a second time, you especially Clarke, and she is once more sacrificing you to save her people. The first time she betrayed you, you managed the impossible and defeated Mount Weather. I can help you get out alive this time too. I can help you get revenge.'

'Revenge sounds pretty good about now,' Octavia was sullen, angry - perfect.

'Clarke?' Miller looked to the blond who was staring at her hands.

'She betrayed me once and I forgave. I did what I thought was right, not for me and my people, but for the world. People didn't follow me because they expected to live, they followed me because they'd rather die than be responsible for ending the civilizations that exist here,' Clarke found her emotions very near the surface. 'So I am afraid you are mistaken if you think we need saving,' she covered her face with her hand, her body shaking, but not before she saw Nia swallow uncertainly. However, it wasn't long before Nia pressed a warm hand to her hair, stroking it softly,

'Skaiprisa, I can see that you try to do what is best for your people and I can save you and them and the world,' she spoke gently, her words kind and full of promise. 'You don't have to die to save the world.' Clarke shrugged her off and looked to Miller and Raven who moved to her side and helped her sit, their bodies supporting hers.

'Ok?' Miller asked her as she shut her eyes.

'Dizzy,' she explained.

'Take a second,' Miller told her and she nodded.

'First of all,' Clarke turned to Nia, 'what makes you think that we need you to save us? What makes you think that we don't have a back up plan?'

'You honestly want me to believe that?' Nia gave a soft laugh, 'you are a formidable girl, but you wear your heart on the outside, and unlike the cold Commander you most definitely have one.' Clarke couldn't help but think of Lexa telling her the same thing,

'The Sky people are not done,' Clarke arched her brows in defiance.

'Could have fooled me,' Nia didn't say it with any venom, she sounded almost consoling. 'I wouldn't admit it either, that I took my people into a battle, to fight for something, for a person and people who'd betrayed me, and not had a back up plan.'

'In her defence there was no time for a back up plan,' Octavia stated. 'And as she proved at the mountain, a back up plan isn't always necessary - sometimes you're smart enough and brave enough to think on your feet.'

'I will concede that,' Nia nodded. 'Let me tell you what I can offer you. Would that be acceptable?'

'Yes,' Raven stated and Clarke shot her a look, 'uh, if the Skaiprisa says so.'

'Fine. We'll listen,' Clarke glared at the wall.

'I can talk to the Ark...' Nia began,

'Really?' Clarke sounded thoroughly sceptical.

'Some of us have held on for much longer to our memories of the Commanders ability to betray those with whom she fights.'

'Meaning?'

'Meaning I did not join this fight without at least thinking about what your Ark people propose,' Nia still spoke as though she were a mother soothing her children.

'And what did you think?' Clarke's jaw was clenched tight.

'I thought that there was some merit to their madness.'

'Huh,' Clarke couldn't help her look of disgust.

'Listen to me Skaiprisa,' Nia urged. 'I'm not suggesting we kill anyone, except the Commander, but I will allow that to be your decision. However, those missiles - they have a power that should not be underestimated.'

'They have a lot of power and I have never, ever underestimated them,' Clarke stated, ignoring Raven's hidden smirk.

'Have you thought about what they could do to keep peace?'

'No,' Clarke admitted.

'The warring between the clans could be ended with a missile pointing at their people.'

'I thought the warring had been ended by the coalition?' Clarke asked.

'The coalition is fragile. There are many who do not like the Commander, and many unhappy with their treatment through the coalition. With someone fair in charge who ensures supplies are fairly distributed, who encourages trade. Those missiles would provide an incentive for peaceful negotiation and would control those who seek to cause trouble.'

'Ok, I'm listening,' Clarke stared at the woman. There was actually a lot of sense to what she said, but the thing was the person in control of this tool of manipulation had to be infallible and nobody was.

'The alliance is broken. You're being given back to the Ark in exchange for the destruction of the weapons. Your people must be angry. They must feel betrayed. I have communication with the Ark. I know that you will all go on trial for treason when you are returned and I know that you're certain you will be sentenced to death, despite your mothers efforts to save you. Maybe some of your people will be let off but we both know that as the leader you will most certainly be killed, as will those closest to you and your two in the Mountain. I can negotiate a pardon.'

'And what would we have to do to get a pardon?'

'Who knows the system of the Mountain best?'

'Monty.'

'And is he on your side?'

'Yes.'

'Someone say my name?' Monty yawned but neither Clarke nor Nia acknowledged him.

'Monty is probably the only one who can destroy the system controlling the missiles once and for all, am I right?'

'Yes.'

'Then Monty will be in charge of doing so. I propose that he doesn't do it, just make it appear as though they are useless - fool the Commander. You keep control of those missiles. I know your mother will want them, but I could ensure they are only used as a means to keep peace, with you by my side of course.'

'Of course,' Clarke nodded with a narrowing of her eyes.

'You would survive, you would be returned and accepted back by your people and those missiles would be under your control. You would also have the opportunity for revenge if you are so inclined.'

'It's an interesting proposition,' Clarke stated.

'Are you kidding Clarke?' Raven stared at her, 'it's frickin' genius is what it is. This is a way out of this mess, we can't trust Commander Bitchface and this, this will end this madness once and for all. This is a rational option...'

'We'll think about it,' Clarke spoke over Raven, shooting her a glare.

'I will return for your answer,' Nia nodded.

'When? Have the Ark accepted the deal?'

'The Ark give their answer soon. Not on this morn but the one after. I will return at this time tomorrow.'

'Ok,' Clarke glanced at her watch. It was just after five am. Apparently all the shit in the world went down at five in the morning. 'We'll talk and let you know, though the others in this room...I don't want them to know about this.'

'I understand, a good leader only lets her people know what is necessary,' Nia stood.

'Nia,' Clarke called to stop her, 'what if we don't agree?'

'Then you will die and I will still achieve my goal, though unfortunately in a manner slightly more bloody.'

'We will think about it.'

'Make a good decision. No one in this room needs to die,' Nia stated as she headed to the door, slipping out without disruption or conflict.

'Well fuck,' Raven offered bluntly.

'I guess Commander Bitchface was telling the truth,' Octavia said with a whistle.

'I guess we don't need to call her Commander Bitchface anymore,' Monty shrugged.

'She still broke Clarke's arm and heart...' Miller said. 'Before we go and say all is forgiven...'

'Yeah but she really loves her so...'

'Millers right,' Clarke stated and he looked at her with a surprised smile, 'we would be foolish to trust too quickly. I believe Lexa was telling the truth...I do...and that's pretty hard for me to admit. It may have all been a charade, an act for the Queen but I believed it.'

'Your broken arm was no act - you nearly died,' Raven said.

'I know. I don't think she meant for that to happen - it wasn't her that broke it - she made it hurt but one of her men broke it again. She...she killed the man that did it.'

'Woah - don't fucking cross Clarke in front of Lexa,' Octavia muttered and Clarke blushed.

'Don't cross her, period,' Miller said.

'She killed him?' Raven echoed.

'Yes,' Clarke nodded.

'Ok, so I'm thinking we know where she was on the whole Clarke getting hurt thing,' Miller whistled softly.

'Where are you with this all Clarke?' Octavia stared at the girl wedged between Miller and Raven.

'Nia isn't trustworthy. Don't ever tell Lexa I told you this but that woman killed her girlfriend and sent her head back to Lexa in a box - to find her secrets and because...because Costia was hers,' Clarke couldn't help but feel Lexa had been protecting her. 'The Ice clan are known to be violent and war hungry, preying on weakness. I heard this from many on my travels. They exploit weakness.'

'And she wants to be in charge of a bunch of missiles?' Raven frowned, 'uh, no way.'

'Well with Clarke of course,' Octavia mimicked the queens silken voice.

'So we don't trust Nia, right?' Monty asked. 'I mean if I have my way I'll destroy the mountains system once and for all.'

'No, we don't trust Nia. We don't trust the Ark. I'm not even sure we trust Lexa and the other clans,' Clarke sighed.

'Maybe you're being too harsh on her,' Octavia began, 'I just...what she's said is exactly true. Maybe she really felt like she had no choice.'

'But she's so exactly right...what if Lexa is merely playing on the reputation of the ice queen and is using her, to use us to get control of the missiles for the coalition?' Clarke asked. 'The ultimate double cross?'

'Oh, well I never thought about that,' Octavia admitted.

'Maybe she's not though,' Raven said. 'I mean the way she looks at you... And what if Nia did as expected because she deserves the reputation she has?'

'So what now?' Miller asked.

'We play everyone. Let's decided what we want and work out how to get it,' Clarke shrugged.

'I want everyone in this room alive,' Miller said with a quick glance across the space between them and where the others that slept, including his father.

'I want the threat of annihilation gone once and for all,' Raven said firmly, 'and we all know how fond I am of bombs.'

'Bellamy and Lincoln safe,' Octavia admitted.

'Peace,' Monty said. 'Just the regular, cohabiting peace of my dreams. Not because of force, violence or threat...just because...'

'And what about you Clarke?' Octavia looked at her.

'I want a chance for us to forge a life here. Build homes, have kids one day if we want. I just want to stop living in perpetual fear.'

'Our wants seem pretty reasonable,' Octavia shrugged. 'How do we get them?'

'Monty when they take you to that mountain how much can you really do?' Clarke asked.

'Well this is what I don't get. I thought I'd destroyed it completely the first time but obviously I missed something, I just can't figure out what. I guess I can make triple sure and I won't rest until it's done. I can write a fake program to fool the queen if necessary, or Lexa, or your mom. I just don't really understand how I messed up last time...'

'Wait up. You thought you'd destroyed it completely?' Clarke frowned.

'The system wasn't entirely like the Arks, but it wasn't any more sophisticated. I put in a virus and I physically ripped some crap out of it. It was so utterly dead I thought I wouldn't be able to fix it if I wanted to and I figured that would be good enough. I guess this Wick guy is a genius.'

'Wick is good, but I'm the genius,' Raven stated, blunt as ever.

'So maybe...maybe the Ark is bluffing?' Clarke gave a little frown and attempted to shrug, wincing in pain.

'You mean maybe they don't have the missiles online?' Monty stared at her, his mouth falling open.

'Only you know how possible that is,' Clarke deferred to him.

'It was dead. I mean physically and you know...programs, operating system. Even if they fixed the physical attributes of the system it just wouldn't work...I don't know what you could do to make it work...I literally tried to make it so nothing would ever work again...' he trailed off and Clarke couldn't help it, her face cracked. She covered her face and tried to swallow back the gasps.

'Are you ok?' Octavia stared at her.

'Clarke it's ok,' Miller soothed, but she dropped her hand and laughed louder, a little too loud.

'What have I missed here?' Raven frowned.

'This whole stupid war...it's been for nothing. Monty has already done what we want him to do...oh my god, why did no one talk to you sooner...you know about whether this stupid plot of my moms could work?'

'I don't know. They arrested me pretty much as they made the plan I guess,' Monty shrugged.

'Man, if only Bellamy had spoken to you instead of rushing out to find me,' Clarke sighed. She could never blame her best friend for trying to do the right thing.

'That was the day they took me. To be honest, before Octavia and Lincoln left,' Monty shrugged.

'He did try,' Octavia said, 'it wasn't the priority. In times of crisis we all turn to you Clarke, but after I agreed to go with Lincoln Bellamy tried to talk to those we trust and Monty wasn't around.'

'Well this is how we get what we want,' Clarke murmured. 'We use something from everyone.'

'Explain?' Octavia leaned closer as did the others as Clarke began to talk.

XOXOXOXOXO

Breakfast arrived with a bunch of quiet Grounder boys and girls, none of whom appeared to be trained warriors. Of course the guards stood at the door, looming with weapons trained. The girls and boys spread throughout the room with food and water, and Clarke wasn't particularly surprised that the girl who came to them was Lexa, wearing simple clothes and a hood over her head. She looked so unlike the formidable Heda that no one but her recognized her at first.

'Ai Heda,' Clarke stated, from her position between Raven and Miller.

'Ai Prisa,' she stated in return, voice soft and Octavia looked at them sharply. Clarke turned her eyes to Octavia in a gesture that asked her to play it a little cooler.

'You look different,' Clarke offered up. 'Less... _evil_...' Lexa gaped a little as if uncertain how to proceed, a small frown creasing her brow.

'Less evil?' she looked so bewildered, and actually a little hurt that Clarke rolled her eyes,

'Nia may have come to speak to us,' she said as Lexa dropped to a squat in front of her.

'So you understand? You believe me?' she seemed desperate, and so optimistic that Clarke's heart melted, so much so that the shattered remnants seemed to fuse back together.

'Lexa,' Clarke reached out a hand and put it on Lexa's thigh, 'I think you suck big time for doing that to me...you...you...I thought that you...I believed that you'd betrayed me again and that I'd been a fool.'

'Clarke, you are no fool,' Lexa stated firmly, as she dropped to her knees, holding Clarke's hand to her thigh, her thumb brushing the skin. 'I'm sorry I had to do that to you.'

'You keep saying sorry. For a girl who doesn't like saying sorry...well you seem to be saying it a lot,' Clarke bit her lip and Lexa zeroed in on the action.

'I don't normally apologize because I am usually acting in the best interests of those I am responsible for. However, I hurt you and your people and you are my people and for that I'm sorry. You are also mine Clarke...in my heart. Ai hod yu in. Really and truly.'

'Is it customary for your people to declare love after they've imprisoned their beloved?'

'No,' Lexa shook her head, 'but I need you to know that I am true to you. You said you trust me and you can.' Her head then dipped, a sign of deference, one that Clarke knew was important.

'Lexa...it's hard to...uh...forget that moment...I just...'

'Need time?'

'Yeah,' Clarke admitted, though her hand slid to Lexa's hip. Apparently her body didn't need the time her head did because she craved closeness, craved the security of Lexa's arms. It was only in Lexa's arms that the weight on her shoulders seemed to diminish at all and there was an awful lot of weight currently resting on Clarke's shoulders. She moved her fingers, pushing aside Lexa's top so her fingers found hot skin, her knuckles bumping against the hilt of Lexa's dagger. Lexa's eyes fluttered shut and Clarke loved the power she had to effect the Commander so much.

'Clarke,' she leaned towards her, eyes dropping from orbs of blue to soft lips.

'Lexa,' Clarke shut her eyes and shook her head slightly. 'We need to talk about strategy.'

'The guards know it is me and that I must check on you so we have a little time,' Lexa stated and leaned a little away from Clarke, apparently respecting Clarke's wishes but Clarke didn't want the distance either. She hated herself a little for this weakness. It was true that everyone had a weakness and she was just beginning to realize that Lexa was hers. She squeezed the strong thought still under her hand.

'Tell me what you plan to do, please?'

'I have four priorities Clarke,' Lexa spoke quietly, though Miller, Raven, Octavia and Monty all listened.

'Ok.'

'First, to kill those who seek to work against the coalition.'

'And that includes?'

'Ark leaders and those loyal to Nia in the Azgeda. Did she betray me?'

'She seeks to kill you and gain control of the missiles,' Clarke responded. 'She works with the Ark.'

'I believe your mother must be punished. Is that going to be a problem? My people call for blood.'

'Conduct a trial and if she is found guilty, you may be in charge of punishement,' Clarke swallowed down the pain that caused but Lexa noticed and her hand ran down Clarke's arm and swept comfortingly across her hand.

'My second priority is you and the Sky people. None of you shall be harmed. You must be saved and that includes those in the Ark. Do we know how many in the Ark are loyal to Clarke?' Lexa turned to Raven.

'At least another hundred,' Raven estimated and Lexa nodded, her expression one of pride as she looked back to Clarke.

'I believe the Ark will take the deal. Especially if they work with the Azgeda and never really plan to destroy those missiles. If they plan to double cross us they have no reason to refuse.'

'I believe you are right,' Clarke nodded. 'Your third priority?'

'Our people in Mount Weather. I do not wish anything to happen to them, and nor do I want them abandoned. I think we may still need to use them, but their safety is important.'

'That's good to hear,' Clarke nodded. 'Last?'

'Lastly, those weapons need to be destroyed once and for all. Monty,' Lexa turned to him, 'I beg of you, and I am not someone who begs, no matter what you are offered please make sure those weapons of destruction can never be used again, not by anyone. I know this planet is not what you imagined. I know that you think it is cruel and violent but that is not all we are. Existence after the bombs was hard, nearly impossible. People fought for their survival and have been fighting ever since. But it is changing. This is my home and these are my people and though it is tough and brutal we are making our way. Before you fell from the sky we had peace for the first time in living memory. We can have it again. Don't allow any opportunity ever for those bombs to destroy us. Please.' They all stared at the Commander uncertainly and then Clarke did the only thing that seemed reasonable. Her hand left the warm thigh it was resting on and found the collar of Lexa's jacket and she tugged, as hard as she could, bringing Lexa close, her whole body shaking with anticipation, as her eyes dropped to lips that hers then covered, moving hard, needily, tongue impatiently seeking Lexa's, urging her to catch up. Lexa did, her hands moving to Clarke neck, as she shuffled forward, parting her knees so she could shuffle closer to Clarke, legs cutting a path between Clarke's legs and those of Raven and Miller who still supported the Skaiprisa. She didn't rest her weight on Clarke, but kissed her with everything she had, a kiss so heavy with emotion that Clarke felt dizzy and desperate, a soft breathy moan releasing into the air along with a sigh of relief.


	10. 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> War and sex, or sex and war.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a little smutty at the end. Love feedback;-)

**Chapter Ten**

_'Lastly, those weapons need to be destroyed once and for all. Monty,' Lexa turned to him, 'I beg of you, and I am not someone who begs, no matter what you are offered please make sure those weapons of destruction can never be used again, not by anyone. I know this planet is not what you imagined. I know that you think it is cruel and violent but that is not all we are. Existence after the bombs was hard, nearly impossible. People fought for their survival and have been fighting ever since. But it is changing. This is my home and these are my people and though it is tough and brutal we are making our way. Before you fell from the sky we had peace for the first time in living memory. We can have it again. Don't allow any opportunity ever for those bombs to destroy us. Please.' They all stared at the Commander uncertainly and then Clarke did the only thing that seemed reasonable. Her hand left the warm thigh it was resting on and found the collar of Lexa's jacket and she tugged, as hard as she could, bringing Lexa close, her whole body shaking with anticipation, as her eyes dropped to lips that hers then covered, moving hard, needily, tongue impatiently seeking Lexa's, urging her to catch up. Lexa did, her hands moving to Clarke neck, as she shuffled forward, parting her knees so she could shuffle closer to Clarke, legs cutting a path between Clarke's legs and those of Raven and Miller who still supported the Skaiprisa. She didn't rest her weight on Clarke, but kissed her with everything she had, a kiss so heavy with emotion that Clarke felt dizzy and desperate, a soft breathy moan releasing into the air along with a sigh of relief._

Clarke knew she had to stop kissing Lexa, somewhere in the rational part of her brain, but Lexa appeared in no hurry to stop kissing her and they remained fused at the lips, hands fisted in each other's clothing, the kiss sweet and soft but no less passionate for its tenderness.

'Ah...if you guys want to keep doing that maybe I should move,' Millers voice.

'If you move she'll fall,' Raven's voice.

'Yeah, I don't think lying down is going to throw a bucket of water on that - more like had fuel to the already raging inferno,' Octavia's voice. Clarke disliked so many voices and she slowed the kiss before ending it entirely, opening her eyes and smiling at Lexa's face. The Commanders eyes were closed, her lips slightly parted and she looked miffed that she was no longer kissing. Her eyes opened and Clarke swallowed because it was very clear that Lexa wanted a whole lot more than just kisses.

'So uh, I think we're clear on priorities,' Clarke croaked.

'Right now I have just one,' Lexa's eyes dropped to Clarke's lips and she did not retreat. Clarke blushed at the Commanders blatant desire.

'Nodotaim Lexa,' she whispered, another time, and Lexa's eyes slipped shut and she nodded,

'Nodotaim,' she agreed and Octavia bit back a laugh.

'So Commander, do we have a plan? Now we're clear on priorities?'

'Yes,' she nodded.

'Are you going to share it?' Clarke smiled and Lexa flushed,

'Yes,' Lexa moved her hands from Clarke's neck and shuffled back, putting space between them. 'My plan is this, but I will listen to any comments you have,' Lexa looked to the guards who gave her a nod. 'Firstly I will enact your wooden horse plan.'

'Huh?' Monty frowned.

'Like from the Trojan war...' Clarke explained eyes still fixed on Lexa.

'Uh...' Monty apparently wasn't any clearer.

'Some of our people, those most like you sky people, will slip into the Ark camp and arm the people on our side. We will reassure them, let them know that their loyalty will be rewarded and we will arm those without weapons so if it comes to a fight they are able to protect themselves.'

'Oh ok I get it,' Monty nodded. 'Why?'

'So if it comes to handing you over we have extra people ready to save you if necessary.'

'Reassuring,' Raven snarked.

'It should be,' Lexa snarled, though her eyes didn't leave Clarke's.

'What else?' Clarke asked.

'The queens duplicity, her treachery, it must be exposed with care. She will reveal herself, but I would like all those who side with her to reveal themselves too.'

'I'm sure you would,' Clarke bit back a frown. 'Do you plan to kill them?'

'I do,' Lexa nodded, not picking up on Clarke's tease.

'And how do you plan to have this treachery exposed?' she quite adored her stoic Commander, missing the nuances.

'We have to follow through with our current course of action. I need to catch her but so do other clan leaders. They need to know she supports your mothers madness. They need to know she would take control of the weapons and that the Azgeda warriors are not to be trusted.'

'She claims she wants them to keep the peace,' Clarke told her and Lexa's expression became stern,

'She will use these missiles to keep the peace? That is what she thinks? I'm pretty sure that was what they believed nuclear bombs were for - keeping the peace, because to use them was insanity. But they did use them. They destroyed themselves. Someone always wants power.'

'She argues that's you,' Clarke said and Lexa's eyes widened, something defensive in the set of her mouth,

'I want peace. I have had to fight for it, I have used my power to get it, but weapons of such destructive power are too much. It was not my choice to be Commander. I was chosen and I have worked endlessly to stop the wars.'

'I know,' Clarke conceded, 'but she claims there is unfairness. That the coalition is fragile.'

'She does not lie. Of course the coalition is fragile. War has reigned for a hundred years. It is second nature to fight for what you need to survive. You have been on earth not even a year and you have fought endlessly for survival. Where means are limited and a planet is hostile, people will always do what is necessary. Before the coalition there was no trade, so yes, at times there is unfairness. If there is fragility it is brought on by those who don't wish it to work. Who wish to exploit it for their means and their agenda. I talk to the clan leaders and we work through their issues. We protect each other. Only one resists.'

'Azgeda,' Clarke guessed and Lexa nodded.

'No one can be trusted with the power she seeks to hold,' Octavia said into the subsequent quiet and they all looked to Lexa, wondering if she would suggest herself. 'Except maybe you,' Octavia continued when Lexa said nothing.

'Me?' Lexa finally ripped her gaze from Clarke and looked at Octavia, her expression dripping with venom. 'That is not a role I have been called for. I am not the God of the old beliefs. I am human. I may have the spirit of the leader but I assure you I am fallible. No one has that right, to rule the world and decide to punish with weapons that kill thousands. If death is handed out in such a way life ceases to have meaning. I have looked at the eyes of every person I have killed.'

'So you don't want me to keep the weapons on line, even if you're in charge?' Monty asked.

'Did you not hear me. Destroy them. For good.'

'Ok.'

'Can you...' Lexa hesitated and Clarke's heart thudded with sudden nerves, 'is there anyway you can trick the queen, and the chancellor if necessary? If you need to ensure they believe you are on their side?'

'Yes,' Monty smiled, 'have you met me?'

'Uh, only recently,' Lexa's brow furrowed.

'Monty can do anything on a computer,' Clarke shrugged, 'that's what he means.'

'If they want you to keep the weapons useable and trick me...can you do the opposite? Destroy the weapons and make it look as though they are live? Show them how you will trick me, but really trick them?'

'Easy,' Monty shrugged.

'Ok. So I suggest we see what your mother says to the deal Clarke, and you should take up the queens offer.'

'And then what?'

'We take you to the mountain. I've been in touch with your brother,' Lexa looked to Octavia. 'He and Lincoln are safe and able to turn off the acid fog when necessary. They don't fear discovery, though they have noted increased numbers of my people. They were suspicious as they looked different to Ark people and us and so they did not reveal themselves.'

'Azgeda?' Clarke asked and Lexa nodded.

'Many. They climb the northern side of the mountain and enter from on top to remain undetected by my warriors, though when they are detected they join our army as if they are just arriving from the north to strengthen our force. We must increase numbers around the mountain in order to combat this enemy.'

'They have the bombs they made in the mountain, don't forget that,' Octavia growled, remembering her injury.

'You need bombs,' Clarke snapped her gaze from Octavia back to Lexa. 'They won't expect it Lexa. Give us furs to keep us warm.'

'Are you cold?' Lexa was confused not seeing how bombs could connect to furs.

'Yes,' Clarke admitted, 'but that's not why. Raven, you can make bombs right?'

'Easy if I have the right things,' Ravens eyes lit up at this, and she began to list the ingredients she needed.

'Stop. I don't know what any of that is,' Lexa interrupted.

'The Ark crash site. The one with no survivors. It's a days walk, but you can get what you need there and then we can hide the bombs we make under furs when the Queen come back.'

'You shall have furs because I don't wish for you to be cold,' Lexa stated, 'and the Ark site was scavenged. It is less than an hours ride to where the materials from the ship are kept.'

'Take me there now,' Raven said and Lexa nodded.

'How many will we need to carry the stuff?'

'How many bombs do you want?'

'Enough to not have my people slaughtered by the Azgeda that are in the a mountain.'

'Six.'

'Someone will return for you soon,' Lexa nodded.

'They won't expect you to be armed as they are,' Clarke reassured.

'I don't wish to use explosions, but we need something against an army we don't expect to fight,' Lexa nodded and turned, preparing to leave.

'Lexa,' Clarke called to her.

'Sha?'

'Stay here tonight, you and the other leaders. Hide under furs and you will hear what she's plotting. They'll hear. She comes before sunrise,' Clarke suggested, watching the tinge of pink stain Lexa's cheeks, wondering why.

'Ok. Someone will be here for you soon Raven. They will bring a warriors mask and furs for you.'

'Ok.'

'Goodbye,' she nodded, but her eyes were literally shouting emotion at Clarke's.

XOXOXOXOXOXOX 

Clarke was dozing on the floor, warmed by one of the furs Lexa had given them. At first she wasn't going to take one, because not all the people had them, but they had insisted and she knew she was feeling colder than most after losing so much blood. Raven was finally sleeping after returning with materials and literally organizing the group into a bomb making production line. Lexa had provided tarps and they'd strung some for everyone to create spaces. None of the Sky people queried Clarke's need to have one with those she trusted most.

When the door to their prison opened it was without fanfare. The people had stopped jumping every time someone entered mainly because Clarke hadn't asked them too, because they thought they would be saving the planet with their sacrifice and so no one fought their captors. She looked up to see three figures enter and move across the room. Two dropped to the floor near their group, near the bombs they would remove when the operation was complete. They would be able to hear even though they covered themselves in furs and melded into the background, they were near enough. The third moved to hover near Clarke.

'Lexa,' she whispered and saw a small smile. Clarke, feeling a little guilty, nudged Miller awake.

'What?' He yawned. 'You ok? Is she here?'

'The Queen isn't but the Commander is,' Clarke bit her lip and Miller cursed softly and shifted away from her. Clarke looked up at Lexa and then at the spot beside her.

'What if the queen comes?' Lexa asked after looking at her with large, desire filled eyes.

'We can lie together for a while,' Clarke offered, pleased when the Commander dropped to the floor beside her. Clarke immediately turned onto her good arm so she could stare at Lexa's perfect profile. She stared for a long few moments. She had kissed her, so relieved to discover that the betrayal wasn't real, that Lexa truly believed in all they fought for, but Clarke couldn't help but feel a weakening of her trust after everything. She had trusted Lexa completely before that moment when she'd decided to offer her and her people up. Lexa's reasoning was sound, and Lexa's adamant opinion that all missiles should be destroyed - they were all good, strong reasons for her trust to be restored, for her faith in Heda to be repaired, for her heart to have what it wanted. But there was a niggle. A niggle she couldn't ignore - of doubt, of fear, of mistrust. She couldn't shake the fear that Lexa might be playing her and her people, just like everyone else. She didn't think so, Lexa seemed sincere, but how could Clarke just throw trust at her after everything? What if Lexa, and this was the thought that twisted her insides up in complicated ways, what it Lexa was in cahoots with the Queen, what if she sought to use the queen, to use the Ark, to use the Sky people, to get control of that which had been overlooked in the aftermath of the Mount Weather battle? It was all as massively complicated as everything war related but maybe...maybe the double crossing knew no end?

'You are still angry at me?' Lexa wrapped an arm around her and drew her close, until Clarke's face was squished up against the softness of Lexa's chest.

'Yes,' she answered honestly. 'Though it is hard to stay that way.'

'I deserve your anger,' Lexa pressed a kiss to her hair. Clarke tilted her head to try and look at her, but just saw the shadowy shape of her beautiful jaw in the darkness. 'I hurt you,' Lexa explained, 'I hate that I did that.'

'I hate that you did that too,' Clarke hated herself more for snuggling ever closer, despite all her misgivings and fears. Her need of this woman was incredibly hard to fight against.

'When this is over,' Lexa began and then stopped.

'Yes?'

'Will you...and the Sky people, will you come to Polis?'

'I can't answer for everyone Lexa,' Clarke told her.

'You are their leader. They should do as you say.'

'Not our ways,' Clarke smiled in the darkness as Lexa muttered under her breath. 'I will offer them the chance.'

'I...' Lexa trailed off again.

'Spit it out Lexa,' Clarke grumbled.

'When this is over...' Lexa stopped but this time Clarke let the silence stand. 'When it is over, I just want...or need...I need you.'

Clarke swallowed, nerves crashing in on her, her heart racing as if she'd been given a shot of adrenalin. Lexa sounded vulnerable, needy, intimate and her heart wanted it, more than anything and yet she knew - Lexa had taught her after all - that until this was over her head had to be in charge.

'When this is over, we'll talk,' she offered and felt Lexa's arms tighten around her.

Finally warm Clarke dozed until she felt Lexa shift her gently onto the floor before kneeling beside her,

'I will see you soon ai Prisa,' she whispered and pressed a soft kiss to Clarke's traitorous lips, which merely opened to deepen it, to draw Lexa's warmth back to her. Lexa slowed the kiss before resting her forehead on Clarke's. 'Be safe.'

'I will,' she nodded and watched Lexa move near to the other leaders who had entered and to whom she'd given little thought. She should have asked more questions she realized, instead of focussing on her anger at the girl she just wanted to be close to.

The queen returned at five, as promised, entering the darkened room without protection or question, moving silently over to where Clarke and her friends slept.

'Skaiprisa,' the queen rubbed a soothing hand on her good shoulder and Clarke roused herself, nudging Raven at her side, a chain of awakening until all four of them were huddled together, Miller and Raven once again assisting Clarke with sitting, something she hoped she didn't actually still need them for.

'Kwin,' Clarke nodded.

'Have you thought of my offer?' Nia asked, voice like silk.

'We have thought about it. We wish to clarify a number of points.'

'That is acceptable,' Nia nodded.

'You plan to wage war against the coalition?' Clarke furrowed her brow,

'We plan to do what it takes to ensure that we have control of the weapons. You and I Clarke.'

'How many of the weapons should be kept? How many missiles should we destroy?' Clarke glanced at her friends with fake uncertainty.

'Destroy none. They are necessary to limit the conflict outside Mount Weather. They will allow my people to live.'

'And mine?'

'All sky people will live, returned to the Ark to enjoy peaceful freedom on earth,' Nia smiled as if she were describing something delicious to eat.

'What if we don't want to stay at the Ark site? One of us or all of us?'

'Then with peace at our control Clarke, you can go where you wish.'

'And if you decided to use a missile?'

'They're for peacekeeping Clarke,' Nia rushed to reassure.

'Of course.'

'If they are ever used, we would decide together Skaiprisa.'

'So what about the Coalition?' Clarke asked.

'The coalition will stand but it will have a new Commander to lead it,' Nia answered, 'one who understands the needs of the people better, one who understands the threats better.' Clarke couldn't help but think she and her people had been the biggest threat in a while, and Lexa had received criticism for the alliance with them. It was a silly thing for the Queen to say - it revealed too much, though Clarke gave no reaction.

'And the old Commander?'

'She will die. Death by a thousand cuts and I shall take her head.'

'No,' Clarke growled surging forward despite her weakened state, and for a second a flash of fear appeared in Nia's eyes and Clarke saw her reach for her dagger. 'I take her head,' she stated firmly and Nia actually laughed,

'Sha Skaiprisa. You may have her head.'

'Then you may have this deal,' Clarke stuck out her hand and Nia took her forearm.

XOXOXOXOXOXOX 

Lexa returned to the prison in full Commander gear the following morning. She stood before the Sky people with Luna, Mantu and Nia, and eight other women and men Clarke had not met but assumed to be the other clan leaders.

'Sky people,' she announced and every eye in the room was on her. Clarke tried to stand and at once Miller and Monty aided her, helping her move forward to stand before the Commander. Clarke did not want to look weak and she shook off both boys, despite how she swayed. She gave Lexa her best look of defiance, calling on all her emotions immediately after the betrayal to help her get through this without anyone seeing through her in any way.

'Commander?' Clarke snarled, voice full of disdain.

'The Ark have taken the deal,' she announced. 'You and your people will be moved to the Mountain. When you have proven the missiles are permanently destroyed our armies will leave and your people can claim you.'

'You mean kill us,' Clarke snarled.

'What they do with you is not my concern,' Lexa answered cooly.

'Then where is our incentive to disable these weapons? I'm pretty sure you don't trust Ark technicians?'

'Your incentive is that I won't run you through with my sword,' Lexa spoke loudly but didn't yell, stepping forward, her hand on the hilt of said weapon.

'Yeah, well you see I'm not sure that's a huge incentive...death by gun, death by sword...it's much of a muchness and at least if we don't do as you want I have the satisfaction of knowing you'll be blown to pieces,' Clarke attempted a casual shrug but it hurt so bad her eyes fluttered and Miller surreptitiously stepped behind her, prepared to catch her should she fall.

'You came to me talking of nothing but the importance of this planets survival,' Lexa yelled this time, 'you were willing to die for the destruction of those weapons. Here's your chance.'

'You are a despicable person, but your leadership is impeccable. Seems that no matter what, you're led by your head, ruled by your desire to do the right thing for your people,' Clarke's voice was filled with hatred, but she didn't think it would hurt the other leaders to hear it. Hopefully Lexa was as honourable as she was leading Clarke to believe.

'My people are who I am,' Lexa stated pointedly and her voice echoed in Clarke's head -"my people."

'I am unsure whether the people of earth deserve our sacrifice,' Clarke began angrily and the leaders shifted, 'however I spent time with people in villages. I saw what the Mountain did to your people. I know there are people who are good and do not deserve to die. I know there are children and I know that once before someone decided to fire a weapon and that was the end of earth. Therefore we will disarm these weapons, we will behave with honour where none of you had any. We will be the guardians you so clearly need and all we ask in return is that you don't all kill each other when we're dead.'

'Good. We will meet with your mother and then travel to Mount Weather. As part of the deal the Ark have agreed to trials for each of you. I will watch you work on disabling the missiles as will a member of the Ark and three of the clan leaders.'

'Monty doesn't work well under pressure.'

'We are not there to provide pressure but to observe,' Lexa glared at Clarke who glared back.

'Fine,' Clarke conceded, 'but I'm there too, and Monty may need Raven.'

'You five may all be there,' Lexa nodded, a nod Clarke returned. 'The deal is done,' Lexa stated coldly and the leaders nodded as they turned and left, but not before Nia caught Clarke's eye with a look of approval. Lexa remained with her guards, her eyes blazing as she stared at Clarke,

'You must come with me now Clarke,' Lexa stepped forward.

'Why?' she frowned slightly, not keen to leave her people lest there be subterfuge.

'I prepare to meet with your mother and she wishes to see you are well. You will come with me and I will ensure you are well,' Lexa's voice was tight with restraint, though her eyes were wild.

'I need to stay with my people,' Clarke shook her head.

'You have no choice,' Lexa strode forward and her powerful movements alone had Monty and Miller faltering. 'Don't be a child,' she hissed and made to scoop Clarke into her arms.

'Lexa,' Clarke protested, not wishing to be taken like a child but Lexa was so much stronger than her, and she was in the Commanders arms, being held close as Lexa carried her from the prison and across camp into her tent, no one behind them but guards who stationed themselves at the door. 'Put me down,' Clarke mumbled, embarrassed and Lexa did, except not in the way Clarke intended. She allowed Clarke's feet to drop to the floor though her arms wrapped around the Skaiprisa and her lips crashed onto hers, before she was lowering Clarke to the bed and crawling on top of her, kisses needy, almost violent in their quest to be deeper, to claim more of her. Clarke fought her in the first instance - not to end the kisses but for control of them. This was the commander though and she would not give control away, would not allow another to dominate when she had need.

'You make me feel on fire,' her voice was burning, aching, as her hands pushed aside Clarke's shirt and tore her old flimsy bra to pieces so that her warm mouth could suck pliant flesh into her mouth, could lick and flick and bite. Lexa was so turned on she was a mess, and Clarke loved it. Loved her ability to reduce this woman, this powerful goddess to rubble, to make her desperate. Lexa was moaning into warm flesh trailing her face down Clarke's body before popping the button on her pants and literally throwing her boots off her feet so she could yank the offending item from Clarke's body. The commander was feral, wild and unstoppable and yet she did stop. She raised hazy, lust filled eyes to Clarke and begged for permission. 'Ain?' she closed her eyes, breath ragged, hands hovering at Clarke's underwear. One word, a question - mine?

'Sha,' Clarke whispered, feeling a traitor to herself and her doubts as she gave in to her desire. Lexa didn't bother removing her underwear, her mouth, hot and hard, lunged against Clarke, against the burning heat and throbbing pulse, Lexa biting down through the fabric and managing to take her clit with her teeth. 'Fuck,' Clarke keened, back arching.

'Ain,' Lexa's hands ripped her underwear and then her warm tongue was inside of Clarke and she lost it, a needy whimper becoming a groan, as her hand landed on Lexa's head and pushed her further against her. Lexa was relentless, mouth hot, strong and talented as slim fingers swirled and pinched and had a party with her clit until Clarke was so close to and so far from euphoria all at the same time. Her body was on the brink, her hands literally clawing at Lexa's hair, tugging it, as her thighs held her face where it was, but then Lexa, always in charge, slipped her tongue from inside Clarke and sucked her clit hard, as she pushed three fingers into her, pumping hard, fast, desperate, curling them, spreading them, doing Clarke had no idea what only that if felt better than she knew anything could. 'Ain,' Lexa hissed once more before biting gently on Clarke's clit as she thrust her fingers hard and the Skaiprisa's body exploded. She swore every single cell exploded, threw it's own goddamned firework display and she cried out, loudly, before sinking like putty into Lexa's bed. Lexa didn't move, but licked all around, flicking her tongue several times over Clarke's sensitive clit before finally crawling up her body and lying beside her, half on her, hand playing with one of her breasts, face nuzzling the other.

'Hmmm?' Clarke murmured not even sure what she was trying to say. 'I...'

'You are capable of so much more than I ever imagined,' Lexa moved her head against Clarke, her warm breath feeling positively decadent on her bare breast. 'I swore that I would not underestimate you again, not after Mount Weather and I did Clarke, I did. I should have told you everything straight away. I am sorry. You were magnificent.'

'You are always magnificent,' Clarke tightened her good arm around Lexa.

'Ai hod yu in. You believe me, sha?'

'Sha,' Clarke agreed. She did believe Lexa loved her. If there was deceit in the plans, in this war Clarke knew that it was not about love. Then again the deceit, the betrayal at Mount Weather had not been about love either.

'Ai Prisa,' Lexa hummed.

'Ai Heda,' Clarke teased but Lexa seemed to love this term of endearment, sinking further into the Skaiprisa.

'I wish to love you again,' Lexa murmured as she palmed the breast she wasn't currently smiling against.

'I was kinda loud,' Clarke sighed because it felt good. 'Aren't you worried they will know what you are doing?'

'They are far from here eating. Nyko will come check on you soon but my guards are trusted and Indra will ensure people are kept away from our tent. If we are caught we can always argue that they know I favour your body and you are my prisoner after all,' Lexa shrugged as if it were so simple.

'They would think you're raping me? That you would do that?' Clarke was horrified.

'No - they wouldn't think I would force you,' Lexa frowned not understanding, 'but my people, they know that anger and hatred make good sex. I would appear strong if I made you, the one who says she hates so much, cry out with pleasure.'

'That's stupid,' Clarke rolled her eyes. 'If I hated you then I wouldn't want your body anywhere near mine.'

'Even if I told you it was beautiful?' Lexa rested her elbow on the bed and placed her chin on her hand so she could stare at Clarke. 'Even if I told you it makes me wet and needy, and desperate for you? Even if I promised to make you cry out in pleasure again and again?'

'Had a lot of practice have you?' Clarke asked bluntly, killing Lexa's seduction and causing the Commander to blush.

'No,' she answered and then her blush deepened. 'With girls, yes. With making those who don't want sex with me have it willingly, no.'

'Oh.'

'They always wanted sex,' Lexa informed her and horrible, brutal jealousy ripped through Clarke at these stupid girls who had wanted and had her Heda. She wanted to slip her hand between the commanders legs, turn her to mush, make her scream but she couldn't, not with one arm strapped to her chest. She couldn't even balance between spread legs and kiss her because she wasn't strong enough. It was wholly frustrating wanting to wipe the stain of those other girls from skin that was hers and being unable too.

'Take off your clothes,' she groused and Lexa smirked, before rolling off of her and acquiescing to her command by removing her armour bit by bit, then her coat, her sash, her shirt, her pants until she was stood in bindings and underwear.

'Are you worried someone will burst in, needing you?' Clarke asked. 'That you will be forced to ride into battle unbound?'

'No,' Lexa shrugged.

'Then take off your bindings and underwear,' she huffed, before staring entranced as Lexa unwound the binding from her body - the most tantalizing thing in the world. Clarke moaned softly at how beautiful and strong she was, how much she wished to lick and kiss each tattoo. Lexa pushed her underwear off and then climbed back on the bed, Clarke's hand immediately finding her breast, squeezing hard, pinching, just holding. 'Kneel over me,' she ordered and was thrilled when Lexa obeyed. 'A little higher,' she requested until Lexa was kneeling, legs slightly splayed over her stomach. Clarke stared hard before working her hand down Lexa's body, exploring dips and curves, trailing lines on black ink, before she was smoothing soft circles between the Heda's legs, dipping lightly to retrieve moisture before circling her clit and watching as the commander bit her lip, head tilting back, further displaying her body to Clarke, beautiful for it's muscles, strength, lines of ink and scars. She turned her hand in a come hither gesture and slid a finger into the tight warmth loving the gasped moan, she added another and then another, pumping them and using her palm to create friction. It wasn't easy and she wished for two hands but Lexa was sighing, soft moans falling from her lips as her hips thrust down softly. Clarke lowered the back of her hand so it rested on her stomach, creating resistance to the increasing thrust of Lexa's hips. Now she didn't have to move her hand and her thumb could swirl and rub, could help push Lexa over the edge which Clarke so desperately wanted to do, her eyes flicking all over the other girl, wanting to see her face, her body, her own fingers disappearing into the Commander all at the same time.

'Klark,' Lexa was rocking harder and faster and it was such a turn on, especially when she grabbed at Clarke's breast, rough and needy, crushing it in her palm and pinching the nipple hard. Clarke wished she could sit, suck a bouncing breast into her mouth, but Lexa didn't seem to need that as she began to gasp, and pant, moans becoming groans until she dropped her head forward to Clarke's chest and rocked one last time, a low, keening cry swallowed by the kiss she gave to Clarke.

After a few minutes Lexa moved off of Clarke's fingers, heat and wetness pressing to Clarke's thigh as their legs tangled together. Surprising both of them Clarke brought her hand to her mouth and sucked on her fingers, aware of Lexa's dark eyes as she stared at the action.

'You taste sweet,' she moaned softly as Lexa resumed her position half on top of Clarke, this time naked as well, one hand on one breast, face nestled against the other.

'You sound surprised,' she mused, pressing closer.

'Not at all. I think that inside you're nearly all sweet,' Clarke teased flirtatiously.

'I assure you I am not,' Lexa was scathing but Clarke merely sighed,

'You are,' fingers now playing with Lexa's soft hair.

'Maybe for you,' she admitted and Clarke smiled.

'Do the coalition all know about the queen?' she asked and Lexa pinched her nipple hard,

'Do not talk war in my bed,' she huffed. 'I wish to love you again,' she rubbed her nose against Clarke's nipple.

'Lexa, I need to know what is going on,' Clarke protested but Lexa didn't seem to care as she rolled her body between Clarke's, heat and warmth aligning with sighs from both.

'You will ai Prisa, but I wish to love you again,' Lexa rocked as if to prove her point and it felt amazing.

'Sha,' she agreed uselessly.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The calm before the storm. Make sure you appreciate a certain moment when Lexa looks at Clarke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the reviews and reading:-)

**Chapter Eleven**

'Clarke, how did it go?' Miller asked as one of their guys deposited Clarke back with her inner circle.

'Thanks Jeff,' she smiled at him, leaning against the wall. Once he was gone Raven got straight to point,

'Did you talk about what's happening or spend the whole time fucking?'

'Look at her blissed out face...doesn't that answer it for you?' Octavia teased and Clarke knew she was getting redder, especially at Monty's look of wide eyed shock and Miller's laugh.

'I saw my mother,' she announced.

'And how was that?' Raven tilted her head in concern.

'Cold,' Clarke admitted and Octavia smirked,

'Compared to your hot time with the Commander.'

'Why would you even think we were having sex?' Clarke protested.

'Uh, the other leaders may not have been able to see her face but we could, and if her eyes had been lasers she'd have shot your clothes to shreds,' Raven ruffled Clarke's hair. 'I bet it was hot.'

'Even I wanted her in that moment,' Octavia shrugged.

'Did you really sleep with her?' Miller asked.

'I'd be far to terrified,' Monty admitted.

'Until I saw that look on her face I always imagined she'd be kinda cold and frigid in bed,' Octavia mused.

'Really? No way. All that hard, bad ass stuff. And those eyes of hers speak a thousand sins...you know between the furs sins,' Raven stated her opinion on the matter.

'You're right,' Octavia nodded, 'maybe cold and frigid is wrong...but kinda mushy...you know sweet and slow...'

'Oh god, stop, stop now. We have tactics to discuss,' Clarke begged, 

'So you and the Commander spent the last four hours going over tactics and meeting with your mother?' Octavia asked pointedly.

'Uh...after the hot sex, yes,' Clarke knew this conversation would never stole until she just gave them what they wanted to know.

'I knew it,' Raven smirked.

'So when you say hot you mean good but soft and gentle, full of those heart eyes of hers?' Octavia clarified.

'No, I mean hot, needy and God...amazing,' Clarke rolled her eyes, at herself more than anyone else. 'Though yeah, there may have been heart eyes.'

'Fuck,' Octavia whistled.

'Now let's get to what the hell is about to happen,' Clarke was in leader mode.

'You and your fucked up priorities. We could be discussing your amazing experience with the Commander and you choose to focus on saving the world, _God Clarke_ ,' Miller shook his head dramatically.

'Right,' Clarke rolled her eyes, not expecting the tease from Miller. 'So my mom, she was as blank and cold about the whole thing as you'd expect. She asked if I was well. If we were all well, then refused to look at me.'

'She give anything away?' Raven asked.

'Well I know her, so yeah,' Clarke was tired but wasn't going to let that show, especially not given the reason. 'When Lexa mentioned the clan leaders who would be in the Mountain with us and she mentioned Nia, my moms eyes flicked to mine. It was basically a confirmation that she's working with the Azgeda, with Nia.'

'So what are we doing?' Octavia asked, 'because it feels a bit like we're the sacrificial lambs here - everyone's fucking using us and expecting us to die for our cause and I'm beginning to feel pissed about it.'

'Lexa won't let us die,' Clarke stated but Octavia rolled her eyes,

'Because she likes fucking you?'

'No, because she promised.'

'Yeah, well she kinda promised once before.'

'This time is different,' Clarke wasn't sure if she was trying to convince herself or Octavia but the words came out with less conviction that she'd have liked.

'You mean because before you weren't sleeping together?' Octavia frowned.

'No, I mean before we had an alliance. This isn't an alliance. We're not with the Ark anymore. We're her people.'

'Like the Azgeda she plans to slaughter?' Raven asked after a beat and Clarke spent a second or two thinking things through.

'You know they plan to kill all of us, the Ark do.' Clarke shrugged.

'Or maybe they're just telling the truth,' Raven offered. 'They'll pardon us.'

'If you think that tell me now. I mean truly. If you think we can trust Nia more than Lexa tell me. You're my people and this is _our_ plan.'

'I trust Lexa,' Monty shrugged, 'she was truly outraged at the notion we might keep those weapons usable. She said no matter what anyone offers and I think she meant it.'

'True,' Miller agreed. 'And she's just...I don't know, more honest - she doesn't use that sweet voice as if we're kids she's tucking up for the night. Nia made my skin crawl.'

'Not her intention,' Clarke pointed out.

'Yeah, that's what made it crawl even more,' Miller admitted.

'Look O, if you want to hear me say it, I'll say it - I don't trust Lexa. I'm with Monty and Miller though. If there's misinformation she's giving us, it's not about world destruction.'

'Might be about her plans to save us in the end,' Raven muttered, 'and I'm so not ready to die.'

'I don't know...I'm inclined to trust her,' Octavia sighed, 'it's just it's us on the line. Bell and Lincoln in the Mountain, us in that room relying on Monty's mad skills to trick everyone, us being handed to the Ark with the Azgeda ready to inflict annihilation. It's all a lot.'

'Good thing everybody underestimates us isn't it?' Clarke asked pointedly. 'No matter what anyone thinks we're certainly not going back to the Ark and my mother - pardon or no pardon. We have our plan guys. If you want to change it, speak now, because we can and will.'

'You still planning to tell everyone else in this room what's going on?' Miller asked.

'Well yeah, they sure as hell know we aren't sitting here waiting to be slaughtered - they know you have a plan,' Raven answered for Clarke.

'Think they can hold it together?' Miller asked.

'I think everyone has underestimated us since we got to earth, and they're stupid because we've done nothing but meet and exceed those expectations. These people in this room have shown nothing but strength and resilience. They can absolutely hold it together.'

'Alright,' Octavia nodded.

'How you doing Clarke? I mean shoulder wise?' Raven asked.

'Uh, ok,' Clarke blushed.

'What's with the blush?' Octavia zeroed right in on it and Clarke found her head full of lying on Lexa's bed naked, Lexa lying on her front and drawing patterns across Clarke's body with her fingers, or curled into her side hand on one breast, face on the other. Lexa had sent for food, and Clarke had eaten better than she had since arriving on earth, better than ever, period. Nyko had eventually come, once they had bathed and Lexa had bound her chest for her and dressed her. Clarke hadn't thought someone dressing her would be erotic but it was, when that someone was Lexa and she had to kiss each body part before covering it with clothing. Nyko had given her herbs for the pain, rubbed more ointment on the wound and redone her sling. She felt better than she had in days and incredibly relaxed - physically at least. Mentally she was confused and she felt like she finally understood what Lexa was always saying about head and heart. She was in love with the Commander. There was absolutely no point in denying it any longer when her heart was literally bursting with the emotion of it and Lexa dominated nearly all of her thoughts. Yet she had to put her people first. Until this was over trust was an issue. There were so many things going on that Clarke had to put her people, and their lives, above whatever other emotions she might have. She knew that this might cost her whatever it was she had with the Commander, but she was committed to being ruled by her head - which was what Lexa had taught her.

'I'm feeling better,' she acknowledged.

'And the blush?'

'That's for the why I'm feeling better,' Clarke admitted.

'You're in love with her aren't you?' Raven narrowed her eyes at Clarke.

'My emotions have no baring in this situation whatsoever. We all decided our priorities and that's what we aim for.'

'But you are, right?'

'So let's go over things one more time and when night falls I'll speak to the people. We leave for the Mountain in the morning so we don't have much time,' she ignored the looks her friends gave one another and focussed on task. She was their leader and she had to act like it. 'Look,' she hesitated, 'do you trust me?'

They should. She knew that. She'd done too many horrific things in order to save them, but she'd never had this conflict of heart. One by one they nodded and she felt a swell of pride, a determination to do what was necessary for her people.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

The door to their prison opened early the following morning and the entrance filled with Grounder warriors, stood behind Lexa, Nia, Mantu and Luna - the leaders apparently chosen to oversee of the mission at the mountain. The others were no doubt distributed with the army around the Ark and Mountain ready to oversee whatever insanity might ensue.

'It is time to leave,' Lexa announced and Clarke stood, something she finally managed without assistance and moved to stand in front of the girl who had loved her many, many times the previous day.

'We have decided that we are not going,' Clarke announced and Lexa's eyes narrowed, 'not unless all of our people come too. Dalla will need to ride a horse and the others will take the furs you gave us in order to stay warm.'

'This is not a time of negotiation,' Lexa growled, clearly irritated with Clarke's surprise show of defiance. Even Nia's brow was furrowed - after all everyone seemed to think they had the Sky People in their pocket.

'Why not? We have the most to negotiate with. The Ark people want us and you need us. You don't trust them to destroy the weapons but you do trust us, and they won't let you near the mountain unless you give them us. I for one think we're in the perfect position to negotiate.'

'Clarke, what is this?' Lexa snapped.

'You're not the only leader in this room Lexa. My people have a leader too and that's me. Just because we don't want you all blown to smithereens doesn't mean we don't have our own agenda.'

'And what is your agenda?' Lexa asked eyes dark, presence deliberately intimidating.

'Well you see it's _our_ agenda and we're not sharing. Firstly though, we're not going anywhere without our people,' Clarke crossed her arms aware of Raven, Octavia, Miller and Monty at her back.

'You think we cannot just take you from them?' Lexa was clearly furious.

'Oh I know you can force us from them, but you can point knives and guns at us and we won't do what you want unless our people are with us.'

Lexa stared at her, lip curling up before she turned and spoke in rapid Trigedeslang to the others in the room. An argument raged for several minutes before Lexa turned back to them.

'Fine. Tell them to be ready in five minutes.'

'They're ready now,' Clarke stated and as one her people stood, looking fierce in their own way. Lexa glared at Clarke and turned. Clarke followed with the others behind her. Once in the open air she whistled twice, as loudly as she could and waited. As her horse appeared the Grounders immediately irrupted in Trigedeslang again and this time it felt like Lexa was defending her, especially when she turned and helped lift her onto the saddle.

'What are you doing?' she hissed.

'Head over heart Lexa,' Clarke pointed out. 'I am my people.'

'As am I,' Lexa stated pointedly, clearly indicating that Clarke was her people, but was forced to step back when Miller and Monty appeared with the Dalla, old woman who had ridden behind Clarke when they left Camp Jaha, and they placed her on the saddle behind Clarke.

'Lets get going then,' Clarke urged and Lexa nodded, face not a mask, but shining with anger, though Clarke couldn't let that bother her - it wasn't the first time she'd made the Commander angry and it wouldn't be the last.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

'You will be shown to a room to rest, then once you have eaten and renewed your energy the five of you will be shown to the room where Monty will destroy the missile capabilities,' Lexa said as they stood outside the Mountain. 'Your mother is here though all others remain at the Ark.' Clarke knew this of course but it didn't hurt to have the other clan leaders think it was brand new information.

'How many are in the mountain?' she asked pointedly and Lexa tilted her head to one side.

'I am told there are twenty Ark people, those who originally came to stake claim to the site.'

'Twenty,' Clarke nodded. 'My people are unwilling to go in there unarmed.'

'You wish to have weapons?' Lexa was genuinely outraged. 'You are part of a deal that has been made. I cannot give you weapons.'

'Then we will not do as you ask us to do,' she shrugged. 'Once the job is done we will surrender our weapons but they have bombs and we're not going in there unarmed. What is to stop them killing us all, all it takes is one person wanting revenge?'

At once Mantu began bellowing in Tridegasleng, arguing with Indra who was being incredibly vocal. Nia was staring at Clarke, eyes appraising, Luna looking similarly pensive as Lexa yelled back at Mantu, so angrily everyone turned to stare at her. She then began to speak slowly, calmly. If only Clarke had the first clue what she was saying.

'We cannot give you weapons,' Lexa growled, clearly unimpressed by Clarke's last minute show of power. 'The Ark people would never accept it.'

'Right,' Clarke nodded and then looked Lexa in the eye, 'then I want one of your warriors in there, each one will be someone that was saved from that mountain. I helped save them. You may claim it was you but without me and my people by your side, you wouldn't have got as far as you did. I want one armed Trikru warrior for each of my people.'

Lexa's back was to the other clan leaders so when she stared at Clarke like she was a walking, talking embodiment of a miracle no one saw but Clarke and her people. Not only had Clarke ensured over one hundred of her people in the mountain, many of whom carried hidden bombs that no one, not even Lexa knew about, but she had ensured over one hundred of Lexa's armed warriors, which would hopefully level the playing field somewhat considering they didn't know how many traitorous Azgeda were in the mountain. Lexa schooled her expression, extremely happy about the hundred or so armed Trikru going into the mountain. Clarke kept her expression defiant as the Commander turned and spoke in rapid Tridegasleng. She was realizing she found Lexa incredibly sexy in full Commander mode. Clarke stared at them all defiantly, ignoring the look in Nia's eyes that questioned her actions. Quite honestly Clarke was sick to death of everyone playing her and her people. Especially when they were trying to do the right thing all the time.

'I don't know why you're bother debating it, this deal is shot if you don't do as we ask. We're not going to destroy the weapons unless we feel safe,' she spoke as if extremely tired with the whole thing. She watched Lexa's shoulders stiffen as she and the clan leaders spoke together.

'That is acceptable, though it will take time to find those who you requested.'

'It shouldn't take all that long,' Clarke gave a dismissive role of her eyes, 'send a rider through the people, hell shout it out to the Warriors around us and they'll come. I know that some are thankful and they will willingly stand to defend us,' her words were arrogant and Lexa looked suitably irritated, but she did as Clarke said. She bellowed the order at the Warriors around them, and immediately some began moving through the crowd. 'Sit and rest if you need to,' Clarke said to her people, though she remained standing despite her fatigue, Miller and Monty holding her up, Raven and Octavia flanking her, none of them willing to show weakness.

'Awesome job Princess,' Raven murmured.

'Yep. When we getting my brother?'

'Patience,' Clarke whispered, 'stick to plan, it'll work.'

'Ok,' Octavia conceded.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

It took over an hour for the Warriors Clarke had requested to arrive. Or enough of them to match the numbers of Sky people. At length one hundred and fifteen Warriors were amassed.

'I want one warrior to stand with each of us,' Clarke yelled and Lexa turned to her army,

'You heard her,' she growled and the men and women each moved to stand beside a Sky person. Clarke nodded her head in greeting to the enormous man who stood beside her. 'Arlo,' she smiled.

'Skaiprisa,' he smiled also, but they stood to attention as a horn blew. At length the door to the mountain opened and her mother and Jaha stepped out surrounded by men with guns and bags clearly containing bombs.

'This isn't what we agreed,' her mother shouted at Lexa.

'Talk to your daughter,' Lexa managed to sound condescending, strong and furious all in one go.

'Clarke?'

'Funnily enough my people and I don't have a lot of trust for any of you,' Clarke said with a fake sweet smile.

'And what? You expect me to let you in with all of them?'

'Well the way I see it you don't have much choice. You started a war you can't finish and you need me and my people to meet your side of the bargain you made. You want land, you want us and you want to live in peace. Well in order to meet your side of the bargain they,' she gestured behind her to the Grounders, 'they want us to disarm your bombs. Well we won't go in that mountain without protection because we don't trust any of you.'

'And you trust the Grounders that turned on you?' her mother scathed.

'These Grounders didn't turn on me. Each Trikru coming in with us is one that was freed from this mountain. They have loyalty to their Commander but they also have loyalty to me.'

'I'm not letting an army in here,' her mother crossed her arms.

'I'm not coming in without my people and they're not coming in without protection,' Clarke mimicked her mother, arms folded across her chest.

'This isn't what we agreed,' Abby turned to Lexa.

'We will not accept that this is done unless the boy, Monty, does it,' Lexa growled.

'You trust a boy you've betrayed?' Abby scoffed.

'I trust a boy willing to sacrifice his life to stop you firing those weapons,' Lexa stated.

'That was before you betrayed him,' Abby began and Clarke could feel things beginning to unravel.

'Mom, their army is surrounding our camp, it's surrounding this mountain. Raven said the people at the Ark are hungry. I'm tired, I'm hurt, I'm...' she heaved in a breath, 'I'm angry,' she shot a look over her shoulder at Lexa, 'and I just want this to be over. I want to go home and God...' she sniffed, 'I don't even know where that is anymore.'

'Clarke,' her mother softened and reached out a hand, running it over Clarke's fair hair, 'just do as agreed,' her mother said the words very carefully, 'and we can all go home and live together peacefully.'

'As agreed,' Clarke nodded. 'I just...it's not just me mom. The people, they won't let me go without them, scared they'll be double crossed. I got them into this mess so it's my job to get them out of it.'

'Do they really need the bodyguards?' her mom actually took her hand.

'They feel they do. Mom, you have guns and bombs...there's no reason to worry for you and yet we have every reason to fear. Please...can we just end this?' Clarke beseeched her mother, eyes wide and glazed with tears. At length Abby nodded, just once, curtly but giving permission. Clarke looked to Lexa and she and the other three clan leaders and their body guards entered after Abby and Jaha. Clarke and Arlo waited and it was Luna who turned to her.

'Are you not coming?'

'After my people,' she stated and Luna pulled back with her guard.

'I will follow you Skaiprisa,' she waited beside Clarke as the sky people filed in, each accompanied by their bodyguard, then she and Clarke entered the mountain together, Arlo and Luna's bodyguard behind them followed by the Ark guards who locked the door behind them.


	12. 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inside Mount Weather

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so I feel like I could rework this chapter a million times and never be quite happy with it. It's nearly 9,000 words long and it's epic. I hope get all of it - it's a lot of stuff happening, but it brings things to nearly the end. I really hope you get why Clarke does what she does. There will be more on it next chapter so if you're unsure why, hold out for next chapter. I'm sorry this took so long!
> 
> I have loved reading every bit of feedback on this so far - so a big thank you - I will try and respond soon! I worked hard on this and would love to know what you think:-) so let me know!

**Chapter Twelve**

Clarke yawned, her eye catching Lexa's across the room. The Sky people and their guards were down in the mess hall and Clarke didn't like being so far away. Bellamy was hidden in the vents with Lincoln hopefully somewhere near the mess hall and armed. They were too fragmented and it wasn't sitting well with Clarke. Monty was typing on the computer, occasionally asking Raven to do something or other and everyone else in the room was so bored they were dozing off. At first Lexa, Abby, Jaha, Nia, Mantu and Luna had all stood to attention, staring at Monty as if they expected things to happen quickly. It became apparent at once that they wouldn't be happening anytime soon and as time had passed, everyone had moved away, found seats, until only guards were stood to attention.

Nia was sat in a comfy chair, eyes shut as her head lay splayed on a pillow. Her guard was vigilant, weapon actually drawn as he defended his sleeping queen. Luckily he didn't have a view of Clarke or Lexa from his vantage point, each girl slumped across the room from one another out of sight of other significant people such as Abby and Jaha who sat on the couch, heads together as they spoke in hushed whispers. Those who could see them were resting their eyes. Which was lucky because Lexa waggled her eyebrows at Clarke who felt a spontaneous smile rise to her face, a smile which grew when Lexa, the stoic a Commander of twelve clans, turned her eyes towards her nose making herself cross eyed. Clarke covered her mouth and turned her laugh into another yawn. Apparently her stoic Commander was bored.

'You ok?' Lexa mouthed across at her and she gave a tiny nod. Lexa looked around the room, checking for any eyes on them then covered her heart with her hand and pointed at Clarke, a small subtle point, but a clear gesture none the less. It was cheesy and silly and so unexpected, especially from someone who was always on duty, always thinking about her people, from someone who was currently fighting what was hopefully the final battle of a war. Of course the final battle was currently being fought in an incredibly boring way, thus the gesture was perfect and Clarke found herself touching the space over her heart and pointing subtly back at Lexa who blushed beautifully. Clarke's smile grew. She could see Lexa shift, move as though she wanted to come closer. Instead she just fixed those eyes of hers on Clarke, chin resting in her hand.

'Clarke,' Ravens voice broke the silence a few minutes later. It was soft, not the voice of someone trying to get the rooms attention. 'Help us for a second?'

'Hmm,' she sent one last lingering look at Lexa and allowed Raven to help her up, before moving quietly to where Monty was tapping away, putting in some code that looked like nothing to her, but then again, computers had never really been her strong suit. 'How's it going?' they all spoke in soft whispers.

'It's as I said it was,' Monty gave her a pointed look, 'job was done before we got here.'

'My mom lied?' Clarke mouthed the words.

'Yes,' he nodded and then mouthed back, 'no missiles.' Clarke gave a nod.

'So?'

'Two programs...' Monty showed her, 'total simulations. This,' he brought up one, 'shows ability to "access" the missiles and this,' he shut it down and opened another shows "missiles destroyed."'

'Ok, keep that one up,' Clarke nodded.

'Not a problem. Are we go?' Monty arched his brows.

'We're go. You absolutely sure the first can never be done?'

'I had Raven fix what was broken and no. We've broken more since.'

'Well done,' Clarke impulsively leaned forward and kissed his cheek, feeling the controller he slipped in her pocket, an integral part of their Sky People plan. She would have hugged him but her arm made it a half embrace. Clarke stood and coughed to get people's attention. She wasn't entirely surprised to see the Commander on her feet already, waiting with a look of irritation on her face directed at Monty. The other leaders in the room looked to Clarke and she waited, waited for Raven, Octavia and Miller to be stood with her and Monty, waited until their body guards flanked them in a more alert manner, waited until Lexa and the other clan leaders stood to one side and Abby, Jaha and their guns stood to the other. Now came the tricky bit.

'Is it done? Are the missiles destroyed?' Lexa asked and Clarke allowed her eyes to flick to her mother's, then Nia's, heck she threw in a look at Luna and Mantu for good measure,

'Yes, it's done,' she said and as Lexa strode forward Nia caught her eye and she gave a nearly imperceptible nod. The queen could barely hide her smile. Clarke waited until Lexa was in the midst of her group with her friends and their guards around her before she caught her mother's eye. The double crossing was making her dizzy but she really hoped they could get out of this without anyone she loved dying. Monty was demonstrating to Lexa how the missiles were useless and Lexa, bless her, was nodding clearly thrilled even if she tried to hide it with stoicism.

'Come,' she gestured to Nia, Luna and Mantu and the other three leaders moved across for Monty's explanation and show. The crowd behind Clarke was bigger now, and only her mother and Jaha and their armed guards stood before her. Her mother gave her a searching look, the kind of look that as the woman's kid had always irritated her. It was a "are you really going out dressed like that" look, a "really, you're dating that person" look, a look that was way too invasive and judgemental, but Clarke swallowed down her irritation and gave one curt nod, a nod that was meant to tell her mother that they had done as per Nia's plan, that the weapons were now functional and would be kept as a peace keeping tool for the Azgeda, the Sky people and the Ark. Clarke watched her mother's eyes find those of the queen behind her, then her mother smiled and nodded. In that moment Clarke actually hated her.

What happened next happened fast, faster than Clarke had expected. The queen made some noise, whether by her mouth or an instrument Clarke didn't know, but at once doors were bursting open and at least thirty Azgeda Warriors stood there, weapons raised. Lexa stood at once, sword drawn in the tight space, but Nia's dagger was also raised, ready to be flung at Lexa's heart. Lexa had talked to Clarke about this moment, warned her to stay cool, to accept the hatred she flung at her and to stay out of the fight, reminding Clarke of her injury. Lexa had begged Clarke to let her protect her, but Clarke did not like the dagger pointed with such deadly accuracy, and did not like how they were out numbered. She sincerely hoped Bellamy and Lincoln had made their way to those in the mess hall and that the Ark guards and nearby Azgeda were being taken out without bloodshed of her people, so that she had further people joining them soon. Of course that relied on Bellamy being believed by the Trikru that the Asgeda were the enemy. Clarke trusted the Trikru would believe him.

'What are your warriors doing Nia?' Lexa growled still on the defensive, her body subtly positioned between Clarke and Nia, something Clarke noticed. These days she noticed everything.

'Show them Skaiprisa,' Nia's voice was strong and powerful and downright gleeful.

'Sure. Monty,' she spoke in a clear, calm voice and watched Lexa, Mantu and Luna stare expressionless as Monty showed them the weapons still functional and online, usable only through the input of codes.

'What is this?' Lexa turned to look at her and Clarke actually gulped at her rage even though Lexa knew this would be happening. Lexa said her anger was important as it would protect her from Nia. Sword still drawn Lexa strode through everyone until the blade of her sword was against Clarke's sternum. 'What is this?' she bellowed, causing chaos in the room as Trikru guards turned on the defensive though they didn't seem clear as to who was the enemy. Of course they were woefully out numbered with her mother's guards and the Azgeda Warriors.

'None of you can be trusted,' Clarke yelled back, 'so I was given a better plan, one that allows me and my people a life.'

'Your better plan was to put control of those weapons in the hands of the Ice Queen?' Lexa stormed.

'She plans to use them for peace keeping, she and I together.'

'Not you,' Abby interjected. 'You are a child Clarke and the queen recognizes that, recognizes the dangers that arise when children try to lead,' Abby threw a pointed look at Lexa. ' _We_ will keep these missiles for peace keeping,' Abby stated and Clarke wished her mother wasn't quite so naive. She and Jaha, they were strong people but apparently too fixed on the old ways to adapt fully to this new world. When the Azgeda flanking them held knives to the throats of their guards, effectively disarming them Clarke almost felt sorry for them, especially as Abby sputtered her protests, protests that died as the knives threatened her.

'Clarke is the leader of the Sky people, not you,' Nia announced, clearly thrilled with her moment of triumph. Tensions in the room increased until Clarke felt stifled. Her mother, she was the enemy, and she had hatred for her, but she was still her mother and she was surrounded by hostile people. Lexa still had a sword to her chest, one that may very well slice through her in the next few minutes because, while Lexa was currently doing some great acting, Clarke was about to deviate from her plan with the Commander, and it was guaranteed to make Lexa's rage at her real.

'Can we get control here,' Clarke looked to Nia, and gestured to the sword at her chest.

'She will not run you through because we have a missile pointed at Polis and to fire it...all I have to do is type in this code?' Nia spoke smoothly to Monty who nodded. 'And if she runs you through, I shall,' Nia announced and Lexa stood away from Clarke, shaking with a fury Clarke knew was really at the Queens audacity and cruelty. Lexa lowered her sword.

'What is this Nia?' Mantu was bellowing and then as was typical he began to yell in a loud voice, his Tridegasleng fast and furious Polis and Nowe being all Clarke could understand.

'Pleni,' Nia shouted, 'for too long we have suffered under the leadership of this _child_. Today we go out of this room, out of this mountain and I will kill her in front of the people she has betrayed with her bad leadership and weak decisions. But first I show power to the people, I show them that I am in charge,' she leaned across Monty and pressed keys.

'No,' Monty yelled, but she hit him aside, a brutal smack to the face that had Clarke moving in her direction, even as Miller pulled him aside and the Queen finished tapping.

'Now Polis is no more,' she shrugged. 'We can start anew.' Lexa immediately struggled to reach Nia, yelling viciously, words Clarke couldn't understand, unrelenting, but Nia held her movements, 'think Lexa, what town shall I destroy next?' her fingers moved over the keys and Lexa halted, uncertainly, eyes flicking to Clarke, who looked entirely calm.

'What are you doing?' Abby yelled as Clarke did her best to stand tall and appear strong. She didn't need to try as hard as she thought she did. She was however angry and that anger filled every word as she bellowed at Nia,

'You said it was peacekeeping,' she stepped right into Nia's body space, 'you said...'

'I said what was necessary to get you to do as I wanted you stupid girl,' Nia hissed as a body guard stepped behind Nia who waved her dagger in Clarke's face.

'So you aren't working with the Ark? You are a traitor to the Commander, a traitor to the coalition of the twelve clans, a traitor to the Ark and the Sky People?'

'I am a traitor to no one. I am a hero. I rule alone. Like all leaders my responsibility is to my people, _the Azgeda._ When the clans recognize me as a Commander then I will have loyalty to them too. Until then they are enemies, and as enemies they need to see the strength of the power I hold.'

'So you kill thousands?' Clarke stared at the screen and then shut her eyes as it indicated the missile had hit.

'Now all will know that I will not stand around while intruders come in and kill us, that I take decisive action.'

'We're next right? I mean, we're the intruders?' Clarke clarified and Nia shrugged,

'Yes and I believe you will go next,' she leaned down to the computer and began tapping and Abby lost it, throwing herself away from the group of Azegda and yelling,

'We had a deal, you can't just kill us all,' she was restrained by an Azgeda warrior in seconds, his arm braced around her throat and a knife pointing to her side. He looked to Nia who nodded.

'I wouldn't if I were you,' Clarke yelled.

'Really?' Nia paused and everyone looked to Clarke.

'That computer controls nothing,' she shrugged, with a caustic laugh. 'Polis is fine Lexa, and the Ark is safe, mom.'

'What?' Nia didn't manage to hide her expression at all, as the colour flooded and her skin became a sickly white. Lexa stood triumphantly behind Clarke.

'No, control of those bombs is with me,' Clarke shrugged, 'and only me. I put the codes in and I have the device that actually controls them right here,' she pulled a small electronic device from her pocket where Monty had put it, it had a plastic cover that protected the keys and could be lifted. 'In fact right at this moment I don't have to do a thing with codes because this is ready to go. One bomb pointed at Polis, one right on the town where you come from Nia, and one on the Ark.'

'You double crossing bitch,' Nia yelled enraged and surging forward.

'Says you,' Clarke yelled back, flicking back the plastic and putting her fingers over the device, halting Nia's progress. 'Even if you kill me I can press these buttons in my pocket before I die.'

'Clarke what are you doing?' Lexa moved and looked at her stunned, a myriad of expression on her face, mostly confusion.

'Who can I trust?' Clarke stated, 'Who can my people trust? No one. We know _our_ agenda - that's peace - but you people seem to think survival can only be achieved at the end of a sword or with missiles. Life is tough down here but only because we make it so. Enough striving for power,' she stared at Nia, 'control,' she looked to her mother, 'and enough betrayal,' she looked to Lexa ignoring the hurt mingled with the anger in the Commanders eyes. 'We have the power to destroy you all at the touch of a button and we will if you fight.'

'Clarke, that's not the way,' Lexa's face was fixed in fury and even fear. 'We spoke of this and no one, not even you, can carry that responsibility. You are not a god.'

'No,' Clarke shook her head loving Lexa and the truth that seemed to be in her soul, 'just a leader doing what is best for her people. Head over heart.'

'You will pay for this,' Lexa growled. 'The world will pay for this when you inevitably destroy us all.'

'No, you will pay, if I decide you should. The Azgeda need to leave,' Clarke spoke firmly to Nia. 'Your warriors will go - back to the north and you will be tried for treason in Polis. If your warriors kill one person on their way I will fire the missile that aims for your town.'

'You stupid child,' the queen bellowed at the same time as Lexa stared at her horrified,

'Clarke,' her voice sounded broken. 'You can't kill all those innocent people. Her warriors are here.'

'I've killed innocent people before,' Clarke pointed out. 'In this mountain. For the good of _my_ people. And yet constantly people try to manipulate and control us,' she turned from Lexa, her green eyes awash with hurt almost too much to deal with, Lexa's pain made Clarke's heart hurt. She turned back to Nia, 'tell your warriors to leave.'

'I have an army here large enough to rival the other eleven clans and I will be leaving with that device. My army is loyal to me and will not leave without me,' Nia took immediate action, her arm circling Monty, dagger to his throat. Clarke had been expecting something like that and she and the others stood closer together.

'It's your choice Nia. You can kill my friend but I will press this button,' her finger hovered and she saw Nia's eyes hesitate.

'You wouldn't.'

'Ask the Mountain people that...ask their children,' she scoffed, 'ask my mother...'

Nia's eyes flitted to Abby and then back over Clarke,

'Clarke,' Abby sounded pained and Clarke turned to her with incredulity,

'Are you honestly trying to urge caution to me, to give me advice? You planned to kill all of them and now you think it's wrong because the trigger is in my hand and not yours?'

'I just think we all need to take a step back, reassess,' Abby urged.

'Because missiles are pointing at your people?' Clarke asked and her mother paled, her hands actually shaking. 'A little hypocritical don't you think?'

'You started this mess because you called using these missiles madness,' Abby growled into the tense standoff. Clarke knew that Lexa would be thinking, her brain turning everything over, working out how to regain the upper hand, working through what she could only see as Clarke's betrayal.

'You planned to use them and I only plan to use them if forced,' she looked pointedly to Nia who's dagger still pricked the skin of a stressed looking Monty.

'You want your friend to die? Your friends to die?' Nia asked, 'isn't this all for their survival?'

'You kill him and I kill thousands,' Clarke shrugged. 'We all came into this fight knowing we might die. Especially with all of you trying to use us. Lexa betraying us to make a deal, you offering us pardons if we kept the missiles for your use, and the Ark, my own mother, bargaining our lives for the ability to yet again take control from those who were living here first. You'd think history would have taught us all,' she shook her head. 'You want to know what I'm still struggling with? It's what happens to this remote,' she spun it in her hands carefully much like Lexa had done with her dagger on that first meeting of theirs. 'If I gave it to my mother, to the Ark, well I'm pretty sure she'd blow up the outlying clans and anywhere far enough from the Ark out of spite? At this point anyway because you mom, you and the Ark...you're as good as dead now you've been so thoroughly duped,' Clarke pursed her lips for a moment,

'We just wanted a fair chance,' Abby murmured.

'Try respecting the people who live here then,' she yelled angrily, 'empire's never worked - they always fell no matter how many people the invading army killed or sought to control. And we are invaders. The earth may have been our destiny but it didn't make it ours to take.'

'Clarke,' her mom looked like she wanted to say more, but Clarke turned to Nia.

'Nia, you want this remote and I figure there's one of two reasons. One you might be exactly who I think you are. Someone who wants control, to be the Commander. Someone willing to kill thousands to achieve that. I think you really want to kill Lexa and control the coalition. If that's true, with this device I'm pretty certain you'll start with death of the Ark and a big hit on Trikru Warriors and of course Polis.'

'The current Commander has served her usefulness.'

'But you see there was one other thought that we had before we came here. One where you and the Commander were working together. All this,' she gestured to the tense room, 'it could all be an act to deceive me and my people, to get us to do what you wanted,' Clarke swallowed, 'maybe you and the Commander were working together. Maybe we didn't know your exact plan but there was a possibility that neither of you were being honest. Perhaps all the betrayal and distrust were so we would distrust you Lexa, and then trust Nia,' Clarke turned to the Commander. 'You know me Lexa and you knew a second betrayal...well you knew I would doubt you. And what better way to get me to listen to Nia than to tell me not to. To urge me to destroy the missiles no matter what, perhaps with the aim that I wouldn't because I was angry. That's why I did this,' Clarke held up the device. 'I hoped you were telling the truth, and given Nia's desire to destroy Polis you probably were..but maybe that's just her double crossing coming out. I have to admit I'm dizzy with the whiplash from shifting who I trust. So in the end we decided to trust no one but ourselves. Nia's betrayal of you here and now, it doesn't mean you didn't plan to betray us. You see it was all too smooth and maybe it really was. Nia would hand us to the Ark and the coalition would have missiles that could get rid of us all once and for all. Your warriors would withdraw and we would die and life could resume for you as if we were never here. So I guess that's my final thought. Should this controller go to you Commander?' she finally met Lexa's gaze and the woman looked like she'd been hit, bludgeoned in the stomach hard. Her eyes were wide and she was staring at Clarke a mixture of outrage and fear in her eyes, green eyes glazed.

'Clarke,' she stuttered her name.

'Is this what you wanted? Was this the end game? Did you ask us to destroy the missiles with the hopes that my anger at you made me do the opposite? Has the Queen betrayed you now or was she always a traitor? Are you the person I think you are? I person I want? Do you want this Lexa?' she held out the device. You push this button,' she gestured to one of the buttons, 'and Nia's town, her people are gone. This one for the Ark. Get rid of all those people that have caused you so much trouble. If that was your plan I bet your warriors have already retreated. Was this all so you could end up with control?' Clarke asked and then strode across the room right into Lexa's body space despite the drawn sword and the fact that Lexa was physically shaking with something - anger, fear, hurt, pain, Clarke had no true idea. 'Here,' she took Lexa's hand and pressed the device into it. 'Be in charge and live with the choices you make. My people and I are going to leave.'

'I _don't_ want this,' Lexa broke, and she had Clarke pressed against the nearest wall in a second, dagger at her throat, her sword dropped on the floor. 'I never wanted this. I told you to destroy them. I told you not to listen to offers. Why would you think that this was my goal?'

'Why would I know what to think?' Clarke yelled back. 'You left me to die once after saying you cared but led with your head. You betrayed us again, imprisoned us with promises of saving us. I wanted to believe you spoke the truth but it had reached the point where I couldn't tell the lies from the truth.'

'You think I lied about how I feel?' Lexa roared, 'you think I needed to give you love for you to believe me? For what purpose? So you would betray me? You really think that was all an act?'

'No,' Clarke answered softly, 'no, I think you feel for me...'

'I don't _feel_ for you. I _live_ for you. Your people are my people. I gave you my word and you choose to doubt me and insult me with this,' she shook the remote in Clarke's face. 'It should never be so easy to inflict death on so many, I don't want this,' she shut the plastic over the buttons and glowered.

'Fine you don't want it,' Clarke stated and snuck a hand inside Lexa's jacket, smoothing her hand across the commanders waist all the while staring at her face. 'Good,' she whispered, 'you are everything I hoped you would be,' she pressed against Lexa's arm and the dagger which knicked her skin, in order to press a kiss to her lips. 'Ai hod yu in,' she whispered and then the dagger clattered to the floor and Lexa was kissing her hard, a mixture of anger and affection in the kiss. It wasn't an entirely healthy kiss, it wasn't like the kisses they had shared the day before but it was still Lexa kissing her. Clarke tugged Lexa closer and then slowed the kiss, staring at her dark eyes, 'let's finish this.'

'Yes,' Lexa nodded. Clarke fixed her eyes on Monty and then grabbed the remote from Lexa.

'Nia, catch,' she called and threw the device to Nia's right. The queen dropped Monty and launched herself at it, at the same moment as Lexa turned to face her, weaponless, confused and absolutely devastated.

'Clarke,' she gasped.

'Trust me,' Clarke urged and looked to Arlo, 'take Nia, take the traitor,' she urged, but everyone stayed painfully still as Nia held up the device, the plastic open and her finger on the buttons.

'Clarke,' her mother gasped.

'How could you sacrifice your own people,' from Jaha.

Mantu was back to bellowing in Tridegasleng and Luna looked furious. Lexa though, she appeared destroyed, especially when Nia pressed the buttons, her hands moving to cover her eyes.

'It's ok,' Clarke whispered softly to Lexa's shaking, broken figure. 'Lexa, trust me, it's ok. The Ark never had the missiles, Monty destroyed them before the Ark ever took the mountain. The device is useless, it's all useless and listen...our army are here,' Clarke knew Lexa must have heard the distant explosions.

'What?' Lexa lowered her arm and stared at the Skaiprisa. 'You really didn't trust me,' Lexa looked at her with dawning realization and Clarke momentarily looked away, hating the hurt in her eyes.

'I couldn't, not after the Mountain, not when you turned on me and hurt me a second time.'

'It wasn't real,' Lexa's voice was faint, and when Clarke looked at her she realized the stoic, strong commander was trying to hold back tears. The wetness in green eyes ripped Clarke apart.

'Lexa, focus on the battle. You can't die. _Please._ '

'Fine,' Lexa scooped up her dagger and sword in one swift move, 'but this argument isn't over.'

'Lexa,' Clarke called as the commander assessed the room.

'What?' she barked, multiple emotions warring on the face of a woman who tried to show none.

'I want to love you again,' Clarke wanted her to get it, needed her too because she and friends at this moment were the most vulnerable in the room. The Trikru thought they'd allowed Nia to blow their world and people apart and they had no weapons. Clarke moved cautiously to Raven, Octavia, Monty and Miller. The small group's best fighters were injured, Raven was slow, Miller was used to guns and Monty was used to staying out of it. Lexa shifted until she was in front of them.

'To harm the Sky people is to harm me,' she yelled loudly and apparently it was enough for people to realize the Commander knew something they didn't. The room erupted but only Azgeda made any move towards Clarke and her friends. Clarke had seen Lexa fight before, but not like this. Not in close quarters and in defence of her. She was lethal. Magnificent and it seemed no one could defeat her. She fought two at a time as Luna fought Nia, and Mantu ran at Azgeda like a whirlwind, knocking them down in fury. Clarke looked around the room and saw the Azgeda go for her mother and Jaha as if in slow motion. Without thinking, in utter spontaneity she left the safety Lexa was providing and ran for them, ran for the fallen guards and their guns. She might have made it if she wasn't tired, if she hadn't been injured so badly, but as it was the knife hit her in the back and she fell forward to the floor, landing on her bad arm and screaming in pain. 

Lexa roared Nia's name in anger. Clarke saw Jaha fall as he tried to defend her mother and she reached for the handgun of the nearest fallen guard, pulling it and aiming, firing without thinking until the two Azgeda near her mother fell at the same time as several explosions sounded nearby. She couldn't move off her stomach with her bad arm and the knife in her back. She couldn't think about or focus on the knife without feeling woozy and so she looked to her friends and shot at the Azgeda fighting Lexa, hitting his leg and surprising him so Lexa could run him through. Then her people and the Trikru Warriors assigned to protect them were flooding through the doors, as Abby dropped to the ground beside Clarke and began examining the knifes impact - apparently she still cared somewhere inside even if she thought everything Clarke had done was wrong.

Clarke stared at her people, eyes searching until she found them and smiled - Bellamy and Lincoln leading Sky people and Trikru. They were already bloody and dishevelled but if they didn't have weapons they were using their fists, or retrieving weapons from those who had fallen. Her best friend scanned the room and his eyes immediately found hers as she rolled to her side slightly and shot the next Azgeda warrior Lexa fought, a man twice her size. Bellamy looked torn, as if he wanted to help her and help his sister. She waved the gun towards Octavia and he leapt across the room to his sister and friends, followed by Lincoln.

'Never been happier to see you big brother,' Octavia said as he took over fighting from Lexa who stared at Clarke longingly.

'Get the queen Lexa,' she urged as more Azgeda seemed to be joining the fight, perhaps let in from outside the Mountain. It was hard to work out what was going on from her position. 'Beja, Lexa.' Lexa seemed enable to move, to make a decision, 'head now, heart later,' Clarke reminded and Lexa nodded, and with a howl, ran at Nia, sword held high. Clarke stared, heart in throat as their swords clashed, her breath catching as Lexa made a hit against Nia's arm. Unfortunately this only seemed to enrage the Queen who still thought she held control of the missiles.

'What do you fight for? You have no people left, just warriors. You fight for a girl who tricks and deceives you. You are weak.'

'I'm not weak to fight for what I love,' Lexa yelled and Clarke knew Lexa could be talking about both her and her people.

'The world out there is half destroyed,' Nia cackled and Lexa gave a menacing laugh.

'Branwoda,' she scoffed, 'ai Prisa is clever and it is you she deceived. You have destroyed nothing. The missiles were already gone and she played you.'

'You lie,' Nia growled and as she fought she yelled at the incoming Azgeda, 'were there missiles? Before you entered were there missiles?'

'No Kwin,' he answered but his distraction cost him and he fell to the floor.

'Proves nothing. He may have entered before I pressed the button.'

'Clarke tricked you. She never wanted those bombs to be used and you thought she could be bought. She didn't need your protection, or a pardon bargained because I had vowed to save her and my people.'

'She didn't trust you,' Nia scorned.

'So she tested me. She gave me the device first,' Lexa pointed out. 'Then tossed it to you when I refused it.'

'Lies.'

'Not lies. Know that your army shall be defeated, that you have destroyed no one and that when you are dead I will take your head and send it to the man you lie with at night.'

'You have to kill me first,' Nia taunted.

'No problem,' Lexa looked formidable as she seemed to find reserves of energy and strength, with which to slice and slash at the queen, her sword steady and true. Clarke stared entranced. She watched as an Azgeda warrior raised a dagger to throw at Lexa and fired her gun before realizing the world was tilting.

'Clarke,' her mother's voice was calm, 'you need help now.'

'Not gonna happen,' Clarke found she couldn't get air in her lungs, or that was how it felt. 'Not leaving Lexa or my people,' she rasped.

'Lexa will kill Nia. She saw her throw the dagger at your back. Lexa will be fine and your people are winning,' Abby insisted. 'You're going to die.'

'Doors blocked,' she wheezed.

'Shit,' Abby looked to the desk. 'Bellamy,' she yelled his name and he glared at her. 'Find me a tube about the size of a pen. Clarke's going to die.'

'Great optimism,' Clarke said despite knowing her mom was right. She tried to focus on Lexa who had turned to stare at her upon hearing her mother's words. Nia used the opportunity of her distraction and sliced her side. Lexa hissed and suddenly it was over. She struck repeatedly until the sword was plunged through Nia, right through her heart. Without celebration Lexa turned and joined Bellamy at the desk, trusting her people to fight, until she was beside Clarke and her mother,

'This?' she thrust an odd looking pen at her mother who took it apart and eyed the tube.

'Yes,' she nodded. 'I need to turn her but I can't take the knife out...she'd bleed and die. Can you half rest her against your front?'

'Yes,' with infinite care Clarke felt Lexa lift her, leaning against the wall and pulling Clarke between her legs, her upper body half on her, the hilt of the knife resting along side Lexa's ribs. Clarke marvelled at how gentle Lexa's hands were, hands that had just killed several, hands stained with her own blood and the blood of others. She reached for one and threaded her bloody fingers through Lexa's.

'Your dagger,' Abby demanded and even though Clarke couldn't see she could imagine Lexa's glowering expression. 'I need to make a cut.' Clarke felt Lexa shift and her mother leaned forward and then sat back with Lexa's dagger in her hand. 'This is going to hurt Clarke. I'm sorry,' she warned before Clarke felt the sting at her side.

'No,' she mumbled, because it really didn't hurt very much, even when there was tugging and then the feeling of pressure before she suddenly found it much easier to breathe, 'hmm, air.'

'Clarke,' Lexa whispered pressing kisses to her neck.

'You should go...fight...' Clarke urged.

'The fight is nearly over. No more Azgeda come,' Lexa reassured. 'I stay with you ai Prisa,' she kissed Clarke's neck again before pressing her face against the skin there. 'Yu ain en ai yun.'

'I don't understand,' Clarke mumbled as her mother continued to do she didn't know what, as Lexa held her, kissing her neck and mumbling Tridegasleng into the skin there.

'You're mine and I'm yours,' Lexa cooed softly,

'I think I may be dying,' she admitted.

'No. Nowe,' Lexa's fingers squeezed hers, 'teina,' she mumbled, 'klir.'

'Lexa?' Clarke was confused.

'She's hurt,' her mom said softly, 'not as bad as you but she's losing blood. Commander, I'm going to press something against that wound on your side.'

'Lexa?'

'Sha, ai Prisa?'

'Let my mom help you,' Clarke squeezed her hand again.

'Sha,' Lexa pressed her lips to Clarke's neck again.

'Help her,' Clarke urged her mother and Abby pressed folded material against Lexa's side. 'She'll be ok?'

'The Commander Clarke?' Abby looked pretty angry but Clarke answered honestly,

'She makes me happy.'

'Oh it's a trusting loving match I'm sure,' Abby's sarcasm was heavy.

'You are still to die,' Lexa had somehow grabbed her dagger from the floor and pointed it at Abby. 'Your underestimate me if you think I can not kill you even now.'

'Mom,' Clarke protested, 'help the others. Help Jaja.'

'Jaha is dead,' Abby looked at the floor, 'and I have nothing to help anyone with.'

'Clarke,' Lexa sounded desperate and Clarke knew she needed to go, despite her own injury.

'Mom, sit with me, Lexa must go.'

'Lexa is injured,' her mother pointed out nastily.

'Mom,' Clarke removed some of her weight from Lexa and the other girl moved, holding Clarke still and steady, staring at Abby.

'Ok,' her mother agreed reluctantly as she looked Lexa up and down, unable to hide her distrust and disgust.

'Don't look at her like that,' Clarke growled as Abby took Lexa's position behind her.

'If you hurt her, cause her any unnecessary pain, if she dies I will kill everyone of your people back at the Ark while you watch and then I will kill you,' Lexa thundered and while Clarke loved her intent it was a little harsh.

'She's my daughter,' Abby protested, as Lexa whirled around her dagger flying into the heart of an oncoming Azgeda brute. Lexa punched him twice before kicking him, her boot hitting the dagger causing him to fall to the floor. She pulled the dagger from his heart,

'I don't trust you,' she said simply. Clarke stared at her, then around the room. The room was emptier than it had been. Octavia had a sword in her good hand and was fighting with Lincoln. Raven had a knife but wasn't fighting. They were winning but the Azgeda weren't surrendering.

'Lex,' she felt heavier than she had. It was different to the blood loss with her shoulder, more solid and permanent. She could almost feel her heart struggle to beat.

'Yes?'

'You need to go out. See how the people outside are doing. Tell them their queen is a traitor but she is dead. Give them a chance to surrender.'

'Every Azgeda warrior should die,' Lexa growled harshly, 'for their betrayal.'

'For the coalition. Offer the chance to surrender. Tell them to go home. Who is in charge now Nia is gone?'

'Her husband until a new leader is chosen.'

'What kind of man is he?' Clarke coughed slightly and felt warm liquid in her mouth. She knew from the expression on Lexa's face it was blood.

'He is weak, but not cruel. He has no head for leadership and none for domination. He will retreat.'

'Then tell them. They work on her command. Now they should work on yours. Make them see reason. Save your people Lexa.'

Lexa nodded but didn't leave, merely knelt between her legs.

'You need help,' she said softly hand cupping Clarke's jaw, her thumb brushing across her chin, smearing blood.

'I do,' Clarke agreed or thought she did.

'Bellamy, Arlo, Ryder, Peyo,' Lexa yelled and the men appeared around her. 'Arlo you carry the Skaiprisa,' she ordered the biggest man, 'across your shoulder so the dagger doesn't dig in further, be careful of her arm,' Lexa watched as Clarke was lifted onto Arlo's shoulder, arm wedged across her buttocks to hold her still. It hurt and she felt more warm, coppery blood in her mouth. 'Bellamy you guard her mother,' Lexa ordered, her eyes panicked. 'Lead them to where Abby can save her. Now.'

'Sha Heda.'

'I am going outside,' Lexa announced, 'Peyo, you stay with Luna and Mantu, and Ryder, you spread the message throughout the mountain that the queen is dead and their Commander tells them to cease their fight or face death.'

'Sha, Heda,' Ryder nodded.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Clarke didn't see the rest of the battle. She lay on a bed in medical unconscious, Bellamy and Arlo outside guarding the entrance as her mother tried to save her. Lexa stood tall and strong outside the mountain and delivered a speech powerful enough to cause the Azgeda to stand down and retreat. Not that they had been winning the battle. However, most of the Warriors dropped their weapons and retreated accompanied by Lexa's gonakru. Indra, she stood by the Commanders side as they watched the weapons fall at the news of the Queens death. Lexa and Indra had each then ridden a horse through the armies, travelling as far as Camp Jaha and TonDC to ensure the people knew the queen was dead, the missiles destroyed and the war was won. They tended to the wounded, mercifully end the lives of any suffering too much. Her army was well trained and they fought remaining resistant Azgeda, fought them back towards the North, as they accompanied those that surrendered. Others retrieved the dead as many a pyre was built. Still more maintained the circle around Camp Jaha. Those with survivable injuries were taken wherever was nearest for treatment from the various medics. The ward filled up around Clarke but she slept on. Even after her mother had done what she could, Clarke slept on.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Hours turned to days and Clarke slept on. The ward filled and emptied a little but Clarke's eyes were shut and her breathing shallow despite Abby's assurances that she should be ok. Her friends stayed with her throughout the days, waiting.

'Anyone seen Lexa anywhere near this ward since the battle?' Octavia asked and Bellamy shook his head.

'I heard she went north to deal with the Azgeda before she deals with the Ark.'

'At least those who support Clarke are out of the camp,' Raven murmured. 'And Wick...'

'Wick is a hero,' Monty interrupted.

'He is?' Raven smiled,

'He didn't cave and he didn't get killed. He led them to believe it was possible and that takes guts.'

'You were right to trust him,' Octavia said to Raven but the other girl shrugged.

'I guess this is how Clarke felt. The truth is in front of her but she doesn't know whether to trust the truth.'

'He didn't do the acid fog. It's not that tough to enable it - Jaha worked it out,' Bellamy said.

'Does Lexa even know how she is?' Raven asked with a frown as she changed the subject. 'I just thought she'd be here.'

'Heda sends for news twice a day,' Lincoln murmured softly. 'Morning and night.'

'So she hasn't totally abandoned her,' Bellamy stared at Clarke's pale frame. Abby had told them all that had gone wrong, the multitude of injuries the dagger thrown by Nia had inflicted. They'd given her blood, they'd fixed her injuries but she didn't seem to get better. Bellamy had suggested poison but Lincoln didn't recognize the poison if there was one. She just didn't wake up and there was a slow decline in her vitals.

'She knows exactly how Clarke is,' Lincoln reaffirmed.

'But why isn't she here?' Bellamy asked, defensive of Clarke as always.

'She's trying to avoid another war,' Lincoln stated.

'She needs to deal with the Ark,' Octavia glared at the bed, eyes willing Clarke's to open.

'They have food and water,' Raven said, 'more than we had with Abby. And the decent people who supported us are finding a place in the villages with the rest of the Sky People. Indra is making sure of that.'

'I feel...sad that Jasper is in there,' Bellamy admitted.

'Jasper allowed his anger at Clarke and you to cloud his judgement. He supported Abby. If Clarke can turn against her mom, if I can...well he could have sided with what was right.'

'What about Kane?' Bellamy asked. 'Clarke thought there was something there...'

'I think we'll wait for Clarke to speak to Murphy and Kane, and people before we decide how to judge them. I'm pretty sure she'll assist on trials,' Raven shrugged.

'The Commander will want to kill them. Jus drein jus daun,' Lincoln prophesied.

'Well that won't swing it with Clarke,' Raven arched her brows.

'I can't decide who's the more powerful in their relationship,' Octavia mused.

'They're earths power couple for sure,' Raven smirked.

'Their relationship is none of our business,' Bellamy reminded them.

'Well now that's not true,' Octavia stared at her brother and everyone looked to her.

'She's right,' Miller shrugged.

'How so?' Bellamy asked.

'Well we followed her. You as well bro, but really Clarke was the one and when Lexa betrayed us and hurt Clarke like she did, it became our decision as much as hers whether or not to trust her again.'

'She didn't ask anyone the first time whether or not to trust Lexa,' Bellamy pointed out.

'That was different. We weren't with her then and her mom only half supported the idea. It was the only way you and her stood a chance of getting everyone out of the Mountain. This wasn't the same. This was turning our backs on our people and we did it, for her, because what she said made more sense. We went to Lexa knowing that the only person she would listen to would be Clarke, but it was our decision this time, not just hers. When you were in this mountain, unaware of what was happening to us, we talked endlessly about how we could check out motives. She came up with the plan to deceive Lexa. She said we could trust blindly. We could trust just because she did, because Lexa said she loved her and she believed her. We all said that Lexa's story made sense, but Clarke - she said that she was betrayed once and she felt like a fool, like a monster because she had to become death for our survival. She said a second betrayal without a back up plan was inexcusable and she said that we couldn't be taken advantage of again. She said we had to plan for ourselves and stop relying on others to save us when all they did was use us. Her relationship with Lexa effected her but she invited us into the political relationship, so debating who has power in their relationship is entirely appropriate.'

'Ok so who?' Bellamy leant back in his chair, his eyes flicking to the fair haired girl, checking her chest rose and fell before turning his eyes back to his sister.

'Clarke,' Raven answered for her.

'I agree,' Octavia nodded.

'Nah,' Miller shook his head. 'The Commander will do anything for her people. If they called for Clarke's death she'd give it to them.'

'That's what she wants you to think,' Raven argued, 'but the way she looks at her, the way everything this time has been to bring Clarke closer, she wants Clarke...more than anything if you ask me.'

'I agree,' Octavia said, 'in fact I said that to you.'

'And I agreed,' Raven stuck her tongue out at Octavia.

'She did lose it during our planning meetings. That dagger she threw at Clarke for whispering with me...that was because she thought we were romantic,' Bellamy shrugged with a small laugh.

'Lexa put head over heart the first time and this time she was drowning in her desire,' Octavia said dramatically and Lincoln drew her close,

'Heda wouldn't like to hear you talk that way. They balance the power of each other if you ask me.'

'Hmm,' Miller nodded, 'I can see that. The Commander has more head and Clarke more heart and they each bring the other out in each other. Maybe they should just lead us all together.'

'That is the rumour, that my people want that,' Lincoln said and Octavia turned to him incredulous,

'And you didn't tell me?'

'You didn't listen when people spoke about them?' he smiled.

'I'm ok at Tridegasleng but not that ok,' she chided.

'There is some fear about Clarke though. Some people, they fear she is more powerful than Heda, and yet Heda favours her. People feel Heda may be ruled by her and some call for her death...'

'Wait a sec, Clarke's death or Lexa's?'

'Clarke's. Heda was chosen by the spirits and people have been speaking...saying Clarke was chosen by the Gods. People haven't turned to Gods in many years, not since before the war that ended things, but she fell from the Sky.'

'We all fell from the sky,' Raven pointed out but Lincoln shook his head,

'She killed three hundred in a ring of fire. She destroyed the mountain which has killed our people for years. Those that were there at the mountain this time, they say she destroyed the Azgeda. People fear her power is too strong, others celebrate that it's strong and say Heda balances her. They argue that without Heda Clarke would be too rash, too much heart, that she wouldn't think enough and would be too dangerous. They also argue that Heda thinks too much. Maybe Heda calls attention to her and her power to protect Clarke. Maybe she spreads that they are one,' Lincoln fell to silence and everyone seemed to be thinking, eyes turning back to Clarke who seemed even more fragile than she had, her breath shallower, her skin paler. 'Maybe the words people share are for nothing,' Lincoln said into the quiet, 'she is nearly gone.'

'Don't say that,' Octavia turned to him, eyes wide.

'At one point or another most of us have thought she deserved death,' Lincoln said honestly as he shrugged. 'Now it seeks to claim her.'

'Thoughts change,' Bellamy said simply and there were a few nods. 'Though maybe thoughts aren't powerful enough to make her live.'


	13. 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke wakes up and is reunited with Lexa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, THANK YOU to everyone who reviews. I just wouldn't be writing this without the support! This chapter deals with the fall out...it has no action but Clarke and Lexa reunite. 
> 
> As always I LOVE to know what you think.

**Chapter Thirteen**

'Clarke,' the voice was deep, insistent. 'Clarke.' Clarke ignored the voice and let her mind slip back into nothingness. 'Clarke,' the voice accompanied by a gentle shaking this time that prevented her from ignoring it.

'No,' she didn't know whether she said the word or merely thought it strongly, but whichever the sentiment brought on the opposite effect, the shaking increasing and the voice became louder and closer,

'Clarke. Wake up Clarke. Come on princess, wake up.'

'No Bell,' she at least knew who the voice belonged to now and wondered why she hadn't recognized her best friends voice before.

'Clarke, seriously, wake the fuck up,' a girl's voice this time, again one she should know.

'No,' she muttered.

'Look you've been sleeping for nearly a month, no way you're tired,' the girls voice chastised but she was tired, exhausted really. The voice was wrong.

'Why isn't she waking up?' Bellamy asked whoever was with him.

'Abby said it might take time,' a different girls voice. 'Look, she's better than she was. Her hearts stronger, her colour is better and you know that's all good considering how close it got.'

'I guess Lexa saved her life,' the first girls voice again.

'Lexa,' Clarke wanted to know about Lexa. Or she felt like she was pushing through sand, this desire half rooted in her subconscious and half in the small part of her brain functioning conscious thought.

'Clarke?' Bellamy's voice.

'Lexa saved you Clarke,' the girls voice, with a hint of amusement. 'What? She actually seemed to wake up a bit at Lexa's name.'

'We need Lexa,' the other girls voice.

'Lexa,' Clarke tried again.

'Clarke, open your eyes,' Bellamy's voice, forceful and strong. That small conscious part of her brain tried, but her eyes hurt when she tried to open them. In fact everything hurt.

'Ow,' she tried and then after a moment of muffled talk she felt cool liquid being wiped on her eyes.

'Try now,' the first girls voice.

'Come on Clarke. Stop being a wimp,' the second girls voice. Raven's. She tried again and it was painful but not as painful as the light shining into them.

'Ow,' she moaned again and a second later the light was off.

'Clarke,' Octavia was smiling down at her. 'Nice to see those blue eyes of yours.'

'Lexa,' she squinted.

'Not here princess. In Polis.'

'Oh,' she shut her eyes because really she wanted Lexa, needed her.

'Clarke, open your damn eyes,' Raven.

'She's coming back tomorrow,' Octavia reassured.

'Don't tell her that or she won't wake up until tomorrow,' Raven complained.

'Clarke...you've been lying in that bed for nearly a month...you stink. Get up now and you can have a bath. Not stink for your girlfriend,' Octavia offered.

'Fuck off,' she managed because really, she was clearly half dead and what should she care about cleanliness, she opened her eyes a crack to glare at them.

'Princess, wake the fuck up,' Bellamy groused.

'Why?' she wasn't managing to hold the conversation in her head and it was frustrating as hell.

'Well you need food. You're so skinny,' Raven told her.

'And like I said you could do with a wash,' Octavia put a hand on her shoulder.

'Not to mention we need you. You're kinda the boss you know,' Bellamy admitted, 'we can't do anything without you. Seriously the Ark is sat there waiting...our people want guidance. We all just hang out here and let Indra take care of everyone which is shit, but come on.'

'Indra?' Clarke couldn't help but ask.

'Yup. Thinks Sky people are alright. Not Ark people, but she's helping everyone settle in TonDC. Building houses and all that. Practically planning your wedding to Lexa.'

'What?' Clarke frowned, confused. 'Lexa's angry with me.'

'She's not, she saved you,' Raven defended.

'But left before I woke. She's angry,' her voice was so broken and it hurt to talk.

'Whatever, she won't be for long,' Octavia dismissed and Clarke caught the pointed glare Bellamy shot at his sister and Raven. Her head was apparently feeling a little clearer. Everyone fell silent at that.

'Help me sit,' Clarke croaked. Bellamy and Raven gently took hold of her and scooted her up the bed. Her head swam but she nodded her thanks, looking around the Mountain Weather medical ward. 'I don't want to be here.'

'There were so many wounded, they treated them wherever was nearest,' Bellamy explained. 'And you would have died if we moved you.'

'I'm alive now. I want to leave,' she huffed.

'Up for less than five minutes after a month in a coma and already bossing the crap out of us,' Octavia chided, with a gentle smile.

'Ok, let's start with you drinking a glass of water without hurling, then eating actual food without hurling, a little work on those muscles which we have been working in endlessly, a bath - because they have baths and soap here, and then we'll get you out of here,' Bellamy offered and she held out a shaky hand, which he took with a smile,

'Sweet Bell, but I was after the water.'

'Sure,' he laughed at his mistake and let go of her hand, reaching for a jug and filling a cup. 'Here. Take it slow.' Clarke heeded his advice and took a couple of small sip, when he held the glass to her lips.

'Where's my mom?'

'Sleeping,' Raven answered. 'Lexa basically put her in prison here, you know to take care of you.'

'She ok?'

'I don't know. She's mostly silent,' Raven admitted.

'You all ok?'

'Few cuts and bruises. They're mostly gone,' Bellamy shrugged.

'Your arm?' Clarke looked to Octavia.

'Better than yours.'

'Hmm,' she wiggled her fingers, then tried to make a fist, disappointed when she couldn't.

'The knife to your back messed it up even more,' Octavia explained.

'How'd Lexa save me?' Clarke looked to Bell and he held the glass to her lips again. 

'The knife was poisoned. It was a pretty deadly throw from Nia. I mean the thing punctured your lung, and Abby fixed a whole bunch of stuff, but the poison was killing you slowly. You hung on way longer than anyone thought you would. It was nothing like the Trikru used so Lexa - she went North. The Grounders said she went to sort out their leadership, to quell unrest but we think she went to save you. She arrived with the antidote three days ago. Just in time really.'

'How is she?' Clarke asked staring at her ridiculously skinny wrist against the blue blanket. Her arm looked thin and frail. She hated it.

'Uh,' Octavia began and then stopped.

'Bell?' she looked at him expectantly.

'I don't know. She left once you were stable but was sent reports twice a day. The first we saw of her was three days ago. She stormed in, fully dressed for battle and I mean armour, cape, sash, war paint - fucking fierce. Demands the room be cleared. She spent an hour in here with you and then left, said you'd been given the antidote. She's still getting her reports but it's hard to say how she is,' he shrugged and Clarke swallowed back tears. She didn't even know what the tears were for, why her eyes burned and it felt difficult to swallow. Octavia took her hand and they all allowed the silence to last. Clarke was suddenly surprised by the need to breathe, drawing a rasping breath into her lungs, shocked that she hadn't been breathing for the last few moments. The breath somehow forced tears from her eyes and they rolled down her cheeks.

'Clarke,' Raven whispered her name but she covered her face with her hand.

'I'm ok,' she shut her eyes.

'You're not ok,' Bellamy said and she glared at him even as more tears slid silently over her cheeks,

'I am.'

'You don't have to be strong all the time,' Raven reminded her but she hated them for not getting it.

'I do. If I'm not strong, if I let it all in I may never get up. Do you even know how many people I've killed?'

'No,' she admitted, 'but I know how many you've saved.'

'I want to leave here,' she whispered. 'Give me the water, get me food, turn on the shower. I want to go.'

'Ok Clarke,' Bellamy nodded and Octavia handed her back her cup.

XOXOXOXO

'How are you feeling?' Raven asked as Clarke sat on a chair in the bath room and Raven helped her remove her clothes.

'Like I wish everyone would stop asking me that,' Clarke sighed as Raven eased off the clothes she'd been dressed in after her mother had operated on her - some loose vest.

'Probably should go in the bin,' Raven admitted but Clarke shook her head.

'No, I want it,' she touched the dirty material, unsure why she wanted it, aware that she was being irrational.

'Ok,' Raven waited uncertainly. 'Not dizzy?'

'No,' she insisted, allowing Raven to help her stand as she pushed down the soft pants that were so loose on her she'd been holding them up. 'I look awful,' she whispered staring at her wasted frame.

'You're alive,' Raven shrugged. 'You just need to eat, drink and stay healthy.'

'I know,' she took a step towards the bath leaning on Raven who helped her into the tub, 'I'll be ok from here.'

'You can bath alone, whatever, I don't care but I'm not leaving this room.'

'Ok,' Clarke got that and on some level appreciated it. She went sunk into the water and pushed off her underwear, dropping it beside the bath. She slipped the sling over her head, but kept her arm against her chest. She forgot about Raven as she allowed the warm water to swallow her. A shower was fixed over the bath and she turned it on, allowing more water to cascade over her body, to soak her hair and rinse the grime from her body. The water turned a brown colour from the blood and dirt and she suddenly wanted all of it off of her. She pulled the plug but remained sitting. Despite wanting to be clear there was a strange reluctance to scrub herself. She had bathed since she and Lexa had sex. Lexa had arranged a bath for her before she saw her mother, before Nyko came to check her injury, but Lexa had loved her once more after, and she'd carried the traces of the other girl on her skin throughout battle, through a dagger in her back, and in her long, long sleep. It was a strange impulse but she hated the idea of washing Lexa from her skin. Hoping that her skin would one day again be touched by the Commander she took soap and poured some directly onto her hair, using her good arm to rub it as thoroughly as she could. Then she did it a second and a third time. She took the bar of soap and soaped her hand before cleaning her face, her ears, her neck, then picking up the scrubber Raven had put in there, rubbed it with soap and then re-cleaned every part of herself several times. She scrubbed until the dirt and blood was gone. She scrubbed until the layer of dead skin cells was gone. She scrubbed until her skin was pink, then rinsed before turning the water off.

'Towel,' Raven wrapped it around her and then helped her from the bath and back to a chair. She perched on the chair, her naked body dripping onto the floor, the towel around her shoulders. 'She's not angry Clarke. Lexa. You said she was angry and she's not.'

'You don't know that.'

'She kissed you and defended you after she realized you'd tricked her. I think she's probably hurt rather than angry.'

'Hurt's worse than angry,' Clarke took the second towel Raven handed her and patted her skin dry. 'And I made her kiss me. So she knew it was all ok, because I wanted her to get it - you know that we were on the same side.'

'You can't make someone kiss you.'

'She said the argument wasn't over.'

'Right - the argument wasn't over, she didn't say you and she were over.'

'Ok,' Clarke didn't want to talk about it anymore.

'Indra brought you clothes. A couple of days ago. If her general is bringing you clothes...you know it's because she was told to,' Raven gestured the pile of dark clothing.

'Ok,' Clarke repeated.

'I'll wait outside if you want? You can shout if you need anything.'

'Fuck,' Clarke cursed softly and rubbed her eyes.

'What?' Raven's brow furrowed.

'I can't go without a bra,' she admitted, 'and I can't put one on with my arm. I can't do anything. It feels intimate but I don't know...what do I do?'

'I don't mind helping Clarke. I have breasts.'

'I just...'

'What?'

'Lexa did it for me last time. It wasn't innocent. I know it'd be different with you, that's not what I'm saying. I just...miss her.'

'I get it,' Raven handed her underwear. 'Put those on and I'll help. It'll be half a second of nudity and then nothing. Come on.'

'Thank you,' Clarke tried to smile as she tried to pull on clean underwear. It took longer than she liked and in the end Raven helped her pull them up. 'To do it start under my bad arm at the front.'

'Ok,' Raven carefully wrapped the material over Clarke's breasts, careful not to touch her skin more than necessary.

'How are Monty and Miller?'

'Very grounder,' Raven smirked. 'They love them both.'

'Doesn't everyone?' Clarke asked rhetorically. 'They in TonDC?'

'Yeah. Miller and Indra are surprisingly close.'

'And Monty is happy?'

'He's pretty devastated about Jasper.'

'What about Jasper?' Clarke frowned.

'Nothing, don't worry. Just that he's stuck in the Ark.'

'What's happening with the Ark?'

'Nothing. Lexa...I guess she's been waiting for you to wake up - you know, to make calls about what happens to people. All of them have been waiting for you to wake up.'

'I would have thought the Grounders would be calling for blood?' Clarke asked and Raven shrugged,

'I think some are surprised they haven't had blood but you know...they know what you did and that they were your people. Besides, Lexa's in charge and I don't think she wants to kill everyone without your input.'

'Sweet I guess,' Clarke murmured.

'Whatever floats your boat,' Raven gave a small smile. 'Do you know what you want to do with the Ark?'

'I don't think we can deny the Grounders their blood for what the Ark planned. At least not for the leaders.'

'That's your mom you're talking about,' Raven pursed her lips.

'Hmmm,' Clarke responded dismissively, unwilling to discuss that topic any further. 'Tell me about the Grounders? How are things with them? They haven't turned on Lexa like Nia wanted?'

'Uhh,' Raven wouldn't meet her eye.

'What?'

'Let's get you out of this mountain and then we'll talk about the Grounders.'

'I don't like the sound of that,' Clarke stared at Raven, trying to stare her out but Raven steeled her expression and picked up a brush.

'Your hair looks like a rat made a nest and had babies in it. Sit and let me brush it.'

'Ok,' Clarke sat. 'Will you tell me, please?'

'Look, I know patience isn't your strong suit, but take a breath Clarke. You nearly died. You woke up after nearly a month comatose. You've still got a broken arm, you're so thin you've practically disappeared and I'm just not...not the person to talk to you about this. Not alone anyway.'

'Who is?'

'Lexa,' Raven answered. 'But I don't know...'

'You don't know what? Stop being so cryptic.'

'Look, Lexa...I don't know where she's at with you because I haven't seen her. I don't think she's angry because she saved you and you know when she did she was doing her stoic commander thing...'

'I don't think it's a thing...it's who she is. I mean, it's not all she is. She's so much more.'

'Obviously,' Raven laughed.

'Why, obviously?'

'Well you're totally into her and it's not just the power and the commander thing. I mean you command a fair bit of power yourself, and it's not like you bow down to hers. I figure she shows you a side of herself that the rest of us don't see.'

'If you look in her eyes you can see it,' Clarke gave a small sigh as she thought about all Lexa's eyes expressed.

'Hmm,' Raven seemed to be thinking.

'She cares...about her people obviously, I mean she'd sacrifice just about anything for them.'

'Not you.'

'No. She did...at the mountain though. And she didn't want to. I knew that but I was really angry with her because I wanted to be most important even though I would have thought less of her if I was,' Clarke sighed again. 'Only this time...this time there was no need, but that's the thing. She can try and make it so she doesn't have to make the choice but if she's forced, it'll always be them.'

'You seem to forget that we are her people now. The Sky People anyway.'

'I don't mind,' Clarke clarified. 'I know how she feels. I love her. I can't even help it, or fight it, or escape it. It's part of who I am and yet...I risked it all for my people.'

'Are you ok?' Raven stopped brushing and crouched down in front of her. 'Just you're sharing a lot and I don't mind. I think it's good but, you don't normally...'

'Share?'

'Yeah.'

'I'm ok. I guess. It feels like I have weeks worth of thoughts and feelings in my head,' she admitted.

'It's ok, you're going to have time to work through everything. I promise. The world is stable, for now at least.'

XOXOXOXO

'You ok up there?' Bellamy eyed Clarke uncertainly. Where once she'd seemed formidable on top of the beast she now looked small and fragile.

'I just want to be far away from here,' she admitted.

'You ok with Raven riding behind you to make sure you stay upright?' Bellamy asked and Octavia whacked him,

'She's got no choice, don't make it sound like she does.'

'Hey, who's in charge?' Clarke asked with an icy glare, then smiled, 'kidding. I think having someone prop me up is a wise move.'

'Wouldn't want you dying from falling off a horse after all the work Lexa went through to save you,' Raven allowed Bellamy to help her onto the horse.

'Hmm,' Clarke didn't want to talk about Lexa. The thought of Lexa twisted her insides up into mush, until she felt like she was bleeding. She needed to see the Commander. Needed to face her after her betrayal.

'Let's go,' Bellamy nodded towards the trees and he and Octavia climbed onto another horse, the four of them setting off through the forest.

XOXOXOXO

'Skaiprisa,' Indra actually greeted her with a bow as Bellamy helped lift her from her horse. Before she knew it several of the Trikru around Indra also lowered their heads. 'The Commanders tent is at the usual location.'

'Is Lexa here?' Clarke could hear the optimism in her tone.

'The tent is for you Skaiprisa. Heda returns tomorrow.'

Clarke narrowed her eyes.

'You want me to stay in her tent without her?'

'Sha Skaiprisa,' Indra nodded without rising to the challenge of the question and scooped her up and carried her through the village. As Indra walked through Clarke watched the Trikru bow their heads, but lacked the energy and inclination to work out why and what it meant. Some had greeted her that was after the mountain the first time, but this felt different.

'Why are they doing that?' she asked instead of contemplating it herself. Indra looked at her sharply,

'You have saved them. They show their respect.'

'We all saved them,' Clarke murmured but Indra shook her head with a snarl,

'You saved them. It is right that they show respect,' Indra spoke passionately and then, under her breath, said a word Clarke didn't understand.

'Ogeda uf? What does that mean?'

'All powerful,' Indra pushed the tent flap aside and deposited Clarke on Lexa's bed. 

'What do you mean by that?' Clarke asked.

'Rest Skaiprisa - and eat. You are too small.'

XOXOXOXO

Clarke had only meant to rest her eyes before seeking out her friends. She had wanted to see Monty and Miller, Lincoln, Peyo and Arlo but sinking into Lexa's bed she realized how tired she was. It may have been Lexa's bed but it didn't smell like her, or feel like hers, not without Lexa in it. Still it was the Commanders bed and it was warm, soft and it welcomed her body, cocooning her in comfort. Her eyes closed and didn't open again until the light of dawn filtered through the canvas of the tent.

'Clarke,' someone was gently shaking her shoulder.

'Lexa,' the name came out, the first person filling her head as she was ripped from unconsciousness. She opened her eyes to find Lexa crouched beside the bed, her dark hair falling in waves down her back, her face clear and those eyes of hers full of emotion as she stared at her. 'Lexa,' she repeated and pushed her left hand from under the warm furs to grab her hand. 'Lexa,' she was incapable of saying more than her name it seemed, though her name was a plea as she tugged and tried to pull her closer. The Commander resisted easily.

'Clarke, how are you feeling?' Lexa shifted her arm from Clarke's grasp.

'Like I've been asleep for a month.'

'You need to eat,' Lexa's eyes ran over her body before returning to her face,

'Lexa, come closer. Please.'

'Clarke...I can't just pretend I'm not angry,' Lexa sighed, her face unreadable.

'Beja,' she begged.

'Clarke, you tricked me. Tested me in front of my own people. Made me seem like a fool,' Lexa's voice was dark. 'You didn't trust me. You made me think you forgave me,' Lexa was speaking louder, nearly yelling as she stood and strode beside the bed, 'I told you I loved you, I told you I was being honest, I offered you everything. I gave you everything,' her voice cracked and she was definitely yelling now.

'Did you save me just to yell at me?' Clarke asked.

'I'm not yelling,' Lexa yelled, 'but you made me feel like we were a team, that were fighting the war together. That you and I were...'

'You did save me just to yell at me,' Clarke flopped back onto the bed, too tired, too emotionally vulnerable for the argument she knew they must have, especially the shouting. Clarke wanted to talk.

'Don't belittle my anger,' Lexa growled stopping her pacing and standing next to the bed. Clarke leaned across and took her arm again.

'I'm not,' she ran her hand down Lexa's arm, over the smooth warm skin and took her hand, loving the feel of her palm against hers. 'You have every right to be angry. You can be furious and mad at me. I don't mind. I deserve it. I lied to you. I didn't share the truth with you when I knew it. I willfully led you to believe that I had forgiven you and trusted you when I had only forgiven. I couldn't take the risk Lexa, not again. I didn't trust you and I won't apologize for that. You left me at the mountain, betrayed me and then you...you hurt me...betrayed me again...'

'Clarke,' Lexa moved onto the bed, sitting on the edge, 'I hate that I hurt you. You know that I was furious with myself that you got hurt. I knew I caused you pain but it was never my intention that you get hurt...and it wasn't a true betrayal...'

'Lexa I'm not talking about my arm. You hurt me,' Clarke dragged Lexa's hand to her heart and held it there, the Commander leaning on her other hand to balance on the bed. Lexa's hand spread out against the tank top Clarke was wearing, the warmth of her palm seeping through the material. 'I know you explained things, and I got it. And I believed you, but I'd believed you twice before and had it all taken away, been shown how foolish I was to trust. I couldn't do that again. I believed you but I had to be sure, for myself and my people.'

'I thought she killed thousands of my people. I thought you'd allowed it,' Lexa looked away from her, 'I thought that the girl I love...I thought she was willing to kill my people. I thought I'd allowed it to happen. I trusted you and I thought I was responsible because part of why I trusted you so much was because I love you.'

'Lexa, you were right to trust me. I would never ever have let something like that happen, not willfully.'

'You can't say that,' Lexa shook her head, 'you did let it happen. At the mountain.'

'That was different and you know it. Those people were guilty. Even the innocents wouldn't have survived without becoming guilty. Your people are different. They deserve protection. And you know I'd have saved the mountain children if I could. Don't you guilt me about the mountain,' Clarke pushed her hand away.

'I am the last person who thinks you should feel guilty about the mountain. I am just saying that I let my love for you cloud my judgement. You have sacrificed hundreds for your people before and I was stupid to think you wouldn't again. I am the Commander. It is my responsibility to not allow my weakness for you to expose my people and you showed not only me but all others that I had failed in that responsibility.'

'Lexa, that wasn't my aim,' Clarke felt horrible guilt claw at her, especially at the pain in Lexa's eyes. 'I think the clans don't appreciate how amazing you are as Commander, how much you do put them before all else.'

'Not before you.'

'You'd have sacrificed me, I know you Lexa and you would have, just like at the mountain.'

'I don't know,' Lexa turned her back to Clarke, seeming to deflate. 'I like to think that my people come first, but you are my people now, and you...you're at the top of my list.'

'Your list?'

'Of people not to get hurt. Of people to trust. Of people I love.'

'You can trust me Lexa,' Clarke urged, desperate to be worthy of everything Lexa was saying, desperate not to have Lexa rip it away. Happiness had been this unattainable thing for so long. They all spoke of it, dreamt of it and yet it seemed mythical, always out of reach.

'I can trust who you are,' Lexa began, her voice shaky, 'I think. But it's hard for me. You know that I have tried not to feel these things. I didn't want love, not again. It opened me up to weakness and you proved that true. I was weak and my people could have suffered.'

'But they didn't because your trust was founded. So I tested you out. You passed the test and I passed the test and fuck, yeah it would be nice if there was no need for tests but this is the world we live in. Trust, love, honour - they're not given. They're not assumed. They're earned. The hard way.'

'It is hard,' Lexa agreed and turned to face her once more.

'I'm sorry I tested you.'

'I'm sorry I gave you reason to,' Lexa retook her hand.

'I didn't even have to ask for that apology - we make progress,' she teased softly.

'Yes, we make progress,' Lexa whispered and then crawled over Clarke's body to lay on the bed beside her, head resting on the pillow so she was gazing at Clarke's profile, body pressed close as her left hand held Clarke's. Clarke felt a wave of relief wash through her. Her need for Lexa had been overwhelming and real. Incredibly real. It was a weird feeling that overtook her, something like nostalgia and hope, the feeling of something incredible combined with the fear of losing it. She didn't know whether she wanted to laugh or cry.

'Beja,' she whispered the plea and turned towards Lexa, tears falling as Lexa wrapped her arms around her, pulling her close, allowing her head to rest against her breast. At one time she would have worried her tears made her seem weak and she would have hated to appear weak before the Commander, but now she didn't worry. Her tears were pain, and love and the need to be open and honest, to lay her soul bare for this girl.

'It will be ok,' Lexa whispered, pressing a soft kiss against her hair.

'Lexa,' Clarke pushed away slightly and stared into her glassy eyes. 'I'm not crying for me.'

'Who are you crying for?' Lexa frowned.

'Us, everyone, eveything, I don't even know,' she admitted and tugged Lexa closer until their lips pressed together in a messy kiss, mouths warm, intimate and not careful, a kiss that was slow and full of yearning, one that made an apology and a promise. She poured her heart into the kiss and Lexa did the same, hands cupping her face, holding her close, desire and need held at bay. Until they weren't contained anymore and the kiss began to grow, became more fevered and possessive. Clarke yearned to give into it, to abandon the rational for this feeling between them, but she couldn't. This moment was too fragile, so she slowed the kiss,

'Ai Heda,' she whispered softly and Lexa smiled,

'Ai Prisa,' she seemed to understand.

'I expected you to hate me,' Clarke admitted, 'or to be angry, for longer, maybe forever.'

'You speak with reason, and I have done to you what you did to me. And it wasn't anger. I was hurt, but I hurt you too. We are even. And you are right about this world. I may wish it were different but it isn't. I hope it can be different for you and I now, that we can be different because of everything. Stronger. That whatever we are faced with we can face together,' Lexa spoke passionately, her words deep with meaning.

'I hope so too.'

'I do trust you Clarke, with everything, and you have honour. Ai hod yu in. It's true,' Lexa raised her head and looked at her earnestly.

'I trust you too Lexa. That's all behind us. I promise. I love you too.'

'Good,' Lexa smiled and snuggled closer, 'How is your arm? Your back? Everything?' she moved Clarke onto her back and rested her head against Clarke's breast, the Skaiprisa's arm wrapped tightly around her as her arms wrapped around Clarke's waist.

'I feel ok. I ache all over and I'm weak. I know it would be worse if my friends hadn't had a rota to work on my muscles. I hate how skinny I am. How are you?'

'Me. I am fine.'

'The Queen cut you,' Clarke pressed a kiss against her smooth forehead as she looked at her,

'It was sewn shut by your mother.'

'Ah,' Clarke smiled, 'I bet that was...awkward.'

'She does not like me very much.'

'No,' Clarke agreed fingers playing with the braid she'd found in Lexa's soft, dark hair. 'Can I ask you something?'

'Sha, anything.'

'Why did Indra say Ogeda uf? About me?'

'It's Ogedauf. It is what the people call you.'

'You mean I've finally gotten rid of the princess?' Clarke joked lightly but when Lexa sat up beside her, and finally looked at her, her face was serious. 'What?'

'It means all power, it means God. They call you a god.'

'You sound like that's a bad thing?' Clarke didn't think it was a good thing but Lexa's expression was deadly serious, almost heartbroken.

'The people say you fell from the sky to save us all. You bring death to those who deserve it and save all others. They say you have power beyond that of all others. They say you have all power.'

'That's not true,' Clarke said but when Lexa bit her lip, when she refused to meet Clarke's eyes, Clarke knew the theory wasn't just held by the people. 'Lexa,' she pushed her hand under dark hair, brushed a thumb across the strong jaw, 'it's not true.'

'You hovered between life and death for nearly four weeks. That poison should have killed you in two.'

'There's a logical, scientific reason for that. The medicines my mom used or...'

'You brought real peace to the people and you didn't raise a sword.'

'I fired my gun...'

'They wish you to travel to Polis,' Lexa's eyes were fixed on the furs covering Clarke.

'They?' Clarke sputtered, 'who are they?'

'The leaders of the twelve clans, the people.'

'I'll come to Polis with you Lexa, I don't mind, but I'm not a god...'

'There is to be a fight,' Lexa bit her lip. 'The challenge has been made,' her eyes raised to Clarke's.

'What fight? What challenge?' Clarke was getting increasingly frustrated with Lexa's style of sharing the information.

'The people, the leaders, they have challenged me as Commander.'

'And who are you fighting?' Clarke asked though she felt a sickening dread in her stomach because really, she knew who.

'We are to fight Clarke. To the death.'


	14. 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa spend time in bed - talking and being intimate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so I left you all on a massive cliffhanger and I had some wonderful reviews and messages as a result. In this chapter I meant to write what happens next and instead I ended up writing 5,500 words of Clarke and Lexa in bed, chatting, working out what they're going to do and being intimate (yeah certain bits are very M). I'm pretty sure you all wanted me to continue on from the cliffhanger but this happened and I'm not sorry. Lexa finds out more about Clarke and Clarke Lexa. It's a nice little interlude to all the chaos.
> 
> So, THANK YOU for the feedback. I will get the next chapter to you soon.

**Chapter Fourteen**

_'There is to be a fight,' Lexa bit her lip. 'The challenge has been made.'_

_'What fight? What challenge?' Clarke was getting increasingly frustrated with Lexa's style of sharing the information._

_'The people, the leaders, they have challenged me as Commander.'_

_'And who are you fighting?' Clarke asked though she felt a sickening dread in her stomach because really, she knew who._

_'We are to fight Clarke. To the death.'_

'You and I?' Clarke stared at her, mind momentarily blank. Even as she heard the words her mind refused to formulate a possible future where that could ever come to pass.

'Yes,' Lexa shifted on the bed, eyes leaving Clarke's to stare at her own hand instead.

'So you saved me to what? Kill me in front of everyone?' Clarke's brow furrowed, as she tried to understand what the hell was actually happening.

'I saved you because I love you. I would never kill you. I won't fight you. I will die for you,' Lexa spoke with conviction, her voice soft and without any hesitancy.

'You won't die for me,' Clarke shook her head, 'no way are you dying. We just won't fight. Why do they even want us to fight? It makes no sense, we're not even officially part of the coalition, are we?'

'It has nothing to do with the Sky People or the coalition. The Sky People are under my protection. As per the agreement we made when you fought alongside of us against the Ark - they will become part of the coalition when we travel to Polis.'

'So why? Why do they want us to fight? Do they think I challenged you at the mountain? Do they think I have too much power and need to die? I don't get it,' she sat up and faced Lexa in the bed.

'You have two names amongst the people. One is Ogedauf - you are a god and thus the rightful commander of all.'

'They want me to beat you?' Clarke's jaw fell open. 'They actually think I could? That's ridiculous.'

'The others, they call you Ogedafotouf. It means all bad power. They don't think you are a demon...'

'Oh well _good_ ,' Clarke muttered sarcastically.

'But they think the power you have is bad, that you will bring death in the end. They wish for me to kill you.'

'So this is nothing to do with my people, or anything...it's about being Commander?'

'It's about who leads the people,' Lexa shrugged.

'I don't want to lead your people. I didn't want to lead _my_ people.'

'Many people - they want you to be Commander, they think you can bring peace to us all,' Lexa took her hand and held it between two warm palms, staring at their hands stacked together.

'Not you?' Clarke shook her head, shocked and confused.

'You were born to lead Clarke,' Lexa said, still not looking at her, her intent clear.

'So were _you_ ,' she moved onto her knees with more effort than she liked, wanting to be closer to Lexa. 'I'm not a god Lex. I'm not all powerful, or bad powerful, or any of those things. I'm not even a very good leader. Most of what I plan goes wrong. I'm just some eighteen year old kid with a stupidly strong sense of right and wrong, which means I know when I'm doing something wrong. I know when I'm doing the right thing for the wrong reasons or more importantly the wrong things for all the right reasons. But I do them anyway - maybe I am powerful and bad, but _all_ powerful? No. I know that ever since I landed on earth I've done the wrong things, so many bad things, and for so many different reasons. I know that I'm not all good, or all bad...I just _am._ I wasn't born to do this. I was born in space, no where near earth. How can anyone expect me to lead people actually from here?'

'Because you are amazing,' Lexa looked at her with wide awe filled eyes.

'You're biased and I won't fight you, and they can't make me. If they want me, then the only way they can have me is if I lead with you.'

'You'd lead with me?' Lexa tilted her head to the side as if thinking.

'As your second. Not your version of second, but you know, be there to help, advise...'

'I would like that,' Lexa said with a small smile and the mood between them altered, as she moved closer, leaning forward so her lips pressed against the slope of Clarke's neck, a small trail of kisses burning Clarke's skin from her shoulder to just below her ear. 'Clarke?'

'Yes?'

'I wish to love you,' Lexa nipped her ear lobe and Clarke's body jolted delectably.

'Mmm, you don't need to verbally request it every time Lex,' Clarke raised her hand and pushed it into Lexa's thick hair, holding her face against her neck, loving the feel of her warm breath on her skin, each fan of air arousing her further.

'You nearly died. I cannot assume...'

'Shhh,' Clarke shifted her head until their lips met, tongues tangling as she crawled slowly closer to Lexa on the bed, eventually straddling her lap, her hand seeking entrance into Lexa's jacket. She struggled with the buckles but refused to stop kissing the Commander. She'd missed kissing her, despite not remembering anything of her time asleep, it somehow felt like it had been forever, and she couldn't get enough of her warm, soft mouth, of her minty taste, of the soft hum that sometimes escaped her as she tried to pull Clarke ever closer.

'Mmm,' she moaned softly as Clarke's hand finally found entry to the jacket, as it smoothed up her waist and with desperation over the swell of her chest, squeezing and pinching. Lexa's moan was less soft, her kiss needier, as she smoothed her hands over Clarke's thighs, before moving them up and under the tank she was wearing. Strong fingers traced her ribs before cupping her breasts. Lexa's kiss grew harder as Clarke pressed closer.

'Take off your clothes,' Clarke moaned into the kiss, 'I only have one arm.'

'No,' Lexa growled and wrapped her arms around Clarke's bottom before raising herself to her knees and laying Clarke back against the bed so that she was hovering over her. Her hands took the bottom of Clarke's top and she raised it up being careful as she peeled it off over Clarke's hurt arm. Clarke watched Lexa lick her lips, a subconscious gesture as her hands moved to the bindings Raven had put on. She raised herself so Lexa could unwind them. Lexa's eyes were fixed on the skin she'd exposed, staring at the soft fullness, before she lowered her face and pressed it against Clarke's left breast, the right somewhat hidden behind her broken arm and the sling that strapped it to her chest. Clarke moaned softly as Lexa's lips brushed against her sensitive skin, as her tongue swept out across her nipple, as she the wrapped her mouth around it and sucked it into her mouth, a hum of approval vibrating the skin.

'Lexa,' Clarke found herself calling her lovers name, desperate for more and Lexa heeded the request, trailing kisses down her body, down to the edge of her pants which she first popped open and then tugged on, large eyes meeting Clarke's, seeking consent. 'Beja,' Clarke didn't think she'd ever been so turned on in her life. Lexa didn't bother removing her pants fully, just ensured they and her underwear were pushed down to her ankles before her hot mouth was on her, tongue pushing into her, licking and tasting her. Lexa groaned, her skillful tongue flicking over Clarke's clit before she sucked it into her mouth, bringing her hand between the girls legs and playing with the moisture there before pushing her fingers inside. Clarke practically grunted her approval, head thrown back, knees dropped wide as Lexa curled her beautiful long fingers and thrust them in and out of her as her mouth played with her clit, driving her to the edge but not over it. 'Fuck, Lexa,' she raised her knees, pressing her thighs against the Commanders head, 'please, please...please...' Lexa took pity on her, adding a third finger and thrusting deeper and harder, curling in that way she was so good at so each thrust of her fingers felt exquisite, as her tongue did something to her clit that felt inhuman. Clarke felt so close, her body swooping and throbbing, until she couldn't think anymore, nothing but noisy pleas escaping her lips as Lexa bit her clit and she fell, hedonistically her body surging with deliciousness. 'Fuck,' she couldn't think, her heart was beating so hard, Lexa still between her legs. 'Lex,' she grabbed a handful of dark hair and tugged but Lexa resisted, kissing her with determination, coaxing her body into an entirely unexpected second explosion. Clarke tugged harder and the other girl relented, kissing up her body until she was lying between Clarke's legs, still fully clothed.

'I really missed you,' Clarke whispered before pulling Lexa's mouth to hers. Lexa's smile made it impossible to kiss. 'What?'

'You've been asleep. I imagine you didn't dream. It must feel like yesterday since you last saw me.'

'Yes,' Clarke agreed. 'And I missed you.' Lexa flushed a beautiful pink,

'Imagine how hard it has been for me without you at all, and feeling every second of your absence.'

'It didn't keep you close,' Clarke pouted and Lexa curled up into her side, face against her left breast, hand on her right.

'I had to find a cure. I will be honest - at first I stayed away partly because of my anger,' Lexa was apparently uninhibited about being upfront, 'and hurt,' she sighed. 'I would have been there if there was a chance you would die. But your mother and Nyko assured me you were stable, that you did not decline because of your injury. I knew quickly that poison was the reason you were dying. Nia was known for her use of poison. Nyko, he assessed you daily as well as your mother so I knew how you were.'

'So what were you doing?'

'I was in the North for many reasons. I was ensuring the people still had loyalty to me. I had to find a cure for you Clarke and the only way that I would ever do that was to keep peace. Peace takes time. I killed their queen but her betrayal of the coalition and me put her people at risk. I helped the Azgeda find their new leader. Surprisingly, the Azgeda support me - they want me to remain as Commander. In our fight they want me to win. The new leader, she is balanced and fair. More like Luna than Nia.'

'Is she pretty?' Clarke asked and Lexa nipped at her breast,

'Branwoda. You are the only girl I see.'

'Hmm, good,' Clarke sighed softly. 'So the Azgeda supports you. Who's on my side?' the conversation was serious but she kept her tone light.

'Mantu. Luna even. For some of the clans it is merely that they have heard rumour of you. People argue your power is greater than mine, that you have been chosen by different more powerful spirits.'

'But you're the Commander and no one is more powerful than you,' Clarke scoffed.

'I'm just a girl,' Lexa echoed her words. 'You fell from the sky.'

'One hundred of us fell from the sky,' Clarke began, hesitating for a moment before deciding on honesty. 'Do you even know how we were selected to come to earth?'

'For your brilliance?' Lexa asked.

'Our brilliance?' Clarke was momentarily thrown.

'Raven is incredible at building things...or as you say an excellent mechanic, Monty has proven his genius, you are a healer, a leader, someone who has a great mind. Bellamy is strong and brave...I imagine the others have similar skills.'

'We weren't chosen for our brilliance Lex,' Clarke admitted and Lexa leaned on her hand so she could stare at Clarke.

'Tell me?'

'The Ark, our home, it was running out of air. They sent us to earth as a way to eliminate us.'

'Eliminate?' Lexa frowned.

'Get rid of people so the air would last longer.'

'It makes no sense to kill the young and clever.'

'We were chosen easily. We were prisoners. We'd all committed crimes. We were sentenced to death on our eighteenth birthdays. The council voted to send us down, to see how livable the earth might be. They thought it would kill us and we were going to be floated anyway.'

'Your mother sent you to earth to die?' Lexa's eyes widened.

'She was on the council that voted yes to the plan.'

'That's unbelievable,' Lexa was clearly furious. 'I wanted to spare her for you but she has to die,' Lexa said it so seriously, with so much passion. Rather than be angered at the words, Clarke found her passionate care very attractive.

'Lexa, we were criminals. Don't forget that. On the Ark every crime was a capital offence.'

'You were a criminal?' Lexa stayed leaning her chin in her palm, her other hand drawing patterns on Clarke's skin.

'Yes. Like I said, we all were.'

'And what had you done?'

'Treason,' Clarke announced and Lexa laughed. Clarke had forgotten how wonderful her laugh was, and it felt like an unexpected gift.

'You argue you're not a leader and yet you commit treason several times?'

'Well...it was more to protect themselves that I was charged. My mother...she reported my father who discovered how quickly we were going to run out of air. He was going to tell everyone the Ark was dying. My mom wanted to keep lying to the people. In a bid to protect her people, or do what she thought was protecting them, she had my dad floated and I was sent to solitary.'

'Solitary?' Lexa asked, clearly wanting an explanation of the word.

'I was alone. I spoke to no one for a year. My mom visited rarely. It was so I couldn't follow through with my dad's plan and tell people the truth. I was arrested for the knowledge I had and my intention to use it.'

'See how strong you are? You make me more certain you are Ogedauf. You constantly amaze me.'

'Don't use that name,' Clarke snapped. 'It's not true. It's not who I am. You and I can do more for the people when we work together. Don't make out that my strengths indicate your weaknesses because they don't. You are an incredible commander. They need you.'

'I'm not incredible,' Lexa looked away from her but Clarke cupped her magnificent jaw and turned her face back,

'You're strong, you're compassionate and you make people want to follow you. You bring people together. You brought my people together with yours.'

'And then abandoned you outside Mount Weather,' Lexa looked down.

'Not completely. No one was harmed, not by your people. You made sure of that and that is power Lexa. You have an agenda that is good and true and what's more - you have the ability to make it become reality. You're wrong to think I'm somehow more than you.'

'Clarke,' Lexa said her name and then pursed her lips. 'I don't think you understand how love works.'

'Inform me oh wise one,' Clarke mocked but Lexa didn't seem to pick up on it.

'To me you are perfect, even your flaws make my heart beat stronger. You make me stronger. I'm better around you. I love you and can see your decisions, all of them only for their intended outcomes. You are all powerful to me.'

'Right,' Clarke nodded, tongue trapped between her teeth as she fought the urge to say more. 'My flaws, huh?'

'You are stubborn and strong headed. You can be impulsive. And you love too much. In you though...all of these things don't seem like flaws any more. They make you who you are.'

'I have a question,' she pulled Lexa closer, pulled her until her body was slotting between her legs, her pants and underwear long since kicked away allowing her to wrap her legs around the Commanders waist.

'What is your question?' Lexa held her weight on her arms, her face above Clarke's, beautiful eyes staring down at her amidst a waterfall of brown hair.

'You said love was weakness. How come you've changed your mind?'

'Because I fell in love with you and you...you're different to everyone else.'

'Really?' Clarke widened her eyes.

'Yes. Before, love exposed me, made me vulnerable, made me weak. Others could exploit me. It took my focus. With you love still makes me vulnerable. I'm still exposed, more so than ever before and yes I can be exploited. But with you I see how love can shelter me too. My vulnerability makes me strive for strength. I am better with you because you challenge me. You expect more of me. You show me that caring makes me more determined, more careful and more brave all at the same time. With you love is strength.'

'Lexa,' Clarke's eyes drifted to her lips.

'You make my heart pound but my soul steady. I think more with you, I understand the world better so any weakness my love might expose is protected because you...you're...'

'Lexa,' Clarke said her name again.

'Clarke?' her brow pursed in concern.

'I wish to love you,' Clarke said softly, gently teasing.

'Hmm,' the soft hum and red cheeks caused Clarke's body to jolt especially as Lexa pressed against her and rocked, creating just enough friction to add to the insane throbbing that was once more pounding between her legs.

'I'm really, really weak, so as much as I would love to rip your clothes off you, you may need to do a little striptease for me,' Clarke gripped Lexa's hip with her left hand.

'A striptease?' Lexa questioned.

'Take your own clothes off. You can dance and taunt me if you want, fling your clothes at me,' she gave Lexa her best hopeful, teasing smile and was rewarded by a head tilt,

'Hmm,' she kneeled. 'I think the buckles in my coat might hurt you if I threw it at you? Same with my boots,' she shrugged.

'How have we been lying here talking for so long and you haven't got your coat and boots off? How come we've had sex and you haven't got your coat and boots off?' Clarke looked at her naked body, 'how come I'm completely naked and you haven't got your coat and boots off?'

'I had my priorities,' Lexa quipped with a grin as she kicked off her boots and shucked off her coat.

'It's not fair. If I had two working arms and a body that wasn't completely wasted from being in a coma for a month then I'd have had you naked long ago,' Clarke watched as Lexa peeled off her top, the warm material landing on her face a second later. She laughed and pulled it off, staring at the commander who was looking at her with an arched eyebrow as if to ask if she'd got it right. Clarke nodded and so Lexa wriggled out of her pants and then with a little hesitation threw them at Clarke, who's eyes were fixed on tan skin, black lines and everything the Commanders remaining clothes hid. Lexa's eyes were huge, watching the Skaiprisa's every expression, every nuance of every expression, as she unwound her bindings and threw them at her. Lexa watched Clarke's pink tongue moisten her lips and her eyes darken as they absorbed her breasts. Then they dropped to her underwear and so Lexa hooked her fingers in the waistband and pushed them down. Clarke's throaty moan caused moisture to pool and when Lexa threw the underwear at the fair haired goddess, she held it to her face.

'Here,' Clarke ordered, and Lexa obediently crawled across the bed and over Clarke's body, allowing her naked form to rest against the soft skin of her lover. Their lips met and at once Clarke lost her control, immediately seeking to dominate, to express to Lexa how much she adored her, how much she loved her. Her hand cupped one perfect breast and then the other, squeezing, the soft flesh in her palm making her feel the weird feeling of frenzied contentment. 'Closer,' she urged and Lexa acquiesced, her warm, wet heat sliding up over Clarke's stomach until Clarke could suck one perfect nipple into her mouth, before kissing and licking the skin. She wanted to taste every part of the girl. It was imperative that she did, that she know Lexa as fully as Lexa knew her. Throughout their entire physical relationship she'd been unable to touch the girl properly, and even now she had to beg. 'I want to taste you,' she nuzzled the breast beside her face before looking up at dark eyes.

'Hmm,' Lexa nodded and so Clarke shimmied down the bed so she was lying and urged Lexa even further up her body by her hip.

'Beja,' she encouraged until she could smell her, could see her dark, inviting warmth. She was beautiful and she smelt divine. Clarke had never wanted anything so much and she raised her head and kissed her inner thighs, kissed trails across skin until she was kissing her clit, a soft, teasing butterfly kiss. Lexa, rather thoughtfully, shifted a pillow under her head taking the strain off of her neck and Clarke tugged her even closer as she licked, tasting Lexa, making Lexa hers. She wasn't going to tell Lexa that she'd never done what she was doing before, not because she was embarrassed but because she could feel what she wanted to do, and it wasn't follow direction - that would come later. At that moment she wanted to follow her instinct, to kiss where she wanted, explore every part of the girl hovering above her, to listen and respond to the fucking amazing noises she was making. If something made Lexa groan she did it again and again before experimenting and trying something different - a nip, warm breath, thrusting tongue, whatever made her hips cant forward into her face, whatever made her whimper and start cursing under her breath. Clarke didn't even mean to push Lexa over the edge though she knew the girl was close, her breathing ragged, her head thrown back and hips driving down. Clarke wasn't thinking about making Lexa come undone as she sucked her clit into her mouth, as her hand squeezed one breast hard, but the Commander made the sexiest noise Clarke had ever heard and then cried out, another curse word that was way louder than all the other curse words had been, as her hips thrust herself against Clarke's mouth and she groaned her release.

'Clarke,' her hips stilled though Clarke's mouth kept moving. 'Clarke,' she wriggled down Clarke's body, plastering herself against the Skaiprisa's left side, in her favourite position - face resting against one breast and hand on the other. 'Ai Prisa,' she whispered kissing the breast and Clarke felt a warmth spread through her.

'Ai Heda,' she ran her left hand through the brown curls cascading over Lexa's naked back.

'Was my striptease ok?' Lexa asked looking up at her and Clarke smiled,

'It was great,' she reassured. 'Was I...uh...ok?'

'You are always amazing,' Lexa summarized.

'I've never exactly done that before,' she admitted feeling self conscious of her inexperience.

'You haven't?' Lexa raised herself onto her elbow so she was looking at Clarke.

'No,' she didn't feel like going into it but did because Lexa was frowning. 'I wasn't particularly adventurous on the Ark. It was hard to find time to make out with anyone let alone do more. There wasn't freedom - well not for me anyway. I know it was different for Raven but she was over eighteen. I was the daughter of council members, and I was only sixteen when I went into solitary.'

'Then how is it you were so wonderful?' Lexa smiled looking decidedly smug.

'I guess because I wanted you so much?' Clarke gave the Commander the compliment she wanted, pleased with Lexa's smile. 'Next time you can offer advice...'

'Nowe,' Lexa stated firmly. 'When you love me you may love me as you wish.'

'Ok Lexa,' Clarke laughed a little. Lexa dropped her head back to its favourite pillow, finger drawing patterns across Clarke's stomach, both of them lying in silence for a while.

'I worry for you,' Lexa broke the quiet. Clarke had been on the brink of dozing off and raised her head in confusion.

'You do?'

'Mmm, of course. You nearly died. You still don't seem strong,' a finger traced a prominent rib pointedly.

'I think it's fairly obvious that you'll beat me in any fight we're forced to have.'

'I would not,' Lexa raised her head again, rolling onto her so one thigh slotted between Clarke's, causing the girls eyelids to flutter shut at the pressure it put between her legs.

'And how am I beating you in a fight?' Clarke raised her left hand and twirled a strand of brown hair around her finger.

'I would bow down and surrender to you,' Lexa promised and rested on her arms which she placed on either side of Clarke's head, the lowering of her body causing her breasts to brush against Clarke's. Both moaned softly, and Clarke used the tendril of hair wrapped around her finger to tug Lexa's lips to hers.

'What if I bowed down to you?' she whispered between soft kisses.

'Maybe that is the only thing we can do,' Lexa seemed more interested in kissing her than the conversation.

'No Lex, really. What if we surrendered to each other?'

'They would say that you are the winner.'

'Why?' Clarke asked as Lexa trailed kisses over her jaw.

'Because I am the commander and the commander cannot surrender without admitting the superiority of her competitor.'

'So don't surrender to me. Let me surrender to you,' Clarke offered her breath catching a little as Lexa's thigh pressed against her and moved enough to spark her body's more base desires into overdrive.

'They would see you surrendering to me as evidence of your superiority, of your all power.'

'Why?' Clarke scoffed in frustration, 'that doesn't even make any sense. If you surrender I'm all powerful and if I surrender I'm all powerful? They need to make up their minds.'

'Think about it Clarke. Most people think you have too much power. That you have an ability to create peace or death depending on the people you are with. Whether you are Ogedauf or Ogedafotouf an act of surrender against me, the person they consider you to be more powerful than, is a sign of your power and superiority because you are saying you accept the challenge of no one, that you are above all.'

'How?'

'Well you would only do that for some reason they don't understand. Most people would fight. Especially someone who defeated the mountain and who saved them all from missiles. Especially someone who rid the Azgeda of their queen and brought about a real chance for peace.'

'Anyone could argue that you did all that,' Clarke grumbled.

'No,' Lexa shook her head before leaning forward and pressing a warm kiss to her neck, just below her ear.

'So you cannot surrender and I cannot surrender.'

'I can surrender and you can surrender, but both options will mean death for me.'

'Then they're not options,' Clarke smoothed her hand over Lexa's bare shoulder.

'They are. I will not fight you,' Lexa shifted against Clarke and this time the Skaiprisa knew it was intentional as the Commanders strong thigh rubbed, causing the extremely pleasant feeling that seemed to be constantly simmering to boil.

'Lexa,' she was protesting the sentiment because no way was Lexa sacrificing herself, but her tone also implored Lexa to keep moving.

'Hmm,' her warm mouth sucked at the pulse point on Clarke's neck before she tugged the lobe of her ear between her teeth causing Clarke's innards to swoop around.

'Indra...'

'I wish to love you without hearing the name of another on your lips,' Lexa growled, nipping the skin on her neck and rocking more forcefully.

'No Lex,' she attempted but Lexa was sliding her skilled mouth south and trailing kisses over one breast as her palm kneaded the other. 'Lexa,' Clarke tried again.

'I wish to love you,' the Commander was more like a petulant child than the leader of earth and the expression made Clarke laugh. 'It is not supposed to be amusing,' she snarled which only increased Clarke's desire to laugh.

'I wish to talk,' she said instead and Lexa pouted and moved her thigh with far too much skill, as she squeezed her hand around Clarke's breast, pinching the nipple.

'Really?'

'Yes,' Clarke insisted, 'and then you do that, again, more, a lot,' she moaned softly.

'So talk,' Lexa rested her chin on Clarke's chest apparently unwilling to move.

'What are we going to do. I want to know what we're going to do,' as she spoke Clarke realized just how terrified she was of losing Lexa. Earth only made sense because of the other girl and it would seem infinitely more hostile without the Commander by her side.

'I don't know. We could run away,' Lexa stared at her with love filled eyes.

'You'd leave your people?' Clarke asked sceptically.

'Nowe,' Lexa admitted and smiled a small smile.

'Indra...'

'Still mentioning others in my bed?' Lexa arched a perfect brow.

'My friends said Indra was, uh...' Clarke felt her face heat up, her heart beginning to race.

'What?'

'They joked that she was planning our wedding.'

'What is a wedding?' Lexa rolled half off of Clarke and leaned on her elbow in order to stare at her.

'It's uh...when...well, when two people are joined...in law, as family...you know like a partnership for life.'

'You mean you'd become my houmon?' Lexa looked utterly bewildered, stunned, like someone had hit her with a stun stick.

'I just thought that maybe...maybe they wouldn't make us fight...'

'You would want that? To be joined with me?' Lexa still had that look on her face and it frightened Clarke because she couldn't get an accurate read on Lexa, on whether she was offended, thrilled or just confused.

'Lexa we've only just started to be more than friends...I wouldn't rush something like that.'

'So you don't wish it?' Lexa's expression didn't alter.

'I was just asking if they'd make us fight, you know if we were together that way?' Clarke hedged, unwilling to answer her Heda's questions.

'I don't know,' Lexa looked away from her, across the tent staring at nothing. 'I don't know. Normally no, they would never make us fight but we aren't just anyone and the situation isn't normal.'

'But it would be a clear message that we see each other as equals? That we want to lead together?' Clarke tried to sit up and Lexa helped her, putting cushions behind her to lean on. 'Muchof,' she nodded her thanks.

'It would send a clear message,' Lexa said and then looked down at her own hands, teeth biting her lower lip for a moment, 'but I would not wish that to be the reason we were joined together.'

'If we don't do whatever we can we'll never have a chance because one of us will be dead,' Clarke defended but Lexa shook her head,

'Joining two people together is sacred Clarke. It is not done frivolously. It is done because one cannot live without the other, and if you are uncertain I would not do that.'

'Then how else do we save ourselves?' Clarke couldn't help but let her frustration show and unwilling at this point to analyze her feelings about marriage to Lexa.

'I don't know,' Lexa cupped Clarke's chin with her hand, 'if I die my spirit will live on Clarke, you know that right? And I trust you.'

'Trust me?'

'To lead our people well.'

'It's not an option Lexa,' Clarke glowered. 'You're not dying. You're not dying for me.'

'We have no options,' Lexa shrugged.

'So you're giving up?'

'I will never give up fighting for more time with you Clarke,' Lexa spoke sincerely.

'Then let's think of options Lexa. There are always options. There have to be.'

'Ai Prisa,' Lexa moved closer, pulled Clarke onto her lap and pressed a kiss to her hair. 'You are Ogedauf - if anyone can come up with a plan it is you.'

'Mockery is not the product of a strong mind Lexa,' Clarke gave Lexa a pointed look.

'I am not mocking you,' Lexa merely shrugged, 'I have faith in you.'

'Tell me everything about the fight and I mean everything. I want to know all the details no matter how inconsequential you think they are. Who will be there, where, when, how. Who challenges who and under what rules we are obliged to fight. I want to know everything.'

'Ok,' Lexa smoothed a hand across Clarke's bare stomach and began to talk.


	15. 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa make plans to avoid a fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the feedback. Love the comments:)

**Chapter Fifteen**

'You keep talking but I don't get a word of what you're saying,' Bellamy was gaping at her and the others weren't wearing expression of enlightenment either.

'Lexa and I are meant to fight,' she repeated. 'To the death.'

'Yeah, ok, so I hear what you're saying, but I don't understand,' Bellamy scowled in exasperation. Clarke sighed and stared at those in Lexa's tent with her. Octavia and Raven were laying on the bed in a manner Lexa would not appreciate, Monty, Miller and Bellamy had taken chairs from around the war table and brought them nearer the bed. Lincoln was stood, looking entirely uncertain about being in his Heda's space in this way. Clarke was perched on the edge of the bed, trying to explain the situation. Unfortunately she was having trouble making it past the initial opening sentence.

'So what, she saved you so she can kill you in front of her people?' Octavia scoffed, echoing Clarke's first question. 'I thought she was in love with you.'

'Clarke showed her up and that's not going to go down well,' Raven supplied.

'So why exactly do they want you to fight?' Miller had his lip curled in a half snarl of uncertainty.

'Is it that God stuff?' Raven asked and Clarke swallowed, because it was really weird to hear her friends discuss it, especially as a credible reason. 'Because they think she needs to beat you to prove her right to be commander?'

'For some,' Clarke nodded.

'And for others?' Bellamy stared at her through narrowed eyes.

'They want me to beat her.'

'Right, because that's real likely considering you can barely stand,' Raven rolled her eyes.

'I could just shoot her,' Clarke pointed out. 'Use the weapon of my people.'

'You're not going to are you?' Octavia looked shocked.

'So you're actually going to fight? What about all the love bullshit?' Bellamy looked furious. Clarke shot a cautious look at Lincoln before answering in a soft voice,

'No. Lexa will surrender to me before there's a fight.'

'So no problem?' Octavia asked.

'If Lexa surrenders Clarke must kill her,' Lincoln stared at Clarke.

'Why? Doesn't that defeat the point of surrendering?' Miller rolled his eyes.

'Normally if one surrenders they live. But Lexa is the commander. If she surrenders she is abdicating from her position. She must die for another commander to exist, or I don't know in this circumstance. No one has talked about Ogedauf since before the bombs,' he eyed Clarke.

'Don't call me that,' Clarke crossed her arms. 'I'm no one special.'

'You may not be Ogedauf but you are most certainly someone special,' Lexa stalked into the tent looking every bit the leader, her eyes fixed on Octavia and Raven, eyebrows arched and mouth turned down in irritation. Without a word on the subject both girls scrambled off the bed. 'Have you told them?'

'Trying to. Getting lots of questions.'

'Ok,' Lexa held her forearm for a moment, eyes dropping longingly to her lips 'I will leave you.'

'You don't have to,' Clarke offered. 'I mean I'd like you to stay. We have to talk about the Ark and everything else,' she sighed, tired as always.

'What about the Ark?' Monty looked up.

'How to deal with them now the war is over,' Clarke turned on the bed to lean against the end, still unable to sit for long periods without support. It was frustrating that she wasn't her old self and yet she knew she was doing far better than anyone had hoped considering she'd only woken up five days earlier. Lexa stood beside her, hand falling at her side where Clarke could easily slip hers into it. Lexa gave her a look, but she ignored it - everyone in the tent knew they were in a relationship, or together, or whatever it was. There was no need to be discrete.

'Shouldn't Indra be here if we're talking about the Ark? And Peyo?' Octavia asked.

'We have spoken to them already, but the Ark were your people, and so I wanted to talk to all of you,' Lexa waited expectantly but no one spoke. 'There are one hundred and sixty-three who remained loyal to Chancellor Griffin. The rest have all been confirmed by Raven as loyal to the Sky People.'

'There were an awful lot by the end,' Raven shrugged.

'Clarke and I put people into four groups,' Lexa looked at the Skaiprisa who gave a small nod for her to continue. 'First, those who led the attempt to annihilate, those who threw bombs at my people. Second, those who stood idly by and allowed this action to be taken. Third, those whom we are unclear about, whose intentions are hard to know for certain such as Wick and Murphy,' Lexa said Murphy's name with noticeable venom, 'and fourth, those who Raven has deemed allies.'

'Ok. Where's Kane?' Raven asked.

'In the third group with Wick and Murphy.'

'And Abby?' Bellamy looked at Clarke.

'You know where she is,' Clarke sighed.

'So what do the group's mean?' Octavia asked and Monty and Miller nodded their support of the question.

'Well the fourth group, the allies, they've already been incorporated into TonDC,' Lexa explained. 'The third group need trials. They'll have the opportunity to defend their actions and be judged by you and some of the Trikru. The second group are guilty but we may discuss their punishment if you wish,' the words did not roll easily off Lexa's tongue but Clarke squeezed her hand reassuringly. 'The first group will be killed by a thousand cuts.'

'Woah, that's...' Bellamy began and Lexa cut across him,

'Too harsh?' she asked in a cold, calculated voice. 'They wanted to kill every man, woman and child in a hundred mile radius. We aren't not monsters for seeking blood for blood.'

'But they didn't,' Monty began and Lexa whirled around.

'Because we won the war,' it was Clarke that said the words, though Lexa had been about to. Lexa's chest was heaving, 'they would have killed them all. They killed forty at Mount Weather. We cannot arrive on earth and seek to change their ways. I love my mother but she will die with the others.'

'It's just so...harsh,' Raven breathed, because she had felt the impact of death by a thousand cuts twice over.

'On the Ark I was to be killed for less than what they did. So was Monty. And Miller. And you Octavia,' gazes dropped at those words.

'How many? How many are in that group?'

'There are fifteen - my mother, Jaha was killed at the mountain, others on the council and several guards.'

'Can't we just float them?' Miller asked. 'Please?'

'Don't forget that these people had a choice,' Raven reminded him. 'They chose not to side against killing all of them and all of you. People knew there was a resistance, that there were people against Abby's plan but these people actively furthered this destructive agenda.'

'What group is Jasper in?' Monty asked quietly.

'The third group,' Clarke said softly and then in barely more than a whisper, 'for you. For Maya.'

'Thank you.'

'And punishment for the second group?' Lexa clearly wanted things sorted.

'Punishment? How can we decide that?' Octavia asked.

'These are people that would have allowed the killing of thousands. You included. They did not actively plan but they were complicit. They are guilty because they supported the plan and didn't seek to object.'

'How many are in that group?' Bellamy asked.

'One hundred and twenty six.'

'That's a lot,' Monty sighed.

'Could we banish them?' Miller looked at Bellamy, who looked at Clarke.

'It's a good idea. But I fear one hundred and twenty six people who were supportive of Grounder annihilation may one day become an army. Banishment seems kinder than death but people aren't good with being cast out - they tend to plan and seek revenge,' Clarke shrugged a little, surprised by Lexa who actually sat beside her and kissed her forehead.

'Ogedauf,' she whispered and Clarke glowered at her,

'Shof op Heda,' she hissed.

'Nowe,' Lexa slipped a hand around her neck, thumb smoothing over the Skairpisa's cheek.

'Ai trip yu raun,' Clarke pushed Lexa's hand roughly away, aware of everyone's eyes on them.

'Don't be angry,' Lexa looked down.

'Ai teina yu,' Clarke attempted, her Tridegasleng patchy at best but she didn't want this argument with Lexa again and most especially not in front of her friends. Lexa, for some stupid reason, seemed to think the Sky People would side with her and Clarke had enough fear to hesitate in the conversation because people were looking at her differently, even Raven and Octavia who had mocked her leadership openly before.

'Not for this reason,' Lexa would not budge and it frustrated Clarke to the point where she was barely sleeping at night, even when Lexa was curled into her body.

'Ai hod yu in. Sha?'

'Sha,' Lexa nodded, head still bowed, ridiculously submissive. 'Ai hod yu in,' she raised big eyes to meet Clarke's, and Clarke swallowed the lump in her throat.

'I'm not Ogedauf or Ogedafotouf. And ai teina yu because...because...'

'You don't want me to die,' Lexa filled in.

'No. Because I want you to live,' she attempted.

'What's going on?' Raven looked between them both.

'Teina? I don't know that word,' Octavia looked to Lincoln who was staring at the two leaders, his expression shocked.

'Clarke?' Bellamy took a step towards them.

'Lexa believes the ridiculousness of Ogedauf. She thinks I have power...' Clarke sounded utterly derisive.

'Heda is wise,' Lincoln bowed his head just slightly.

'Stop it,' Clarke yelled, 'just stop it,' she used her hand to tilt Lexa's head back up and sunk down on the bed so she was lower than the other girl, clearly altering the positions of power Lexa had put them in when she bowed her head below Clarke. 'You don't bow down to me,' she seethed. 'I cannot filter every thought so that you don't take it as a sign of my power.'

'It is not only your thoughts,' Lexa informed her.

'If you believe in my thoughts and their power so much - ai teina yu.'

'What's that mean?' Octavia's eyes were flicking between the two leaders and Lincoln. Neither Lincoln or Lexa seemed prepared to answer and Clarke huffed.

'It's me speaking really bad Tridegasleng.'

'Yeah I got that,' Octavia rolled her eyes.

'It means to join. I want to join her, become you know, together. That's part of a plan - a plan she won't follow - a plan that has her calling me Ogedauf,' she glowered at Lexa, 'and yet she won't do it.'

'It is a sacred ceremony that not many enter into,' Lincoln sounded defensive and Clarke shot him a scathing look, too frustrated.

'I know,' she told him and his head dipped. 'I was challenged by one who had lost his houmon. Believe me I know.'

'Wanting to save my life is not a reason,' Lexa said softly, her chin putting pressure against Clarke's hand.

'Don't,' Clarke seethed, 'look me in the eye. Don't dip your head,' she couldn't hide her frustration anymore.

'Can you catch us up here Clarke?' Octavia asked gently and Clarke realized she was shaking. 'And uh, maybe eat a little something. You're kind of pale.'

Lexa stopped resisting Clarke and stared at her before standing and striding through to the outer part of the tent, returning a moment later with a plate of meat and berries which she placed before Clarke.

'Eat,' she ordered and Clarke crossed her arms and glared.

'Ai teina yu,' she stated insistently.

'You are being a child,' Lexa stropped.

'I'm trying to save your life,' Clarke pushed the plate away. 'Why won't you let me?'

'Because,' Lexa's hands were clenched in fists by her side.

'Wow, great reason. Go die...because...'

'People should not be joined for the wrong reasons - it means too much,' Lincoln said softly and Clarke turned her ire on him.

'So tell me, what are the right reasons? Why are people joined?'

'Joined?' Raven queried but no one paid her any attention.

'For love,' Lincoln said softly, 'because you are stronger together and you wish to fight through this life with the other person. It is about entwining all parts of your soul, even the bad ones. Many cannot last together and so to be joined is very significant. People hold those joined in the highest esteem because not many are authorized to go through with it. Love is not enough.'

'What is enough?' Clarke demanded.

'Sacrifice. Your happiness for theirs. The willingness to give your life for theirs. Usually only those who have been through extreme circumstance will be joined.'

'Who, uh, joins them?' Bellamy asked.

'The leaders of the twelve clans must all approve it or the majority. Your leader too I guess.'

'So what's the problem?' Raven asked bluntly. 'It's obvious you love each other. And sacrifice - you're big on sacrificing happiness. And if you're both willing to die for each other...'

'It is not so simple,' Lexa's eyes fluttered, a tell of her emotion, but her face was blank.

'I made the mistake of telling her that because we'd only just started being together, ideally I would wait.'

'You don't just walk away from being joined,' Lexa explained.

'And you're being ridiculous,' Clarke glared at the other leader who whirled her head back round,

'Ridiculous is giving you a life with no choices. You would have to be with me. Wherever I am even if that is away from your people.'

'I'm pretty sure they don't expect me to become your shadow,' Clarke rolled her eyes, 'that you will have to come places with me too.'

'Well yes,' Lexa faltered, 'but you aren't ready for that.'

'Jok,' Clarke shook her head.

'You swear at me?' Lexa stood by the bed looking furious, her brows arched as she stared at the Skapirsa.

'Yes,' Clarke shuffled across the bed and wrapped her arms around Lexa's waist, closing her eyes and pressing her face to her chest. 'Relationships in the sky were different. We had marriage, a joining, and divorce and floating.'

'Divorce?'

'Breaking a joining,' Clarke explained, not moving from her hold on Lexa.

'Because someone cheated, or beat their partner, or fell out of love,' Bellamy explained. 'It didn't happen a lot but it did happen.'

'That doesn't happen here,' Lincoln explained.

'So what does?' Octavia asked.

'Well not many are joined. Those that are, they made a commitment to work through it. If one wrongs the other, they may take vengeance.'

'You mean kill?'

'Yes.'

'Seems a little harsh,' Octavia's eyes widened.

'Our ways are harsh,' Lexa ground out, stood, arms hanging loosely had her side as Clarke remained wrapped around her.

'Lexa,' Clarke pleaded.

'You didn't want it...' Lexa attempted, her voice faltering.

'Of course I wanted it,' Clarke looked up at her with wide beseeching eyes. 'I mean, yeah I want to save you, but I want to save me too. I'm in love with you, so I think about a life with you - just because normally I'd wait doesn't mean I want to never have that chance. I think I know you pretty well Lexa. What annoys me and what I really, really love. I even know that this is what you always do.'

'What?' Lexa's brow furrowed.

'You kill those you don't trust, you try not to care - you think love is weakness. You're pushing me away, calling me names and claiming I didn't want it, but I'm here saying that I do. Saying that I could live a life with you and you're saying no. Hanging onto something I said as if I have no ability to change my mind and views. If you don't want this for whatever reason then tell me. Don't make me think you're refusing for me.'

'Clarke this is a conversation for just us,' Lexa had stiffened.

'Is it?' Clarke muttered. 'Isn't it about trying to save us both? Or have you given up?'

'What about what is best for my people?' Lexa snarled, moving her body from Clarke's. 'I have been best for them but I believe you would be better.'

'And they could have us both. It doesn't have to be either or,' Clarke remained knelt on the edge of the bed.

'I cannot force you to...'

'Force? No you're right. You can't force me to do anything, isn't that the problem?' Clarke actually stood up, legs still weak, her hand holding onto the bed for support, 'if people could force me then no one would want us to fight, would they?'

'I just meant...'

'I know what you meant,' Clarke thundered. 'You're making excuses. You meant you would rather die than be with me.'

'Clarke no,' Lexa looked down.

'Go,' Clarke ordered the others and practically as one they scrambled from the tent. 'Lexa?'

'Yes?' Lexa seemed to steal herself as she looked up.

'Just admit it.'

'I care,' Lexa took a step towards her, 'and I would live a thousand lives if they got to be with you.'

'So what's the problem?' Clarke felt exasperation overtake her.

'What if it doesn't work? What if you regret it? What if you are forced to fight me anyway and...'

'Lexa...we have a plan we can use.'

'Sha,' Lexa looked away, eyes stinging.

'I love you. I want to try and save this, us. I want to be joined with you.'

'Clarke,' Lexa looked like she might break so Clarke moved on shaky legs before dropping to the ground before her as her legs gave way. She wrapped her arms around Lexa's knees.

'I know it's terrifying. To open yourself up, but I love you. You can trust me to look after you.'

'I do trust you Clarke...I just...don't trust myself.'

'What do you mean?'

'What if I cannot make you happy? What if you die? What if they still make us fight?'

'Help me,' Clarke tried to pull herself up using Lexa's legs until the Commander bent down and scooped her into her arms, carrying her to the bed. They lay together in silence for a few moments. 'Happiness is our own responsibility. As is survival to a degree. All you and I do is try and ensure everyone's survival. Both of us will die, but I don't think it'll be because of the other. And we have a plan for if they ask us to fight. It'll either work or it won't. If it doesn't then I'm not sure we'll be worrying about it.'

'Ok.'

'Ok?'

'Clarke I would like nothing more than to be joined with you. It is all I want. I wish the circumstances were different but to know you are mine and I am yours. Beja Clarke?'

'Beja?' Clarke frowned, unclear if Lexa was asking or not.

'I wish to be joined with you, if, and only if, that is what you want?'

'Sha,' Clarke grinned.

'Sha?' A slow smile worked its way over Lexa's face.

'Yes.'

'Ok,' Lexa lay on her side looking uncertain as she watched Clarke lay back on her bed, leaning up on her elbows to stare up at her expectantly. Her eyes narrowed in question and Clarke laughed,

'I assumed you would wish to love me, but you know...if you don't want to...'

'I want to,' Lexa laughed and landed on top of her, kissing her long and hard, thoroughly.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

'Clarke,' Bellamy shouted into the tent not wishing to interrupt anything.

'Come through,' Clarke called and waited for him sat on Lexa's bed doing stretching exercises to try and improve her strength.

'You ok?'

'Physical therapy,' she scowled. 'It took me ages to build up my muscles when we dropped here and hardly any time at all for them to disappear.'

'When you were in that coma it didn't feel like hardly any time,' Bellamy shrugged.

'I guess, not for you guys anyway.'

'Did you and Lexa sort things out? I saw her storming through camp with a small smile on her face.'

'Yeah?' Clarke brightened at that.

'Yeah,' he waited expectantly.

'She agreed to my plan,' Clarke said with a small smile of her own.

'So you're getting married?'

'Joined,' Clarke clarified. 'Yes. We're going to try. I know...uh, that some of us need to stay here and stay with our people, but I would really appreciate it if you could...'

'Come to Polis with you?' Bellamy arched a brow and Clarke nodded, 'they may make you fight - of course we're coming.'

'We?'

'Raven, Octavia, Lincoln and me. If you agree that is. Miller and Monty agreed to stay as proxy leaders.'

'Yes, and thank you.'

'When are we going?'

'After the trials. Lexa can justify staying here until that's done.'

'What are we going to do with group 2?' Bellamy sat on the edge of the bed.

'Kill them with kindness?' Clarke suggested.

'Is that an Ogedauf suggestion?' he smirked.

'Don't you start. But really. Why don't we split them up and move them to different villages. They'll need to have someone they must report to, you know to keep an eye on them. Show them how wrong my moms plan was.'

'Hmmm, what about Grounder vengeance?'

'If we want them to assimilate I think excessive torture may be counterproductive.'

'But the culture on earth is harsh,' Bellamy argued.

'The culture in the sky was harsh too. Maybe they expect death. Maybe they can be floated?'

'Though they were doing what they thought was best for survival,' Bellamy frowned.

'Which was basically kill everyone else.'

'They should probably be floated.'

'Probably. That feels like a harsh decision,' Clarke frowned and stood carefully by the bed and walked slowly to where there was a jug of water, and poured them each a cup.

'Well done,' Bellamy smiled and she widened her eyes,

'I know, pouring cups of water, whatever next?'

'Do you want me to talk to the others about group two?'

'Yes. I'll talk to Lexa.'

'It is harsh, but earth is harsh. They supported taking the earth by force. We fought to protect ourselves and then tried for peace. You achieved peace. There was no need for them to do this.'

'I know,' Clarke sighed, 'it's sad that's all? Look at the Sky People in TonDC. Planting things, building homes, learning the language. The whole war was unnecessary. They sought to use missiles that could never be used and now have to die for it?'

'What if they have the same plan again? What if they go and they find weaponry? It's too big a risk Clarke.'

'I know,' she walked carefully back to the bed and handed him a cup of water, sitting down.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

'Are you ok?' Lexa stood beside her and took her hand despite all the people that might see.

'No,' Clarke admitted.

'They'll bring them out soon. You should go speak to her.'

'And say what?'

'Tell her about our joining,' Lexa gave a small smile and Clarke buried her face against her strong shoulder,

'Hmm, she'll be thrilled,' Clarke muttered.

'She's about to die,' Lexa wrapped an arm around the Skaiprisa's head and held her close. 'Go talk to her.'

'Ok.'

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

'Hi mom,' Clarke sat opposite her mother.

'Clarke,' her mother stared at her, apparently unwilling to show weakness. 'You look better.' It had been two weeks since Clarke had left Mount Weather and her mother's care.

'I'm getting there. My muscles are still pathetic.'

'Keep doing the exercises and they'll improve. And eat a little more. You're still too thin.'

'I'm fine,' she waved off her mother's concern and for a few minutes they sat in silence. 'I'm sorry it has come to this.'

'So am I. Fear took me by surprise Clarke. I can't really justify myself because I'm not sure what happened. I became this other person, scared of everything. I'm sorry too, you know?' Abby stared into she daughters eyes and Clarke felt tightness clutch at her throat, her eyes stinging as they desperately sought to shed tears.

'I wish,' Clarke attempted but her voice barely came out. 'That it could be different.'

'I know,' Abby sighed, 'I deserve this. I planned something despicable and I justified it and tried to achieve it. I've seen our people in the village here...seen their homes...and I was wrong.'

'You were,' Clarke agreed.

'Don't watch,' Abby told her daughter but Clarke shook her head,

'I have to. It's only right. Lexa will make the end quick,' she swiped at her eyes.

'Lexa,' Abby's face tightened and Clarke nodded.

'Don't be like that, please don't be like that,' she begged. 'I've lost dad, I'm about to lose you, so please don't be like that about the girl I love.'

'Are you sure you love her?' Abby shook her head slightly.

'Yes,' Clarke all but yelled. 'We're going to be joined.'

'Joined?'

'Like married only more,' Clarke explained. 'She makes me happy. She's an amazing person.'

'She's hard and unfeeling and a bad influence.'

'Don't do this, please,' Clarke sighed, tears abating. 'She is strong and kind. She's generous, and compassionate and rational. She's clever too, and sweet. She looks after me, would do anything for me. She would die to protect me.'

'I guess it's true,' Abby's look softened.

'What is?'

'That you never know the truth of other people's relationships. I hope she makes you happy and if she can keep you alive, that's all I want.'

'She's going to do her best,' Clarke didn't want to tell her mother about what they would face in Polis.

'I've seen her look at you. I believe she loves you. Are you sure you really love her?'

'Yes,' Clarke nodded. 'A lot.'

'Even with all the betrayal and the hurt?'

'Even then. I was so angry after what happened at Mount Weather but I made my own peace with things. Everyone seems to think loneliness leads to slight insanity but I was alone before I came to earth. I was alone for a whole year. I used the time after Mount Weather to decide for myself how I felt about everything. And yeah I was angry at Lexa, but I was also impressed. She cared for me then and yet she chose to limit bloodshed, to save her people. I chose another path and it was horrific, but it was right. I've made my peace with what happened.'

'I've heard what they're calling you.'

'I know,' Clarke lowered her eyes.

'Be careful Clarke. Gods fall.'

'I know.'

'I love you. Very much and I'm very sorry...that I didn't listen, that I couldn't see how naturally you led here on earth.'

'I love you too,' Clarke nodded and reached her left hand across the table, meeting her mother's outstretched hand and taking it.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX 

Clarke stood between Raven, Bellamy, Octavia, Monty and Miller as their people were cut. It was worse than Clarke could have imagined and yet she couldn't deny earth laws. Earth was harsh but there was a reason for it. The one hundred and twenty six individuals in group two, the group they still couldn't decide what to do with, they had been brought to watch, guarded by Grounders. Clarke kept her eyes on the horizon. The others did too. There was little choice in the situation and they knew it, but it didn't make it any easier to hear the cries of their people, the sadness and sorrow, the pain. Clarke nearly fell when she heard her mother scream and she knew it was only Bellamy and Raven holding her upright.

'Nearly over princess,' Bellamy reassured and Clarke raised her eyes to watch as Lexa stood before her mother. Her lover had to kill her mother and it hurt unbelievably.

'Yu gonplei ste odon,' Lexa stated clearly and plunged the sword through her heart. Clarke didn't mean to gasp, didn't mean to falter, but it was impossible not to, not when faced with her mother's death, not when all the things that had led to that moment ran through her head. Her heart beat and her mother's did not. Her mind thought and her mother's did not. She didn't see the other deaths, didn't smell the smoke from the funeral pyre, or recognize it was over. But she didn't outwardly falter either, not after the gasp. She stood and with unseeing eyes remained, because she was a leader and ultimately some of the responsibility for the deaths occurring was on her shoulders.

It was only when Lexa took her hand that she broke free of her trance and stared at the Commander who hadn't had to just witness the deaths, but take lives.

'Come,' she whispered, and led her through the village to her tent. When they were in the tent Clarke slumped against her and allowed herself to be held in Lexa's arms, to be carried to the bed. Lexa lay her on the bed before throwing off her jacket and armour until she was in pants and a shirt. Then she sat and pulled Clarke against her. Clarke's head rested in her lap as she began to comb through the fair waves, fingers playing with the strands as she murmured her love in a language her lover did not understand. Hours passed but Lexa's fingers did not still, not until Clarke lay sleeping.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX 

Clarke awoke with a gasp in her throat, but Lexa wrapped arms around her,

'It's ok, you're safe,' she whispered into Clarke's neck, pressing kisses to the skin.

'Are you ok?' Clarke swivelled in her arms and buried her face against Lexa's chest,

'Me?' Lexa seemed surprised by the question.

'Yes, you killed fifteen people. You killed my mother. I mean something to you so...are you ok?'

'I haven't been asked that for a long time,' Lexa's arms tightened. 'I wish it had been different but it was justice.'

'It was,' Clarke agreed, 'though...'

'What?' Lexa encouraged when she trailed off.

'We prevented the crime. They were punished for intent.'

'Intent is a hard thing to judge, you are right. Sometimes we have to acknowledge that merely because they were prevented from committing the crime does not abdicate them of the responsibility for trying to complete it. We could all be dead. They planned to kill everyone and for that reason I could push my sword through their hearts.'

'I know,' Clarke snuggled closer, 'but they were my people. My mother. I wish they'd seen the error of their ways. I wish I hadn't had to judge them. I wish that you, my lover, hadn't had to kill them.'

'You have many wishes Clarke. Life is easier if we don't focus on wishes but on what is.'

'Back to life lessons?' Clarke asked, but she didn't raise her face, just snuck her hands under Lexa's top and onto the warmth of her skin.

'I am trying to help,' Lexa stated and Clarke smiled a sad smile. Lexa was helping in her own way. The Commander was who she was and she was no stranger to grief and no stranger to decisions that hurt.

'I have one more wish,' Clarke swallowed back her tears and Lexa shuffled down the bed so she was facing her.

'Sha?'

'Don't leave me. Don't surrender no matter what. Don't die. Please?'

'I can't promise that, you know that Clarke.'

'Promise me you'll try,' Clarke asked.

'I do promise I'll try, but I will do what it takes to save you.'

'I don't want to be saved without you. You said love was weakness and you're right. I know it's strength as well, but I don't know if I could lose you. I've lost my dad, my mom, my home, Finn, my people. I don't want to lose you. I don't think I could be me without you.'

'I will try ai Prisa,' Lexa kissed her cheeks, kissed at the tear tracks. 'I promise I will try.'

'Thank you.'

They lay in silence, Lexa staring at her face.

'Lexa?'

'Sha?'

'I can't sentence over one hundred people to death. Can they receive punishment of a different sort and be distributed amongst villages. Maybe two or three to a village? Beja?'

'Sha,' Lexa leant forward and captured Clarke's lips with her own, a gentle, soft kiss that was full of love.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX 

The journey to Polis took three days on horse. Indra travelled with them, even though TonDC was her village, Lexa was her commander and she would bear witness to the relationship between Clarke and Lexa. Bellamy would speak on behalf of Clarke and the Sky People. Octavia attended with Lincoln as Clarke's guard, while Raven travelled with them as her friend. Ten guards who Clarke didn't know well also made the trip. Lexa said they were chosen because they had family in Polis. Clarke considered this a kind gesture.

Nights were spent around the campfire. The Sky People were urged to tell stories of life in space, of traditions and customs. Lexa would often ask Clarke to talk and would stare at her enraptured as she detailed customs on the Ark, how the schools were run, every detail of life in the sky. She spent a long time grilling Clarke over the marriage traditions, and had much to say on them. In turn the Sky People found confidence to ask their own questions, to ask about the significance of the hair styles, the tattoos, the Grounder hierarchy. Bellamy compared it to Ancient Greece though it wasn't quite the same.

At night they slept around a fire, beneath the stars, the guards taking shifts. Clarke lay in Lexa's arms, head against her breast.

'Lexa?' Clarke spoke softly, not wishing to alert anyone else to their conversation. The others were near enough to overhear.

'Sha?'

'You asked me to braid your hair,' Clarke leant on her left arm to look at Lexa's eyes glinting in the moonlight. Her right arm, newly freed from its sling was wrapped around Lexa's waist.

'Yes.'

'When it is considered intimate for one person to do another's hair?'

'It is only considered intimate when you do it for a warrior before they go to battle. It is like a good luck talisman.'

'You were going into battle,' Clarke pointed out.

'Yes,' Lexa's eyes fluttered, a tell of her embarrassment.

'Indra said it was about showing you trusted me?'

'It was. It was about loving you too. I missed how things were before Mount Weather. I wanted that closeness.'

'How long have you liked me for?'

'I have loved you since before we went to war the first time. I nearly kissed you. When you said we deserved more than survival.'

'Why didn't you?'

'I wasn't sure you were ready. I thought that maybe...maybe you felt something...but Finn had been so recent.'

'I would have kissed you back,' Clarke answered honestly. 'But I wouldn't have been ready.'

'I regretted it up until the moment when I betrayed you. I think the betrayal may have been worse if you had known the true extent of my feelings. You may have even thought I was messing with you.'

'You've felt for me for that long?' Clarke raised her eyebrows raising her almost useless hand to brush a thumb over Lexa's cheek.

'That is why it was so hard to leave you. You were in my heart and I had to follow my head. I wished so often that I could have stayed with you...'

'Life is easier if we don't focus on wishes but on what is,' Clarke teased softly, brushing Lexa's hair from her face, a smile lightening the charged conversation,

'But I very much wish to love you,' Lexa flirted as she put her hand on Clarke's and slid them together down her body, until Clarke's hand covered her breast, then she squeezed Clarke's hand with hers.

'I thought I said you didn't need to ask?' Clarke leaned closer and kissed her, rolling her body onto Lexa's under the furs.

'We are surrounded by others,' Lexa murmured into their kisses.

'Then how about you take me for a romantic walk to show me the stars?' Clarke asked brightly.

'You want a walk?' Lexa frowned clearly wondering if she had miscommunicated her wishes.

'Yes, away from others so we can do as we wish without eyes or ears on us.'

'Ah,' Lexa smiled widely and Clarke's heart clenched - Lexa was always beautiful but when she smiled it warmed her everywhere. 'Let's go,' she stood abruptly, dragging Clarke with her.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX 

Polis was everything and nothing like Clarke imagined. It was a thriving city - too big to be called a village but not big enough to rival the towns of the past - or so her lessons from the Ark would have her believe. There were no tall buildings left - at least not in Polis and it seemed to be a mix of old architecture and not shacks exactly, but wooden structures. The roads weren't paved but they were cleared, and a bustling market seemed to sell the things people didn't manage to get for themselves. The people were chanting Heda, or else bowing down, and there were a few gasps as people pointed her out. She realized that in all the conversations she and Lexa had shared, she hadn't really found out much about how things were done for the people. For instance those that couldn't care for themselves. Was there access to medicine? Were there schools? She turned to Lexa about to spew forth some of her questions but Lexa had an amused smile on her face.

'Ask me later Clarke. The people have noticed you,' Lexa gave her a nod of encouragement but instead of the Skaiprisa she had gotten used to, there were whispered gasps of 'Ogedauf.' They didn't look thrilled to see her, like they did Lexa. They looked awed which she hated. Heads bowed and people stared, stunned, falling silent and whispering the word she loathed. Her eyes turned to Lexa and she stared at her for a moment before reaching across and holding out her hand. Lexa stared at it. It was a very public declaration of unity and for a second Lexa hesitated, calculating the potential danger it might put Clarke in. Then she reached across and slipped her hand into Clarke's. The Skaiprisa smiled at her, a bright, brilliant smile which made the small amount of risk worth it.

'Where to?'

'My home. We meet with the leaders there to ask for the joining. They will discuss the challenge as well. It is unavoidable I'm afraid.'

'Ok ' Clarke nodded. Your home is the big ass building up ahead?'

'A small section of it, yes,' Lexa laughed. 'There are meeting rooms and also guest rooms. You will stay with me, yes?'

'Yes,' Clarke nodded. 'It will make it easier should you wish to love me,' she teased, delighted with the warm flush on Lexa's cheeks.

'Good,' Lexa stared ahead, the pink colour staying obstinately in her cheeks, her hand still holding Clarke's.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX 

'You said you didn't favour her?' Mantu bellowed. Clarke was learning that bellow was his only volume. Lexa sighed loudly,

'As you know there was much trickery going on at that time. I needed Nia to believe I had betrayed Clarke, which she did. You were there when she went to Clarke.'

'So the rumours were true Commander?' Luna asked in a softer tone.

'Yes. I am in love with her and she is in love with me,' Lexa was unable to stop herself glancing at Clarke who was stood with Bellamy and Indra. 'I most definitely favour her.'

'And her actions at the mountain. You knew of them?' it was another leader Clarke had interacted little with, a pretty woman with a fierce expression named Jona.

'I did not. Clarke is an amazing leader. You all know this which is why I have been challenged,' there were nods and Clarke scowled, 'she did what was right for her people because she wanted to be sure our people were trustworthy.'

'You love her but do not trust her?' Jona arched a sculpted eyebrow at Clarke, who huffed indignantly.

'War is not a time for affairs of the heart to dictate how we act. Politically I had to be certain that those weapons would not be used, for the sake of everyone. I had been betrayed by my people, Lexa betrayed me to trick Nia, and Nia was trying to ensure I betrayed the coalition. I decided to follow the agenda of my people. I tested you all and I'm not sorry because it was politics and war, both of which lack clarity and require certainty. When there is no certainty we check,' Clarke growled and Jona nodded, they all nodded, but Jona's eyes appraised her with a keener interest, an interest that had Lexa's eyes hardening.

'Is this request true?' Luna turned to Indra who glowered at the assembled leaders.

'It is an insult that you do not trust your Commander.'

'You should know that it is customary for people to speak on behalf of those who have requested they be joined,' a leader Clarke couldn't remember the name of chastised Indra.

'The request is true. The commander has always done what is best for her people, including leaving the Skaiprisa behind at Mount Weather - a sacrifice she made. She is an excellent leader and she is most definitely and sincerely in love with the Skaiprisa. I believe the Commander will always do as is required for her people, but the Sky people are her people now, and the Skaiprisa is hers. The commander would sacrifice her happiness for that of Clarke, she would sacrifice her needs for those of Clarke. She will be a true and faithful houmon, and they will be stronger for embracing the others weaknesses.'

'How do you know this?' Jona again.

'She has spoken of her to me and she speaks with affection, with love. Her actions speak of her desire to bring happiness to Clarke, to care for her. She also looks at her a lot.'

'She is beautiful. Most of us look at pretty things,' Jona gave a cold laugh.

'Not as much as the Commander stares at Clarke. She has sought to protect her, giving her personal guards. She allowed the girl free access to her tent, and the freedom to speak her thoughts. She talks about her a lot and concerns herself with the girls wellbeing and thoughts. She asked the Skaiprisa to braid her hair before battle and Clarke did so. She is jealous when others show interest, which is why she glares at you right now,' Indra pointed out to Jona whom Lexa was glaring at. 'They are not quiet when they are intimate so I know that they are - frequently.'

'Ok,' Luna nodded approvingly. 'And Bellamy, what say you?'

'Do I uh, think their love is real?'

'Sha?'

'Yes, absolutely. Clarke isn't terribly vocal about how she feels but she can't hide it either. She can't stop kissing her, or touching her. It's kinda in your face, but it's nice so no one cares. The Commander, she's not subtle at all,' he shifted uncomfortably as Lexa's whipped around and her vicious gaze landed on him. 'Sorry,' he bit his lip but then burst out, 'she's always staring at Clarke. I mean it's obvious. We all knew it and yeah, ok so the situation was a mess, but the tension, the fact that they were obsessed and in love with each other - yeah that was obvious.'

'You are certain?' Mantu yelled.

'That Clarke loves the Commander?' Bellamy frowned, 'yeah. I mean look at her now, she's staring at her and she's holding out her hand all subconsciously for Lexa to take. They're always together, and like Indra said...they're not as quiet as they think they are. Clarke has told me that she would sacrifice herself for Lexa. She has also spoken of how their weaknesses become strengths when they are together.'

'Hmmm,' Luna stared at them and Clarke actually took a shuffling step towards Lexa and took her hand. 'There is a challenge against the Commander.'

'Not one that I made,' Clarke pointed out.

'And as you know that has no relevance on the request to be joined,' Lexa scowled. 'We asked you here to approve this. Do you doubt the truth of our feelings?'

Lexa stared at the assembled leaders who all, including Jona, shook their heads.

'Then you have no right to refuse our request. I love her. I want to be with her. She wants to be with me. She can be mine and I can be hers. No one doubts we speak the truth therefore you cannot deny it.'

'We can urge you caution Commander,' Luna stated gently. 'While the challenge can have no bearing on this decision you know that it does.'

'It may complicate matters for you but that is not my concern. The girl I love wants to be joined with me, and I am unable to understand why you are not approving it.'

'Because there has been a challenge,' Jona stated pointedly and another murmured,

'Ogedauf.' The whispered phrase made Clarke's blood boil.

'Bellamy and Indra have borne witness to the truth of our feelings. I have declared myself and Lexa has declared herself. We are just Clarke and Lexa in this room today. She may be your commander and I may be a Sky girl but today we are just individuals requesting to be joined.'

'You can not separate from who you are Clarke,' Luna said and it irked Clarke because it sounded like something Lexa would say.

'I'm not, but you seem unable to separate our request to join from the challenge you all made. A joining request is supposed to be considered irregardless of other charges. That is what Lexa told me.'

'It is true, but you are not two normal people.'

'Today we are,' Clarke growled. 'You have no right to deny us this just because she happens to be the Commander and you have some entirely false image of me as some God. Today you must listen to the truth and you must honour it.'

'Grant them the joining,' Mantu shrugged. 'It changes nothing.'

'For us, it changes everything,' Clarke pointed out and Lexa squeezed her hand.

'I agree,' Luna nodded and soon the others were all nodding until Indra looked to Bellamy and he nodded his agreement.

Then Luna began to speak in rapid Trigedasleng, Clarke only able to understand the odd word. She said their names and the word for love and joined. As she spoke the others bowed their heads respectfully, except for Lexa who seemed to raise her head higher with pride, eyes fixed on Clarke's.

'Sha,' she responded, and at length Luna was saying Clarke's name, and as Lexa had told her she nodded,

'Sha,' she agreed and a huge smile broke across Lexa's face as Luna continued to speak. When she stopped Lexa pushed a hand gently into Clarke's hair and kissed her. Clarke found herself laughing as she kissed her back, arms looped around her neck, face flushed. 'It is done?'

'Yes,' Lexa's hands moved to grip her hips. 'You are my houmon and I am yours.'

'I like being yours,' Clarke stared into green grey eyes. 'What now?'

'I don't know about you but I wish...'

'To love me?' Clarke asked with an amused smile.

'Hmmm, yes...' Lexa's eyes grew darker as her gaze dropped once more to Clarke's lips. 'Yes, first, I wish to do that.'

'Was there something else Lex?' Clarke moved closer although it was impossible to be as close as she wanted.

'Tats.'

'Huh?'

'To declare to the world that I am yours and you are mine. Indra,' Lexa spoke but didn't lift her gaze from Clarke's lips, 'suggested something obvious, so all will know we belong to each other,' Lexa paused, brushing a thumb across Clarke's cheek. 'I am torn.'

'Torn how?'

'I wish to protect you and as you know those who are mine have been targeted. And yet I wish the world to know that we are joined.'

'I can protect myself Lexa,' Clarke pointed out, 'and I think given everything going on it would be wise to go with the more obvious mark.'

'Indra said our inner wrist so that when we fight others will know someone will seek vengeance for our death.'

'Yes,' Clarke nodded. 'But first...you and I alone...'

'Mmm, sha,' Lexa slipped her hand into Clarke's. Lexa spoke to Indra who gave an obvious smirk and nodded, as Lexa dragged Clarke from the meeting room and through the building to her private quarters. No sooner was the door slammed than Clarke was pressed against it, a strong thigh slipping between her legs as Lexa claimed her mouth, tongues entangling and causing Clarke's heart to beat at an insanely fast pace. Clarke knew, rationally, that there would come a time when she was so accustomed to Lexa's body that pace of her heart would not be quite so intense, but she couldn't imagine ever taking the Commander for granted. She was too intense, too beautiful, too intriguing. The hard exterior compared with the soft warmth she exposed to Clarke made the Skaiprisa giddy. The commander made her eyes starry and it was a bone deep obsession she had with everything about her, with being close to her, with loving her as thoroughly as possible. Lexa wore her infatuation in her eyes and it did funny things to Clarke. Lexa's obvious adoration, her blatant disbelief and shock that she actually had the person she loved and wanted, was adorable. Adorable had not been a word she'd ever thought she would associate with the Commander, but it was an absolute truth. Not that Lexa was trying to be adorable with her grasping hands and well placed thigh. Lexa could turn her to mush in seconds and Clarke loved it, but not as much as she loved turning Lexa to mush.

'I want to taste you,' she growled into the kiss and physically felt the groan that rumbled through the other girl.

'But I wish to love you.'

'And you can, after I've loved you,' Clarke wasn't nearly as weak as she had been and she finally had two arms which she used to swing the other girl against the door before dropping to her knees, effectively ensuring her dominance - Lexa was weak when it came to Clarke on her knees before her, staring up at her with lust darkened blue eyes. Clarke's hands found the button of her pants and she was about to undo them when Lexa swallowed hard, face tight as she moved her hands to stop her.

'Lexa?'

'I want that,' Lexa's chest was heaving, 'I really, really want that. Jok,' she swore under her breath. 'But I want it to feel good for us both at the same time,' she gave a small shrug, exposing some of the gooeyness that Clarke loved so much. 'I want you naked in my arms, and to touch you as you touch me. Beja?'

Clarke decided to respond by peeling off her clothes, watching Lexa's eyes follow every action before stalking to her bed and falling back onto it with a smile and wide open arms. Lexa was in them in a second, not wasting precious time with naked Clarke to remove her own clothes, just eagerly palming her breasts, hands tracing soft skin as her lips devoured the girl beneath her. Clarke laughed,

'Take your clothes off Lex,' she pushed at the coat and the sash and the fucking armour that Lexa had insisted she wear to their joining. Clarke couldn't complain because she was extremely attracted to Lexa in her full Commander gear but for what she wanted, Lexa needed to be going commando.

'No, I want to kiss,' Lexa obstinately sucked a nipple into her mouth, hips bucking against Clarke, thigh wedged between Clarke's bare legs.

'Lex, you said together,' Clarke protested shoving at her clothes ineffectually.

'Changed my mind,' Lexa shifted down Clarke's body.

'Hey,' Clarke ordered, 'clothes off - now.' Lexa's steely eyes looked up from where she was settling herself between Clarke's legs and the Skaiprisa swallowed down sudden nerves at the expression on her face, which was determined and frankly a little scary. For a second Clarke faltered but then Lexa pressed her mouth against the warmth between her legs and she forgot fear to throw her head back and moan. She would have sworn she felt Lexa smile against her, if swearing had been something she was capable of, which it wasn't, not when Lexa's incredibly skilled mouth was between her legs, fingers smoothing over her inner thigh before dipping inside of her which resulted in a moan from both of them. 'Lexa,' Clarke moaned the girls name as her body began to tighten a short while later as Lexa's fingers thrusted and her mouth worked magic. 'Please. I want you naked. Please,' she knew her begging was pathetic, especially with her hands tangled in her wife's dark hair holding her face where it was, but she desperately wanted Lexa's smooth skin against hers, preferably a breast against her face, and her fingers able to dip into warmth, to bring Lexa crashing with her.

All at once Lexa was gone from her position and through hazy eyes Clarke watched her throw off her armour and clothes, until her warm skin was sliding against Clarke's, her mouth finding hers, the softness of her chest pressing against Clarke's and it was perfect. The feel of her was perfect as their bodies slotted intimately against one another, Lexa between her thighs, her legs wrapped around her wife to urge the feeling of heat against heat, a sensation that immediately returned Clarke to the pinnacle she'd been at only moments before.

'Fuck,' she hissed, hands clasping at the Commander, rubbing, touching, hoping that she was as far gone, because Clarke knew it wouldn't take her long.

'Clarke,' Lexa's tell tale moan of her name, hips pressing against her, the heat and wetness between them building as Lexa moved harder and faster,

'Oh god, please come,' Clarke begged as her world became centred around that one spot where they were touching before everything rippled out. Clarke allowed the feeling to consume her for a moment, but it was still ripping through her when she rolled them, hand sliding down Lexa, fingers pushing into her, palm against her clit as she curled her fingers and moved them hard and fast, matching her wife's pants, matching the thrust of her hips, until Lexa came chanting her name as a mantra. Clarke collapsed back on the bed and within a second Lexa was curled into her, face against her left breast, hand on her right. Lexa slept in this position and Clarke found it utterly endearing.

'Ai hod yu in,' Lexa whispered, nuzzling against soft flesh.

'Ai hod yu in,' Clarke agreed and for a few minutes they dozed together.

'You're mine,' Lexa murmured at length and Clarke smiled,

'And you are mine.'

'Yes,' Lexa pressed a soft kiss against her breast. 'But I will protect you. They will not make me hurt you.'

'They won't make me hurt you either you know,' Clarke sighed and then threaded her fingers through Lexa's dark curls.

'You know I turned eighteen ten days after Mount Weather? The first time.'

'Is eighteen significant?'

'On the Ark it was when we became adults. If I hadn't come to earth it is when I would have died.'

'And yet you are alive,' Lexa gazed at her with utter adoration.

'And in your arms.'

'Ai houmon,' Lexa smiled shyly.

'Yes. If my dad hadn't discovered what he did I would be dead in space,' Clarke mused.

'And yet you are here naked in my arms,' Lexa seemed to be having trouble grasping this fact and so held Clarke tight. They enjoyed a few more minutes of silence before Lexa broke it, 'it is strange that you do not believe you are special.'

'I'm not,' Clarke shrugged.

'Does it not strike you as odd that you lie here in my arms, joined with me?'

'Wonderful yes. Odd no.'

'But it should. You were my enemy. You fell from the sky, you burned villages, you killed three hundred of my warriors in a ring of fire. You and your people were the enemy of me and mine, and yet...not only did you persuade me to form an alliance once, but twice. Thanks to you my people were saved from the mountain, and then the threat of the mountain was removed forever. You went from the enemy of my people to the girl who lies in my arms at night, to the girl who I love more than anything in the world. I am amazed and awed by you and cannot understand why you doubt the power you hold.'

'Because I'm not a god and believing that those who are human have godly abilities leads to the most severe of disappointments,' Clarke slid down the bed so she and Lexa lay face to face, their limbs still entwined.

'May I think of you as my goddess?' Lexa asked with a small smile.

'You may, but only if you promise that when we stand before the coalition in two days time you tell them I'm a powerful leader but not a god.'

'You are a goddess when you lie between my furs and between my legs.'

'As are you ai Heda,' Clarke gave a lazy smile and Lexa blushed.

'I will not betray you again Clarke. We are joined and that means that you can always trust me to work for us.'

'Together?' Clarke clarified and instead of smiling like she expected, Lexa slid a hand around the back of her neck and pressed her forehead against her wife's.

'Yes, together, always.'

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX 

'So you're married?' Raven stared at her.

'To the Commander,' Bellamy smirked.

'Makes you seem old,' Octavia teased, grabbing her hand and staring at the intricate tattoo on Clarke's wrist, all swirling black lines. 'This symbolizes the fact that you're joined?'

'Yeah, and to Lexa - see, here...' she pointed to lines that the more Octavia stared at, the more she could see Lexa's name.

'It's pretty,' she smiled.

'And permanent,' from Raven.

'It's forever,' Clarke shrugged, face warming at the thought of a lifetime with Lexa.

'Which isn't long if you're on earth,' Bellamy pointed out and Clarke glared at him.

'Not helpful considering the challenge.'

'So you face your...your wife? In a challenge to the death?' Octavia clarified. 'That seems cruel.'

'Well yeah, that's kind of the point of getting joined now rather than waiting a bit.'

'So you wouldn't have done this if...' Raven began but Clarke shook her head,

'I would have. Absolutely. I love her.'

'Clearly,' Raven smiled widely.

'So there's more to your plan than this, right?' Octavia was pacing.

'Uh, yeah,' Clarke took her wrist away from her friends and pulled her sleeve down.

'Sound more certain why don't ya, Clarke,' Octavia fixed her with a look.

'Look, who knows what will happen. Lexa is the commander and half the Grounders think I'm a god and yet they can still somehow order us to fight. We won't surrender but we won't fight either. That's the plan.'

'Sucky plan princess,' Bellamy narrowed his eyes.

'So what you're just gonna stand there and kiss?' Raven gaped.

'Yeah, I guess,' Clarke shrugged.

'That's not a plan,' Bellamy huffed.

'I have a few choice words up my sleeve,' Clarke sighed.

'Yeah, I'm sure you do,' Raven agreed.

'There's only so much we can plan when we don't know their reactions, when we don't know their agenda and any wrong move can mean death for either one of us, or both of us. It'll play out the way it plays out.'

'Still not a plan.'

'Don't diss my plan. I'm Ogedauf,' Clarke glowered and Raven laughed at the expression on both Blake's faces. 'We can only do our best to stay alive.'


	16. 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took me so long to post. Final chapter and everything. Thanks to those who have read and commented and I hope you like how it resolves!
> 
> Tabxx

So here it is - the end! Thank you so much for the follows, favourites and reviews that have kept me writing this - I really have loved knowing that people are enjoying it. I hope you like how it ends!

I love to know what you think - especially when it's the final chapter of a fic, it's so, so nice to know if people liked how you wrapped it up, so please let me know:-) if you're going to review any chapter this is the one! Thanks to the regular people;-)

Tabxx

Chapter Sixteen

'You know I'm suddenly a little nervous about this plan,' Clarke whispered under her breath, staring at the seated clan leaders as she and Lexa stood side by side in the fighting ring which was surrounded on all sides by the people of Polis. A rack of weapons was right in front of them and it was disconcerting to say the least.

'What?' Lexa's head flicked to hers with such speed Clarke was surprised she didn't pull something.

'Way to act chilled,' Clarke rolled her eyes.

'My only priority is to protect you.'

'Ditto.'

'Clarke I speak two languages and sometimes I understand nothing you say,' Lexa huffed.

'It means the same. I have the same priority - to protect you.'

'Then why did you not just say...'

'I did,' Clarke knew the bickering was down to stress. It was one thing to form a plan when lying naked in her lovers arms, it was another thing entirely to be faced with hollering Grounders and the sullen faces of the thirteen clan leaders. The new Azgeda leader was pretty, young and calm looking. Clarke was pretty certain Lexa genuinely hadn't noticed quite how pretty she was. Bellamy was sat in the Sky People chair as her in situ representative, his face reflecting the seriousness of the situation. Indra filled the Trikru chair for Lexa and as was typical her face held fury.

It seemed Jona was to lead the proceedings, as she stood to take her place at some sort of pulpit. If Clarke was uncomfortable with the way Jona stared at her, and she was staring at her intently, there was no mistaking how furious it made Lexa, who barely concealed how she seethed. As Jona stood Clarke slowly and very deliberately rolled up her sleeves, the action catching Lexa's attention. This wasn't something they'd planned and so it took the Commander a second to catch on, but after a second she discarded her armour piece by piece under the curious stares of the coalition and the noisy crowd filling the stands. When at last she was stood in a belted tunic and pants, sword at her side but armour scattered around her, she too rolled up her sleeves. It took a while for people to notice what was on their wrists but when they did the hollering died down and hushed whispers took over. Clarke could sense the staring, the pointing and the rise in volume that questions created. After several moments of standing surrounded by tech volatile crowd, she slipped her left hand into Lexa's right making their tattoos even more visible, and their meaning all the more obvious.

There was a collective gasp, or whatever you call it when a group of onlookers express astonishment at an unexpected turn of events, and the noise, the gasp progressed into something Clarke didn't recognize. There was something that might have been a chant, or a determined scream of some kind and it steadily increased in volume as she and Lexa stood hand in hand. The clan leaders stared at them, expressions on their faces that ranged from furious to amused. Whatever the expressions and whatever that noise was that was still garnering fuel, Clarke focussed on Lexa, on the feel of her palm against hers, on the slight sting that still came from the tattoo that marked her as Lexa's. The noise continued to build and Clarke saw the slightest, minuscule flinch in Jona's expression and so she turned to Lexa, pulled her close and kissed her. It hadn't actually been their plan, despite what she'd said to her friends to lighten the mood, but with the supportive noise of the crowd and the faces of those that would have her fight her wife, it didn't seem like such a bad idea.

Lexa may not have understood why Clarke was behaving as she was but she returned the kiss enthusiastically, lovingly, and with exquisite tenderness. Everything faded but the feeling of Lexa's lips on hers, of one hand gripping hers and the other wrapping around the back of her neck, of Lexa's body stepping closer. Clarke slowed the kiss, her own hand cupping Lexa's beautiful strong jaw. It was hard to think over the noise of the people, to think of what was next, because Lexa was stood there - stripped of armour, vulnerable and exposed in front of all those she led, and all for Clarke. Clarke had intended to turn to the coalition leaders, to say something but the noise from others was too loud and so she kissed Lexa again, a harder, headier kiss than the first, one that elicited a moan from her wife's throat. There were too many people around to keep kissing in that way and so Clarke pulled back, turned back to face the coalition leaders, caught Bellamy's eyes and gave the tiniest, most defiant shrug she could manage at his barely concealed amusement.

Clarke watched Jona try to speak, to be heard over the bellowing from the assembled people but they didn't stop and she couldn't be heard. Without a word, or even looking away from Clarke, Lexa raised left hand and within seconds the crowd was silent. Clarke felt the corner of her mouth twitch as Jona's expression hardened just slightly.

'There has been a challenge made,' Jona yelled and it occurred to Clarke that Mantu and his bellowing might be more effective. 'Against Lexa kom Trikru, Commander and leader of the coalition.'

Clarke smirked at the chanting of "Heda" that began amongst the assembled masses. Many more people than Lexa had indicated still supported their commander. Clarke wasn't surprised that Lexa may have quirked that fact, because the one thing Clarke knew for sure was that Lexa loved her. Teeth clamping on her bottom lip for a second as she bit back a smile, Lexa held up her hand again and the crowd fell silent.

'Your position as Commander has been challenged and you must fight for the right to retain it. Many believe that Klark kom Skaikru is stronger than you,' Clarke bit back her surprise at the chanting of Skaiprisa, softer than Lexa's support, but there none the less, and persistent even after several long moments. Jona scowled in irritation before continuing over the chanting Lexa didn't attempt to stop. 'People believe Klark has powers stronger than the spirits in you Commander. That she is a spirit,' the chanting became so loud Lexa was forced to raise her hand so Jona could continue, 'Klark kom Skaikru will fight you to be the rightful Commander and leader of the coalition, to prove that she is Ogedauf. Do you have anything to say before battle commences?' Jona waited expectantly and without any prompting the crowd fell silent.

'I do,' Clarke strode forward, releasing Lexa's hand reluctantly, her complete disregard for the proceedings obvious. 'I have a question actually. Why do you believe I am Ogedauf?' She kept her voice loud and clear, her head held high.

'You fell from the sky?' Jona asked, her awe and total belief palpable in the air.

'Yes...'

'You killed three hundred of the Commanders warriors?'

'Yes...'

'In a ring of fire?'

'Yes...'

'You escaped Mount Weather?'

'I did...'

'You turned a reaper back?'

'Yes.'

'You formed an alliance?'

'Yes...'

'You then took Mount Weather alone, killing all the Maunon?'

'Yes...'

'You then declared war on your own people to save us, all of us from annihilation?'

'Yes...'

'You exposed treachery in the clans?'

'And proved the Commander's integrity.'

'You are the person we believe to be Ogedauf. Look at all you have done,' Jona stared at her.

'Is it just the coalition leaders who believe this?' Clarke asked and Jona turned to the crowd,

'Klark kom Skaikru asks if it is just the coalition leaders who believe she is a spirit, that she is Ogedauf,' Jona managed a bellow to rival Mantu's and the crowd responded with a chant of Ogedauf that even though it did not roll off the tongue as well as Heda, was louder, overpowering even.

'Well there are two possible truths,' Clarke yelled and when she spoke the crowd fell silent.

'First, let's argue you're all wrong - because I fell from the sky, but I fell with one hundred other kids. And it may have been my idea to fight the warriors coming to kill us with a ring of fire but it wasn't me who made it happen, and I didn't do it alone. I may have escaped Mount Weather but I did so with Anya kom Trikru who trained Lexa. I may have formed an alliance, but Lexa formed an alliance with me and we planned that attack on Mount Weather together. Yes, she left after she freed her people from that mountain, but maybe I didn't get in there because I was Ogedauf - my best friend Bellamy opened the door,' Clarke pointed at Bellamy, 'that guy there. Maybe I told him to go inside the mountain but getting in there was all him. My other friend, he made it so pulling a lever irradiated the mountain, not me. And Bellamy and I pulled that lever together. Maybe I did declare war on my people, but I did so with over a hundred of my people. We strategized together, particularly Bellamy and I, talking with Lexa, then Miller, Octavia and Raven, Monty too. So even though it may have all been me maybe it wasn't. Maybe winning the war wasn't all me. Maybe I just stepped it up a notch at the end, after Lexa discovered Nia's plan to control the clans. Maybe I just helped out.'

'So you are disputing your power?' Jona frowned, everyone silent. 'You are saying we are wrong and you are nothing more than a girl?

'I'm saying it's a possibility. But it's just one possibility. There is another,' Clarke's expression darkened along with her tone. There was complete silence.

'Then tell it,' Jona ordered.

'I fell from the sky after a year in total isolation. I led my people. I avoided death repeatedly and saved others. I turned reapers back into the men they once were. I planned and executed a ring of fire to kill those who would kill me and my people. It was me that escaped from Mount Weather and I brought Anya with me for Lexa. Then, despite Anya's death I made Lexa listen, made them all believe we could save our people and we did. Not many died. In a battle against the Mountain, all the Maunon died and very few of our people. I planned how my best friend would enter the mountain, how he would communicate and what he would achieve. It was my decision to irradiate the mountain and I executed the plan. I pulled the lever. It was me. I killed them all. I killed the president. I bring death to those who would kill for no reason. And yes, when people plan something despicable I end them. My mother would kill you all and she is dead. Nia who sought to kill thousands, she is dead. I tested the Commander and she was proven worthy. Those that were not worthy are dead. I have been on earth for less than a year and I have killed hundreds, but their hearts were not true. Their spirits were bad. Their decisions caused damage.'

'So you are Ogedauf?' Jona looked thrilled, vindicated.

'It is not for me to make claims,' Clarke said with a shrug and a widening of her eyes, just the hint of insinuation that Jona was indeed correct.

'Who believes she is Ogedauf? Jona turned to the crowd and the chanting came louder than ever. 'You will fight to be the true Commander,' Jona yelled above the crowd.

'I will not fight,' Clarke held her head high, the crowd once again falling silent as she spoke,

'Are you surrendering?' Jona asked in surprise and several of the clan leaders turned to stare at Jona, then flicked their gazes to Clarke.

'No, but I'm not fighting either. Lexa is my houmon. I love her. We have been through a lot and we are stronger together.'

'We will see if your houmon feels the same,' Jona looked at Lexa, who merely stepped forward and took Clarke's hand.

'I am Lexa kom Trikru, Commander and leader of the coalition,' Lexa stated, and she didn't raise her voice but it carried none the less. 'I am Clarke's houmon and she is mine. You expect me to kill her?' she arched a perfect brow.

'The challenge was made before you were joined,' Jona spoke firmly. 'Therefore the challenge stands. You are the Commander and as you have witnessed we believe she is Ogedauf. You have also confided that you believe this to be true.'

'And who made the challenge?' Lexa asked calmly, unperturbed.

'The coalition,' Jona rolled her eyes, as derisive with Lexa as she had been in awe of Clarke. 'As you know.'

'The same coalition who joined Clarke and I together?'

'Again, as you know,' Jona did not hide her frustration with Lexa.

'So you joined me to the girl you now expect me to kill, or to kill me?'

'This challenge stands irregardless of your joining.'

'Maybe, but my wife has not hurt me. She has not betrayed me. She has not been with another. We have not even argued. We love each other. We have sacrificed for our people and we have sacrificed for each other. I am the Commander and she is the Skaiprisa. We have led our people individually and we have begun to lead them together.'

'That is not relevant.'

'Tell me how the Commander is chosen?' Lexa asked and Jona frowned. At length Luna stood beside Jona,

'The spirits of the past Commander finds the person who is worthy to be the next.'

'Spirits chose me, sha?' Lexa asked and Luna bowed her head just slightly as she nodded. Even Jona nodded her agreement.

'You seek to release my spirit in the belief it will find Clarke, sha?'

'Yes.'

'My question for you is this: If I was chosen by the spirits and Clarke is a spirit, is Ogedauf, and she has also chosen me,' Lexa raised their joined hands to display their tattoos, 'how can your argument for a fight hold any validity?' Lexa spoke the line beautifully. It was Clarke's creation but she had begged Lexa to deliver it.

'I am Ogedauf and my houmon is correct,' Clarke threaded her fingers through Lexa's, even though their joined hands were still in the air. 'I am Ogedauf, the spirit you call a god, and I choose the girl the spirits have already chosen. Why would you expect me to slay her? I will not bow down before her, but she will not bow down before me. So answer me this. Would you ask Ogedauf to kill the girl she and all the spirits choose? We chose her. Or would you want that girl to kill me, a spirit sent from the sky to lead,not give you strength? To kill an all powerful spirit who has chosen to join with her? Or do you merely ask the Commander to kill her houmon? And what then? What of your beliefs in joinings? What about her duty to seek vengeance on those that forced her hand? Who will she slay then?' Clarke gestured towards the assembled coalition.

There was silence, only Bellamy and Indra bit back pride, the others seemed taken aback, stunned and some even appeared convinced, Luna, amongst others, nodding,

'So what do you propose if you believe a fight to be wrong?' she asked.

'We rule together,' Lexa stated. 'We are stronger together. Better able to defeat our enemies - as we have proven. We have saved our people, we have gotten rid of threats endured for nearly one hundred years. My people respect Clarke. They trust her and her judgement.'

'My people follow Lexa. My people are Lexa's people.'

'I was chosen by the spirits to lead you. My houmon is a spirit and she also chose me. We are powerful but that power is for our people. We would die for you, bleed for you, we will bear the hard decisions for you. But we will not fight each other for you. There is no sense to this.'

'To kill each other would only bring weakness to our people, to the coalition.'

'If you were to kill your houmon Commander, you would have her strength, you would command all the power that she does,' Jona stated and Lexa practically roared stepping in front of Clarke and pulling her sword out and holding it defensively.

'My wife will not die here today. Not by my hand and not by the hand of another. She is a gift and she shall be appreciated. We do not need to kill to appreciate the strength, the power, the person gifted to us. Clarke is different. We kill her and we risk losing all she has to offer forever.'

'You want a solution and we've given it to you,' Clarke stepped forward. 'I am Ogedauf, and to kill me would condemn you all. My spirit has chosen Lexa. All spirits choose Lexa, to kill her would bring nothing but death and terror. Let us lead together. Let us protect you. Let us make you all stronger,' at the last Clarke whirled round, her back to Lexa's and spoke to the people of Polis who roared their support. Clarke turned back after several moments and slid her arms around Lexa, pressing her front against the Commanders back. They had nothing further. There was nothing further. The coalition could put weapons in their hands and tell them to fight and they'd stand there and kiss, they could try and kill them but Clarke didn't think they'd do that because that would defy tradition and it would most certainly anger the people. Clarke squeezed Lexa tighter, face pressed to her back as the people roared ever louder. Clarke couldn't see but she felt Lexa dig her sword into the earth in front of her, heard the crowds approval and then she felt her wife's hands ghost over hers. After a good couple of minutes of such loud noise Clarke honestly feared for her ear drums, Lexa raised a hand and the people fell silent.

'We await your decision, but know that there will be no fight between Clarke and I. If we die, it will be a death by your hands and I do not imagine the people will be pleased. I suggest you decide quickly,' Lexa arched her brows theatrically before tugging Clarke from behind her and to her side, so the sword stood in the ground before them both. Lexa didn't take her hand, but placed her arm around her, holding her into her side, physically showing that she would not allow her wife to be harmed.

'I love you Lex,' Clarke told her softly and Lexa gave her a look, just the hint of a quirk around her lips.

'Ai hod yu in ai Prisa,' she stated with just the slightest widening of her eyes, something that caused Clarke's stomach to flop over with a desperation - a desperation to hold Lexa close, to have this situation be over, to have the rest of their lives to spend mornings and nights lying in bed together, days talking. Clarke knew she loved Lexa, knew it in her bones no matter how slowly the realization had crept up on her, it was real and like a living tangible thing. She loved her.

Jona stood at the podium again but this time she didn't stare at Clarke, her eyes were lowered respectfully.

'The challenge is withdrawn,' she announced. 'The coalition leaders approve your leadership Commander, and provided our safety and strength remain in tact we wish to benefit from the protection of Ogedauf, your houmon.'

'That is acceptable,' Lexa replied, a little haughtily in Clarke's opinion, but that was part of Lexa, and part of how she demanded respect. Accordingly thirteen heads bowed in respect, and as one the heads of every man, woman and child in the crowd also lowered. 'My houmon, she objects to our word choice. She prefers Skaiheda.'

'Heda, Skaiheda,' Jona nodded, head remaining bowed submissively.

'Thanks,' Clarke bit back a smile, loving the feel of Lexa's hand slotting into hers before she raised them both up and the crowd erupted. Clarke couldn't hold back a smile because it was finally over and she might actually get the life time she was so desperate for. Bellamy caught her eye and winked, then Indra gave her a rare smile, before Lexa grabbed her sword and placed it back at her waist, and tugged Clarke towards the people.

'Let them meet you,' she said. 'Let me show them the girl I love.'

'Sha,' she squeezed the hand in hers and followed Lexa into the throng of people.

'Lexa,' Clarke combed her hand through the dark hair that was half covering her breast. Lexa was lying in her favourite position, face pressed up against the soft skin of Clarke's left breast, hand resting on the right. Now that her arm was better Clarke tended to curl onto her side a little more, curl around her wife.

'Mmm,' Lexa seemed unwilling to relinquish her pillow and merely nuzzled closer.

'I want to talk,' Clarke urged trailing a finger over Lexa's back tattoo, following swirls and marvelling at the beauty.

'Then you shouldn't have exhausted me so much,' Lexa mumbled, soft skin against her mouth.

'I exhausted you? I did all the work at least twice,' Clarke defended with a smile, wriggling down the bed so her face was next to Lexa's, ignoring the huff.

'As did I,' Lexa smiled into a kiss she placed on Clarke's lips.

'And it was great,' Clarke rolled on top of her wife and smiled down at her amid a shower of blond hair.

'Hmm, it was,' Lexa's hands trailed down Clarke's spine and over the curve of her ass, clearly anticipating more love coming her way.

'I want to talk about living here,' Clarke smirked at Lexa's pout.

'What about it. You live here with me. You are my houmon and you should be in my home and in my bed...in me.'

'Lexa,' Clarke rolled her eyes and rolled off of the Commander. Lexa's pout grew,

'Come back,' she trailed a hand down Clarke's side, fingers trailing over her breast which she squeezed needily. 'Beja.'

'I want to talk,' Clarke protested.

'No, you want to love me,' Lexa encouraged, hands tugging Clarke.

'Lexa,' Clarke laughed softly as she allowed herself to be tugged and maneuvered until she was lying between Lexa's thighs. 'I need to see my people Lexa. I've been living here for six months, with you, in your house, in you and I love Polis. I adore it but I miss my people. Bellamy, Raven and Octavia last visited three months ago. I haven't seen Monty or Miller in six months. I even miss TonDC.'

'You want to go?' Lexa's brow furrowed.

'I want us to go. I want to go see them, but I want to go visit the other clans to.'

'There are no problems that need our attention,' Lexa shrugged wrapping her legs around Clarke.

'No, not in the clans anyway,' Clarke couldn't help but smirk at the way Lexa used her feet to rock her. 'I'm pretty sure you have a problem you think needs my attention,' she teased and Lexa smiled,

'But you still wish to visit? TonDC and the clans?'

'I am a leader with you. I need to see where people live, know the different clans and their leaders better than I do.'

'Yes, you do,' Lexa agreed, unsubtly rocking her again.

'And I miss my people.'

'So you keep saying,' her lips found Clarke's neck and she bit the skin softly.

'I do,' Clarke sighed and tilted her head, rocking on her own volition.

'We will go see our people Clarke,' Lexa promised, 'we will see them all. We will spend time in TonDC. As much time as you need. You can go hunt with Bellamy, train with Octavia, make things explode with Raven, meet Miller's boyfriend, talk with Monty. We will do all of that.'

'When?' Clarke smoothed her hands over Lexa's cheeks and rocked against her because her wife's eyes were dark and she was lifting her hips just slightly, and it felt really, really good.

'As soon as we can,' Lexa let out a soft moan, teeth biting into her plump lower lip as Clarke moved with more intent.

'Tomorrow,' Clarke moved again, mouth ghosting across Lexa's cheeks.

'You're manipulating me,' Lexa complained with a gasp of pleasure that entirely underminded her complaint.

'Is it working?' Clarke gave her a brief but heated kiss.

'Hmmm, yes,' Lexa threw back her head as Clarke moved her body, letting one strong thigh slide between her legs as her hand slipped between Lexa's, dipping into warmth and wetness.

'Hey,' Clarke dropped to the log beside Lexa, resting her head against her strong shoulder.

'Was your hunt successful?'

'Yes,' Clarke smiled softly. 'We caught three rabbits which is more than enough until we get to TonDC.'

'We left with more than enough,' Lexa smiled.

'Yes, but Ryder likes to hunt and Peyo has not been training as much as he should since being in Polis. He enjoys the bars.'

'You enjoy the bars with him,' Lexa snorted.

'You like me tipsy.'

'No, you like me when you're tipsy,' Lexa chuckled - still one of Clarke's favourite sounds on all of earth.

'I love you when I'm tipsy - very enthusiastically,' she joked and Lexa's chuckle became a laugh.

'I am quite happy for you to drink with Peyo every night,' she teased with a faint blush.

'Then I'd miss you too much,' Clarke said simply.

'Today we will pass nearby the village where I grew up. It would delay us by a day or two, but would you like to visit it with me?'

'Yes,' Clarke burst out, 'I'd love to,' she took Lexa's hand, removed the knife Lexa was sharpening from it, and threaded their fingers together.

'Clarke, I was shappening that,' Lexa protested weakly.

'There is peace Lexa. We've brought peace to the people. It's not tenuous but strong and getting stronger. We can speak to the clans, we can make sure all is good. You don't need to sharpen your knife.'

'It is my hunting knife,' Lexa pointed out with a roll of her eyes.

'Your wife hunts for you.'

'Does she?'

'Hmm, one rabbit has Heda carved in its side.'

'Poor bunny,' Lexa bit back a smile.

'Poor hungry Heda,' Clarke slide her free hand inside Lexa's open coat.

'You are ridiculous Clarke. I had no idea you would be so silly when we were joined,' Lexa chided but it was clear she approved entirely from the way she turned to her wife, from the softness in her eyes and the tightening of her hold on Clarke's hand.

'I'm only silly for you. When I'm Skaiheda I'm regal and powerful. And you,' Clarke pressed her lips to Lexa's cheek, 'can be just as silly as me.'

'I am never silly,' Lexa stated with true regal haughtiness.

'Hmmm, yeah you are.'

'Name one time,' Lexa challenged and Clarke smiled at that,

'When you do a striptease for me.'

'That is sexy not silly.'

'When you ask to do my hair and make it look crazy.'

'It is not my fault that you cannot appreciate Trikru hair styles.'

'When you talk to my body parts.'

'They're part of you!'

'When you blow raspberries on my belly.'

'It makes you laugh.'

'When you hide, only to jump out and scare the crap out of me.'

'That teaches you caution, to use your senses and to stay safe.'

'When you play games with the children.'

'You play those games to,' Lexa defended.

'And I'm decidedly silly when doing so.'

'If I am silly it is only because you have given me the freedom to be so,' Lexa admitted.

'I love that you're silly,' Clarke released Lexa's hands and moved behind her wrapping her arms around her. 'I am glad that the world is calm so we can breath each other in, so we can play and be silly. I'm glad I can make you laugh.'

'I was unable to laugh for many years,' Lexa admitted, 'it is still not easy.'

'Who is in the village?'

'I have a brother. My mother and father are dead.'

'What is your brothers name? Is he older or younger?'

'Kit is fifteen years old. He asks to fight every time I see him. Now when he asks I can tell him there is no reason to fight,' Lexa smiled, clearly fond of her brother.

'Will you let him train as a warrior?'

'Kit cannot see. He trains to defend himself but he cannot fight.'

'Maybe I can help him.'

'And you still deny that your are Ogedauf,' Lexa teased. 'You think you can give sight to a boy who has never seen and yet tell me you are just a girl who fell from the sky.'

'I'm not just a girl any more.'

'No?'

'I'm your houmon. That makes me someone special. I am the Skaihead. I am the leader of the Sky People. I'm happy.'

'Were you not happy before?'

'The Ark wasn't really a happy place. I had a nice childhood. My parents,' Clarke's throat closed up for a moment, 'they loved me. But it's hard to really remember a time before solitary. What was your childhood like?'

'Violent. Full of fear. The clans were at war and the Azgeda came in the night. They killed my mother and father but I slay them to save my brother. No matter how many came, I defeated them. Not long after I was called to lead.'

'How old were you?'

'Twelve. I was Anya's second. She trained me, but at twelve I became the leader. We fought wars and for the first time signed treaties for peace. Agreed to trade and extended protection. It all grew out of that night.'

'So the Azgeda - they took your family and Costia?'

'Yes,' Lexa answered simply

'Would you tell me about Costia?'

'Yes.'

'Now?' Clarke asked when Lexa remained silent for a minute,

'Costia - she was nothing like you. Not in looks or personality.'

'Ok,' Clarke was surprised at the seed of jealousy.

'I was but a girl Clarke,' Lexa seemed to hear the insecurity and brought Clarke to sit beside her again, 'I met Costia when I was fifteen. She was in a village I visited as Commander, they sheltered us after a squirmish with the sand people. I was sheltered by Costia's family. She was a quiet girl. Dark in appearance, quite beautiful,' Lexa had a faraway look in her eye and Clarke nodded, swallowing the jealousy she wasn't expecting to feel. 'I could not stop staring at her over dinner though she did not meet my eye. That night though, she crept into my bed and it was...wonderful.'

'I'm sure it was,' Clarke said bluntly and Lexa looked at her knowingly.

'Not as wonderful as with you ai Prisa,' she reassured, 'I have never felt for anyone what I feel for you. Do not be jealous. Costia was what I needed then. She was kind and gentle in a world of war. She offered to come with me and I accepted. She soothed away the pain.'

'I want to soothe away your pain,' Clarke felt terrible. She had urged Lexa to talk and now all she could do was compare herself to a dead girl.

'You do. Do not forget that after Costia I told myself love was weakness. The pain of her loss was awful. I thought I would never recover but I did, and I held myself at a distance from everyone until you. The first time I saw you my heart stilled and then beat so hard and fast I thought I might die. My stomach turned, and then turned again. I wanted to be with you always, to have your eyes on me. You didn't make me feel weak even though I was weak for you. I have loved before Clarke, as have you. But I love you in a way I've never loved another. You still make my heart race, and my stomach jump and you are mine. You are mine forever.'

'What about if war comes again?'

'We have proven our strength when we fight together. There may be more battles, more pain, more fear, but you and I will face everything together.'

'Do you want children?'

'Children?' Lexa seemed surprised by the question.

'Yes. Do you want a family with me one day? Do you want to live a quiet life ever? Will you be commander forever?'

'I will be the Commander until I die. You will alsombe the Skaiheda. Yes I would love a quiet life and we can have something that resembles that. We must find the quiet amongst the chaos. Life on earth isn't quiet. There is no rhythm anymore, not since the bombs fell. But when we lie together at night, that is our quiet, that is our peace.'

'It's my favourite time.'

'Sha, for me also,' for several minutes they were silent. 'I dream of a child for us sometimes. It feels unattainable at times, but I imagine a small girl with hair like the sun and eyes like the sky.'

'She would not be like you?'

'No, she would be all her mother,' Lexa smiled shyly.

'You would also be her mother.'

'Yes, but she would be like you. As special as you are, as wonderful.'

'Lex, you do know...it wasn't true what I said to the coalition. I am the first girl I described.'

'What I heard...well you described the same girl both times - you are both of them. It is how we look at things and you will never convince me that my heart was wrong when it pounded for you the first second I saw you.'

'I can accept that. But you have to accept how I see you. As amazing. As beautiful. As strong but soft.'

'I am only soft when it comes to you ai Prisa.'

'That's because you love me.'

'Sha.'

'Earth is better with you.'

'It is better with you. And you are not of this earth. Imagine my relief, my utter luck to have you fall from the sky and into my arms?'

'Well I didn't really fall into your arms but yeah ok,' Clarke teased.

'Come, let's tell the others we go to my village. We can make it there by nightfall and you and I can sleep in a warm bed together.'

'Well that sounds amazing.'

'Hmm, it does,' Lexa slid her hand into Clarke's and together they walked to the others.

'My brother liked you.'

'You think everyone likes me.'

'They do. They all desire you. It is part of your power I am sure,' Lexa stated seriously, face pressed into the soft skin of Clarke's left breast.

'There - there's a perfect example of you being silly!' Clarke crowed triumphantly.

'Because I think the world desires my wife?' Lexa looked up at her with wounded eyes.

'Lexa, I love that you find me as attractive as you do, but I assure you - not everyone does.'

'Nia, she looked at you with hungry eyes. Jona didn't try to hide it. Finn. I have heard my warriors talk. I have heard your warriors talk. My ears are trained for the mention of your name.'

'That's a handful. Just as many desire you.'

'Bellamy, Octavia, Raven...'

'Lexa now I know you're making stuff up.'

'No, I speak the truth,' Lexa nuzzled obstinately closer.

'They look at me with love because we are friends, because they care. It is not desire. This,' she gestured to Lexa clinging to her naked body, 'this is desire.'

'Hmmm, yes I desire you.'

'I'm glad you think your brother likes me,' Clarke brought the conversation full circle because Lexa was clearly not planning to be convinced.

'Can you really fix his eyes?'

'He has cataracts. My mom could have. We'll ask Jackson. If I assisted he might be able to. I mean I think I could...if I had the necessary equipment but Jackson has done it before. Kit is willing to come with us to TonDC so we can try.'

'That would be a huge gift. Can you imagine sight after so long without it? He could know my face and the face of my houmon. My goddess.'

'Lexa,' Clarke warned, but she felt Lexa smile against her breast,

'My beautiful, amazing, clever goddess.'

'Thin ice Commander.'

'You know I like it when you call me that in bed,' Lexa rolled onto her and smiled down amidst her loose hair.

'I say your name in bed and you're turned on,' Clarke rolled her eyes.

'That's because you're my sex goddess,' Lexa smirked and Clarke marvelled at the fact that she got to see Lexa this way, that she helped the stoic Commander loosen up and have fun, even if it was only ever in the privacy of their bedroom. Lexa trailed kisses down Clarke's throat, then lower, sucking a nipple into her mouth and moaning.

'Lexa we need sleep,' Clarke protested because she had already been thoroughly loved, and thoroughly loved her wife in return.

'But I wish to love you,' Lexa explained, nipping and causing Clarke's body to arc off the bed and scream at her mouth to shut up.

'Well if you wish to,' she conceded and placed a hand on Lexa's dark hair encouraging her journey south. The small hum of contentment from Lexa made her smile and her stomach flop over. She loved Lexa. Loved her.

'Bellamy,' Clarke yelled, slipping from her horse and running into his arms.

'Clarke,' he was grinning so widely she thought his face might split. 'Fuck but it's good to see you.'

'And you.'

'Share the love,' Raven grumbled, and Clarke released Bellamy, only to pull Raven into her arms. Then Miller, Monty, Octavia, endless people. Even Jasper stared from where he sat around the campfire.

'How come you're all here?' Clarke stared at them all around the fire.

'Your wife may have sent someone ahead to tell us when you'd arrive,' Bellamy shrugged and Clarke looked over her shoulder at Lexa who was speaking with Indra. She sent her a small smile, thrilled when Lexa returned it.

'Tell me everything, and I mean everything.'

'Bell has a girlfriend,' Octavia sassed.

'I'm sure she's not good enough,' Clarke stated at the same time as Raven said, 'she's too good for him,' and they all laughed.

'Ok, sit and eat. We have food, we have music and we have some of Monty's moonshine,' Bellamy linked his arm through hers and tugged her to a log around the fire. Clarke watched Lexa walk off with Indra and focussed on her friends.

'Lexa,' Clarke attempted to tip toe into her tent though she wasn't sure exactly why she was bothering when she fully intended to wake the Commander. 'Lexa,' she repeated her name, remembering all the times she'd walked into the Commanders tent before. In the early days she'd never been drunk, not ever and everything had been so loaded, both before Mount Weather and after. Of course she'd stumbled into their room in Polis with liquor in her blood many times. She spied her wife, body curled around her pillow as if it were a body. Clarke dropped all her clothes to the floor carelessly, and snuck under the furs, hands immediately seeking warm skin.

'Clarke, I'm sleeping.'

'I wish to love you Lexa,' she practically sang in her inebriation.

'I'm sleeping,' Lexa protested.

'You always let me love you when I'm drunk,' Clarke pouted unreasonably offended.

'You and Peyo do not drink until it is nearly dawn.'

'I haven't seen them in six months.'

'Bellamy, Octavia and Raven were in Polis not three months ago.'

'But I haven't been home in so long.'

'And TonDC is home?' Lexa kept her eyes shut despite Clarke's wondering hands.

'You're home Lexa,' Clarke answered affectionately.

'You just said you haven't been home in so long?' Lexa huffed in frustration.

'That's why I wish to love you,' Clarke responded proudly. 'Because you're home and I haven't been home in sooo long.'

'You're ridiculous,' Lexa's eyes fluttered open and took in her beautiful wife.

'You're wearing too many clothes. I can't see my home properly,' she pulled at material.

'You had fun with your friends, then?' Lexa asked as Clarke pushed at her tank, clumsily tugging it from her body before shimmying under the furs and pulling down her sleep bottoms.

'Yes, I had fun,' Clarke murmured from somewhere near the bottom of the bed. 'I like being in TonDC. We're going to the Ark tomorrow.'

'Are we?'

'Yes,' Clarke was kissing her thighs, up one and down the other, then up and down.

'You're teasing me,' Lexa huffed.

'You haven't consented to my drunken advances,' Clarke pointed out, warm breath fanning Lexa between her legs.

'I allowed you to strip me,' Lexa fed her fingers into blond locks.

'You said you were sleeping,' Clarke edged closer to her goal.

'Clearly I am now awake.'

'And you wish to be loved?' Clarke asked and Lexa moved her hand from blond hair and grabbed Clarke's hand from where it was on her thigh before she pushed it into the wet warmth between her legs.

'Yes,' she groaned out the word and Clarke's whole body thrummed with the neediness in her voice. Lexa's fingers slid from hers, pushing their way back into her hair as Clarke kept her fingers inside of her wife, pumping them slowly, steadily, in deep and with an expert curl to them, her hot breath dancing over Lexa's clit, where her thumb rubbed circles. Lexa groaned because Clarke was relentless, she always was when she was drunk, doing everything that pulled the sexy noises she loved from the Commander, doing everything that turned her from strength to mush, everything that made her melt into their bed in pleasure - from the angle of her hand, to using her warm breath, her tongue, three fingers, curling them. Clarke did it all when she was drunk and with so much enthusiasm Lexa never stood a chance, coming once, and then twice in minutes, Clarke only stopping when her wife begged, tugging her up and into heated kisses, before sliding down her body in return.

'Thank you for coming here,' Clarke mused after, when Lexa had found her favourite position, this time a leg thrown across the Skaiprisa.

'We will be away from Polis for several weeks if you wish to visit every clan.'

'I want to see them all, meet all the people and the leaders again.'

'I know,' Lexa held her tight. 'We will do our visits and then return here again for another visit if you want?'

'We said we'd stay here for two weeks before we go anywhere else?' Clarke mumbled, half asleep.

'We will,' Lexa reassured, 'but we will also return on our way home.'

'Good.'

'I thought we could take your friends back with us for a visit. I think Monty and Miller should come?'

'Yeah?' Clarke looked at her with a bright smile, opening her sleepy eyes.

'Yes,' Lexa nodded.

'Hmmm, you know I love you?'

'You've told me so once or twice,' Lexa wrinkled her nose and Clarke smiled,

'Seriously, I don't think I'd like earth if you weren't on it.'

'Lucky you found me then,' Lexa said.

'Maybe I did fall from the sky just for you?'

'At last you admit it,' Lexa nestled closer, as Clarke giggled. 'Now sleep. Your head will hurt in the morning.'

'Hmm, ok,' she turned ever so slightly into her wife, not enough to dislodge her from her favourite pillow, but enough to drape an arm around her slim waist. 'Love you.'

'Ditto,' Lexa stated and Clarke felt her smile against her breast.


End file.
